the way you blowin' up my phone won't make me leave no faster

[memesmemes]

THE TEXTING MEME

0. Post a blank comment.
1. Copy the form below.
2. TEXT YOUR FRIENDS, TEXT EVERYBODY, MISFIRE, FLIRT, SPAM THEM WITH TEXTS.
3. Alternatively, just call them, y'know.

<font face="courier new" size="2">"Your text goes here"
 

Comments

[feroces]

Yes, I'm taking you. Because somehow you can pull all kinds of ridiculous crap and people still love you.

The shareholders. The board... It might come as a surprise to you, but I'm not exactly "social".

[knightbynight]

Your problem isn't that you aren't social, it's that you can't lie for shit.

I'll take care of it. What time is lunch?

[feroces]

No, lying is easy. Easier lately, thanks to you. Pretending to care is the hard part.

It's at noon. I'll pick you up.




... Thanks.

[knightbynight]

So care.

Show up here by 11:30.

[feroces]

It's not that I don't actually care... Asking you to go to this thing should prove I do.

People just don't see me as friendly.

[knightbynight]

People see you as abrasive and oftentimes aggressive.

You're... too forward and direct.

[feroces]

And that's why I'm bringing you. You know how to work a room, rub elbows with people, hang off my arm a little...

Just help me seem likable for an hour.

[knightbynight]

I'll smooth over the rough edges, translate and make you look good but I am not hanging off your arm.

...on second thought, I might do exactly that. This could be fun.

[feroces]

... Okay, then it's my turn to ask. Why are you doing this?

[knightbynight]

You need my help. I don't hate you. That's all the reason there is.

[feroces]

I can't tell if you're lying over text...

[knightbynight]

I'm not lying. Why wouldn't I do this?

[feroces]

Why would you? Usually I have to twist your arm to make you do anything.

[knightbynight]

Is what you're usually trying to make me do help you?

[feroces]

No. It's usually to help you.

[knightbynight]

There's your answer.

[feroces]

Oh...

[Give him a moment.]

Then you should take care of yourself for once because it helps me.

[knightbynight]

Nice try, but no. It doesn't work that way, and it isn't that easy.

For you. [Perfectly easy for him.]

[feroces]

I still don't get why you're so difficult about that, but whatever. I'll take it, if it gets me through tomorrow's meeting.

[knightbynight]

You don't need to understand it, just accept it. Even better, stop trying.

You'll get through tomorrow. Just keep your mouth closed and follow my lead. Why is this meeting so important to you, anyway?

[feroces]

Yeah, well that's just not going to happen.

... It's important because I can't lose shareholder confidence, and unlike someone, I don't want people that I can't trust on my board.

[knightbynight]

I prefer people I can control.

I've changed my mind. Show up at eleven. You'll need wardrobe help.

[feroces]

Then it's probably a good thing I don't care what you prefer most of the time.

What's wrong with my wardrobe?

[knightbynight]

It saves us both frustration, I'm sure.

Nothing's wrong with the clothes you were. There may be something wrong with the way you wear it.

[feroces]

Which is kind of worrisome, since you're frustrating enough as it is.

I still don't get where you're coming from with this, Bruce. They're clothes. I wear them. People even say I look good in them sometimes.