stregadoro: (pic#2500705)
beatrice. ([personal profile] stregadoro) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2014-10-16 12:51 pm

a failure under the sheets


Fail SexThe Meme


While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!


bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →


1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability.


outside influences →


1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...


Taken from this post on [community profile] bakerstreet
kisumicchi: (014)

[personal profile] kisumicchi 2014-10-23 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, I'll stay with you until they're back. You can't be left alone in this condition.

[Lending his shoulder, Kisumi guides Makoto to his room. He doesn't even want to think what could happen if he left the other on his own. Although Makoto's room isn't that far away, they manage to stumble a few times, but thankfully they reach their destination in a relatively good state.]

You're all sweaty, I'll get you a change of clothes.
cordated: (DRAINS.)

[personal profile] cordated 2014-10-25 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you, Kisumi. It ... means a lot. [ And upon reaching his room, Makoto literally just topples onto the bed, which might've been comical if he wasn't straining with fever (although it still might be funny in an ambiguous sense). ]

They're ... in the drawers over there.
kisumicchi: (011)

[personal profile] kisumicchi 2014-10-25 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[At least, with Makoto finally lying on bed, Kisumi doesn't have to worry about him tripping or harming himself.

When he searches for clothes for change, he smiles to himself seeing the perfect order inside.]


I'll help you change, if you don't mind.
cordated: (HUMID.)

[personal profile] cordated 2014-10-25 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Well, it's not as if he's been waiting for some kind of signal, since he's already discarded his jacket and currently in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt (already partially undone) on the bed with wavering focus.

Like coming out of some hazy stupor, his answer broaches indistinctness. ]


Honestly, I-I can — ... change myself! Just leave the ... clothes there. You ... don't have to — go through any more ... trouble, just for me.
kisumicchi: (002)

[personal profile] kisumicchi 2014-10-25 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm just messing with you. [Putting the change of clothes next to Makoto who's busy with removing the rest of his clothing.]

And how is this trouble? You can't be left alone here, not until your family come back.

[Kisumi places his hand on the other's forehead, but it's so hot that he can't help it but to pull his hand back really fast.]

I should cool you down somehow.
cordated: (Default)

[personal profile] cordated 2014-10-26 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
Well — they'll come back before ... evening. I think. [ His voice is a bit tinnier now, but he appears reassured by Kisumi's answer as he removes his shirt and flops back again. ] I told you my mom ... knew. She's probably — getting some .... aspirin as we speak.

[ He blinks up at Kisumi's hand, then tokenly shuts his eyes. ] You worry — too much. ... I'll be fine.

[ Unspoken: Water would be nice. ]

kisumicchi: (010)

[personal profile] kisumicchi 2014-10-26 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
No, you won't. Do you think I will believe you now? You should have stayed at home today in the first place. [Kisumi can't help thinking that Makoto is cute, no matter if he's sick or feverish.] I'll bring you something to drink, you just stay there and cover yourself with a blanket. [He offers, stroking the other's hair gently.]
cordated: (FILTER.)

[personal profile] cordated 2014-10-27 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well. — I didn't want to miss your match. ... You played really well. What kind of — ... boyfriend would I be if I wasn't — there for you?

[ Contented with that much, he takes up the first duvet layer and bundles himself up in it, automatically dropping his head back into the pillow. ]

Thank you, Kisumi. ... For everything.
kisumicchi: (011)

[personal profile] kisumicchi 2014-10-27 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
[Kisumi could give him a nice, long lecture here, about how he should care about his own well-being instead of driving himself into sickness even more.

But there's no point in doing that, and Kisumi isn't particularly fond of lecturing others. He quietly leaves the room to fetch Makoto something to drink. He thought about preparing tea for his sick boyfriend, but only if he knew where the tea is. And Kisumi's not brave enough to make a mess in Makoto's mom kitchen, so the water must suffice.

With a glass of water in his hand, and the bottle in the other, he opens the door to Makoto's room.]


Is water okay? Or should I bring something else?
cordated: (Default)

[personal profile] cordated 2014-10-28 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Well, Makoto and his absurd pathological need to apparently make things worse for him are a package deal.

Either way, the water's more than appreciated, and Makoto indicates as much with the huge dopey grin spreading across his face as he glances up and registers Kisumi's arrival. ]


Water's good. ... Thank you, Kisumi — I don't know what I'd do without your help.
kisumicchi: (001)

[personal profile] kisumicchi 2014-10-28 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kisumi sits on the floor, just next to the boy's bed, smiling back at Makoto.]

I don't even want to know what would happen.

[The basketball match and walking Makoto home made him tired, but he didn't feel it until just now. Kisumi rests his head on the bed, next to the other's hand and closes his eyes.]

Just tell me if you need anything.