the morning after meme (expanded)

[bottecellie]

the morning after ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ a meme → COMMENT WITH YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME, FANDOM, AND PREFERENCE. → PICK A CHARACTER YOU WANT TO TAG AND HIT UP RNG (01-10), OR CHOOSE A SCENE OF YOUR OWN. → PLAY NICE; NO WANK, FLAMES, OR GENERAL HUMBUGGERY. ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ the scenarios ① BREAKFAST IN BED: YOUR PARTNER'S UP AND ABOUT -- MAYBE DRESSED, MAYBE NOT -- AND IN THE KITCHEN. WHAT ARE THEY MAKING YOU? COULD IT BE... GRILLED CHEESE? ② HIT ME BABY: THEY'RE SUCH A PEACEFUL SLEEPER. A PEACEFUL, SEXY SLEEPER. ACTUALLY THERE'S TOO MUCH OF THAT SLEEPING HAPPENING. WHY DON'T YOU WAKE THEM UP, WORLD'S KINDEST ALARM? ③ ESCAPE FROM AZKABED: YOU WAKE UP TO FIND THEY'RE RUMMAGING ABOUT FOR THEIR CLOTHES, ABOUT TO LEAVE. WHY THE RUSH, AND CAN YOU CONVINCE THEM TO STAY? ④ THE AFTERNOON AFTER: AND THE EVENING, MAYBE EVEN THE MORNING AFTER AFTER... HOURS HAVE PASSED BUT YOU JUST CAN'T LEAVE EACH OTHER! OR MAYBE ONE OF YOU JUST WON'T... ⑤ HANGOVER FROM HELL: THERE'S A TIGER IN THE CLOSET, A BABY IN THE BATHROOM, AND A TOTAL STRANGER CURLED UP BESIDE YOU. WHO IS THIS PERSON BESIDE YOU SMELLING OF TEQUILA AND REGRET? DO THEY KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT WHAT, OR WHO, WENT DOWN THAN YOU DO? ⑥ WET AND WILD: DON'T FEEL TOO LONELY WAKING UP BY YOURSELF -- THE SHOWER'S ON AND THE SOUND OF WATER FALLING IS MIGHTY INVITING. WHY DON'T YOU GET CLEANED UP -- OR DOWN AND DIRTY ALL OVER AGAIN? ⑦ I'LL SLEEP WHEN I DIE: SLEEP? WHAT IS THIS SLEEP THING YOU SPEAK OF? DAWN'S BREAKING AND NEITHER OF YOU HAVE GOTTEN A WINK, OR WANT ONE. WHO'S READY FOR ROUND asjldkjl? ⑧ A BITTER PILL: TURNS OUT THE REASON YOU SCORED WASN'T YOUR SPARKLING WIT AND MAGNETIC CONFIDENCE. YOUR PARTNER HAD AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE -- THEY ALREADY KNEW IT, AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO. RECON? REVENGE? REBOUND? TAG AND FIND OUT, IF YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH! ⑨ THIS ISN'T MINE: THAT SLEEPY PERSON IN YOUR LIVING ROOM HAD A GREAT NIGHT -- WITH YOUR ROOMMATE. WELL, MIGHT AS WELL GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER WHILE YOU'RE BOTH THERE, RIGHT? ... RIGHT? ⑩ WILD CARD: ROLL MORE THAN ONCE AND COMBINE SCENARIOS, CHOOSE YOUR FAVOURITE, OR MAKE UP YOUR OWN! Stolen from here.

Comments

[therealgenius]

[Tony might swallow, but Justin spits.

Meaning that while Tony chokes on his drinks, Justin spit-takes. It's not very attractive, and thankfully the bartender was on the other side, but it's just another habit of his, really. He managed to take a heavy napkin and pat everything down, looking confused as he's ever been.]

Isn't uh...Romanoff part of that? Don't think she'd take kindly to me being in the same room, you know.

[manofiron]

[ Swallowing is just so much easier. Less mess. And Tony does hate cleaning up messes.

Judging from the way he's looking at the fountain otherwise known as Justin Hammer, he's glad he was facing away from him when the waterworks started. ]

Natasha? She's all right. Long as you don't end up between her legs.

[ He makes an obscure, confusingly vague gesture near his neck that's supposed to communicate getting one's neck broken by a psychotic assassin's thighs. ]

Besides, Fury prefers his meetings violence free. Last time I tried pissing Bruce off, I got thrown out for being disruptive.

[therealgenius]

[Only for Dummy, right?

His eyes narrow behind those doofy glasses, as though he's running diagnostics on him without saying anything. He's sizing him up, really, trying to figure out what this new game plan is.]

And they still invite you? Have you thought of, I don't know, behaving for once? It might make the meeting, oh, productive.

[manofiron]

[ Only for Dummy. And only sometimes.

He meets that look with one of disbelief. Like Justin just started speaking an alien, and totally incomprehensible language. Tony Stark, behave? ]

Why would I do that? That would be boring. And since Fury's determined to waste my time, I might as well enjoy myself a little.

[therealgenius]

Yeah, but by acting your totally unpredictable self, you're wasting everyone else's time, too, aren't you? Think about it like that, give you some new perspective.

[Because that's totally selfish, Tony, and also because anyone who dares waste Captain America's time is a terrible person. Truly terrible, really, he's a National Treasure!

With a Significant Look, he downs the rest of the drink in one go. Too good to waste, really, no more spitting. Only swallowing.]

[manofiron]

[ Tony will never understand what's with you people and your idolization of Steve Rogers. ]

You're ignoring a crucial component to this equation. I don't care.

[ Empathy is hard. Especially when he doesn't like to be agreeable and he gets antsy when he's cooped up in one place for too long. Like, five minutes too long. ]

You want another one? Here, I'll get you another one. Bartender! Another round over here, thanks.

[therealgenius]

[Hey! He has a Howard Stark wristwatch, too, kept in mint condition in a glass stand, all right. He has proper respect for American heroes, Captain America just so happens to be the only one alive of his two childhood idols.

Justin purses his lips at the quick change of topic, eyes almost slits as he narrows them further.]

So everything you said at the Stark Expo oh-so-long ago was bullshit? It's really all about what you want? Pleasure yourself when you want it, at your leisure, wasn't that what you said?

[manofiron]

Look, Hammer. I didn't ask to be roped into Fury's little circus act. And if I have a problem with the way he thinks he can play puppetmaster while the rest of us dance to his little soldier tune, I think I'm pretty justified.

[ He knocks back his own drink, setting it down so hard the ice rattles. ]

You want to pitch in? I've got plenty of suits. But when everybody around you starts dying, and you're choking on your own blood because your armor took a hit it wasn't built to withstand, don't expect anyone to be there to help you out. Don't expect them to give a damn. Because that's not what SHIELD does. That's not how it treats its toys.

[therealgenius]

[He's made a hammock out of his fingers, resting his chin on them while his attention is firmly fixed on the aggravating and aggravated man in front of him. By the end of it, however, he's leaning his chin in one, tapping a rhythm out on the bar with the other.]

Uh-huh.

[He scoots closer, as though letting Tony in on a great and wonderful secret.]

I've worked with the government for, well, [it's pathetic, yes, but he does manage to laugh] the majority of my professional life, let's just say that. Earlier you were talking about not being the DoD's bitch, but having been bent over by the American government so many times, let me inform you that it's not a SHIELD thing. [This looks like it's hard for him to say. Looks like it's a hard confession to make, which has to mean something no good is about to come out.] I'm about to give you some really confidential information, all right? You shared with me, I'll share with you. Can I do that, will you stay hush-hush about it?

[manofiron]

[ It's because he knows that Justin's spent so much time working for the government that he actually listens. Still, it is Justin Hammer doing the talking, and he is Tony Stark. And it wouldn't be the same if he didn't preface his agreement with a little cautionary comment first. ]

If you're going to tell me to bend over and think of America or some shit, save it. Otherwise...

[ He flexes two fingers in a beckoning gesture. ]

Sure. Hit me.

[therealgenius]

[His voice drops as he leans in, eyes moving about.]

I'm pretty sure you chose Stern to give you that medal to get back at him.

[It's clearly something he hasn't said out loud just yet, and he licks his lips as though that will make it easier.]

He...was in on it the whole time. We were golfing with Vanko informed me that he was doing drones instead of suits. [He manages to look slightly ashamed, at least.] He paid off everyone who knew about him as soon as I was taken into custody. At this point, it would just be my word against his.

[manofiron]

[ Without hesitation, Tony nods confirmation of Justin's suspicions. The greasy bastard deserved it. Hell, even Fury thought so.

And then he goes very, very still as the rest of that sinks in. ]

Stern was involved with Vanko. That's what I'm hearing right now. The government was in bed with Vanko.

[therealgenius]

[He props up his elbow on the bar to put his forehead in his hand, rubbing down it and over his neck. He doesn't know what to say, and he's certainly not about to defend his shitty golf partner in any regard.]

I don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes with that one, I just know that Stern...we were going to visit my facility later, see what he'd...I thought you knew by now.

[manofiron]

If one politician's involved, you can bet the rest are.

[ The second round of drinks arrive. Tony picks his up absently and drains half the glass before he says anything more, one finger tapping distractedly against the bar.

When he looks at Justin again, his face is neutral. Nearly expressionless. ]

Is this going on now? You still trying to make them?

[therealgenius]

[Hands fidget around his drink, already sweating, turning it over.]

P-Probably several, but like I said, he is the only name I have.

[Idly, he takes the lime and squeezes it into his drink, looking just as neutral.]

I already told you no. The answer is still the same, and that's the honest truth.

[manofiron]

Thanks, Justin.

[ It's quiet, it's accompanied by a faint smile, and it's sincere. ]

Serious question. If I sink him, is it going to come back to haunt you somehow?

[therealgenius]

[He grows quiet, but this time it's to grab a small red straw and stir the drink. It's like he doesn't know the answer to the question and doesn't want to know.]

It depends on how you mean sinking him. If it was going to be something where...I'd have to testify, then...I don't know. He has friends in high and low places, but so do I.

[A pause.]

Obviously.

[manofiron]

[ Another drink, and for some time afterward, Tony stares silently into his glass. The scotch has no answers, and no suggestions, but he's a creative guy and really, he doesn't need alcohol to provide inspiration. ]

If we're sharing secrets, Hammer, here's another one of mine.

[ Tony smirks, lifting his glass in a salute. ]

By the time I'm done, there won't be a need to testify.

[therealgenius]

[He looks up from where he was miserably staring at his fingers tapping against the bar, eyebrows creasing his forehead with each passing moment that he speaks.

It's almost like he's going to protest, but whatever he was going to say dies before it can make its way past his throat. His head tilts as he tries to figure this all out.]

And I won't owe you anything?

[manofiron]

[ He look he gives him is a little blank. At least initially. His forehead wrinkles and his mouth screws up into a perplexed frown. ]

What am I, the Godfather?

[ Snorting, he shakes his head. ]

No, Hammer. You won't owe me anything.

[therealgenius]

You do have kind of a younger Pacino thing going on, actually. Dark hair, the goatee, dark eyes...

[He lets that rest and pulls up his drink to suck through the tiny straw, eyes darting around the area. What if someone was recording that? What on Earth would they have to deal with press-wise?]

You're not going to like...drop him in the ocean, right?

[manofiron]

Excuse you. I look much better than Pacino.

[ Now he's wondering if he has bags under his eyes. And jowls. What if he has jowls? ]

Satisfying as that might be in the immediate, I'm thinking lasting, career-destroying humiliation would be better.

[therealgenius]

[He doesn't have jowls. Yet. He's not quite at bloodhound age.]

But how can you do that without...anyone's word against him? Hack his shit?

[manofiron]

Oh, I'll get someone's word. His.

[ Standing up, Tony slips a tiny touchpad from his pocket and settles back down, already keying in a series of codes. A glance at Justin and he lifts an eyebrow. Watch and learn. ]

JARVIS, I need the last fifty years of the good Senator Stern's life compiled and cross-indexed into one cohesive sordid tale. Every backroom deal, every secret handshake, you name it, I want it. And those of his hundred closest friends. Minus Justin Hammer.

[ He waits for the confirmation to flash across the screen, then he slips it back into his pocket and turns a loose grin on Justin. ]

There. See?

[therealgenius]

[It's hard to get a read on whatever Justin's feeling.

He watches intently, and about halfway through the entire thing has stopped to pick up one of the heavy napkins. By the time Tony's apparently done so quickly and easily, he's dabbing at the corners of his eyes, and he punctuates the end with a loud blowing of the nose.]

Ah...got lime in my nasal cavity.

[It's obviously a lie, but how does one tell Tony Stark they he just did the nicest thing that one could ever remember being done for them?]