bakerstreet | minor injury meme.

minor injury meme.

You or your meme partner has been hurt, but don't worry! This time around it's not that bad. You can still limp your way out of this mess.

INJURIES.
1. Sprain/strain. How did you screw up walking?
2. Broken bones. Simple fractures still hurt.
3. Cuts. Hopefully one of you has a sewing kit.
4. Burns. Location, location, location. Let's pray this one isn't on your ass.
5. Concussion. No, they're most likely not holding up fifteen fingers.
6. Other. I'm not a doctor.

HOW'D IT HAPPEN.
1. Stupidity. You did this to yourself.
2. Accident. Is an unintentional attack still an attack?
3. Attack. Don't lie, you deserved it.
4. Other. It's probably still your own fault.

WHERE'D IT HAPPEN.
1. Home. Did you remember to invest in a first aid kit?
2. School/Work. This should be excellent for getting you out of doing stuff!
3. Outdoors. Predators like the smell of blood. Clean up asap.
4. In the water. Hopefully there aren't any sharks!
5. Other. Like a hospital. That'd be handy.

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[That speaks well of Dorian and not-so-well of Tevinter, though Hawke thinks that Dorian would easily be the first to admit that.]

I know how that feels.

[It's a relief that he still remembers how to do this, and he finally relaxes a little bit.]

A friend taught me the bare basics. I wish it didn't come in handy as often as it does for me.

[Chewing on his lip, he lets the spell finish its work, leaving his palms there until the glow fades.]

"Hawke" is fine, if you prefer.

[Dorian is the best part of Tevinter if you ask him. He's very biased.]

I imagine you do.

[Since he's feeling better, Dorian looks over his shoulder at Hawke.]

One of the companions from your tale? I typically leave the healing to Solas and Vivienne. They're better.

[He rolls his shoulders, stretches his arms above his head, and there's a little pain but he's definitely healed.]

Now I feel important, I get to call the Champion by his name. Cassandra will be so jealous.

You've read it too, have you? [Oooof course. Damn it, Varric, if you weren't Hawke's BFF he'd kick your little exaggerating dwarven ass.] Yes. One of my friends in Kirkwall ran a clinic. He was worried I'd get myself killed if I couldn't at least patch myself up.

[The one who was an abomination and became a terrorist when all was said and done. Though Hawke doesn't really want to bring him up.

He'd rather laugh at Dorian's apparent importance in addressing him. Maker, he will never get used to that, no matter how big his celebrity grows against his will.]

Funny you say that. I'm certain Cassandra has a very long list of names she'd like to call me...

No, Varric tells stories over Wicked Grace at the tavern. [Cassandra did lend him the tale, but it's much more fun to get Varric to tell it. He's an animated little dwarf.] A handy skill. Tevinter doesn't put much importance on healing.

[It feels rude to bring up Anders any more than in passing. People get touchy when he supports his actions.]

I think she's angrier with Varric than with you. The Inquisitor had to break up a fist fight between them. [He chuckles slightly at the memory. Those two fight but he knows they both care for each other. All the companions do.] She likes simple solutions to complex problems. You were simple for her at the time.

[With a sigh, Dorian begins the process of putting his robes back on. They're sticky with blood and it's uncomfortable.]

I'll have you know the dwarf is a liar and you shouldn't believe about 75% of anything he's said about me.

[It's fun how the mood is lighter when one of you isn't bleeding to death!

And he bites his tongue to avoid the snark about what Tevinter does like to put importance on, because it was going to be a blood magic joke.

This is the first he's heard of a fistfight over his honor, though.]

Varric didn't tell me about that. Though he did mention something about me being in the running for the role of Inquisitor.

[He actually laughs at the very idea.] Thank the Maker they didn't ask me. You could have heard my screaming in horror as I ran all the way across Thedas.

But that's the best part! It begs the question what does he choose to lie about? Why does he? It's good fun.

[Dorian is a delight, even when bleeding to death. It's not his fault some people can't see it.

He's heard every blood mage joke there is. None of them bother him.]

Yes, Cassandra and the others wanted you to lead because you were the figure that could reunite all of Thedas under a broken system that is better off being completely rebuilt. [Dorian sighs. He supports mage freedom and doesn't hide it. He's Tevinter, what does anyone expect?]

And yet, here you are, scouting and helping save the most handsome member of the Inquisition. No matter what those kitchen wenches say about Cullen.

Certainly not the part where I owe him money. My Wicked Grace skills are unfortunately as poor as rumored.

[Ah, what a truly priceless bit of information that had been to learn.] Maker. They wanted a Fereldan dog lord mercenary apostate fugitive with unfortunate ties to the mage rebellion to hitch up the Chantry to his back and command an army? They really were desperate.

[Better than what Hawke thought they wanted with him, which was to scapegoat him and put him on trial. But not by much.

He laughs again, shaking his head.]

No, I think your Inquisitor is doing a damned better job than I ever would have. I'll stick to odd jobs and rescuing handsome people, myself.

Oh then you must play a game with us. Perhaps we can get you as naked as we got our dear military adviser. [Now that would be a game Dorian would enjoy to its fullest.]

According to the Inquisition, the world was falling apart and they were very, very desperate. Varric had a good point that if they had found you, you'd probably be dead in the explosion at the conclave. [Dorian is neatly buckled into his armor again, looking presentable except for the blood stains.]

She's quite capable and the world is warming up to her. She'll go on to do amazing things and if you tell her I said that I will get my revenge. I am not your damsel in distress. I refuse to be classified as such, handsome is acceptable however.

Oh, without a doubt. Though I'm not half-bad naked, since you mention it.

[And all the more reason Hawke is glad he was nice and safe and boozing it up in some shitty tavern incognito at the time and not getting carted to the Temple of Sacred Ashes in a wagon when the sky itself broke loose.]

My lips are sealed.

Though really- you should probably avoid getting stabbed in the back as much as you possibly can. There aren't enough of us handsome mages left in the world these days.

I don't doubt it. You're not half-bad dressed.

[Dorian is mildly surprised Hawke continues to flirt. It's not something Varric ever mentioned.]

Come, sit. You're lording over me and only one of us is actually a Lord. It's me. [The wounds are healed, but Dorian still needs a moment, blood loss will do that to a man.] Usually, I don't scout without a big, burly warrior to get stabbed for me. It's really very useful. You should try it.

[Nothing but a grin in response to that one. Champion he may be, but an incorrigible flirt all the same.

He has a seat. It will be getting dark soon, but he'd rather not rush Dorian since he was hurt so badly.]

I ordinarily have at least one here or there. But I'm sadly lacking since I left Kirkwall, and my little brother is too busy to take knives for me these days.

[He's got another one who's Tevinter too, Dorian. Except he's an elf. And an ex-slave. And he'd be tearing your organs out on sight if he was here right now.]

Who sends mages scouting, anyway? Some bonehead must have volunteered it... [Yes. It was Hawke.]

[Dorian waves a hand at the long empty torches on the wall which instantly burst into green veil fire. It's a handy trick.]

I guess you can't see him very often. Does Varric pass letters for you?

[He can't imagine what it'd be like to have a sibling. Maybe he would still be in Tevinter if there was someone else for his parents to put their hopes and dreams on.]

It was a stupid idea. Let's bring a warrior with us next time if we're going to pretend to be scouts. Or learn some healing spells. Good ones.

[Hawke can't say whether it's easier to have siblings or not, particularly when his surviving sibling is an adorable, cuddly little bundle of cranky like Carver.]

Sometimes. It's hard to track Wardens, often, but they've always ended up in the right place so far. Carver's in Kirkwall now at our family estate, with all the... trouble they've had.

[Still, despite all their past differences, when it all hit the ground a few years ago, Carver was there by his side. He's harbored him since. They gripe constantly but the fact they love each other is no longer an uncertainty.]

We could bring that Qunari friend of yours. He looks like a stabbing would just make him angry.

I'm glad to hear he escaped the trouble at Adamant. It's a shame so many got caught up in that. The Wardens are good men. Blackwall's a bit dower but a good man.

[He chuckles at the mention of Bull and shakes his head slightly.He and the Qunari have reached an understanding with each other. It's the first steps towards peace between their nations. Probably the only step.]

Bull laughs when he gets stabbed or set on fire or generally anything that hurts him. I've never seen anyone so excited to fight dragons before.

Stroud was... he was his senior teammate. When he told me there were Warden problems in Orlais, I may have insisted my brother go back to Kirkwall to keep away from it. [A beat.] We may have gotten in a small fistfight over it.

[Oh, so that's where the healing bruise on the side of his face came from.]

Yes. That's what we need. A big, tough, lunatic of a Qunari to take stab wounds for us.

You seem like the sort of mage who gets into fist fights. No offense, but I think it's a Ferelden trait.

[The bruise adds character to his face. It's a nice face. Dorian's enjoyed spending time with it.]

The only downside is that he makes constant staff jokes. I don't think I need to elaborate on that.

[Hawke is a mage. He knows what sort of staff jokes Bull makes. Dorian has heard them all and is tired of them.]

None taken. It definitely is.

[Especially when it's him and Carver.

Hawke winces suddenly and eyes him sidelong.]

Oh, you don't like phallic staff jokes? But I had a great one right on the tip of my tongue and everything.

[Dorian laughs then smirks at Hawke, one eyebrow raised.] A joke or a staff, because one I'm very interested in hearing about.

[And he's flirting with the Champion of Kirkwall. Dorian has done some rather crazy things in his lifetime but this probably tops the list. Varric may kill him. He's very protective of his friend.]

Either or, depending on what time it is and how much I've had to drink.

[Man, it's fun to flirt again after all these years of slinking around in taverns and caves and hiding from the Chantry. Not that he didn't do any flirting in the interim, but it's infinitely better when you're sure the other person definitely doesn't work for the Chantry.]

Ah, but you're clearly interested in the joke, aren't you?

Oh dear, I may have to get you drunk now.

[The chances of Dorian working for the Chantry are as likely as Hawke working for Corypheous.]

I love a good staff [He doesn't even add anything to this. He means it. He loves a well craft mage staff and male staffs. In for a penny, in for a pound, he knows no other way to be really.]

[He laughs and shakes his head.] When we get back to Skyhold, I'm taking you up on that.

And after, you can certainly have a look, if you're so inclined.

[He'll keep it down, not to worry about Varric! Or... Cassandra, for that matter.]

Oh, I'm inclined. A bit surprised but pleasantly so. Varric never mentioned this about you.

[Perhaps Varric keeps secrets for the Champion besides his location and what he's been up to all these years. Cassandra is more likely to hurt Dorian for sullying her precious Champion.]

Amazingly, Varric actually can mind his own business about some things. Or, well... not spread them around, at least.

[The Champion being a notorious flirt being one of them.

He looks fairly amused with himself for the most part.]

Life is short, I figure. Might as well enjoy yourself when the opportunity presents itself. [Especially when you're a fugitive apostate blah blah blah blah Hawke.]

Hm, perhaps I can trust him with the answer to certain questions after all.

[Being a flirt is one thing. Dorian is a flirt, but his preference is undeniably men.

The amusement makes Dorian smile, a genuine one which is rare indeed.]

The life of a hero is usually even shorter. So far, you've done well surviving your title.

He told me himself he's bad at writing smutty scenes.

[Particularly when they star his BFF. Erotic friend fiction is not Varric's forte and Hawke had never been more relieved to learn such a thing.]

I can't tell if it boils down to actual survival skills or luck. And if it's luck, I can't tell if it's good or bad.

[He shrugs, leaning back against the pillar behind him.]

It is what it is, I suppose.

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pavus_redemit - 2014-12-01 21:50 (UTC) - Expand

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