bakerstreet | The Crack Meme

The Crack Meme

THE CRACK MEME

LOL RANDUMB. ROFLCOPTER!!! SPOOOOOON!!! Let's don't be super serious for a little while. Tag around and get stupid for 2015. Use the prompts below or make up your own.

1: When Suddenly...

Your character is having a totally normal day when suddenly something WACKY happens.

2: So Serious It Hurts

The stupidest headcanon you ever thought up when you were thirteen: it is now true.

3: Jamjar Slice Of Life Hell

It would be so OOC for your character to have a tea party, but today's the day...

4: Sunken Ships

Mortal enemies are now best friends. Superwholocks are old married couples with Transformers. Anything can happen when you have the power of impossible assumed CR.

5: CAPSLOCK DRESSING ROOM

THREAD IS ALL CAPS AND MAKES NO SENSE EVER. USE MAXIMUM SPARKLETEXT FOR BEST EFFECT.

6: The Fourth Wall

Destroy it like Deadpool. Characters are aware that they are fictional and might even be experts in each other's canons.

7: LOL whatever idkmybfffanfic

Thread like your characters are in the worst ever fanfiction.net crossover epic.

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[Is there a more appropriate meme for this character? I suspect not.]

(Not the first time Naruto's been pulled into the past, right? Or maybe this time...)

( Crack? After all this time?

Forever. )

[If you haven't finished we can wait to eliminate spoiler risk.]

[ Veteran voice actor Severus Snape has been in the business for 27 years, and yet today is the very first time - a coup! - that he has agreed to act in a Boy's Love voice drama for the burgeoning English-speaking market.

He, who has acted the part of heroes, villains, gods, and monsters, is today reading for the role of 37 year old orchestra conductor Tad Bitte, who, driven by an earnest love of bel canto, is looking forward to conducting his first opera: Donizetti's Maria Stuarda. Two things threaten his debut: first off, he is the conductor for the Minneapolis Policeman's Orchestra, an organization which can at best be described as "for hobbyists"; second, the dazzling international tenor singing the role of Roberto, Earl of Leicester, is almost inhumanly beautiful... and too intelligent to be merely a singer.

Today's recording is intended to cover the dramatic fight that the two leads have on the night before the show. Snape intones, fatiguedly: ]

You've received everything you have asked for. The costumes, the scene cuts - my god, we even changed out the Maria for you. What more can I possibly, [ He says, rich with sarcasm. ] give you?

[ Richard is determined not to fuck this up. His manager told him at length this morning how very vital it was that Richard not fuck this up. A drama with Severus Snape could be his best chance at a big break - he might even be able to start landing more serious work than solo sessions with dummy head mics.

Of course, now that he's finally in the studio, he intends to learn everything he can by watching the master at work. He pays rapt attention to every word from Snape's mouth, where he pauses for breath, how he moves to keep the rustle of his clothes back from the mic. He tries so hard to watch without blinking (what if he missed something important?) that it takes him a beat to realize he's been given his cue.

Richard's mind goes abruptly and terrifyingly blank, and he scrambles to produce the line, glancing down at the sides in his hand. ]

Common dignity! The respect due a man of my talents! My own dressing room! You cannot expect me to expose myself before the entire cast, sir! I - am - a - [ Richard inhales, steeling himself for the blast. ] profressional!

[ Profressional. Good god, he wants to sink through the waxed floor.]

Cut

[ He howls concisely, glaring openly at Richard.

As the engineer in the booth gives them the all-clear sign, Severus grapples with his furrowed brow, and turns to his partner, whom he accosts immediately. ]

Profressional.

Very interesting, Mr. Papen. Tell me, do you practice your enunciation [ Each syllable pronounced with brutal clarity, Oxfordian polish ] by firring yawr morf furr or hurrmburrrgr? Or perhaps you could have the decency to keep up.

[ His white, pitiless expression is freezing in its contempt. He stares at Richard as if he expected he would have to change his diaper shortly.

His agent told him that this would be easy money. ]

[ Richard is was so proud of how far he'd come in the last few years. He'd worked so hard on muffling his California accent, finding the vowels that turned the flat valley rilly back into the really that God intended and getting a leash on his rising terminals.

And yet it's a slip like this that will do him in. This is it. He's going to die. Right here, right now. ]

Sorry about that. Ready.

[ He yells to the engineer, sure that any apology aimed at Snape will earn another load of steaming scorn dumped on his head. Richard straightens his dismal secondhand tie - he'd dressed up for this, his day with the famous actor - and delivers the line again, eyes fixed on a point over Snape's head. ]

[[Would discreet fourth walling be ok with you if these two met? (As in, she would know who you are and where you're from would be kept to herself) It could get interesting. She's seen all the Star Wars movies, when she used to be ordinary, but she's not all that geeky about it.

Thinking about it, I'm considering a combination of 1 and 6. She comes from this world in which just about anything can happen. Either she ends up in Anakin's world, or he ends up in her world. I'm good on either option!]]

[I'll PM you.]

[[All righty!

EDIT: I'll start this here.]]

Mari heavily sighed in both annoyance and relief as she made her summoned katana become ash--a lot of inactive and dead nanotech. "Damn Lessers," she muttered, "Finally got that one to shut up." She watched the dead headless, disturbingly grotesque monster disintegrate to nothingness. No more would this Lesser Guardian torment innocents, striking with the green lightning or chant to summon other uglies for backup. (Yes, it can chant without a friggin' head. Xel'lotath herself was colossal and defied all things natural and logical, same as her assortment of monster minions did.)

Lesser Guardians were not only high on the things that creeped her out, but they were also really annoying to fight. They always flew around in green light orb form before finding someplace distant to make time to do another spell chant.

Here's hoping Zack or 'Hassee got the other. Just as she was about to go to where she last saw her friends, she noticed someone she had not seen before. This town wasn't all that big to begin with. Being a long-time resident for about six years or so, Mari tended to know just about everyone that stayed in their homes, or hotel rooms.

Nexus never seemed to be picky or choosy on whoever it decided to pluck from their realities, for a time. This attractive young guy came prepared though.

She couldn't help but stare a moment at the light that buzzed and shut down into a metallic cylinder he held. Is that...a light saber?! Dude... I never forgot about those movies.

A Jedi? In the flesh? Just when I thought I experienced everything! She moved towards the man, managing to contain the initial shock as she intended to help him out. "Hey, are you all right? Not hurt, are you? Did you just find yourself lost here?"

Edited 2015-01-05 14:09 (UTC)

[OOC: Sorry this took me so long, and sorry for Mr. Scowly, he gets that way when separated from Padme.]

This was not the purple and blue landscape of Felucia. There was suddenly a lack of any blaster fire and his troops. They were all gone. No echo of them in the Force. Or of Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and… Padmé.

That last realization almost took his breath away, he could always feel Padmé in the back of his mind, a soothing reassurance she was alright while he was out on the battlefield.

And now she was not there.

For this reason, when he turned towards the person addressing him, he wore a deep scowl.

“You’ve done this?" he said sharply, jumping to conclusions. "Where have you taken me?”

[[Haha, no worries. I've had other muses active, and this OC of mine here has dealt with loads worse than a Jedi who believes she's kidnapped him. Hehe, Anakin, your world is going to be rocked--hard.]]

Mari blinked at him in confusion, and then shook her head. "I did not bring you here. The Nexus did." She was prompt to back up a bit and start explaining in the simplest way for someone to understand how her crazy home of a world this has been.

She wasn't even armed, having disintegrated the katana she had used on the monster earlier, which was just a pile of ash, located some ten to dozen feet behind her. Not any deception or terrible intent was to be seen on her current expression as she started to explain. "It's a sentient world of sorts. Very powerful, though I can't really be sure as to why you're here." Mari frowned. "It's never easy figuring out the way Nexus thinks, or feels. But you'll get back to where you were."

“How?” His expression changed to something less threatening, if no less intense. Of course he would fixate on the hope of returning back to his universe – back to Padmé.

“This place- it’s like Mortis?” He wasn’t sure if this person would know what Mortis was, outside of the mission debriefing before the Jedi Council, he’d only told Padmé about his experiences in that strange place. And yet, here was, in another strange place, speaking to someone who seemed lucid enough (which was an improvement over Mortis already.)

"Mortis?" What the Jedi said caused her to have to pause a moment. I don't remember hearing about that planet name in the movies. Augh. It's been a few years since I last seen any Star Wars films.

"...If this Mortis world is anything like a powerful and sentient world like this one is, then it's likely similar to that."

Nexus, you really OUGHT to try and stop plucking folks from where they're supposed to be without their consent!

Lord knows she knows this world has caused to react more unusually normal, but the arrival of more and more people? It's been a bit too much, on top of the fight against armored cyborgs, led by a man so hurt he can't see past his own delusion of what he believes God wants him to do...

[Who does crack better than Tekken-verse? Come on. In either Lee or Violet flavors. Why not both!]

[I am up for all of it. Everything. COME AT ME, DREAMWIDTH, LET'S DO THIS.]

[[In her messed up past, years ago, she had met a Vergil before. Discreet 4th walling in combination with option 1 sound good? Confusion and brain breakage may ensue towards both. Oh gosh yes @ the brain-breaking...

What I mean by discreet; she knows of Vergil, had played some DMC way back when--but would keep the video game knowledge to herself.]]

Edited 2015-01-05 00:14 (UTC)

[I'm totally down! You could even break the fourth wall all the way and I wouldn't mind! "OH HEY I LIKE YOUR GAME EXCEPT THE PART WHERE YOU DIED" "....what."

Brain breaking and confusion are always awesome. Crack is like my favorite thing (rp-wise), so you don't have to worry about going too off in left field or anything. Even if you want to combo a few prompts and make the whole thing just complete shenanigans, I'm cool with it! ♥]

[[Haha that's awesome. Although I fear the worst if Mari goes OOC, all "OH MAH GOD VERGIL I REMEMBER YOU! IT'S BEEN AGES! AND I ORIGINALLY KNEW YOU AS THIS GAME CHARACTER..." It'd get kinda too, too much on top of everything else, for me anyways. XD I've got something else in mind for the wacky. The world Mari has lived in particular once in a while does something incredibly weird or ridiculous. I'm going to pick something at random for setting to make 'em both stare. The part on how Mari reacts to what she feels is like a blast from a long ago intense past--that'll no doubt be confusing for Vergil, and thus she will be confused before having to explain it in pieces. Not that it'll be any less confusing for him! XD]]

[Mari blinked to adjust to the sudden change of scenery as she realized she was suddenly back at Home Nexus...and it was still that damn crazy dangerous island setting. Basically still that, yes--where a cyborg drone somewhere could carelessly step on one of those hidden switches and cause a piece of the already small island to start flooding with water as it gradually sinks. Followed by an earthquake. She would have proceeded to speak her mind to complain to herself that Xargin STILL was nowhere to be found--if everything didn't look like a little kid had taken some crayons and colored everything the wrong color. It almost hurt her eyes to look around a bit. Was she just seeing things, or did the trunk of that nearby tropical tree actually have polka dots all over it??

Mari's just staring around some more for the moment, wondering what the hell happened, and unaware that she wasn't alone on seeing this mess. She finds herself saying;]

Full on bonkers. I hope an asylum for sentient worlds exist, 'cause Nexus needs to take a visit there... [And just leave the cyborg problems to us COMPLETELY from here on out, she adds silently to herself. This is...! Things could go so much worse, but still! This is so messed up beyond words.]

[[Haha, fair enough! I do love the idea of him ending up somewhere that looks like it belongs in a cartoon, just for how priceless the look on his face would be. And any time he gets to be confused is wonderful for me XD]]

[When Vergil had passed through that hellgate, he did so with the intent to return to the demon world for the first time since finding himself stuck among humans. It had taken a trip to Fortuna and a very detailed ritual, but it seemed to have worked.

"Seemed" being the operative word.

When he arrives on the other side, one look is all it takes for him to visibly wince at the brightness.

Well, he had wanted to end up in hell -- and if you ask him, that's exactly where he's found himself.

Bemused, he brushes himself off and begins surveying his surroundings.]

Lesson learned: Never trust anyone who is that eager to help with a hellgate. Especially in Fortuna.

[He's going to actually kill the person that provided him with those ritual details.]

[[I'm just looking forward to Mari B. meeting your Vergil and the brain breakage between them both. XD]]

[The voice Mari hears distracts her from saying some sarcastic remark about Nexus transforming into a dream world of Dr. Suess's. Eh? Fortuna? The name of such a place did not ring any bells in mind. She turns to see a familiar face she has not seen in about a decade.

This causes her to stare at first, before finding it within herself to say a response. Or, rather his name in question.]

Vergil...?

[Holy crap, it really is Vergil Sparda. Only twice had she ever spoken to him, but briefly, because soooo much shit was going on, those many years ago. Folks from different worlds appearing, Kuja, those fanfiction characters of hers alive like real people, recovering from those two days of awful pain after being struck with an Ultima spell, Those Transformer evil bots and their mixed messages that set her on edge...and so much more...

Overall one of the scariest and most intense chain of events Mari had ever survived through. During and after that week and a half, her life never fully returned to normal.]

[[Likewise! XD]]

[Vergil's grip on Yamato instinctively tightens as he hears his name, but he doesn't move to draw the weapon just yet. Instead, he looks for the source. There's no reason that someone here of all places should know his name. Unless, of course, this place is just an illusion created by some trickster demon.

Which is all the more reason to be on alert.

When he finds the source, her look of astonishment is met with his look of complete confusion.]

How do you know my name?

[Vergil, you're such a brilliant conversationalist.]

[Mari makes no sudden movements, nor does she summon any weapon.

He doesn't recognize me...

Of course not. We barely knew each other to begin with Duuuh!]

It's all right if you don't remember me. We only saw each other twice, so long ago.

[She smiles to him a bit nervously.] You remember all the stuff about other worlds, right? And Tifa?

[The fact that she's unarmed makes him less likely to attack, but he's still on guard since he's pretty sure this is some manner of demonic fuckery.

When she mentions that they've met before, he raises an eyebrow, but he's still going off the fact that this might be a demon. Maybe she's a shapeshifter and he just met her in another form? It isn't until she mentions other worlds and someone named Tifa that he's actually confused.]

You mean the human and the demon world?

Tifa? I've never met anyone by that name.

[[I'd be thrilled if Caim-mun joined in on the crazy fun. :D]]

[She appears unarmed, but she's actually not. She could summon a blunt instrument for a weapon through this mark on the right palm of her hand, or transform to her armored form within seconds. Thousands of nano-machines are on the inside of her. Nothing demonic exactly, but of course she never picked any fights with...the version of Vergil she met. She'd never have a reason to deceive or attack the Vergil she's looking at now.

She hadn't even met the lunatic who infected her with nano's back then.

When it becomes clear that he's confused and doesn't know at all what he's talking about, Mari frowns, looking a bit sad. She nods, starting to understand.

Guess I'll have to break things down piece by piece and explain...]

No... That's not it at all, and, um, you're most likely not the same Vergil I met, way back when.

[She smiles apologetically.] Not actually the first time I've met another of those I first met... As confusing and bizarre I know how hard this is to believe and understand--it's the truth.

It'd take a long while to go over things. Where we are, and the whole other dozens of worlds and people you'd never know about to exist...

[It's never fair when something like this happens. When she arrived with other versions of Zack Fair, Cloud Strife, and Tifa Lockheart in the Nexus--which wasn't always an island--for her it was like meeting them all over again. They didn't know her at all, and they did not carry any recollection of memories regarding evil sadistic spirits and the mysterious appearances of various characters coming into her world.

It sucked. It made her heart ache some, and it sucked even more after she learned she had been separated from her family, and friends back at her old home world.]

[~~crack? I think you mean canon.~~ no but god of chaos here]

Zinda is drinking because of course she is. There is a pile of comics, both Marvel and DC in front of her. Also several DVDs.

"Fuckin' reboot. Havin' a World War II era character aged the universe too much they said!! They took my team away from my Skipper, and make my old squad into some half assed GI Joe knockoff didn'teven last 5 issues!

Aged the universe my ass! No one told Captain America that when he was puttin' butts in theatre seats. Fuckin' DC an' WB can't figure out what to do with their own damn IP.

Edited 2015-01-04 11:06 (UTC)

[[Both muse and mun would be up for lolz. If she knows who your muse is, then it's very likely she will discreetly 4th wall you!

Up for almost anything, even when it's so stupid it's silly.]]

Edited 2015-01-05 00:17 (UTC)

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The Crack Meme

Gabriel | Supernatural

Morgana | BBC Merlin

Nohara Rin | Naruto

1

Severus Snape | Harry Potter and the Very Nice Guy

what do you mean Hogwarts doesn't have a graduate program?

in this thread, snape and papen are voice actors doing their first BL drama

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Elim Garak | Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Anakin Skywalker | Star Wars

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Erwin Smith | Attack on Titan

Lee Chaolan | Tekken

Vergil | that one series with the demons and the stabbies

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I'm so sorry for the lateness!

It's all right. I tend to be a slow tagger at times too. :)

I'm glad it's not just me!

Yeah, still slow tagging because my dragon and crazy elf reuniting with a canon mate. XD

Understandable! I picked up an old character again myself so I'm switching between these two XD

Nice. I got a small handful active myself. Invited the mun of dragon's pact partner to musebox comm.

Loki | Marvel 616/Agent of Asgard | OTA

Ushahin Dreamspinner | The Sundering

fourth wall breaking crossover bar night anyone?

Mari Broderick | Original Character

Roland Deschain | The Dark Tower