bakerstreet | Look Past the Blood on Your Hands

Look Past the Blood on Your Hands

Red's in your ledger or you're making your way towards a crimson page by your very nature. Did you simply do what you had to do in order to survive? No one could understand how you lived. That could be just what you tell yourself, though; really, you might have enjoyed your crimes. You're not proud of some of what you've done, no matter what, and there's a part of you that will probably never heal.

If you were someone else looking in, you'd never be able to stand looking at you, much less stomach you.

But someone does all of that willingly. They can look past the blood on your hands and the bad decisions weighing on your shoulders. It's you they care about, not your history. Actually, they may even love you, though you can't begin to fathom why.

Comment with your character, preferences, and whether your character is the one with guilt or past sins or the one looking past all that.
Reply to others.
Have fun.

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[Buuuummer! I'm trying to bring my Zack Fair muse from FFVII, so I feel you about losing muses.

I can go with anything, really. I do like the idea of them opening up about their pasts, though. It might take a little nudging to get him to spill, but it could be possible. :D Or perhaps she hears him talking in his sleep?]

[Mmhmm, but if you bring a Zack Fair muse, feel free to throw him at Aqua. xD That's always a fun meeting.

I like Sousuke talking in his sleep, waking up Aqua to hear it and she wakes him up and they talk?

Would you like me to start?]

[Will do! I need to find time to replay Crisis Core.

And please! If you don't mind?]

[And remember to do squats!]

There were nights when Aqua found herself waking up in a cold sweat, gripping the sheets tightly with her heart ready to burst out of her chest. As peaceful of a day she might have had, it did little to keep some of her nightmares at bay. There were skeletons in her closet that she could not bring herself to talk about, especially to Sasuke. As much as she cared for him, there were parts of herself she didn't want him to see yet. Fearful it might change the way he saw her.

Whenever she did have those nights, he woke up said nothing and silently comforted her until she fell back asleep in his arms.

Tonight, she woke up not from her own nightmares, but from hearing someone else talking. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the darkness of their room. Slowly, she rolled over, listening to what names and words fell from his lips. He was having a restless sleep and she was torn over what to do. Part of her hoped he would stop and snap himself out of it. Yet, as the minutes ticked on and she heard more...she had to wake him up. Aqua reached out to him, gently placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Sasuke....Sasuke, wake up...its just a dream..."

Edited 2015-02-07 03:20 (UTC)

[How could I forget?]

They all had their demons, ones that clung to their backs day in and day out, hidden in the shadows of daily activities. Sasuke didn't talk about his; there wasn't a point to share what he had done, no reason to discuss about what were his own milestones to wear. Privacy was a virtue stamped in his skin and in his eyes. Even time spent with Aqua, nights spent alongside her, tangled up around her, hadn't broken that barrier, the walls tall and at times, insurmountable.

But even he had to sleep, and he couldn't keep the bricks in place when there was no one to guard them. Vulnerable, he didn't realize that he spoke when he was out like this, that glimpses into his past were visible through slumbering words and thrashing he didn't allow himself when he was awake. It was always the same thing, though: his brother standing over his parents' bodies, the fresh blood dripping off the tip of his sword. Fast forward to fighting Naruto at the valley. Forward again to standing over his brother's broken body as the rain started, every cruel event marked by water, then stillness, the loneliness of finally having nothing, no one but ghosts.

He murmured his brother's name. Twitched, then growled it. Finally yelled it as he panted helplessly. Was her touch that woke him? Her words? Or was it the sound of his own voice that did it? The way his heart slammed in his chest and threatened to shatter the ribs that housed it? Was it everything?

Red eyes stared up at the ceiling as he laid there, gasping, unsure where he was. Dreams and reality blurred the world.

They both shared the displeasure of losing someone. Having precious family and friends slip through their grasp. There were times when Aqua spoke about her past, but never in depth. She has a father figure, two best friends she considered brothers and that she had once traveled. Anything else beyond that she kept bottled up. No one needed to know the loss she endured or what she did to escape her fate. She didn't sant to burden Sasuke with her demons.

When it came to his, she didn't ask or pry. If and when he wanted to tall about it, she would be here ready and willing to listen.

The bluenette was startled by his words coming out as a growl then he'll. She didn't flinch or pull away. Instead she shook his shoulder hoping the act would wake him up. Whether it was her touch or their words, Sasuke was awake. For a long second Aqua said nothing, giving her bedmate the chance to compose himsf before she initiated contact. After that second passed, she scooted closer to him, bringing her hand up to lightly rest on his cheek and to turn his head to look at her.

Concern and worry were in her blue eyes. There was no comforting smile on her lips, only a worrisome expression.

"You were having a nightmare." She whispered, thumb brushing over his cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Sensations came back to him in time; the reality of this place, of the smell of the air and the feel of that hand against his skin grounded him in where he needed to be. Here. In bed. Beside her.

He let her hand guide his face, finally staring back into her blue eyes. Someone else he had once known had blue eyes like that, ones that worried about him in the same way she had. It wasn't something he talked about. Tonight might not be any different.

Initial reactions were always the same in these scenarios: build a wall and pull back, giving himself space to recalculate, readjust, reconfigure. Tonight, he didn't have that chance, not with her gaze on him, her hand on his face, the touch igniting and reminding him that someone else was involved now, someone cared. His fingers twitched, but he didn't move away.

"No." Because he didn't want to talk about it. He never wanted to talk about it, leaving it to linger and fester under the surface like a wound, infected with the hate he felt.

"It was nothing."

Aqua had to bite her tongue from speaking out. Her automatic reply would have been, 'it doesn't sound like nothing' but she kept those words from leaving her lips. Instead, she let her hand stay where it was on his cheek and thought of a better reply. She was watching him put up each brick back into place, putting up the wall that divided them.

There was a shake of her head, pulling her hand back to lay it down on his side. As much as she wanted to move closer to hold him, it might cause him to pull away. She stayed quiet for a moment to collect her thoughts.

"...it may not seem like nothing, but you were talking in your sleep. I don't know what you were saying, but I know you said the name Itachi."

In these states, everything caused him to pull away. Words, looks, touches, he was a skittish creature that put the bricks to keep the love out. It was habit. It was necessary. It was vital.

But knowing that he said his name, knowing it dropped from his lips like water when he was unconscious and helpless to stop it, that just made him feel more vulnerable than was comfortable with. So, she heard it. And she knew it was a name. And if he could assume correctly, if he didn't tell her, she might go investigating. At least now, he could control what she found out, isolate the damage.

He rolled away, not far, but just onto his back. Eyes watched the ceiling as he took a deep breath and tried to measure the words he wanted to say, the way he wanted to say them.

"Itachi." He stopped, tasting the word on his tongue in a way he hadn't in months. He missed it.

"He was my brother."

Aqua would not have gone investigating a name that was muttered in his sleep. A name that seemed like it brought more pain than anything else. Regardless if it was male or female, she wouldn't go digging around into Sasuke's past. He didn't do that with her and she owed him the same respect. She watched him roll onto his back, half expecting him to tuck the name under the rug and never speak of it again or just stay silent until both of them fell back asleep.

Instead, he explained who the name belonged to. hearing it belonged to his brother made her heart ache for him. Itachi was Sasuke's brother.

"I'm sorry..." it felt like the only thing she could say to the situation. Offer her condolences for his loss, for his nightmare and for being unable to do anything else.

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Look Past the Blood on Your Hands

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