Rin Tohsaka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
servantfail) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2015-01-19 04:40 pm
servantfail) wrote in bakerstreet2015-01-19 04:40 pm
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It isn't your fault that you have a dirty mind! It's natural! You could say you were born that way. Or, more likely, you developed it over time as you grew up through circumstances way beyond your control and totally not your fault.
Or it's totally your fault and you are not ashamed of being a pervert.
Or you actually don't usually have a dirty mind. Sometimes you see fake NSFW inkblots and only see a dolphin or a butterfly. Honestly!
Whatever the case may be, today your mind is absolutely incorrigible. Even if you're normally a shameless pervert that could turn anything into an innuendo (whether anyone else around you appreciates that talent or not), today you just can't help but do it. It doesn't even occur to you until after you think of it in a dirty way that it might actually be innocent. Which is probably going to be unfortunate for the impulsive of you out there.
But there's no helping it. Everything you run into, everyone you talk to, it's just...all sex.
The worst of it is, when you might finally think you have it under control? Actual sex comes up.
This meme has two modes! A not-so-smutty side, and a much more smutty side.
Option A: Your brain is just downright incorrigible. There's no reason for it, or maybe there is. Either way, that's just how your brain is working today. Nothing has to come of it, because it's not like the things are actually soliciting sex here, you just have a dirty, dirty mind today. Enjoy that, or run and hide under a mattress until it stops. Your choice.
Option B: The above holds true...right up until actual sex gets involved. Usually, it's just as absurd and ridiculous as your dirty mind, except for some reason a situation that should normally be perfectly fixable without sex of any kind suddenly has a sexual component. It's like you just woke up in a bad porn. Or a good one, if you like that kind of thing.
Option B prompts:
1: Arguing! Leads to sex! - Like a romcom with no shame, you've aggravated someone (probably the person you insist on interpreting everything into sex with) and this means arguments! Or a physical altercation! No matter how unlikely or minor this argument may be (or fierce and unfriendly) somehow this leads to sex. It just does. Yeah. So...take that.
2: Take me to, uh... - And then suddenly the person you were talking to is actually an ALIEN?? (or always was???) And for some reason your conversation is pivotal (hah! you know. pivot...) to alien-*coughcoughyourworld* relations. It all hangs on your sexual prowess, man. Do your best!
3: Wait--only four minutes?! - You were in the middle of a serious crisis. It's the end of the world. There's like a giant meteor on its way, or a power plant going up or something. Who knows. The point is? Suddenly! They need your strangely over-abundant sexual energy right now to save the world. Don't ask questions!! Sex! Now!
4: Not quite music - One of you is cursed! Maybe you, because of the sex thoughts...maybe not so much you because your friend there is transforming into something unpleasant. The point is, there's a time limit here, before a horrible curse will take hold of one of you. The only answer is the power of
5: I expect you to...die. A little - One of you is a spy! Or an assassin! Or a really dedicated detective. The other one, a villain. Or the hero. The point is, you're on opposing sides, and it's come to this: Sex as a weapon and a method of information extraction. You're prepared for this! (Or...not...) Go and do your thing! Mostly their thing, though.
6: SUSTENANCE. - It doesn't need to make sense. It really doesn't. It never will. Just bear with it: someone needs sexual energy to be energized. Maybe for a quick power up, maybe they need it to survive. The point is, this is not a matter to be taken lightly! Unless that's what you two are into... (Also possible: more physical interpretations involving sexual things sustaining people. figure that one out on your own. you're the one with the dirty mind, here.)
7: A sudden urge - There isn't even an excuse, honestly. Just that the dirty mind of yours has infected their pure and...not actually that pure mind. The point is, sex.
8: Mission Escape! - Whether it's a convoluted escape plan or literally what a piece of paper is telling you to do to escape somewhere, the sex is actually utilitarian. You gotta bang to get free. Hey, you didn't write the rules, you just follow them. Haplessly. Maybe a little enthusiastically, but whatever.
9: That exchange rate is tricky... - The sex-as-payment option. There isn't much to say here. Somehow you've ended up in a position wherein you want something, and to get it you're going to need to generate something else for that person. If you know what I mea--you do. Yeah. You do. This could be a situation you enter into willingly and knowingly, or it could be a bit more of an unpleasant (or pleasant, whoops) surprise. That's up to you.
10: SEX. IT'S SEX! - The wildcard option. Pick one of the above, or come up with some other absurd situation that for some reason requires sex.
Rules/steps/whatnot:
A: Post your characters. You know how. Name/canon/preferences.
B: Be sure to mention if you want the cleaner/awkward situation, or the awkwardly sexual situations. Or both. Whatever.
C: Be sure to include whatever important preferences/exceptions involve those!
D: You are the one with the dirty, dirty mind. People commenting to others are perfectly (mostly, considering...) normal. But if you like, both of you could be in the same boat. Up to you.
Rin Tohsaka | Fate Universe | OTA (M/F except castmates for smut things)
Ren | Hybrid Child (fandom OC) | m/m
Lucas Hood|| Banshee|| m/f
Kanojo | Houkago Play | F/F
Gabriel | Dominion | OTA
Ise Nanao | Bleach | m/f preferred