bakerstreet | The Epic Rap Battles of Roleplay Meme

The Epic Rap Battles of Roleplay Meme

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF ROLEPLAY MEME

So Epic Rap Battles of History are an awesome idea, but even though they do cover fictional characters from time to time, there's gonna be plenty they'll never touch.

So that's where this meme comes in.

1. Put your character's name and series in the subject line.
2. Tag around!
3. Your characters are now engaged in a RAP BATTLE. Go nuts. If you don't know what to do, check out some of the ones in the above link for examples.
4. Have fun, damn it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[HE DID NOT JUST- HE IS SO DEAD. AGAIN.]

I guess you didn't hear about Kiyomi's little scrape,
After all that fire she wasn't in such good shape.
Poor thing killed your cronies just to get burned,
For someone so brainy she just never learned.

[Tempted as she is to keep going at Takada, must get topic back to L.]

"Fiance's" what I call the man who asked for my hand,
Try not to get too jealous things went just as I planned.
You might have got one grab in but Light got it all,
We had such a magic night after you took a fall.
Too bad you never got to know what that's all about,
Since I know you died a virgin, without a doubt.

Edited 2015-01-28 22:50 (UTC)

...

See, this is more in line with what I expect from you,
Rest assured, I'll still have my cake and eat yours, too.
You might have had more sex, I'll give you that,
But I'm breaking laws of physics by never, ever getting fat.
I'm turning you down like you do your own dessert,
So brace yourself, darling, because this is going to fucking hurt.

I heard about the business that Kiyomi wound up going through,
Set on fire? So she's definitely hotter than you.
Bitch, you can't out-vicious the delicious and suspicious
Sleuth, who beats off while beating gods who think they're being surreptitious.
I could go over every single one of Kira's sins
But face it,
We both know
Who's going to win.

Edited (Rhythm) 2015-01-29 00:18 (UTC)

[Somehow the most offensive thing about that was being called Darling by L. That is her pet name for Light how dare you corrupt it. Time to turn the viciousness up to 11.]

You're talking to the queen, bitch, have some respect,
I'm the goddess to your ghost and you're about to get checked.
I'm the pretty, thin idol creeps like you beat off to,
Glossy magazine cover-girl who looks right through you.
You were never on our level, just a washed up has-been,
All bark and no bite, and my patience's wearing thin.

Little loser scared to death of my BFF,
Rapping so off key you've gotta be deaf!
Died for absolutely nothing with a stroke of Rem's pen,
Lookin' winded, better give your heart a break and take ten.
'Cause you and Kiyomi are six feet underground,
While I'm up here Kira-ing without a foe to be found.

It's kind of you to worry but I'm stronger than I look,
Even if you happen to have a cheap-ass magic notebook.
You're certainly attractive, that I won't deny,
But when it comes to beating off, I'm a complicated guy.
Your rhymes are basic like a jacket by North Face,
It's not that you're ugly, you're just grating as a can of mace.
I keep looking for mosquitoes every time I hear you speak,
Off-key? Can't you do something about that high-pitched squeak?
I'm here to tell you that you're all but destined to fail,
Valentine's Day is coming, watch out for that
guard
rail.

If you can't find your foes, that's not really a surprise,
They're definitely there, and they're experts at disguise.
You're clearly wearing down, girl you can't handle more
Because you may have won some battles, but you
lost
the
war.

[Glaring. You know what, it's time to remind L why goading Kiras is a bad idea, and to prove that she is far from losing the war.]

Talk all you want, I'm the one that's still breathing.
In fact, I think it's about time for you to be leaving.

[Whipping out the Death Note.]

When it comes down to it, you're as low as they get.
By the way, what kind of name is L Lawliet?

[DRAMATIC SCRIBBLING BEGINS.]

If you're going to say it, at least pronounce it right.
Word of God is that you say it like "low-light".
Another reminder that we had a lot in common perhaps,
All this proves is that you're afraid of my raps.
I'm the giant whose shoulders people stood on top of,
And the fact is? My legacy will outlive your "love."
Write the name if you really want to be done,
But I'm warning you,
You'll be confessing
That
I
Won.

[Misa finishes writing. If only she could think of an appropriately awful way to go, but her mind is too full of rhymes to puzzle that out so heart attack it is.]

Wrong, and you're about to take a dive.
The winner is always the last one alive.
Low-Light is perfect since you're second best,
You were never Ligh't great enemy-- just a pest.
Your legacy is losing to a god from above,
And nothing will ever outlive my love.

40 seconds to live? Guess I'd better make it count,
Good thing my successors heard my Sermon on the Mount.
Everybody dies, but just a few get to hear the bell,
I get the last word, bitch, see you in Hell.

You won't be seeing m- [L slumps over, breaking her rhythm.] Hey- L? Damn it!

[Misa pouts and nudges at his body with her shoe. He could have lasted a few more seconds! Fine, he gets the last word then. Misa still wins.]