bakerstreet | the bj meme

[I'm going to be a selfish poop for him and go receive because wow, alien dicks are just too weird, man. =| Where is it? There's nothing there, plate boy.

Drunken party at the oasis?]

[Use your imagination you ding dong.

And that works for me! But you get to start.]

[But of course...]

Orgy oasis had opened, though Fernando kept telling him it was a terrible name. Damon disagreed. It said exactly what it meant on the tin. Wasn't that the point? Either way, he'd given out invitations to every Unseelie that had a shard, and a few without. The people whose names he actually remembered got specialized invites, ones with passes for free lodging for their stay and drink passes and all the bells and whistles of a VIP. First impressions were important and even Damon knew the benefit of making sure that someone enjoyed their first visit enough to want to come back again.

Javik happened to be on the list of VIPs, so the alien would receive the full package through the mail, along with a handwritten note that basically dared him to come and enjoy himself, if he was even capable.

Yes, Damon could act like a twelve year old. Prove him wrong, Javik.

The two of them were well past first impressions by now. The invitation almost went ignored, but it had been more than a few months since he'd last gone out that way. As an active captain the Unseelie army, he technically had a duty to make his rounds. Whether or not they officially included that spire was irrelevant. VIP 'pass' and challenging note in hand, Javik stepped through the fairy ring to whatever nightmare Damon had concocted for them.

The baron was, of course, otherwise occupied when he arrived. Fernando was very regretful, etc., so Javik took the opportunity to find the alcohol and pass the time on his own. The spire hadn't changed much, save for the amount of drunk and/or naked people hanging about. Not too much different from certain wards on the Citadel, actually.

By the time Damon found him, he'd already passed his limit on the number of drinks he'd allowed himself.

The spire might not have changed, but if Javik hadn't found his way to the actual waterfall and oasis, Damon was going to have to drag him there -- especially since the vampire remembered how much the little buggy had enjoyed soaking in the pool of souls.

But that was possibly for later and it was with a smirk that Damon came upon Javik, his own drink in hand and well into the double digits for the evening. "Oh, look. You came. And here I thought you'd send the invite back covered in crap and set on fire."

That was Damon for 'Hi, nice to see you.'

His trip to the Pool of Souls had been meant to be private, but Damon had a lovely way of ruining things for him. So, as nice as the oasis probably was, he'd hate it on principle.

Javik frowned, and when he blinked, all four eyes were totally out of sync. The vampire reeked of blood and alcohol, as usual. "I would not even go through the trouble."

He hadn't bothered to RSVP, anyways. Poor Fernando.

The quadruple blink effect had him lifting both brows, wondering exactly what that was a sign of. He'd figure it out. "Yet here you are. Which one was worth more trouble, I wonder?"

Hey, he hadn't done the intrusion on purpose. Blame the Black Shuck, okay?

Inebriation, mostly.

"Both. Neither." Javik snorted, waving one hand. The motion just about tipped him over, but he kept himself upright by sheer determination. "Regardless, here I am."

Damon narrowed his eyes, picking up the whiff of alcohol that lingered around the prothean. Then he smiled. "Why, my little buggy boy... are you drunk?" Because that? That was worth the attitude.

Javik's frown, somehow, deepened.

"No," he said, then thought better of it: "I have had too much to drink, yes."

Having too much and being drunk were too entirely different things in his mind.

He laughed, moving to slide an arm around Javik's shoulder, watching those multiple eyes with a casual sort of curiosity. "Are you actually enjoying yourself? Be still my slow-beating heart. I'm shocked. Though, I knew it had to happen eventually."

Javik tensed at the contact, simply out reflex and habit than anything else. He made no move to get away from the vampire.

"Do I look as though I am enjoying myself?" He bared his teeth, inclining his head towards Damon's. Given his expression and general disposition, most people would say no to that question.

"Honestly? I can't tell with you. One expression looks a lot like the next. You could be laughing your ass off half the time and I wouldn't know it. But, come on," he said, giving him a bit of a tug. "Your glass is empty and clearly you need more."

At that, Javik actually did smile, and it was almost unpleasant on his face.

"I spend a great deal of time laughing at the antics of primitive," he said. Looking down at his glass, and finding that it was as Damon said, he didn't resist as the vampire pulled him along.

"Just a pointer, but when you refer to the people around you like they're a dirty word? They might usually have a problem with that. I don't, of course, because I really don't care, but... a tip for later. In case you find that special someone you want to woo."

There was a bar off to the side and Damon headed them over that way. Grabbing a bottle of something handed out to him, he filled Javik's glass, then set his own down to do the same. "Unless you can't woo. Or don't have-- well. I have seen it all and I don't really think there's much to woo there with."

"I already told you I am not here to make friends." And yet, people kept trying to be his friend, or change his mind. He needed to start telling them about how he cut the throats of the last batch of friends he had, but that thought sent him down darker roads. As soon as the glass was filled, he drained it in one shot, setting it down a little too hard on the table. "Why would I want to... woo anyone?"

At the moment, he didn't really care that Damon doubted the existence of whatever equipment he had to offer.

"Why wouldn't you? Or does your kind not actually do anything for pleasure? I mean, I can't procreate, which is sort of the whole legitimate purpose of sex, but... I sure as hell enjoy the practice. Do buggy aliens not enjoy sex? Or do you just... lay eggs? Maybe you're actually a hermaphrodite? Whatever. There has to be something you actually like doing."

Guess whose glass is getting refilled?

Javik scoffed, and the drink was back up to his lips without him really even looking at it. "We always found it to be quaint when a species found they could have intercourse for pleasure, and not solely reproduction. Aliens can be so limited in what they experience, so... numb to one another. We were always a very connected people."

A few words slurred here and there, and he was starting to use his hands for emphasis. Alcohol appeared to have stripped him of the barrier he kept up between the two of them.

An interesting fact for the vampire to observe and one he might have to try to duplicate at another time. For now, he merely enjoyed the fact that not only was Javik drunk, but he was downright genial at the moment. Smiling, he sipped his own drink, watching as hands moved expansively while he chatted.

"Mm, and are you saying that you have more intimate ways of doing... whatever it is you do that primitives don't?"

"Of course it is more intimate." Javik looked positively insulted at the prospect that it wasn't. "Humans, turians - they all lack the sensory ability that allows us to read another on the deepest level. Genetics, memory --"

His lips peeled back in another long-toothed grin. "-- erogenous zones."

When you knew instantly what it would take to get your partner off, not a whole lot could go wrong.

"So you're telling me that genetic memory makes you better lovers? I'm disappointed. I thought it would be more... well, more. With the right attention to detail, humans, and vampires, can easily find the right places to get the party started. I thought you'd have better tricks."

"Clumsy and time consuming." Javik waved it off. Maybe to others it sounded like it took out the mystery and thrill of exploration, but not to him. Being born and raised in war, the culture he'd lived in had been robbed of such luxurious love-making. Quick and heated had its place in the universe. "And more how? What did you expect?"

"I don't know. Something... alien-y. Way more fun than just 'All the other buggys like it when I press here, so you will too'. Feels awfully... primitive."

Was that a dig? Totally a dig.

"At what point did I say we all felt exactly the same?" The look of absolute hate that passed over his face could have peeled paint from the walls. It was a successful dig. "You do not even know what biotics can do for intercourse."

"Oh, please, enlighten me." He gestured with his hand, drink barely staying in the glass as he smirked over at Javik. Ah, he did so love getting a reaction from him.

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