bakerstreet | Hatesex Meme

Hatesex Meme

hatesex meme

Somehow you've come to hate this person, but the UST is still magnetizing. This is the place to get all that hate out while getting dirty.

•Post your character
•Post your prefs
•Tag around, scenarios optional

1. Argument: No matter how you two are normally, you've recently gotten into an argument and it's only set things off.

2. Competitors: You are after the same thing, whether you're in the bag game against one another, the bar league's softball team or bowling.

3. BDSM: The kinky option. You two are actually fine with one another, but fucking the hell out of one another just does it for you.

4. Romeo + Juliet: Opposite sides of a warring faction. Your family killed mine. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of everything. Let's just fuck because I hate you.

5. Coworkers: Like competitors, you are generally after the same thing. There is a sense of one-upmanship. And yet you are probably attracted to them because they are so much like you.

6. Physicality: You are actually in a fist fight or have been (feel free to play that out or not), and it either turns sexual or you just haven't gotten all the UST out, yet.

7. Fuck it: Free for all/ make up your own. You hate them. There's this wall. Have at it

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{ooc: Open to cross-canon, cross-medium and assumed cr. Open to both F/M and F/F for this meme. Willing to set up the scenario, just ask}

ooc: I literally don't know how or why, but would Deb like a pirate? LOL. I can swing him AU so they could have met, maybe a terrible neighbor or something...?

{ooc: Oh I'm sure we can just go with the flow, that's how cross-canon works. But yeah, AUing him up a little bit would make things a little easier. Terrible neighbor sounds like it will work well to me. Get ready for lots of swearing.}

[ so, try as he might? Captain Hook doesn't blend perfectly into modern society. so screw him, you know, he's doing the best he can. doesn't help that he's decided to move into the same building as a bloody guard (guard, cop, detective... all the same to him), though; especially when he might be making ends meet by an occasional (emphasis on!) game of loaded dice or fixed cards. compared to the things he got up to in the Enchanted Forest, it's literally child's play, but by modern standards also very illegal.

everything in modern times are illegal, seems like.

he'd have been smart to pull the charm on her, but their first meeting had something to do with loud television and he was pretty drunk (he couldn't sleep, but apparently playing his television so high it could wake the dead meant she couldn't either) and well it's just never improved.

so when an alarm suddenly starts ringing out in his apartment, he knows if he doesn't get it off in short order she'll be there guns blazing. only, well, he doesn't know what a fire alarm is so even when he finds the damn thing he doesn't know how to shut it off. it was pure coincidence that throwing the thing against the wall popped the batteries out, and the suspect burned toast responsible glares at him from the toaster. it's been at least ten minutes of screeching and he can barely hear his own thoughts, but oh, he hears the thunderous knock on the door.

so his mood is less than sterling when he throws the door open, looking like he's set on homicide.] Can I help you? Oh, wait, no, I can't. You're impossible to please. [ he doesn't even have to guess. he knows who is on the other side. ]

[Deb had thought that this apartment would be a much better idea than taking that beach house where that couple were murdered. It was closer to the station and it was close to Dexter and Harrison so she could visit her big brother and nephew whenever she wanted to...except she hadn't actually had much free time for that lately. Walking into her apartment that evening after work she made a mental note that she had to go and see Harrison some time soon. But honestly as soon as she had moved into this place she had wished she’d taken the beach house. Well, there was no going back on her decision now, she had already paid the first six months’ rent in full and she was now under contract with the landlord. Which was just perfect considering her very loud and very obnoxious new neighbour.

She wasn’t sure she’d met anyone so rude and so inconsiderate in her life. And that was saying something considering her profession. Becoming the Lieutenant of Homicide recently had put a shit ton of stress and responsibility on her shoulders and she wasn’t coping with it well. Having clashes with her new neighbour didn’t help with her stress. As she got in that evening with armfuls full of paperwork to do before the briefing tomorrow morning she hoped tonight would be a quiet one. Please god. She couldn’t get any work done in her new office, it felt too weird so she ended up bringing her work home with her.

She had just sat down to her pile of paperwork with a beer when she heard the fire alarm going off. She didn’t even have to guess who’s flat that sound was going from. She set down her pen with a loud sigh, cradling her head in her hands] ….You have got to be fucking kidding me. What did he wait just until I got home to set the fucking thing off?

[She tried hard to calm herself and to keep her cool but ten minutes later she lost it. She couldn’t concentrate with that noise going on and there was no way to block it out. She left her apartment and banged on his door. She didn’t even let him speak as he opened it and she ended up talking over him.]

What the fuck is going on in here? Turn that thing off! Or I swear to fucking Christ I will not be responsible for my actions. I’m trying to work. [And then she hears what he said. She places a hand on his door frame, leaning in towards him] Impossible to please? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re the impossible one here, not me.

[ if she thinks she's going mad, she should try being in the same room with the screeching thing. he's been trying to make the noise stop, it's not like he's been sitting in here were the screeching — gods, he's not even sure what it is, why does he need a strange circular device that occasionally flashes and shrieks at him? — thing having a laugh because he knew it'd bother her. the noise has been just as terrible for him, honestly more, and he didn't need her to storm across the hall to point out it's loud.

he knows.

admitting that he doesn't know how to turn off the fire alarm would be foolish. he tries to play off his ignorance with modern things with plenty of excuses, trying to avoid those unsettled looks when he doesn't know something that by modern standards he should. he's going to bust the thing against the wall until it stops making noises, he's done that to enough alarm clocks to know it works.

what is going on? a very loud noise, did she really need to ask? his eyes narrow and he looked downright dangerous, and yet his ever so charming neighbor never seemed to find his rage terribly intimidating. he barks a short and very sarcastic laugh at the idea he's the impossible one. ]

Yes, you're impossible to please, and yet you constantly wander over expecting me to try. Look, I'm bloody working on it, sweetheart, so sod off would you?

[ generally he isn't so crass around a lady, but honestly she drives him a bit batty. she seems to think he's made the life choice to bother her, and he's got better things to do. ]

[She just can’t understand why the hell he had sat in his apartment for a whole ten minutes without being able to turn the fire alarm off. Everyone in the building had the exact same four digit code which was used to silence their alarms. Clearly he didn’t know what it was or he would have turned it off by now. Deb hadn’t known him for long but she knew that he was stubborn and that he would never admit to the fact he didn’t know how to turn it off. Which just frustrated her even more. She was under enough stress at work at the moment, she didn’t need this too.

Busting the alarm really wasn’t going to work and Deb was trying very hard to resist the urge to push past him into his apartment and sort the thing out herself. She can’t be the only one frustrated by the sound. His expression did look dangerous, Deb couldn’t deny that, she’s seen the look plenty of times before. But she had also seen a lot worse. She used to be engaged to serial killer after all, she can handle a pissed off neighbour although she still thinks she has more of a right to be pissed off than he does. Deb would be shouting under normal circumstances but they have to raise their voices even more to be heard over the racket of the fire alarm.]

Don’t call me sweetheart. [She doesn’t even like people that she knows well calling her by pet names] And clearly you don’t have it under control because that fucking thing has been going off for fifteen minutes now. How long does it take to type in a four digit code for fuck’s sake?

[Right. He didn’t know what the code was. Obviously. She sighs in an over dramatic way and she uses her arm to push him aside, or at least try to (she’s stronger than she looks) to get past him and into the apartment] I know what the code is. If you won’t shut the fucking thing off I will.

[ one could take the pirate out of the past but one couldn't just suddenly transplant sudden understanding of a modern world into a pirate. oh he did his best to integrate, it was a matter of necessity. nobody would believe that he'd been in a different world, one without electricity or alarms when you singed your toast, and he'd look mad if he tried to explain. he already had enough trouble existing in a modern world — one where he didn't technically exist to any of the systems. it was expensive to buy fake identification, and he knew if push ever came to shove, it wasn't exactly solid. he needed to avoid ever having to prove who he was...

which made living in the same building as law enforcement rather intimidating.

it was true, he had no idea how to make the ringing stop. the code was likely on the lease he'd signed, but he hadn't made sense of it when he read it and had promptly forgotten about it. he was a proud soul, that was certain, often trying to do things himself no matter how difficult it was. he'd had centuries of practice figuring things out, and some things were quite difficult when he only had one hand. usually he found the way if he spent long enough trying. it was just in this particular instance he had witnesses to how slow it could be for him to sort things on his own.

he was well aware that she didn't like it when he used petnames, which was half of why he tossed them at her. he used them in general conversation, they could even be said with a degree of fondness with people he liked, but he wasn't above pissing her off just for the sake of it. especially when she pushed past him and into his apartment like she bloody owned the place. he glared after her, kicking the door shut just to punctuate his annoyance, not necessarily to make her feel trapped. ]

Right, well why don't you come in then, your majesty. You know trespassing is illegal, don't you? I should bloody hope so. [ considering her occupation and everything... he has no idea what she's on about with the code, but at this point he just wants the damn noise done, and to get her out of his hair, so he doesn't stand in the way, but he does follow after her.

(both to be a nuisance, and maybe because if he sees her turn it off, he'll know how to do it next time.) ]

{Of course if he ever let any of that slip out, about his pirate past she would think that he was absolutely bat shit insane and she would definitely feel the need to call for professional help. She wasn't exactly an expert on how to deal with people who were pirates in a past life...not that she really had any respect for shrinks either. She was currently having one forced on her and she was definitely not enjoying any of it. Talking about her feelings and shit? That was her idea of a nightmare and only something she ever did with her brother of a steak and a couple of beers. Maybe if he didn't want to ever prove who he was he should stop doing dodgy and illegal shit then.

Not that setting a fire alarm off in the middle of the evening falls under the category of 'illegal shit' which Is obviously the technical term she uses all the time...

Pet names made her cringe and shudder but it seemed when it came to this guy they were something that she was just going to have to get used to. She was sure the fact that she reacted so negatively towards them was the reason he kept insisting on using them but then again maybe he just used them on everyone. Whatever it was, she wasn't fond of it. She made her way over to the alarm box with another loud sigh which was just audible over the alarm. She opened the door of the box to reveal the number pad and she typed in the numbers '2 8 6 3' in that order and then pressed the 'SILENCE' button. Finally the alarm stopped and she sighed again but this time in relief. She could finally hear again although there was definitely a ringing in her ears.}

It's hardly trespassing if you just stepped aside and let me in. And it was that fucking easy. Two seconds. 2863. Do you need me to write it down for you?

{Her tone was mocking and condescending and the look on his face wasn't getting any more friendly but she couldn't help herself. She had to push it further.}

Next time stop being so fucking stubborn and ask for some help. Don't let the alarm go off for fifteen minutes. You could have called the fucking landlord.

[ yes, it was very simple for someone who understood how the alarm worked. it was his first go at them and though he couldn't point that out, it wasn't as easy as she made it sound. the thing making the noise was in an entirely different room. common sense had told him the way to make it stop would have been where the sound originated, but that was apparently incorrect. in the Enchanted Forest, unearthly sounds were never a problem, he'd been doing his best to stop it on his own.

fact was, she was right. he should have called and asked someone. sacrifice a bit of pride to save him a little misery. except even before he'd arrived in a world he barely understood, he'd been too proud to ask for help. it'd been a long few months after he'd lost his hand as he learned to do everything differently, but it'd taught him to be independent. it'd worked out in that instance, but often times it didn't since his arrival in the World Without Magic, he just didn't want to expose his ignorance so obviously and in the end was just making it worse.

no, his expression wasn't getting any warmer. it was bad enough that he had been found out for not knowing something that was so bloody simple. her insistence on pressing his buttons and mocking him was not helping his mood, and it was certainly not a good idea to throw her against a wall in his frustration, but gods it was tempting. anger and frustration had a funny way of feeling so similar to desire. did he want to throw her against the wall to hiss at her or for something else? if he was more self aware he would have tried to calm down, instead of pushing closer into her space with pale eyes narrow. ]

And deprive you of a chance to come round and act superior? Now that'd just be fucking cruel, wouldn't it? [ the pirate actually didn't swear terribly often, maybe she was rubbing off on him. considering she had the mouth of a sailor, ironically she swore more than the captain himself. ] I'm starting to think you'll take any excuse to come round. If I didn't know better I'd think you had a bit of a crush. [ two could play at the condescending dick game. he didn't think she had a thing for him, he thought she had a short temper and thought lighting him up was going to get her what she wanted (it rarely did). he was just trying to be an ass. ]

{Yes, Deb like most people in her position takes her life for granted. She can't quite fathom how someone wouldnt be able to understand how a fire alarm works or how to use an alarm clock. They were things that had just become natural to her in everyday life, common knowledge that everyone she knew about. Of course that was very narrow minded of her. There were plenty of unfortunate people on this planet who wouldn't even know what an alarm clock was but he hadn't seemed like one of those people. He could afford to live in this apartment building after all..however he got his money. She wasn't quite sure that she wanted to know.

Ohhh, he didn't like the teasing did he? Deb couldn't resist the way her lips curved up into the smallest of smiles as she heard him swear. There was just something in the way he said that word that came out of her mouth so often but she wasn't entirely sure what it was. Perhaps she shouldn't have mocked him. She was angry at him and with his next words she could feel her anger rising even more. It was laughable. Her? Fancy him? ...Okay sure he wasn't the most horrible looking man in the world. In fact he was quite attractive and she'd admit to that if she didn't feel the urge to ~~kiss him~~ punch him in the face right now. If only to wipe that look off of his face.

She can't help but laugh a little before she speaks but it comes out more of a scoff. She's also not fond of the fact that he's invading her personal space and she backs up as much as she can away from him.}

Fuck. You. Really? You think that I've got a fucking crush on you? Don't flatter yourself. I wouldn't touch you, trust me. Maybe it's you that's making the excuses to see me around here. You knew how to turn that thing off this whole time didn't you? You just wanted to get me into your apartment. {She places the palms of her hands on his chest to push him away from her} And have you ever heard of personal space? Back the fuck off.

[ no, he's not terrible looking. if he's got anything going for him, it's his appearance. Killian Jones has always wagered on women being attracted to him, and he's rarely wrong. his personality might leave a lot to be desired at times, but he was quite attractive and that got him quite far in life. now, he didn't think that Deb found him so appealing that she'd really waltz down just for a chance to see him, he wasn't that arrogant. he just implied it to piss her off and by the looks of it, it was working. he doesn't back up at her command, moving in even closer. ]

That's rich, the woman that invited herself into my apartment complaining about disrespecting personal space. [ wouldn't touch him? she already had to shove past him, and she was more than strong enough to remove him if she didn't want him there. she'd already proven she's strong enough to move him if she wants to and yet when her hands land on his chest, she doesn't shove him back. oh he's pushing into dangerous territory and he knows it, and yet he'd always been one to tempt fate. ]

Take your own bloody advice, darling. You've been riding me since I got here and you've been doing it in the most unenjoyable of ways. [ his hand curls around her wrist, maybe to wrench her off only he doesn't. her heartbeat is a wild song under his thumb and christ he hates her but now that he's gotten the image in his head he can't get it out. all the ways she could ride him that would be far superior than her running over to bitch at him whenever she had the chance. ] Trust me, gorgeous, I didn't nearly deafen myself hoping you'd run over and finish the job, and yet here you are.

{Deb didn't exactly think of herself as an attractive woman. I mean she knew that she wasn't horrible looking. She got hit on inappropriately plenty of times on the job and if Masuka didn't make a dirty joke pointed in her direction every day she would think that there was something wrong with him. But she didn't dress up, she didn't wear dresses. Maybe it's the fact she works in a male dominated profession. She's always seen herself as one of the guys and dresses herself accordingly. As Killian moved closer she backed up a little more until her back hit off of the wall and she winced a little. Well, there's is certainly getting a little too close for comfort.

Why isn't she shoving him away? She should be shoving him away right now. But she isn't. Instead she's keeping eye contact with him, a look of disgust and annoyance on her face...at least that's what she hopes her face shows. Her eyes on the other hand might show him something different. Attraction. Eyes don't lie.} Did I back you into a fucking corner? No. That's you.

I-- {Did he just say riding. For a moment her cheeks flush but if it's because of her anger or the images that word had just conjured in her mind, who knows. And then he grabs her wrist. She tries to pull it away but with her back against the wall she doesn't have much room for that. Hell, maybe she doesn't want him to let go. She leans her head in closer to him as she responds.} Get your hand off me. Do you want a punch in the face? Or maybe I'll knee you in the place it'll hurt the most. What do you think of that? Maybe you'll stop with your fucking smart-ass comments then.

[ well, not that she'd asked, and not that he was inclined to be complimentary considering their general tendencies around each other, Hook found her quite attractive. skirts and lace were not needed to make a woman beautiful, in his opinion. in fact, Deb was really his exact type — strong, smart, independent, not afraid to state her opinion and take control. all wonderful things, except when they pissed him off so badly. he liked women that weren't afraid to put him in his place, the problem seemed to be Deb was always trying to put him in his place and he did have a bit of pride to struggle with. he found her quite attractive indeed, which made her tendency to come by just to demean and aggravate him even more frustrating.

it was true, eyes didn't lie. hers didn't hide attraction and his didn't either. he looked annoyed, incensed really, and he was. the woman drove him absolutely mad and never seemed to have enough, constantly running in to make it worse whenever she had the chance. he didn't exist to annoy her. he didn't function intentionally to piss her off. most people would let little mistakes go, and yes he made them frequently, he was human and he was trying to integrate into a world he barely understood, and she was always there to call him out the second he slipped and it was frustrating... and a bit terrifying, if he was honest. sure he could just pick up, disappear, go somewhere else... but that was almost like failing, now wasn't it?

she was full of plenty of threats. honestly, her being attracted to him didn't mean she wouldn't punch him or give him a well placed knee. in fact, Deb seemed pretty firm on disliking him, attracted or not. it seemed far more likely that she'd lash out than tolerate him getting too close. and yet she already was and he kept pushing the line. there was at least a bit of distance between them, still, but as he takes the one last step there's none left. he's not pressing against her but he's close enough that he can smell her, they're sharing breaths and gods he's really not thinking clearly anymore. ]

If you wanted me to stop I'd be on the floor already, and we both know it. [ he knows how strong she is, and he's no weakling either but he doubts that he'd gotten half as far as he had if she didn't want him to. he's a pain in the ass, but he's not a rapist, he won't force himself on her. ] You know what I think? You want me to touch you. [ she's nearly crackling with frustration, it's hard not to notice when she's so insistent on running over and bothering him the second she has opportunity. it's likely some other stress is making her more reactive, and while it's not entirely personal it certainly is aggravating to be on the receiving end of all the frustration. ] You could punch me if you liked but I think we both know there's a better way to deal with this frustration.

{It seemed Deb didn't have a type when it came to men...no, that wasn't true. She did. She had a tendency to attract men who were bad news. Men who were no good for her, even if she didn't realise it at the time. The Ice Truck Killer, a man who was old enough to be her father who she subsequently watched die in front of her and her work partner who not that long ago had proposed to her and she let him down. In fact she still had the engagement ring up in her apartment somewhere, locked in a drawer and forgotten about. Was Killian another man who wasn't any good for her. Probably. Did she care about that right now? Not for a second.

The more he frustrated her, the more she just wanted to pull him closer to her. She was pretty good at reading people's body language and signs, it was all part of her job. The fact that Killian was moving closer to her instead of backing away from her threats told her pretty much all she needed to know. One look into his eyes confirmed it. He was as frustrated with her as much as she was frustrated with him but there was the same need there, the same desire in his eyes. Everyone made mistakes, herself included. In fact, she was making a hell of a lot of mistakes recently. Unfortunately for him he made his mistakes more obvious to her. She needed someone to vent her frustration out on and he always seemed to be the perfect candidate. He just made it so easy for her.

Her lips do curve up slightly as he acknowledges her strength.}

At least you'll admit to it. That's more than many men would do. Most of them get a fucking shock when they realise I'm not a helpless woman who can't take care of herself. {Her breathing was getting considerably faster as he moved closer to her. They were almost touching bodies now, only a few inches between them. One movement and there would be contact. She could feel the heat of his body radiating against hers and it made her want to feel more. There are so many things she could say in response. So many digs she could give back to him....but she doesn't. He's talking too much, both of them are talking too much. She closes the gap quickly and presses her lips against his. It was as easy as that. That stopped him talking at least.} Oh, just shut the fuck up.

[ no, Captain Hook probably wasn't good for her. that just went without saying. maybe she did have a type. but he didn't have to be good for her, he doubted either of them was looking for more in this moment than what it was. they weren't going to run away together, start going steady or any other such nonsense. he doubted that it'd even change anything. the next time he bothered her, no doubt she'd run over to give him a piece of her mind. it wasn't going to change anything, it just might give them some satisfaction in the moment.

she wasn't the only one frustrated. their shouting matches never did much for his temperament, just left him angry and riled up with no place for all the energy to go. existing like a ghost in a world he barely knew was a frustrating condition, too. and quite lonely, if he allowed himself to be honest (and he never would). they didn't have to like each other to want each other, clearly, and it might be good for both of them. and easily forgotten once it was over.

though the magnetic chemistry that seemed nearly crackling between them didn't seem like something that would be easy to forget. his mind would find this moment again, especially if she came back to pick a fight, but at the moment he couldn't be bothered to care.

Deb might learn that if she wants him to shut up, well, shouting doesn't work. kissing him, well, yes. that does. it's only coincidence that he follows her command, but after their lips touch he's really not thinking about a clever follow up or continued conversation. he doesn't leave the space between them anymore, pressing against her and against the wall to kiss her again. heated and a little bit angry, yes, but needy and wanting too. he's not ashamed to want her, and the hand she might not have realized was fake pressed at her hip to draw her closer. ]

{Well, if that was what she was looking for, a serious relationship, then she certainly wouldn't be looking in Killian's direction. She would still be with Quinn right now if that's what she wanted. In fact, she'd probably be engaged to him right about now. This was just a heat of the moment thing. The anger and emotion that was building up inside of her had to be released one way or another and what better way to be released than this. After this happened she wasn't going to be distracted byy her work, she wasn't going to constantly think about him. No, she was determined that he wasn't going to be another distraction. This would be good for her. It would help her feel...normal again. Or maybe that's a lie and images of what's about to happen are going to consume her mind for days to come. Right now she didn't care either way.

She's more than glad that he doesn't talk once she's pressed her lips against his and told him to shut up. It would be like him to say something just to irritate her and defy her words. But instead he's pressed her against the wall and his lips against hers. Yes, she much prefers this to the talking. Her own kiss is full of anger but there is passion there too as she wraps her arms around her neck. Just because they're kissing doesn't mean that she's not still angry with him and she shows that by taking his bottom lip between her teeth and nipping at it. Her fingertips also curl around the hair at the back of his neck as she presses her own body back against his.

No, she hadn't noticed the fake hand. Her and fake body parts don't have the best history what with the Ice Truck Killers profession and it does take her aback a little as she felt something not quite hand like pressed against her hip. She does gasp a little against his lips but that could easily be mistaken as a sound of pleasure considering what's happening or in anticipation of what's about to happen. She can ignore it for now and she does so.}

[ yes, it would be exactly like him to try and snark through the moment just to make a point. if he had the capacity to do so, he certainly would. at the moment, though, he has much better things to do with his mouth and his tongue and she can celebrate that he's shut up for at least five minutes.

she takes his lip in hers in a bit of a snarl, and the pirate can't help but enjoy it. he always did enjoy a bit of sharpness in sex. he hadn't had soft and ginger in centuries, he likely wouldn't know what to do with it anymore. now it was just blind need and want and that always translated easily.

it could have been easy to lose in the moment, yes. but Killian Jones is used to people being unsettled and uncertain because of his missing hand. she might have been content to ignore it, but he can't help but notice. as long as she doesn't assume he can't function without it, there's no reason to stop.

her body is flush with his and he presses them both against the wall. the kiss is almost more like a fight, and he's quite determined to win, but the heat of it pulls sensation through his entire body. he's always been a little too bold for his own good, thumb running the sharp bone of her hip and over the line of skin above her jeans. however long the moment is going to be, he's going to enjoy it. ]

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Hatesex Meme

Debra Morgan | Dexter | OPEN

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6 - lemme know if this doesn't work

It's perfect!

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