bakerstreet | The Family Meme

The Family Meme

The FAMILY Meme

How does it work? Simple! Choose a relationship (or roll for one, if it suits your fancy), and then RNG for a situation! That, or just go straight for whatever situation appeals to you. These are all fairly vague: just something to start you off!

Parent-Child

     1. Rock-a-Bye How do you get a fussy child to sleep? Read them a story, sing them a lullaby, or just let them stay up until they exhaust themselves? Whatever the choice, it is time for bed.

     2. For The First Time You've never met this person in your life, but it turns out they're one of the two reasons you exist. Maybe they walked out when you were young. Maybe they never knew you were born. Whatever the reason, it is now time to meet them.

     3. Past Midnight That curfew was set for a reason. Now it's two AM, and your kid is just now dragging in. Maybe they're drunk. Or got into a fight. Or just had way too much fun snogging their new love interest. It's time for them to face the music.

     4. New Home It's the first day of your new life together, as parent and child. Whether it's through adoption, a basket on the front steps, or a wish come true, both of you are going to have to learn to take your steps together.

     5. Holiday It could be Christmas, Easter, or just a birthday, but it is time to celebrate! Get together for some good old-fashioned family fun.

     6.Take To Work Day What your parents do for a living is the quickest thing that can turn a kid from boring to the coolest on the block. So whatever the job, from accountant to zookeeper, go to work!

     7. You're Not My Real Dad Being a step-parent (or step-child, for that matter) can be tough. Problem is, you're stuck with each other. So whether you're yelling or just having an awkward conversation, it is time to work things out.

     8. Unexpected Guardian So you're not the parenting type. Too bad. Situation calls for someone to step up to the plate and look out for this kid, and you're the only one near base. Have fun with that.

Siblings

     1. Protective Big Sibling Okay, look. No one gets to mess with your sibling but you. Your little brother or sister is in trouble; let them know you're going to be the one to take care of it.

     2. Ruining The Night So your sibling has a hot date. You know what that calls for? Making their lives a living hell.

     3. Newcomer Who is this new kid in your house? Your family has adopted, and now you have to call this stranger family. Welcome them into the house, or let them know how much they aren't wanted.

     4. Blood Brothers So maybe you aren't really related to this person. That doesn't matter. You're going to change that, right now. In this moment, you will become family. Nothing can break this bond.

     5. Middle of the Night It's the middle of the night. Your car is broken down, or you're drunk, or you need bailed out, or you just got beat up, or someone just broke up with you. Whatever just happened, it's time to call your sibling and hope they can bail you out.

     6. Sibling Rivalry Nobody understands what jerks siblings can be! Always in your stuff, messing up your relationships, getting in your way -- it's time for an all out brawl, whether that means yelling, pranking, or fists flying.

     7. Long-Lost Maybe you've heard of this person. Or maybe they are entirely new to you. However, you've gotten the information that you're more than strangers: you're family. Welcome to each other's lives.

     8. All Alone Once your family was whole. Or maybe it never truly was. Whatever the case, the world is a big, dangerous place, and you've only got one person left to rely on: your sibling.

Uncle/Aunt-Niece/Nephew

     1. Sent Away There's something bad going on at home, and you've been sent away to "safety." Problem is, how safe is this relative really? Are they the kooky, cool kind of Aunt, or are they a crazed Uncle after your fortune? Time to find out.

     2. Taking You In Something's happened to your niece/nephew's parents, and it's time to step up and do your family duty. They've got nowhere else to go, after all.

     3. The One We Don't Talk About So maybe the family is a little bit...ashamed of you. You're a bit mad, or you've done something they just don't like. Yet you want to be part of your niece/nephew's life, and whatever their parents say, you'll find a way.

     4. Grand Adventure Maybe you came out of nowhere, or maybe you've just been keeping secrets. But you aren't an ordinary aunt/uncle, and it's time to take your niece or nephew on a very wild ride.

     5. Like A Parent To Me Sure, you have parents, but this person is who your parents should be like -- or maybe who you feel should be your parent in the first place. Let them know how you feel about them.

     6. Don't Tell Mom Aunts and Uncles have special qualities. Like, sometimes, being a bit more lenient than Mom and Dad might be. So you have a, er, sensitive problem? It's time to run to them.

In A Relationship

     1. New Baby On The Way The panicking is already over, but there are still preparations to be made. Maybe you need to set up the nursery, or you've got the best idea for your soon-to-be child's name.

     2. Romeo & Juliet You love this person. Perhaps more than life itself. But it is time to break the bad news: your family will never approve.

     3. I Think I Might Be Pregnant Somehow, you are pregnant. And you think you know who the father is...time to break the news.

     4. While You Were Away You've been gone years, only to come back and find your beloved has a child...with your eyes.

Other
     Of course, you are free to make up your own scenario, or do a relationship not done here! "

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[And that would explain Sherlock's look. She glances over at Arthur, whose piece of buttered toast is starting to resemble a buttered brontosaurus, and there is something undeniably fond in her expression. She's not maternal, not in the least, but there is too much history, too much sentiment, that led to the boy that she cannot deny.

Mycroft, on the other hand, gets a Look.]

Be careful what you say, Mr. Holmes. You know how much I enjoy causing scandal.

She would try her very best to hurt you, and him, and she would use every weapon available to do so.

[A gentle inclination of his head towards the child.]

And yes, you would perhaps succeed at besting her in return, but not before damage had been done. Damage I should very much like to avoid. Go visit her with my brother, be an illicit mistress if you like-

[But keep Arthur away from Aunt Agnes. That's his only advice.]

[Arthur remains blissfully unaware of the conversation going on about him, instead scrutinizing the toy he's turned his breakfast into, marching it bravely along through some invisible jungle in the air.

While his mother watches his uncle with a careful consideration.]

Then it's a good thing I have a babysitter.

A trip to the London Zoo, perhaps.

[Mycroft decides, offering his nephew a second piece of toast to turn into a tyrannosaurus, should he need to.

He glances back up at Irene.]

Although, there is the off chance you will impress her. She does have a bit of a contrary streak to her... though I think she'll be disappointed Sherlock hasn't married John.

[Toast dinosaurs are not a balanced breakfast, but Arthur merely looks delighted at the prospect. It will at least keep him occupied until he realizes the potential of a hot cocoa tar pit.

Irene laughs, though, at the comment. She is surprisingly relaxed, given who she's talking to. Normally her interactions with the elder Holmes are politely antagonistic, but Arthur's presence is a truce of sorts, an unspoken, mutual agreement that no harm will come to the boy, though of course their definitions of 'real harm' sometimes diverged.]

That's the beauty of illicit mistresses, isn't it? The man in question is always free to marry someone else.

[No doubt, in the other room, an inexplicable chill is running down John Watson's spine.]

I doubt very much my brother would see it that way.

[He sips his tea again, reaching up unconsciously to ruffle his nephew's curls again. Mycroft eases when he's around Arthur, in ways that make him far more human.]

But you can try to prompt him into it if you'd like.

[Another shrug, and for a moment Irene concerns herself with nothing more than a sip of tea and watching Arthur nibble the other piece of toast into a crude dinosaur. Crude, by most standards, but quite precise for being done by a three-year-old boy. A three year old boy who is also making 'rar!' sounds under his breath.]

You've never tried to take him. [A nod at Arthur.]

Take him where?

[To the zoo, or out of her hands, he has to wonder. He hardly isn't going to react to the second without being sure it's the real question she's asking.]

[An arched eyebrow, and a look that clearly conveys 'You know what I'm talking about.']

You can't believe my lifestyle is conducive to raising a rabbit, much less a child.

What do you know about Arthur's paternal grandparents?

[The people responsible for raising him and his brother.]

[Another shrug, this one carefully careless. Irene Adler does not like admitting there's something she can't find out about. Or that she hasn't already. But this is one area in which she has very little knowledge.

Pasts are very unimportant in the game she and Sherlock Holmes find themselves caught in. She likes it that way, for the most part.]

If I knew anything at all, I expect I wouldn't be asking the question in the first place.

For the best, I would imagine.

[He admits, glancing down at Arthur with a fond smile, then up at her.]

I'm not sure how to answer your question in its entirety. I will say that I do believe there are far worse parents out there, and that a little adversity can produce the kind of mettle in a person that will serve him well in his life. If I believed for one instant that you were harming a hair on his head, well-

[Feeling eyes on him, the boy looks up at Mycroft, serious, always serious, then hands him the slightly soggy brontosaurus of buttered toast.

Irene's lips twitch at his antics.]

I inflict pain on people who enjoy it and can pay for it. And take advantage of those too blind to see what's in front of them. Arthur is neither.

[Either taking a sign of his name as an invitation to the conversation or simply wanting to prove a point, Arthur chimes in.]

Mama only beats stupid people.

Arthur, that isn't very kind.

[Mycroft chides, dipping the brontosaurus in his tea and taking a bite. Let this be inspiration for cocoa shenanigans as it may.]

We don't call them that. It hurts their feelings, and when that happens, they get difficult and don't give us what we want. Earnest people is more... gentle.

[Irene watches the exchange with undisguised amusement. Arthur, on the other hand, is watching with laser focus (or what passes for laser focus for a developmentally advanced three-year-old), his eyes following the path of the toast dinosaur. The gears in his head are already spinning.

Hopefully Mrs. Hudson won't mind a hot cocoa lake.

The boy shakes his head.]

Stupid people.

Remember the difference, Arthur, even if you don't choose to use it. Practice, now and again.

[Another casual dip- this time into Arthur's cocoa. He bites the chocolatey toast thoughtfully, then glances back up at Irene, reaching out to steady the cup with one hand, in preparation for the shenanigans surely to follow. It won't get outright knocked over, though they may very well drip everywhere.]

If you ever need anyone to watch him-

[Only time will tell if the boy will actually remember the advice, or if all he'll remember is how to drown toast dinosaurs in hot cocoa pits. Irene had her guesses, and she's more than a little entertained by the fact that if anyone is going to end up undignified and covered in dribbles of hot chocolate, it's Mycroft.

She waves a seemingly negligent hand at the offer]

--I'll leave him in a basket outside this flat. Assuming he doesn't turn around and cause some sort of riot immediately.

[A smile at the very idea. She knows it's likely, and would love to see it. But she appreciates the offer anyway.]

Ah.

[He inclines his head. Of course, it would make the most sense to bring Arthur to his father, first. Sherlock would be moderately capable, and John would pick up the slack the rest of the way, with Mrs Hudson spotting to make sure nothing caught fire.

A splash of cocoa gets his attention. He reaches down to dab it away with his handkerchief, and to manage to get the worst of the mess off Arthur's face at the same moment, with a soft tut.]

Moses in the reeds would need to be mildly less sticky, nephew.

[More like because she knows leaving the boy at Baker Street would give Sherlock fits and she enjoys nothing more than to stymie him. And John and the housekeeper would keep Arthur from eating anything experimental before whatever surveillance system she suspected Mycroft had watching the place brought the elder brother running.

Or at least sending a car.

The idea of using the British Government as a babysitter was very appealing.

Arthur, on the other hand, was content to play with his hot cocoa and ignore the admonishment.]

If you could teach him that particular lesson, I'd bring you back Russian launch codes.

[A joke. Probably. Maybe.]

Already have them.

[He informs her, dismissively, glancing up at her with a bright laugh that she may have never heard before. He rarely looks at all like his brother, but right now, yes. The resemblance is there.]

You may not have a wonderful grasp of how these things work, but the point is to get them not to launch.

[Teasing, friendly rather than cruel for once.]

I almost adopted, once upon a time.

Why I've never been interested in government work.

[So the Iceman can melt. It's something she expects a lot of people would like to know. It's also something she can't take advantage of, not without risking the protection Arthur's presence provides.

Nicely done, that.

She arches an eyebrow at the statement, the most surprise she will allow herself to show.]

I can't imagine it was the paperwork that turned you away from that path.

My partner-

[A mild shake of his head. He readjusts his hold on the cocoa, so he can reach to pick his own teacup up for a sip in the mean time.

Better. Bracing.]

It was a bit of a joke to even consider.

[Very interesting indeed.

Irene sips from her own teacup and glances over at her son.] As if this isn't?

Ah, well.

[Casually, so as not to upset the child. He doesn't realize his finger is fiddling with the ring band.]

[She is glad he doesn't argue the point, because this: her, Sherlock, and Arthur, and to an extent the rest of those caught in Sherlock Holmes' orbit, is a joke. It's absurd and accidental and almost makes Irene wish she could believe in a higher power. Because only a higher power could have that twisted a sense of humour.

Still, her eye is caught by the motion of Mycroft's hand, and Irene's eyes glance over at it, at the metallic gleam, then back at the elder Holmes brother's face.]

Funny, how of all the people in the world, I'm the least likely to sell your secrets now.

[It's not a threat, or even an idle observation. It's irony and a tacit offer all at once. Her gaze lands on Arthur for another moment, the boy having finished devouring his mangled toast and now trying to drink his hot cocoa by coating his hands in it and licking them. She laughs quietly.] You have me on a very tight leash, Mr. Holmes.

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