bakerstreet | ( otherwordly )

[ She sees to the heart of it, doesn't she? He's been transparent enough with her, trusted her, and with all that she's seen she still says that. With a soft intake of breath, he nods. Not agreement necessarily, but understanding. She'll brook no argument on this subject, he knows that. ]

Perhaps I will. Would it be...

[ No, that's not the right way to ask. Nose wrinkling in frustration, he begins again. ]

When all of this is over, should you have the time...

[When all of this is over makes her stomach drop. She puts on brave, assured face to most, perhaps even to Cullen, but in her heart she has her doubts. Things that prick at the back of her mind. Thinking about after makes her itch with nervous energy, but she smiles and nods. They have to look forward.]

I'd be honored to meet your family, Cullen. I will always have time for that. [For him.] And if I don't, I'll make time.

Edited 2014-12-04 05:14 (UTC)

Good.

[ And there, he seems to relax at that. The entire affair has him torn between wanting to take advantage of what they have while they have it, and not wanting to seem as though he's expecting too much, too soon. Maker knows what she's got to dwell on when he's not foisting surprises like these on her.

And she accepts it. They'll make time. Yes, that sounds like a plan. When all of this is over, because he refuses to accept that it could end in anything other than victory, with her whole and healthy. He won't entertain a single thought that says otherwise.

No. He smiles a little sheepishly and tilts his head back, eyes drawn to that bare spot in the ceiling. ]

...good.

[He's so funny, sometimes. How in the world could she say no to meeting his family? Not only to sate her own curiosity about them and get stories about a young boy with noble dreams, but to support him. She laughs a little and nuzzles her face into his neck.

The amusement fades after a minute or two of comfortable silence.]

I haven't been letting myself make many plans for when this is over. [She suddenly admits, and leaves it open ended as to why--perhaps they'll be too busy wrapping up loose ends, or perhaps she'll be dead.] ... but the ones I do allow have you in them. I want you to know that.

There will be time to make more.

[ Which doesn't mean he won't idly think of them now and then. Hope's a precious thing to have, as well-suited as he is to having duty as his prime motivator. Hope and faith are what will see them through this, in the end. If they hadn't had that when they were just a handful of people in a backwater Chantry, none of this would have been possible.

Therefore anything is possible. Including a future with her. He'll allow himself that belief as he tips his head, kissing the crown of hers, and squeezing an arm around her. ]

...if you'll indulge my curiosity. If you could go home again, would you?

[He's full of good questions this morning. Like before, she takes a few heartbeats to think of her response.]

To visit, I think. I can't see myself living there again. [And then, after another pause, and a laugh:] I don't know if I can imagine myself living anywhere but Skyhold. Perhaps that will change, after, but we'll say that's my answer for now.

But when I visit, I'd like you to be with me. If you have the time.

Of course.

[ That's likely going to be an interesting visit. Noble families and their daughters. He's heard things. But Maker knows after facing the Elder One, he can face down a couple of stern parental figures. ]

Does that say something about us, I wonder?

[ He huffs out a short laugh, continuing to stroke her hair absently. ]

I've been so used to simply living where I served that I hadn't given much thought to actually choosing a place to live...but there is something about this place that seems right.

We brought it back to life, this place. Made it into our home. [It's the conclusion she's come to, anyway. Pilgrims, refugees, all the various people giving Skyhold breath--it's astounding. That they did this, especially after Haven... it gives her faith that they can prevail.]

Cullen... were you worried I'd leave Skyhold? [Still talking about after, of course, but she's tired of saying it. After. When it's over. When they're done. When they win.]

I didn't wish to presume.

[ 'Yes' is the answer, but he deliberates before actually saying what's on his mind, chin resting against the top of her head. ]

The thought had crossed my mind, but...I think it's safe to say none of us will know what we'll do. We don't know what shape the world will be in, or any of us for that matter.

No, we don't. But I can at least assure you that I'd never leave you by choice, Cullen. [She thought saying her plans all included him implied as much, but this man--the things that go through his head.] I want to be with you. I... want to find some way to make lyrium loosen its hold on you, and other Templars that decide to stop using it. That is one of my plans.

Much of that will depend on what becomes of the order, and the Chantry along with it.

[ A low noise of frustration and he'd closed his eyes, tipping his head back into the pillows once more. Too many uncertainties there, as well. No wonder she was hesitant to make concrete plans. The number of contingencies one would need was a nightmare.

If only the will to make it so were enough in every instance. Her will, he could believe it. His own had proven less than successful in the past. ]

...forgive me if sounded doubtful of you. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We'll figure something out. Some way for you to be more comfortable. [She kisses his neck, trailing down to his collar bone. There has to be a way to ease the withdrawal symptoms.]

I know what those nightmares do to you.

I'm certain I'm not the only person here who has nightmares. It's not something easily fixed. The pain, I can endure. Given time, it may lessen.

[ Even she must suffer nightmares by this point, given all that she's seen and done. They all have their burdens to bear, and so long as the cravings don't distract him from his duties, he has no issue with bearing them in silence.

One eye cracks open to look down at her, an attempt to keep a straight face managed. ]

Besides, I find it easier these days to occupy my mind with...far more pleasant thoughts.

[She has nightmares about what she's faced, will face, might face. Failure is a common theme in every nightmare that has her jolting upright in bed and feeling like she hadn't slept at all. But his were different. Memories of the terrible things that hurt him. He was so strong--and she admired that so much.]

Assuming you mean me, I'm glad to fill up the spaces. And I intend to make you as happy as possible.

[Her body presses closer against his. And just in case--]

You make me very happy, Cullen. Never forget that.

[ How could he forget, when she looked at him that way? When all he could feel down to his bones was contentment, a peace like he'd never known, with her pressed close to him like this. ]

And you've made me...'happy' doesn't even come close.

[ Chuckling softly, he slips a hand down along the curve of her back, eyes just barely open but fixed entirely upon her. ]

Whole, perhaps.

[Way to outdo her, Cullen. He always does, honesty and sincerity drawing her to him like a moth to a flame. She's come to know many people deserving of respect, but he, in her opinion, is a notch above the rest.

Back when she first woke up in Haven, she's not sure she would have pegged him for being such a sweet and loving man. Handsome, undoubtedly, but she never would have imagined this. The strength and security from loving and being loved.]

Whole. I like that. [In the back of her mind there's a twinge of fear--Maker, if she died, what would happen to him? The thought makes her feel sick. He didn't deserve another tragedy. Pushing the thought aside entirely, she slides herself further up his body, chest against his, so that she can place her hand on he side of his face, nose brushing against his.]

Have I ever told you how difficult you make it to get out of this bed?

I do?

[ He almost sounds curious, but that lasts all of a half-second. Then he's pushing up off of the sheets, rolling sideways and pressing her back into the mattress in a matter of moments.

Cullen's lips find hers, hand sliding downward to grasp her hip, already shifting his weight to prevent her discomfort. Still. She can't tease and not expect a reaction. He doubts she did, at any rate.

When he draws back, there's a fond but definitely heated look in his eyes. ]

Then tell me.

[It's with a huff and a laugh that she lets him roll her. Words could never express how she loved it when he decided to be playful, or how hard it was to keep her face straight whenever Varric made some offhand comment about him being all work and no play. Sometimes she wondered how the dwarf would react if she ever told him what happened on the desk of the oh-so-serious Commander's desk.

The way she grins implies this is just what she wanted, and as they kiss, she wraps her arms around him, encouraging him to lay more of his weight on her so that she can feel that much closer to him.]

Something about feeling weak in the knees comes to mind. Perhaps a little dizzy, too.

Dizzy? Well then...

[ Assumptions can be made. As far as he cares she's the only one that ever needs to know differently. It's for her he lets this side of himself through, as he lets himself plant kisses slowly down the slope of her neck, one-- ]

...perhaps you ought to lie down. Seems the only...

[ --after another. ]

...reasonable answer.

[ And then another, nestled in the hollow of her throat. Alas, they won't have time to get up to much more than this, but it's nice just the same. He enjoys being able to rest his head there and hear her heart beat, the most reassuring sound in all the world. ]

[A woman that's faced dragons and demons and has walked in the Fade can still find her heart thudding quickly in her chest from a few well-placed kisses. Content, approving hums accompany each kiss, and after the last she tilts her head to press a lingering kiss to his forehead.]

You're a menace. [She mutters affectionately, hands roaming his back and shoulders. One comes to rest at the base of his skull, rubbing gentle circles there.]

A day where you and I have no obligations and can spend the entire day in bed. That's another plan.

[ There's a quiet noise as her fingers circle against his neck, his eyes still closed. Maybe the day can be kept from intruding just a little while longer. The thought of being able to shut it all out and stay here with her seems immeasurably better than rising to see to their duties.

Alas. The noise from beyond the stone walls grows. The keep stirs. When he speaks, his words muffle against her skin. ]

You'll hear no argument from me.

[The drumming in her chest slows to a steady, strong rhythm with him resting against her. There's a fierce protectiveness for Cullen in her heart--she wants to keep him safe from his nightmares, his pain, the allure of lyrium. Chase away any of his doubts about the kind of man he is. Her fingers move to his hair, gently combing it back, wanting nothing more but to stay in this moment.

Then, all of a sudden, she's biting back a laugh.]

Do you remember when I asked you if you took a vow of celibacy?

I recall.

[ Cullen's head lifts, along with an eyebrow. ]

Why?

[ And more importantly, why was it suddenly so funny? Unless he'd done something and hadn't realized... ]

I can't believe I did that. I hardly knew you. [Of all the things she's done, that's the one she's claiming to not believe. Thinking about it now, she's embarrassed.] I just had a thought about how things were then and how they are now.

[She reaches out to trace the scar on his lip with her thumb.] I bet you never thought that strange woman would become your lover.

There were a lot of things in my life I didn't think possible.

[ And yes, it's amusing, but he knows what they say about him. What they think. Granted, no one's opinion matters now but hers, but it wasn't a surprise that she'd wondered. He wouldn't tease her about wondering now.

Instead he tips his head, allowing the touch, thumb absently stroking her hip in turn. ]

Given how many of them you personally managed to prove me wrong about, I think I'm going to stop believing anything is impossible.

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