you're impure. you've done bad things, been a cruel person, or you've been terribly wrong, and you've seen what the world really is. maybe you're bad, or maybe your road to hell is paved with good intentions. whatever the case is, there's red in your ledger.
they're pure. almost innocent, even. they're kind and open and the very opposite of worldly. maybe they're not always good, no one is, but their heart is clean.
despite these differences, there's something between you. you shouldn't relate, you should be worlds away...
how to play
comment with your character. mention if they're more likely to be pure or impure.
reply to others.
use the rng to determine the direction of your thread or come up with your own direction.
prompts
light || the pure is affecting the impure in a positive way.
dark || the impure is affecting the pure in a negative way.
purposeful || you want to corrupt something so pure.
forgive || they know what you've done and they've forgiven you.
death || something comes up from the dark past and strikes out at the one loved the most. they know it would hurt you to see them in pain - or worse.
life || the smut option. will there be hesitance in "defiling" purity?
cheer || never again did you think that there would be simple joys. picnics, birthdays, gentle holding of hands.
confessions || you have to get them into your life; they're the only good thing you can see.
teach || one party is teaching the other about more worldly pursuits, may or may not be sexual. perhaps they feel guilty for this, perhaps they don't.
end || you can't do this to them anymore. they deserve so much better than you.
[The sound of him moving drew her attention. She shifted to raise her head, glancing over at his newly raised leg. She stared in silence for a long moment before she let her head tip to rest against his arm. Even now, he was still so much taller than she was.]
I suppose I'll have to make due with splattering myself on the courtyard. Cassandra will have a fit that I've made a mess.
Probably best to avoid it. She might have Dorian raise you just so she can thrash you, herself.
[He shifted a little so she'd have a softer spot for resting and not directly over bone. He already knew this was likely the limit of the help she'd accept. Companionship and talking. He couldn't fault her for it. He was no different. It was an interesting look at it from the other side of the equation, however, a perspective he hadn't considered.]
Wonderful. I'll be spending part of my afterlife as a training dummy. Fitting.
[She wouldn't complain. In the end, she was just glad he was there even if she never said it. She'd had nightmares after Haven's fall, but never anything like this. She supposed it had to do with her recent physical trip into the Fade but that was the academic side of her taking time to try and rationalize what couldn't really be rationalized.]
... how do you do it? How can you stand to send people to certain death? I keep thinking back to what happened in the Fade, trying to think of a way I could've changed things...
[The question caught him off guard. He had to think about it before answering. It wasn't the sort of question that had an easy answer.]
It's never an easy thing. It never sits easy or goes away. I do it because sometimes I have to. I've been the one sent, taking all the risk, and I've been on the other side of it.
Hawke...definitely knew the risk of being involved in our task. Knew it and took it willingly. That's...part of what I keep in mind. Our people out there are willingly taking these risks. They know what's at stake.
But it will never be an easy thing to do, to make that call. And it never should be.
[She let each word settle in her soul like pebbles in a pond. Always there, always held close and somewhere that can be reached if needed. They weren't soothing but they were what she'd wanted from him. An answer.]
... was this how you felt after you left me at Haven?
I felt...too many things to name about Haven. To this day it...
[It ate at him. It always would eat at him. The fact she came back intact was beside the point. They all thought she had died, and many of their people had.
He shifted uncomfortably and resisted the urge to hug his arms around his knee.]
It's always different with civilians. You expect soldiers to die. If you are one, you know it can happen. Any time something you do leads to the death of innocents or those just trying to live their lives...
You didn't ask for any of this. I felt...guiltier than I have words for.
The guilt was mine. I drew Corypheus there with the choices I made and even if I hadn't, he would've come for me sooner or later. He'll always come for me. Even now, my presence endangers every single person here at Skyhold. Every victory we gain just angers him.
[She shifted away from him when he moved, thinking that his discomfort was rooted in being there with her. It wasn't the kindest of subjects she'd brought up, after all.]
When I saw the future with Dorian, Leliana died to buy us time. At Adamant, Hawke died for me. What happens when I send someone else I know to their death? What happens when it's you?
The guilt is that bastard's for trying to tear the Fade open, or whatever it is he thought he was doing with artifacts clearly beyond his ken and control. You haven't done anything wrong. Don't forget that.
[He tried to catch her eye contact.]
If that happens, then I'll go out and do my damnedest to buy you whatever time you need, and you will make the most of it and save the people counting on you.
Because that's exactly what I'll do if it turns out it's you on the line again. It's what I did at Adamant when I thought we had lost you. It's what we do because the alternative is completely unacceptable. I wish I had a better answer for you. A softer one. Kinder.
[She knew he was right but his answer still galled her to no end. If it came down to it, she'd fight to the end to save as many as she could and she knew he'd do the same but damn it all, as much as she'd fallen in with the Inquisition, it hadn't been her fight in the first place. Once again, things were being dictated for her and her life no longer felt like her own to plan out and live.]
If? For me, there's no if. I know I'll have to face Corypheus again and we all know how likely a second miracle is.
[With a sigh, she heaved herself to her feet. It took her a moment to find her balance thanks to how quickly she'd ended up on the floor in the first case plus the simple fact that her legs had fallen asleep. Not once did she let him catch her eye.]
[He didn't take her anger personally. Maybe he should've. He didn't know for certain. Nothing in any of this was ever certain or secure. It felt like hanging on with a white knuckled grip and praying for the best at the best of times.]
It won't be the same when you do. You're more skilled now. You have more resources, and you're depriving him of his by the day. It won't be a repetition of Haven, whatever happens. We'll all see to that.
[He sighed and climbed to his feet, too. He sensed a dismissal in this.]
[He was smart not to. If she was truly angry at him, he'd know it and to be honest, her moods could be mercurial at times. If everyone took her seriously, she'd have few allies and even less friends.
Huffing under her breath about the chilly floors, she shuffled off to bend over the fire, coaxing it back to life with a little of her mana. It wasn't a necessary expense, but it was just quicker.]
Well, I think we'll have a bit more time before that happens. We're not ready for that fight, but he's even less so, now. As hard as Adamant was to.. deal with, we struck him a serious blow.
[Once the fire was blazing in its hearth again, she let a hands move to warm them for a moment before turning back to face him.]
... I hope I didn't disturb you with... this. Silliness.
[He was relieved to see her stirring the fire. If she was tending to comfort, she was truly coming back to herself, at least for now. He was under no illusions this would be the only difficult night. There would be plenty more to come, with more weight and losses as the time went on.]
We did. None of the sacrifices at Adamant were in vain. No demon army, no possessed Wardens as his playthings. I knew the Champion. Perhaps not as well as Varric, but I did. This is what Hawke would have wanted.
[To go out making a difference one last time.]
You didn't disturb me. When you hurt, I hurt. I know the same is true when the situation is reversed. I wish I had better to offer you than words or a shoulder. But to be perfectly blunt, the only thing that heals wounds like what happened to you is time, and that's something only the march of days can provide.
I'll be here as much as you'll allow it, as I always am.
[In all honesty, she was expecting to go about finishing up some work and not even attempting sleep again, once Cullen left. Part of her didn't want him to go, even though she didn't feel it wise to ask him to stay. It was selfish and silly and she'd already pulled him from his own quiet evening.
Sooner or later, she knew she'd need true rest but for the time being, the few hours she scraped by with each night would have to do.]
I'd keep you here with me for good if I could. I... like spending time with you. We get so little as of late.
Then I'll stay. It's not a hardship. I think you know that by now.
[Waking, sleeping, reading, whatever they needed to do. It wasn't as though she hadn't handheld him through some nights when his nightmares were relentless.
Are you certain you can leave your work behind for the night?
[She was teasing him now, or at least trying to. It fell a good deal short of her usual light tone and the edges of her smile seemed a bit strained, but she was trying.
She knew, but things were still new enough to her that she wasn't used to just being able to ask and there he'd be. In truth, she hadn't wanted to burden him when she knew how bad his nights could be. The last thing she wanted to do was add to his own troubles.]
[She was almost smiling at the thought as she glanced around. She knew there was a small stack of papers on her desk that needed attention but the last thing she wanted to do was spend the rest of the night perched there while she worked. As nice as the other option sounded, she didn't know if it was wise. As it was, they all had a lot to do.
She could finish some reading in bed, though. Right then, a warm room, an even warmer Cullen and a soft bed sounded downright pleasant. Correspondence could wait until morning. For now, she'd settle in with her reports and her Commander and try to make the night a decent one.]
Both. I've got some reports to finish reading, but that can be done in bed. You're always welcome to join me if you like. I'd offer something a bit more... fun, but I don't think I'd be up for it tonight.
You know, she wants to experiment on me. Well, the Anchor. Which is in me. I'm not sure if I should be wary or take it as a compliment.
[She let her gaze follow him for a moment. Even now, she found herself still just watching him. It was silly, really. She just couldn't help it at times.
Clearing her throat, she headed to the desk to pick up a few things from the top of the pile, pausing for just a moment to trace her fingers over a half-written letter. That was all the thought she'd give it for now, though. Things like that could be left for tomorrow.]
It's a shame, though. You've spoiled me for other men.
I'd say wariness is always a good policy when it comes to our arcanist.
[She didn't need to be actively malicious to do harm with her curiosity.
He shook the blankets out and had them mostly straightened by the time she reached the desk. The undersheet was still a mess. There was less he could do about that alone.]
I'm not sure I'd say that's a shame.
[There was teasing in his voice although the sentiment was a bit more serious. He didn't like to think of her with others. He never saw himself with others. The very thought of it felt beyond him.]
[There was no doubt in her. Her heart was his, all neatly bound up if he wanted it. While the Dalish didn't exactly life a chaste life and she'd been no stranger to the more physical acts of love, he'd won her over without even having to try. For her, there would be no others.
Papers in hand, she moved back to the bed, already reaching down to help him settle the last bit of the bedding she'd torn up earlier.]
Ah. Don't misunderstand me. It's a shame we're both too worn out to indulge.
I like to think that one day all of this will be over and done with to a satisfactory conclusion for both of us. We'll run off, sleep for a week, and make up for every time we've had to put each other off and either work or rest.
[Simplistic perhaps and almost certainly overly optimistic. He didn't care. He liked his fantasies, and they served a purpose. They continued to give him something to look forward to beyond more fighting and stress.
He flipped the covers back, kicked his boots off, and slipped between the sheets to get settled.]
[Simple was usually the best, even if she knew it such a thing would likely never happen. Fantasy was a good thing, a healthy thing, but it was something Elareth rarely indulged in anymore. Her life had become a study in practicality.
She heard his boots settle heavy on the floor and paused as she'd been about to perch herself on the edge of the bed.]
... you wore your boots? Why didn't I hear you come in?
[She might be tired, but she knew laying down was a bad idea. It would only encourage her to go back to sleep and that was the last thing she wanted. She might need it, but there was no way she was ready to.
Still, it was hard to resist the idea of curling up with her Commander.
Smiling a little, she slid under the covers and propped herself up next to Cullen, reports in hand and trying to keep from getting distracted with him there beside her.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kinking) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2015-02-10 08:35 pm
no subject
I suppose I'll have to make due with splattering myself on the courtyard. Cassandra will have a fit that I've made a mess.
no subject
[He shifted a little so she'd have a softer spot for resting and not directly over bone. He already knew this was likely the limit of the help she'd accept. Companionship and talking. He couldn't fault her for it. He was no different. It was an interesting look at it from the other side of the equation, however, a perspective he hadn't considered.]
no subject
[She wouldn't complain. In the end, she was just glad he was there even if she never said it. She'd had nightmares after Haven's fall, but never anything like this. She supposed it had to do with her recent physical trip into the Fade but that was the academic side of her taking time to try and rationalize what couldn't really be rationalized.]
... how do you do it? How can you stand to send people to certain death? I keep thinking back to what happened in the Fade, trying to think of a way I could've changed things...
no subject
It's never an easy thing. It never sits easy or goes away. I do it because sometimes I have to. I've been the one sent, taking all the risk, and I've been on the other side of it.
Hawke...definitely knew the risk of being involved in our task. Knew it and took it willingly. That's...part of what I keep in mind. Our people out there are willingly taking these risks. They know what's at stake.
But it will never be an easy thing to do, to make that call. And it never should be.
no subject
... was this how you felt after you left me at Haven?
no subject
[It ate at him. It always would eat at him. The fact she came back intact was beside the point. They all thought she had died, and many of their people had.
He shifted uncomfortably and resisted the urge to hug his arms around his knee.]
It's always different with civilians. You expect soldiers to die. If you are one, you know it can happen. Any time something you do leads to the death of innocents or those just trying to live their lives...
You didn't ask for any of this. I felt...guiltier than I have words for.
no subject
[She shifted away from him when he moved, thinking that his discomfort was rooted in being there with her. It wasn't the kindest of subjects she'd brought up, after all.]
When I saw the future with Dorian, Leliana died to buy us time. At Adamant, Hawke died for me. What happens when I send someone else I know to their death? What happens when it's you?
no subject
[He tried to catch her eye contact.]
If that happens, then I'll go out and do my damnedest to buy you whatever time you need, and you will make the most of it and save the people counting on you.
Because that's exactly what I'll do if it turns out it's you on the line again. It's what I did at Adamant when I thought we had lost you. It's what we do because the alternative is completely unacceptable. I wish I had a better answer for you. A softer one. Kinder.
We don't have room for it.
no subject
If? For me, there's no if. I know I'll have to face Corypheus again and we all know how likely a second miracle is.
[With a sigh, she heaved herself to her feet. It took her a moment to find her balance thanks to how quickly she'd ended up on the floor in the first case plus the simple fact that her legs had fallen asleep. Not once did she let him catch her eye.]
You're right, though. We don't have room for it.
no subject
It won't be the same when you do. You're more skilled now. You have more resources, and you're depriving him of his by the day. It won't be a repetition of Haven, whatever happens. We'll all see to that.
[He sighed and climbed to his feet, too. He sensed a dismissal in this.]
no subject
Huffing under her breath about the chilly floors, she shuffled off to bend over the fire, coaxing it back to life with a little of her mana. It wasn't a necessary expense, but it was just quicker.]
Well, I think we'll have a bit more time before that happens. We're not ready for that fight, but he's even less so, now. As hard as Adamant was to.. deal with, we struck him a serious blow.
[Once the fire was blazing in its hearth again, she let a hands move to warm them for a moment before turning back to face him.]
... I hope I didn't disturb you with... this. Silliness.
no subject
We did. None of the sacrifices at Adamant were in vain. No demon army, no possessed Wardens as his playthings. I knew the Champion. Perhaps not as well as Varric, but I did. This is what Hawke would have wanted.
[To go out making a difference one last time.]
You didn't disturb me. When you hurt, I hurt. I know the same is true when the situation is reversed. I wish I had better to offer you than words or a shoulder. But to be perfectly blunt, the only thing that heals wounds like what happened to you is time, and that's something only the march of days can provide.
I'll be here as much as you'll allow it, as I always am.
no subject
Sooner or later, she knew she'd need true rest but for the time being, the few hours she scraped by with each night would have to do.]
I'd keep you here with me for good if I could. I... like spending time with you. We get so little as of late.
no subject
[Waking, sleeping, reading, whatever they needed to do. It wasn't as though she hadn't handheld him through some nights when his nightmares were relentless.
He was both willing and able.]
no subject
[She was teasing him now, or at least trying to. It fell a good deal short of her usual light tone and the edges of her smile seemed a bit strained, but she was trying.
She knew, but things were still new enough to her that she wasn't used to just being able to ask and there he'd be. In truth, she hadn't wanted to burden him when she knew how bad his nights could be. The last thing she wanted to do was add to his own troubles.]
no subject
[He snorted an almost laugh and looked around the room.]
So where are we settling? Is it a working night or more leisurely?
[He wasn't about to suggest going back to sleep. That was entirely up to her.]
no subject
[She was almost smiling at the thought as she glanced around. She knew there was a small stack of papers on her desk that needed attention but the last thing she wanted to do was spend the rest of the night perched there while she worked. As nice as the other option sounded, she didn't know if it was wise. As it was, they all had a lot to do.
She could finish some reading in bed, though. Right then, a warm room, an even warmer Cullen and a soft bed sounded downright pleasant. Correspondence could wait until morning. For now, she'd settle in with her reports and her Commander and try to make the night a decent one.]
Both. I've got some reports to finish reading, but that can be done in bed. You're always welcome to join me if you like. I'd offer something a bit more... fun, but I don't think I'd be up for it tonight.
no subject
[He nodded and began circling to the other side of the bed to help straighten out the bed clothes.]
I'm not sure I'd be up for that, myself. I didn't have a bad night. I am tired, though.
[He wasn't afraid to admit it to her. He liked to think they were past trying to put up fronts with one another about the simpler complaints.]
no subject
[She let her gaze follow him for a moment. Even now, she found herself still just watching him. It was silly, really. She just couldn't help it at times.
Clearing her throat, she headed to the desk to pick up a few things from the top of the pile, pausing for just a moment to trace her fingers over a half-written letter. That was all the thought she'd give it for now, though. Things like that could be left for tomorrow.]
It's a shame, though. You've spoiled me for other men.
no subject
[She didn't need to be actively malicious to do harm with her curiosity.
He shook the blankets out and had them mostly straightened by the time she reached the desk. The undersheet was still a mess. There was less he could do about that alone.]
I'm not sure I'd say that's a shame.
[There was teasing in his voice although the sentiment was a bit more serious. He didn't like to think of her with others. He never saw himself with others. The very thought of it felt beyond him.]
no subject
Papers in hand, she moved back to the bed, already reaching down to help him settle the last bit of the bedding she'd torn up earlier.]
Ah. Don't misunderstand me. It's a shame we're both too worn out to indulge.
no subject
[Simplistic perhaps and almost certainly overly optimistic. He didn't care. He liked his fantasies, and they served a purpose. They continued to give him something to look forward to beyond more fighting and stress.
He flipped the covers back, kicked his boots off, and slipped between the sheets to get settled.]
no subject
She heard his boots settle heavy on the floor and paused as she'd been about to perch herself on the edge of the bed.]
... you wore your boots? Why didn't I hear you come in?
no subject
[Once settled, he flipped the covers back over his shoulder carelessly and turned on his side to face her.]
no subject
Still, it was hard to resist the idea of curling up with her Commander.
Smiling a little, she slid under the covers and propped herself up next to Cullen, reports in hand and trying to keep from getting distracted with him there beside her.]
... I wasn't too bad, was I?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)