$400 2br no pets **MUST BE RELIABLE**

[screw]

The Roommate Ad Meme

Making ends meet isn't always easy—rent and utilities don't pay for themselves! So, it's time to go to intergalactic Craig's List and find your perfect roommate (who's willing to pay the right price). How you offer up the space you have available is up to you, but it's high time you found someone to fill that hole in your wallet life.

Rules and Process:

1. Comment with your character putting their name and canon in the subject line. Alternately, if you're feeling up for it, comment anonymously!
2. Do not leave the comment blank! (That sort of defeats the purpose of this meme.) Instead, post your character's roommate ad in the body of the comment. It can be short, it can be hella long—just keep it IC!
3. Characters can respond to ads however players want. Would you like to have them conferring via email? Go that route. How about having them meet up at the living quarters in question? Also okay. Just have fun with it!
4. Respect your fellow players, find some imaginary roommates, and enjoy.

Comments

dave strider | homestuck | aged up b/c how else does he have an apartment??

[accelerates]

$600 / 2br / brand new apartment – houston txxx

ok long story short i just got this place and turns out affording it on my own is sweaty balls i dont want pressed up against my blushing virgin cheek. aka thats where you come in with 6 benjamins a month in exchange for all the utilities and dorito sandwiches you can handle. its like t bell went and sent spies into my old place to find out my secret recipe because that dorito shell taco thing has been MY THING since 2001 and thats a fact. anyway other than paying rent and keeping most of your shit in your room i got few requirements.

a. no pets that arent too awesome to say no to. if you arent planning on bringing in a chimp or piranha assume im not cool with fidos presence.

b. men only. some tuesdays i want to walk around naked and most days i dont want to keep the toilet room smelling nice. dudes of the male type definitely preferred.

c. have a job or something idc what.

so yeah looking at my funds it would be really cool if i could get someone by june but i can hold out until august. your rooms decent sized and the kitchen works and i already implied internet so ive got your back man. youre covered.

email me at turnbabyturn@pestermail.com or call (555) sweet-bro

peace

meet-up?

[familyjoules]

[ It's the last listing he has on hand and the last he has left to check in on. Every other offering until now has been a dud, a dead-end, a bad deal in the makings and more often than not just plain old undesirable. Living in the earthly realm isn't as simple as some make it out to be, and Thor's been figuring this out the hard way indeed.

So he's there, knocking on this last door with the printed ad in hand and schooling his expression into one of polite inquiry. (He'd met the last homeowner with a frustrated scowl; half the meeting had gone toward calming the man down from his impromptu panic attack.)

He hopes this one goes better than the last dozen. ]

[ e-mail from torch@ff.org ]

[flamebrain]

Yo dude, what's your policy on pet defeated-evil-giant-bug-monster-overlords?

He stays on his leash.

meet up if that's okay

[envytheparfait]

[The apartment is perfect. It is located directly across the street from where his newest target resides. One he's been tracking for a while now. He thinks it's about time he... settles down in a more habitual nest instead of his temporary hideout.

And, so, that's why his knuckles are rapping against the door now. He doesn't much enjoy the company of humans, but, hey, he can compromise. It's definitely better than living in a shit hole for another couple of months.]

Derek Morgan / Criminal Minds

[denythefact]

Room for rent. Own bathroom. Access to kitchen and rest of the house. I'm away a lot just no wild parties, I'll know. No drugs. Male or Female roommate welcome. For more information call Derek 703-272-8236.

Yue Katou | Angel Sanctuary

[highestangel]

i can't pay the rent on this place but it has a bathroom and a kitchen and a couch. the springs mostly stay in

and a greenhouse but i take care of that i swear to god don't fucking go in there

must be OK w/ smoking and drugs

my phone # is 593-2359

[sympathyforme]

Number was recognized. Not that he even needed it, after this intro. Very recognizable, there are not that many with that brand of idiocy.

"Next time you put up an ad, show it to me first."

Eleventh Doctor | Doctor Who

[aintno_grave]

Cool hat / ∞ br / 1963 blue police box - anytime any place

Since my previous companions moved out, it's been quite lonely around here and so I thought I'd advertise for a new one! I'm searching for someone who's smart, adventurous, and a fast runner. Also, a million points if you hate apples and pears. Though, I do need to lay some ground rules, I'm afraid...

a. Open to new and strange ideas.

b. Must have the long-suffering, "OH MY GLOB, HE'S SO BRILLIANT" schtick down.

c. Not easily prone to falling in love.

d. Yeah, could you not be sent to kill me? That would just be super.

e. Bring own toilet paper.

f. NO DALEKS OR CAPTAIN JACKS!

Just wish REALLY HARD and I'll be there. And, no, your face doesn't look stupid like that.

I can't not do this

[mechavellian]

[Wow, what is he even reading.

The anonymized e-mail link is a dead end; he has to wonder, for a second, whether this guy is genuine about this 'click your heels and make a wish' business.

Well. More than a second, actually. The whole thing's pretty silly, but it's not like that's ever fazed him.

So, sure, whatever. He crosses his fingers (both hands!), furrows his brows over the top of his shades in his deepest concentrated stare at the words Just wish REALLY HARD, and.

Wishes.

REALLY HARD.

So much harder than all those other suckers making their wishes right now. This guy is a wishing machine.]

[handymetacrisis]

[Full well knows this e-mail could be ignored, but takes a chance anyway.]

Brilliant hair / London - Pete's World
RE: Cool hat / ∞ br / 1963 blue police box - anytime any place

-Will definitely not agree to bullet "b". Your ego is already bloated enough as it is.

-Why is "e" even an issue, or do I not want to know?

You know exactly where to find me and no, I'm not wishing really hard because your face does look stupid that way. Don't be such a git.

[uncommon]

[...how did she even get this number?

(Answer: UNIT files, Mycroft's desk, family issues).]

'B' not an option. Others reasonable. Not prone to wishing. Just hurry up. SH

Dirk Strider | Homestuck | Uhhh aged up and AU as hilarious as his canon situation would be here

[mechavellian]

$300 - Downtown apartment. - (Houston)

Honestly, I've been holding this place down by myself for like a year already. That's getting pretty fucking boring though, so I'm cleaning all the mechanical parts and sewing machines out of the second bedroom and opening it up to public perusal.

The rent's a flat rate, no strings. There's a futon if you need it, I guess, but you should probably consider an upgrade. The sooner you do that, the sooner we can drag that God-forsaken thing out to the middle of nowhere and make a fireball out of it. Don't worry, I definitely know what I'm doing.

Just be cool, be employed, and don't make the neighbors call the cops on us. No kids, pets negotiable but also extremely inadvisable. The refrigerator will occasionally contain swords.

Must love puppets.

[abductivereasoning]

[ You may recall that you did not publish your phone number, Dirk -- thus it is probably a bit odd that, upon checking your phone, you have received a text in regard to your ad. That's not weird at all. ]

In need of temporary housing while in Houston on business. 2 months will suffice. Will pay in advance. Acceptable?
SH

Meet-up if this is okay?

[pishirogane]

[Naoto takes pause, glancing at the ad again before looking back at the door. This... appears to be the correct place. Anything to get away from the current living situation and just until the current job is done. Any longer in the other apartment and there will be an unsolvable case on hand]

[Knock, knock, knock...]

[And now the wait.]

Sherlock Holmes // Sherlock

[abductivereasoning]

£400 - 2 bedroom - London

Looking to sublet space in flat temporarily. Will be available at least 6 months as I get a number of things in order. Large space, upstairs bedroom is available, access to sitting room and kitchen. A bit about myself:

‣ I play the violin. It helps me think. If that is a problem I do not advise responding to this ad.

‣ I am a private person. Very private. You will not talk about me to anyone, ever.

‣ Sometimes I won't talk for days on end. This is how I work. Other days I will be talking and it will not be to you. This is also how I work. Do not bother me while I am working.

‣ I run experiments in the kitchen. Do not contaminate them.

Utilities are included. Landlady accepts all sorts but do not cause trouble or call attention to our flat. No children, pets, or those who are particularly daft even compared to the average intelligence of your normal, everyday idiot. No calls, I will respond to texts only. 07 987 654 321.

SH

IEK....

[dr_pretty_boy]

My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. I'm new to country and work on loan to Scotland Yard. I may be interested in renting that room if it's still available.

-S.R.

Peter Parker/Spider-Man | Marvel 616

[punyparker]

$800 / 2br / Manhattan, NY

Living in New York is really freakin' expensive and my last roommate was a total disaster, so I'm looking for someone sane to fill the spare room. I'm not in the apartment a lot, I work three or four jobs (only one of them pays - yeah, I know), so you'll have the place to yourself most of the time.

• Having guests round is fine, having crazy parties where things get set on fire or horse aliens crush my toilet is NOT FINE.
  
• SERIOUSLY DON'T SET THINGS ON FIRE.
  
• Please don't turn my closets into portals to other universes, I need to be able to get my jacket for work in the morning.
  
• If you hear someone entering or leaving the apartment at like 3am, don't stress about it, it's cool.
  
• Unless they start setting things on fire.
  
• Please don't be "helpful" and do my laundry for me, I'm really private about my clothes.
  
• Don't lock the windows at night. This is really important.
  
• Corrupt cops, supervillains and Johnny Storm need not apply.

rofl

[polyturtle]

[ring ring]

[howdoiairbend]

I'll try not to set anything on fire. And don't worry, I'm not going to throw a party or anything, I'm kinda new here, too.

Donatello Hamato | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003)

[polyturtle]

CENTRAL PARK, MANHATTAN - RENT NEGOTIABLE

Friendly family subletting converted early 20th century reservoir pump. Plenty of room to separate from renting family. Prime location near the best museums, restaurants, landmarks of NYC. Close to most major subway lines.

All available rooms updated for modern conveniences by owners. Indoor wading pool. Water/electricity/heat/internet/etc. included in cost of rent. Renewable monthly. Rooms can be altered for renters' convenience.

-Owners prefer quiet non-smokers with interests compatible to owners' unusual schedules and interests. Interests of owners include martial arts, armaments study, computer repair, comics, music, building cars, investigatory work & aliens.

-All prospective renters must be pet friendly and very good with handling different types of animals, including (but not limited to) turtles, rats, crocodiles, and cats.

For more information call Don @ 212-TUR-TLES (887-8537)

Re: Donatello Hamato | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003)

[loves_nature]

[She would call Don almost immediately after reading this. She did need a new place to stay and the pet thing did seem very tempting.]

Um hi, I'm calling about the rent add you put out?

Dr. Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow | Batman (Nolanverse)

[ontogeneticparade]

$700 - 2 bedrooms - Gotham

Looking for roommate. Must be quiet, courteous and respectful. No smoking, no pets, no children, no parties. Immediate eviction will follow if you have the police called on us.

Must be vigilant about keeping doors locked. I work unpredictable hours and may be called away by business for a few days at a time, and I expect my possessions to be safe in my absence. Snooping through my things will not be tolerated. I have an eye for details and I will know.

Apartment is five minutes away from subway and bus stops. Water/electricity/heat included in rent. Wireless internet available, but reception is spotty; I recommend using the wi-fi hotspot at the Starbucks a block away. Window-mounted air conditioner. No landline phone.

If interested, please contact Jon at anxiolytic@citynet.com.

I'm sadly not familiar with Nolanverse so bare with me xD

[byebye_mistah_j]

[Email from schizodepend@citynet.com]

Well hello Dr. Crane and here I thought you would be able to afford any apartment you wanted.

Henry Townshend | Silent Hill: The Room

[my_private_life]

CHEAP APARTMENT IN SCENIC HISTORIC ASHFIELD!

Due to violent, sanity-breaking paranormal activity personal reasons I have to sublet my apartment ASAP. I'm willing to sublet it extremely cheaply. Picturesque location in a building ripe with colorful local history. One bedroom one bath, bathroom recently remodeled. Open floor plan. Carpet and wallpaper have just been replaced. In unit washer and dryer (brand new! Just installed!) lots of storage space behind laundry room. Laundry room also recently remodeled.

Newly installed fridge and sinks in kitchen and bathroom!

Beautiful park views make this apartment a can't miss deal. Call Henry @ 555-4917 and MAKE YOUR OFFER!

(No microwave, sorry.)

[leftinbasketforfbi]

[Phone's ringing, Henry. Pick it up?]

63!Sherlock Holmes | BBC Sherlock

[uncommon]

Central London flat - two bedrooms - £420.

Flatmate required. Be quiet, at least mildly intelligent and unobtrusive. I don't care about your personal life if you can make rent and keep out of my way. Utter lack of any curiosity or social life a welcome trait; ability to remember we do not touch what isn't ours highly commendable.

I play violin, keep unusual hours and will require room for work of a delicate scientific nature, as well as seeing clients. My work is confidential. Do not expect me to be communicative on that or any other subject. I am not looking for a friend.

Utilities included. No pets. No children. Strong stomach necessary. Smokers strongly preferred. Text, don't call.

[And a number here.]

Re: 63!Sherlock Holmes | BBC Sherlock

[tinfoil_angel]

[A text would eventually arrive.]

I could handle that well. There is only one stipulation on my end, I require room to grow plants. If your work requires herbs that need care I would be willing to add them to my garden.

Also, if you don't ask me about anything you find unusual about me I will reciprocate.

[tailoredsuit]

2br Flat - Negotiable rates

Nice location. Utilities included. All access to whatever furniture that is not in my room.

- No pets, children, smokers, or toe socks
- No personal questions
- Don't go in my room
- Seriously. Don't even think about it.
- Not even the doorway.
- Don't touch what's mine, Won't touch what's yours
- Clean up after yourself. Not your mother.

Potential roommates must be okay with unpredictable schedules and random disappearances.

[derpmcnerd]

Is the toesock rule negotiable?

Walter Sullivan | Silent Hill: The Room

[eleven_twentyone]

The following appeared in the Classified Ads of the Ashfield Gazette

Roommate Wanted

Apartment 302 - South Ashfield Heights Apartment Complex

Two bedrooms, one bath, beautiful and spacious apartment in the heart of downtown Ashfield. Looking for an open minded person who doesn't mind taking his shoes off when coming into the room. Someone who is a bit of a night owl and won't mind my own strange hours, coming and going at random intervals. An intellectual, someone that likes to have long philosophical conversations. MUST get along with mother.

Reasonable price (but not too low, you understand. This isn't some sort of slum).

If interested, please drop by and ask for Walter Sullivan. (Some problems with the telephone. That is being looked into.)

[my_private_life]

[Placeholder, because holy crap Internet ate my first reply and I didn't notice until today.]