bakerstreet | I have loved you for a thousand years...

I have loved you for a thousand years...

Some say that if a pair of lovers die together in tragedy, they will get another chance when they are reborn. Even if the two of you keep losing each other, you'll get to meet again.

This meme is that meeting. For the first time? For the hundredth time? That much isn't clear. What is clear is that on this, your seeming first meeting -

Everything rushes back to you. Memories, emotion, and all the comes with it...including the memory of how you two died. Overwhelming, isn't it? Some people find it hard to accept, for good reason. What will you do? You can't just bring it up, they'll think you're crazy! Maybe you don't want to bring it up, as you refuse to believe it yourself. And even if you do believe it, that doesn't mean you have to embrace it. You're your own person, after all. You refuse to love someone merely because of who you were in the past.

Or maybe you can't help but let these feelings rise to the surface because they're too strong. No matter what, you can't repress it. In fact, the more you two meet and spend time together, the more you find yourself falling back into the old roles...and making the old mistakes. That isn't good, though; there's one more thing. One of you, when you first met, had a vision about how the two of you would die this time.

You can't let that happen. Not again.

Comment with your character and your preferences.
Feel free to do a modern AU of your character. Assumed CR and AUs are a must here.
Don't feel obligated to stick with first meetings. Play that the characters have known each other for a while, are trying to have a relationship while trying to be their own unique selves, not having a relationship because THE PAST DOESN'T DEFINE ME, or even trying to avoid death in an adventurous fashion!
Reply to others.

...I'll love you for a thousand more.

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[Rin figures himself to be a rational guy himself, so this is all taking a moment to sink in. He's got so many questions... he doesn't know what to ask first. And perhaps it's because of that cool-headed image that Rin has always had of Haru, but even then, he still cant't understand...]

How... are you handling this so well? How long has this been going on for you? Something bad?

[Because it might be that he's only just started seeing this. And Haru knew what he meant right away.]

This is too weird.

[He's not handling it well. He's confused, he can't always sleep, and sometimes, he can't outrun it, even in the water. What had started out as just flashes had grown into something more, had started to last longer. Feelings he had always held for the other swimmer had been amplified until he was always on his mind. 'What was Rin doing? Who was he with? Haru bet they were having fun. Would Rin have fun with him?' It was amazing how often such simple thoughts had hit him.

But he's not emotional, not really. Surprise manages to catch him off guard well enough, but he had had enough time in private to adjust to this. As nice and happy as whatever that was seemed, he wanted it gone. He wanted to go back to the Rin and Haru they were now. The only Rin and Haru they had ever been. What was the alternative?]

I'm confused. [He'll admit as much.] I don't like having waking dreams.

[Those eyes stay on him.] What happens in yours?

[Rin gets to his feet, starting to pace around the dining room. His appetite is all but forgotten like this. Maybe Haru doesn't handle it well, but the more Rin thinks about it, the less composed he gets. He doesn't know if he should be glad that he isn't the only one losing his mind, or... or whatever else this is supposed to mean.]

I just-- this just happened today... I don't know why! I just started feeling weird this morning. Then when we met up at the pool, it started happening for real, but just in bits and pieces. And just now, it looked like a movie with us in some kitchen, but I felt it-- like a memory! But how?

[Neither of them ever put on some traditional wear and decided to act out some play or anything. But he could hear one voice, clearly, in that strange old accent.]

B-But one thing stuck out the most. I said something...

[Unable to sit while Rin stands, he follows suit. The grill had been turned off when he had come back inside, leaving the fish to chill, not completely cooked. Like his friend, Haru's mind wasn't on food, not when they were talking about something so impossibly strange. If he could figure out how, he would have thought this was Makoto's way of making Haru take him more seriously when he talked about ghosts.

Even Haru's mixed up logic can't explain this.]

Something? What did you say? [He was desperate for any answer, any way to explain how and why this was happening. Nothing he had done or experienced before could come close. They did, at least, have the house to themselves. The silence stretched on outside and into the other rooms, leaving only the two of them to speak. If anyone heard them, would they be written off as crazy?]

[Pacing around, Rin can recall something he said in the pool. At the time, he didn't think about it much. It was too strange to be deliberated on. But now, as he's grasping the situation, he finds himself... really conflicted about sharing exactly what he heard.]

Well, I said--

[Er. He fidgets a little.]

I said...

[He brushes his hair back.]

Agh! Well, it can't have been me saying that. Well, it felt like it was me saying that, but...!

[Rin finds himself growing more and more red by the second. Even in such a situation, when they're apparently sharing the same, weird, vivid memories... Rin can still find it in himself to be self-conscious. What an embarrassing thing to remember.]

[It's not that he intentionally makes it hard, but Haru himself really doesn't know what he means. His memories are good, except for one that continues to elude him. He enjoys remembering the way they lived together, remembering the way they worked together to have a home. He didn't get lonely living here alone, but the Haru he remembers being was happy with it.

So, he doesn't understand what more could be embarrassing.]

Rin? [He doesn't approach him, not too closely, but he's still directly behind him.] What is it? What do you remember?

[What could be crazier than this?]

[Rin has to have a long internal debate about saying it. Yes, he was happy in these old memories with Haru, but... well, is it really him? Them in the past? Ancestors that look far too much like them? Or what could this be? Whatever it is, the nature of the relationship there was obvious.

It just brings up a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. Or, well, there are answers. Readily available ones. But this isn't how he thought he'd end up saying it.]

"M-My love..."

[Saying the words makes him wince. It just sounds so... old-fashioned. Like they would say in old fairy tales or the cheesier romance stories he reads. But more than that, Rin knows that whoever said this was a lot braver than he is.]

"I will always..."

[... there's more to say, but he doesn't dare to finish the rest. He peers over his shoulder back at Haru, looking through the strands of his hair. Most certainly not trying to hide his blushing face.]

Ahh, geez! W-What does it mean?

[Though Rin isn't that dense. He can figure out what it means well enough, at least in the past. But what does it mean now? What does Haru feel about it? Rin almost expects Haru to find it weird that they could be together in any time, which Rin... does not want to hear.

Because they seemed really happy.]

[He doesn't want to think of them as ancestors. That would be a much more logical explanation, of course, but it feels off, wrong. He doesn't feel like he's looking at someone who came before them, he feels like he's looking at them, in a different time. Which was crazy, he knew, but that didn't stop the feeling from being so prominent.]

My...love...[The two words repeat in surprise. They should sound foreign on his tongue, as he wasn't one to talk about love, even as he had begun to talk about friends. It should have felt just as foreign to his ears, as love wasn't something people often talk to him about.

It doesn't. Somehow, he remembers it said with more ease, said as easily as 'good morning' and 'welcome home'. He remembers it because he had once been Rin's love and Rin his.

Probably. Wasn't that what all of this meant? If not, then what? He was tired of being so confused. He wanted this to just make sense, to just click in place and let him know.]

We were. I remember, too. [He looks down.] When we lived together, but I...remember being older.

[Indeed, Rin could feel that he wasn't talking to some astonishingly similar ancestor to Haru, but to Haru. It's trying to make sense of what's nonsensical, but if he were to lean towards what it could be...]

Well, I guess I had some weird feeling that something bad was going to happen. But... I saw that, too.

[Maybe that's why they sounded so dramatic, in the pieces he could catch before. He didn't see anything, he only heard the words. This all feels like they're uncovering some weird mystery.

Rin turns around, so fast he just about spins, to face Haru. He crosses his arms, looks at Haru, then averts his eyes. This is all so unsettling.]

So. Haru.

Looks like we... well, sorta "we"... were together. Either in the past or some fantasy that we're both apparently experiencing.

[But if anything, Rin is far too much of a coward to admit his own feelings. He can readily admit that. Especially when he thinks of how Haru would react, with his cool and even gaze. It's a rare occasion where he can be certain of what Haru feels... so, he might as well try to find out. So, as nonchalant has he can sound:]

... What do you think about that?

[What does he think about it? It was all so confusing, so complicated that it's hard to think any single thing. It was crazy to think that there had been some other kinds of lives. He was Nanase Haruka. swimmer. He had met Rin in school when they had swam together and done something amazing. He remembers his entire life until now, clear as could be.

But he liked the idea. He liked thinking he came home to Rin every day, though he would have liked to know what else had happened. What had they done together? How had it happened? Had they always known? What let them know? Who had spoken up first?

They'd found each other again. Even to Haru, wasn't that kind of amazing? Through another life, through Australia and fights and crazy life, they had ended up in his living room, discovering that they had used to be a couple. He liked it. It was --

And then it clicked. That horrible feeling about letting Rin out of his sight. That had been a past life and now, they were in this one. His eyes grew rounder, more afraid, downright fearful. Just as quickly the blood ran from his face, and his throat constricted.]

Rin... You died. [Technically, so did he since he was here, but that wasn't what he had been feeling.] You...

[Rin's expression fades from that of embarrassment into that of... shock? He wants to berate Haru for changing the subject and not answering, leaving him hanging about where he stood now. But this sounds like an important detail to whatever these strange visions were.

Of course, whatever or whenever they are, they both must have died at some point-- that looks like an era before even their great-grandparents' time. But with the look in Haru's eyes like that, and the sinking feeling in Rin's stomach, it probably wasn't from natural causes.]

What did you see?

[His tone turns more serious, watching Haru closely. Even if this isn't really him, Rin can't help but be curious. In some very morbid way.]

[It wasn't intentional. He had planned to answer, planned to give an actual rather than 'it doesn't matter' or 'do what you want', but he can't ignore that last detail. Nothing as ever hit him so hard before, so deep. Rin had died. Something had killed Rin. He stood before Haru now, so strong and so healthy, but at one point something had taken the other swimmer from him.

Shaken, it takes him a second to realize Rin had asked a question and even then, it takes him some time to answer. This was why he hadn't wanted to part with him. When they were in one another's sites, they knew the other was okay.

Finally, his head shakes.] Nothing. [Nothing of his death, anyway.] I just remember...being afraid. When you're not here, it's strong. It's because you died.

[Rubbing the back of his neck, Rin thinks over all of this.

It feels all like information he could live without. Knowing that he had a past self? That was cool, but it doesn't change anything about his life now. But knowing that he was together with Haru back then? That's... well, what does it matter when that's probably not going to happen this time around? And learning that his past self died in probably in an awful way? All it did was get him all unsettled.]

Well, I'm definitely not gonna die for a long time in this life.

[... Right?]

So you don't need to be scared or anything.

[And that was that, wasn't it? What good was overthinking it going to do? Better to leave it all where it lies. Rin would surely forget it all in a few days, even if it nagged at his mind for a bit. He had training to focus on. Maybe he won't be visiting any museums for a while, but at least he got it all off his chest. He can't stay stuck in the past...]

Edited (sorry just. might as well finish it sorta orz) 2015-10-07 17:07 (UTC)

[Haru doesn't want this either. He doesn't want to think about a time when he and Rin existed but had died. He didn't want to think about all deep connotations that would have; and he's not. All he's doing is reacting. All that fear makes sense now.]

Don't go. [The words are the simplest solution he could come up with. When Rin was somewhere else, Haru couldn't be sure he was safe but when they were together, he didn't have to doubt or question. Whatever else came with that, he didn't care. Now that he knew why he had been so paranoid, he couldn't just shrug it off like he did with most problems. Rin had to be with him until he could finally stop being so scared of losing him.

He finally forces himself to look up, eyes round and fearful. If the other boy said no, what could Haru do?]

[Rin turns around, somewhere between exasperated and... concerned, once he sees the look in Haru's eyes. That's right, Haru was always kinda weird. He'd totally believe on all this stuff about the past repeating itself. Maybe Rin is trying to deny the matter too much, maybe he's being that guy who's ignoring the obvious outcome before him. But... what else is he to do here?

So Rin walks over to Haru, almost avoiding his gaze because of the look in them-- a look that he hates to see on Haru. He extends an arm and wraps it around Haru's shoulders. pulling him into a one-armed hug. Sure, it may be an overcompensating, "manly" way of handling comfort, but still.]

Come on, Haru. You really think something's going to happen to me?

[Didn't a lot of the past repeat itself? How many times had they gone in circles before they had ended up here? The cycle had kept them separated from middle school until they had nearly graduated from high school. Of course he knows Rin is going to die eventually, he's no child, but the Rin in his mind is still young. He can only remember him laughing or talking or relaxing, but there's a memory of him dying somewhere.

Maybe. He couldn't be so sure that he hadn't died first.]

...Yeah. It happened before. [Not even the fabled one arm hug was enough this time.] It can happen again. I don't know how it happened.

[Sensing that the hug isn't completely working, Rin decides to add onto it with a slight squeeze. He still thinks that Haru's being completely over the top about it, but he doesn't like to see Haru so agitated, so the least he can do is try to fix that.]

So what do you wanna do now? You want me to live with you again and you can protect me or something?

[He says it in a joking tone, but really, he doesn't know what else they can do. And he still doubts that this flashback is anything like a premonition.]

[No, he knows they can't move in together. But the feeling was new, frightening, and...

And this is why Haru always thought it was better to stay quiet. You shouldn't force your feelings on others and if Rin was fine with it, Haru would be too. He'd get used to the feeling, he'd learn to ignore it. It might not be pleasant, but the freshness would wear off and it would become easier.

Blue eyes slide away from him. Now, he has to not sound like he's a pouting child. 'Fine' wouldn't work, even if he wants to mean just that. 'Nevermind' doesn't sound any better.]

Things are fine as they are. [There, he decided, that was best. He'd managed.]

[Rin guesses... supposes... that he can extend this hug to one with two arms instead. If it'd make Haru feel any better. Maybe Haru isn't all too huggy, but with how tactile Rin is, it'd at least make himself feel better.]

Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that this is all just... I don't know.

[When it comes to their past selves being together... well. In that case, Rin wouldn't mind reliving the past. But he isn't going to let it be the impetus of any kind of relationship they have in this life. If it ever happens, that is. (He'd like to ask his past self how he managed to work up the nerve...)]

Don't let it bother you too much. Nothing bad's gonna happen to me, got it?

[he sounds as if he's completely convinced. It's not like he's going to get into anything dangerous, like fishing. If there's a way that his past self died, something tells him it could have been that, much like the past three generations of men in the Matsuoka line.

But it won't happen to him.]

Edited 2015-10-10 22:22 (UTC)

[But what if the memories returning now was a sign that something was about to happen? Like a warning? The idea itself was so crazy that it was hard to rule anything in connection to it as unlikely.

They're almost clear now, those thoughts, memories, flashes of a time before now. None of it involves a death, nothing aside from the tightness in his chest.

With their bodies this close, with those memories so clear, it's easy for certain ones to come to the surface. They had kissed a lot, hadn't they? Easily, openly - in the privacy of their own home anyway, and without reservation.

Haru's much less sure, knows he'll struggle with it, but he's willing to drop the topic at least. He nods, memories of peppering kisses and fear mingling together in his confused mind.]

Yeah. [He doesn't pull away or return the hug; it's not a cold front this time, but genuine confusion as he tries to reconcile his memories and wants of the past, the present.]

Just... be careful.

Right, right.

[Rin always makes sure he has a competent spotter, takes all the precautions in order to not get hurt during training. He's surely careful enough. Of course he won't go tempting fate, even if he still doesn't really believe in it. He rests his head in the crook of Haru's neck, letting the hug linger a little longer before pulling away.]

Guess you better keep your eyes on me too, huh?

[Trying to not look like he's being too silly about this, Rin still can't help grinning a bit.]

[Haru should let it go at that. He should nod, go along with it, and forget this ever happened. What good were past memories? Like Rin said, the past was the past and letting himself get worked up over it was stupid.

But things were repeating. Maybe he wasn't, yet?, that Haru that could kiss so openly, but that didn't mean the desire wasn't there. What was kissing like? Why did he only remember the pictures, the emotions, but not the sensations?

Was this a clue as to what would happen if they kissed again? Instead of their relationship breaking up, it would work out? But didn't that only work if Rin was still interested? Did anything he had done suggest he was? It wasn't as if Haru was hyper-observant or aware of that kind of thing, but he still thought of Rin as the kind who could say shameless things.

Though hesitation could be a word that would fairly apply to Haru, it doesn't hold him back as much once his mind was decided. Rather, he could be stubborn in his decisions.

So he does it. He leans forward, trying to mimic the Haru he had seen in his dreams. He's inexperienced but not stupid, he knows how a kiss works in theory. Two lips touch. Eyes closing at the last second, instead of an answer, he goes in for a kiss instead.]

[At first, Rin doesn't know what happened.

First, he was just trying to comfort Haru, make this as not awkward as possible. Despite the fact that they were bonding over shared visions. But he was thinking about heading home, now that this is more or less settled. Whatever some premonition had to show him, Rin had his own plans that he was working towards, and he'd start to put his mind out of it soon enough.

Then Haru was suddenly really close, and Rin felt an unfamiliar warmth against his lips.

He underestimated just how much Haru was thinking about this.]

H-Haru! That was...

[Rin stuttered, although unable to pull back too far.]

T-That was my first kiss!

[Most others would have taken the lack of real reaction badly, but the swimmer was stubborn once he had finally decided on something. It wasn't a rejection, not obviously anyway, so he would wait. It wasn't that he didn't understand Rin's surprise, he would have been surprised too, but he had his reasons for the kiss. Rather Rin rejected him here or later, until the rejection came, he would always be wondering.

Besides, he hadn't seemed to hate the idea of the two of them being together in the past.]

It was mine too. [The first he'd even wanted to have. Kissing, romance, dating, none of it had been very high on his list of things he wanted or cared. He knew there was some kind of connection between himself and the fellow swimmer, but his inexperience kept him from knowing exactly what it would be.]

[Rin's jaw hangs open in shock-- at what, he's not sure. The sudden kiss? Haru's admittance that this was the first one for him too? Whatever it is, Rin moves his lips without any sound for a moment.

Maybe he should say something about how Haru shouldn't feel pressured because of what happened in the past. But Rin's suddenly not in the mood to be rational.]

Really? I mean...

[As cute and cool as Haru is, Rin feels his heart pounding at the thought of being Haru's first kiss. As well as a supplier for more kisses, maybe...? That's enough to make Rin forget about everything else right now. The past or future can wait for now.

Rin slides his hands from Haru's shoulders up to his face, cupping it gently and looking into Haru's beautiful eyes.]

I kinda imagined mine more like this--

[Parting his lips just a little and closing his eyes, Rin leans in just as he pulls Haru towards him. Just like he's seen in the movies... but even as he might fumble, he knows he's luckier than anyone else on the planet.]

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Sorry this is late

it ok. though icons might need renewing orz

=( Sorry

you're stuck with only the romantic icons now

Make love eyes at him Rin

they're mostly aus ep ones, heh

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don't have a shocked face for this

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