bakerstreet | Sensory deprivation meme

Sensory deprivation meme

the SENSORY DEPRIVATION meme:
You know those things you rely on to navigate you properly through life?
Senses? Yeah, well, kiss those goodbye.

(TRIGGER WARNING: This meme deals with the loss of senses:
blindness, inability to feel. If the concept of blindness, deafness
and/or the loss of any of your senses bothers you, please do NOT play this meme)

✖ Post with your character name/fandom/options for scenarios
(ie; het/slash fluff/smut) and your prompt.
✖ Use RNG to pick your numbers.
1-5 for regular senses, 6-10 for moral sense, 11-16 for cracky senses.

The Basic Five

1. Sense of Sight - Whether you woke up that way, had an accident, a brain tumor expanded or you had a bad reaction to something, you're now blind. Fully and completely. Watch out for that bu--*wince*

2. Sense of Smell - Did someone step in dog crap? It could be you, but you'd never know. You've lost your sense of smell. I guess there's no stopping by the roses for you, huh?

3. Sense of Hearing - "I'M NOT YELLING!!" Yes, yes you are. And no matter how loud you crank AC/DC, you're never hearing Highway to Hell again. Guess I shouldn't have gotten you the Stones compalition CD's, huh?

4. Sense of Taste - No, it doesn't taste like chicken. In fact, it doesn't taste like anything. Perfect time to get that friend that burns everything to cook for you - at least it'll make them happy and you can smile through the whole ordeal.

5. Sense of Touch - Where'd you get that bruise? Or that gaping knife wound? No clue. You have utterly lost the ability to feel anything, like your body is enveloped in fuzzy packing tape. Punch the wall all you want, you ain't gonna feel anything.

The Guiding Factors

6. Sense of Right and Wrong - Tripping people that get in your way? Taking candy from babies? Killing someone that hurt you and yours? All sound like pretty good ideas right about now. Your entire moral code has been thrown into the 'grey' area. There is no right or wrong, only what you want.

7. Sense of Decency - Things that just 'aren't done' are in play for you now. Evicting old ladies and orphans because they can't pay? Pff. Good. Lousy Mooching leeches. Hitting on that underage and naive little thing? Puh-leeze, they're an easy mark. Deflower, deport and debauch yourself to your heart's content.

8. Sense of Self - You don't even know who you are anymore. What are you doing with your life? What's it all mean? What the hell's it for? Why even bother to get up in the morning? Are you going to go try and 'find' yourself? Or just give up?

9. Sense of Preservation - Your life? Means about as much as a mouse fart. Why should you step out of the way of that speeding train? You were there first. Mouthing off to that huge, angry, overpumped steroid-faced goon sounds like a good idea too. He took your seat. And he smells.

10. Sense of Empathy - That ability that lets you put yourself in the shoes of others, to relate to them? Gone. No, you don't know what they're feeling, and quite frankly, you don't want to. You have your own things to deal with, and they're much more important. Why? Because they're yours.

The Quirky Ones

11. Sense of Humor - Wait, am I supposed to laugh now? You have to take your cue from those around you, laughing when they do, usually a little bit late and a little too long. Not even a fart joke will crack a smile.

12. Sense of Direction - You couldn't find your ass with both hands. Literally. You tried. And wound up getting thrown in the clink for inappropriate conduct with a nun. Don't drop the soa-- Too late.

13. Sense of Modesty - So what if you're using a belt as a skirt. It looks good, right? Bending over and showing off too much isn't an issue for you, neither is changing in the middle of the store if you just have to wear that cute little shirt now.

14. Sense of Fashion - Yes, you think a pink polka-dotted bikini top goes just smashingly with the neon green bellbottoms. Bubblewrap tops? Freakin' awesome. Put it on and flaunt it, and watch people's eyes bleed.

15. Sense of Timing - "What do you mean now's a bad time?" Yes, because you think trying to pick up a girl at her husband's funeral is a good thing. What? She's single. You're late to everything. A clock? Wassat? Strange, foreign words...

16. Mix and Match - You poor bastard, you've lost more than one sense. 2? 3? The whole lot? Who knows, that's up to you.

(reposted from memebells@lj, originally here)

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"Okay." She takes his hand and gently wraps the spoon around it. "Want me to help?"

She hesitates, then lowers her voice. The silverware has given her an idea. "And we might be able to get you a real knife, if you want. Keep it hidden within reach until you're out of here?"

He takes the spoon and the little container of beans. "I think I can manage..." He starts to eat, slowly. He never would have thought he would enjoy lima beans as much as he currently is, but he also hasn't eaten in so long. He's sure soon enough he'll be back to hating them.

"And a knife would be fantastic. Mine's somewhere, I had it in my boot. Not that I have any idea where my boots went."

"I'll find you a new one." She watches him for several seconds, her expression fond. She won't tell him unless she feels the need, but she's proud of him for trying to do so much. Even if he might falter a little here and there.

"Here. We forgot this." She leans toward him and tucks a napkin into his shirt.

What would Peggy think, she wonders, if Peggy saw him now?

James isn't sure what she did, but he thinks he can guess so he grumbles. He hasn't spilled anything on himself just yet, thanks. "I haven't spilled anything yet." Now that his hands are working again, he seems to be doing alright. "I think I'm managing, you should eat something too.

"Yet," she teases gently.

She sighs and reaches for her own dinner. She's still not where she was physically, but she's doing well. Though at this rate, James might still surpass her. "Ha. I've got better food. Mmm. Pasta and bread. Bet you're jealous."

She takes a bite, the levity fading. "Don't feel like you have to eat all of yours right now. It's okay if you don't."

James groaned when she told him what she had for dinner. "I can eat all this, I think, so long as you give me a bite of your bread." He hadn't had bread since before they'd gone on that fateful mission, he missed it so much.

"Hey now. I had to work my ass off to get to bread level." Or at least, Steve and Natasha had gotten it for her when she'd gotten back from the mission that had gone all wrong. "I'm not going to give you bread just because you ask." She shoves him gently in his leg; it's barely more than a push. "You have to make it worth my while."

"And you'd better make it fast, too. I'm hungry."

"I just want one bite," he says with a pout. He leans towards Sharon, reaching out to what he hopes is her shoulder. Instead, his fingers bump into Sharon's cheek then slips back into her hair. "Shit, sorry," he says, but he doesn't pull away.

"It's okay." The words come easily, but when his hand doesn't move, she stops and stares at him.

"Don't get me wrong," she says slowly. "I'm glad you're so mobile, but if you think this is worth some of my bread... Well..."

James hesitated then jerked away, turning his face away, "Sorry." He closed his eyes and curled his hands in his lap. "Keep your bread. You need it."

"I said it's okay." She frowned at him, confused by the sudden change. He'd touched her in one way or another since they first started working together. Why be bothered now?

Or maybe it was the blindness. For a moment, it seemed as if he might be reaching for something else.

Feeling bad, she tears off a piece of bread and presses it into his hand. "So you won't be mad when you see what I did to your hair."

He manages a small laugh when she puts the bread in his hand. "Thanks. And I get the feeling you're going to be getting better at it as time goes by." He brings the bread to his mouth but doesn't eat right away. Instead, he sits and thinks, rolling his feet gingerly, trying to keep the feeling in his toes. The lima beans are all eaten, and he's thinking about eating the fruit cup and the bread as well.

He's also thinking about the last time he saw Sharon's face. In that jungle, in the middle of a firefight. The gas, coming from a canister. He remembers shoving her out of the way, taking a cloud of the poison in the face. And the last thing he sees before the darkness takes him is Sharon's face, both angry and afraid, smeared with dirt and blood and who knew what else.

He wishes he could imagine her fearless, her blond hair clean and loose. But all he can see her as is angry and afraid and dirty. And he hates that that's all he can see when he imagines her in his mind.

She mistakes his thoughts for something else, and she scoots closer and reaches to take a hand. But he needs those to eat, and in the end, she settles on brushing his bangs aside. She hopes that the close contact will comfort him, though she isn't sure the contact is more or less awkward than when he was unconscious.

"It'll help that you'll be able to sit up," she admits, spotting another slightly tilted bit. It isn't as bad as it could have been, though. At least she hadn't cut him again.

James flinches when she touches him, but he immediately turns back to face her. "Sharon..." He immediately hesitates, literally biting his tongue to keep from speaking. "Can you... after you're done eating, can you send Steve in? I think... I think I need to talk to him."

"Sure." She eats more quickly, cleaning her plate as she watches him. Something had happened. Something she'd missed.

But in the end, she slides off the bed. "I can use a shower too, I guess." She grabs the bag of clothes the others had gotten her and slips into the hall. Spotting Steve, she calls him over. "James wanted a word. Stay with him until I'm back?"

Steve nods and gets up, "Yeah, sure." He looks a bit surprised that James wants to talk to him of all people, and that he would send Sharon away to do it. He heads into the room and pulls the door shut behind him.

James lifts his head. "Steve?"

Steve comes closer. "It's me." He clasps Bu- James on the shoulder and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Sharon said you wanted a word?"

She hadn't looked as happy as he'd expected her to look with James finally awake. He wonders if something had happened.

Edited 2014-11-03 14:13 (UTC)

James jumps when Steve touches him but looks up. He hesitates. He and Steve aren't close. Steve thinks of him as Bucky, James knows.

But he's sure as shit not going to talk about this with Natasha.

"You and Peggy were a thing, weren't you?" Bucky had thought so, anyways.

The question catches Steve off guard, but he recovers quickly. "We... I loved her, yeah. I think it was mutual." He speaks carefully. He and Peggy had danced around the subject before and after he'd come back. All they'd had besides sidelong glances were a promise of a dance and one too-short kiss.

"Why?"

Even as he asked, though, he suspected he knew.

"I... I think I like Sharon." James turns his face towards Steve a little. "I mean... I haven't really felt this sort of thing. Bucky has, the Soldier hasn't, and I didn't think I ever would, but..." He runs his hands down his thighs, squeezes his own knees. "How do I tell her, Steve?"

Even though the gist of what James said had been expected, the brilliant, if dorky, smile that alights Steve's face is slow. It doesn't fade as he grabs the chair and pulls it closer. "Have to admit, we've been giving her a hard time about having feelings for you. If Natasha were here, you two would probably already have a house together somewhere."

He realizes he's getting ahead of himself and clears his throat. "I suggest being forthright with her." Not that he'd had the guts to do that with Peggy. Bearing that in mind, he tries to keep thinking. "Maybe ask her out?" Of course, she'd rejected him when he'd asked. But then, knowing about him and Peggy as she had, maybe that was why.

This was much harder than it looked in films. At least he knew one thing. He sobers at the thought. "You have to tell her." He catches himself before he can call James by Bucky's name. "Of all the regrets I have, losing you and not telling Peggy how I felt were the biggest. And now that you're back, I'm down to one lone regret. Trust me. You don't want that. Just... Spit it out. Write it down and hand it to her. Play cheesy records for her until she understands. I'll help any way you need. You... You deserve to be happy, James. And Sharon hasn't left you for longer than her PT sessions since she got here. She cares about you. I think more than she'll admit. Natasha thinks the same."

Not that they'd been gossiping together.

Okay. Maybe a little gossip.

James opens his mouth to protest the 'I have you back' line but decides it's not the fuss. He closes his mouth then sighs, just a little.

"She really likes me?" Is all he manages to find the words to say. The thought seems crazy. He's fucked up by decades under HYDRA's thumb and she was the first person that trusted him, of course he would develop feelings for her. But she should hate him, realistically, even still. After all he had done, after their first meeting... He'd killed so many people and had never expected her forgiveness.

"She cares deeply for you." Steve frowns at him. "You think she wouldn't, after all she did to get you back here safe?"

James seems so... surprised. It breaks his heart.

"I should warn you, Natasha said that Sharon isn't great at- she called it 'emotional vulnerability.' But she needs to know how you feel."

"I mean, we're partners..." James shrugs. "We look out for each other. That's all I wrote it off as. Also I'm worth a lot to the CIA, they would want me safe here anyways. I think she's a lot more expendable to them, even if she is Peggy's niece.

Steve purses his lips together. He doesn't like to think anyone is expendable. The thought that it might be someone whom Peggy cares about is even more distasteful.

"She wasn't just concerned with your safety, you know. We were worried about her. She'd hardly leave you at first. The only thing that got her away for longer than a couple minutes was PT. Even then, she gets anxious about you." He pauses. "I've had partners before. So has Natasha. We know how it is. And in my opinion, there's something more there for the two of you."

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it's because he was seriously thinking about leaning in and kissing her, btw

It hasn't occurred to her yet that he might have feelings for her. She's obtuse when not pretending.

he has so many feelings for her. all the feelings.

She has feelings for him, too! She just hasn't articulated them even to herself.

Do you mind playing Steve? Or I can... steve isn't surprised at all by learning James has FEELS

Sure! I'll do my best!

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well it told me it posted and then i refreshed and it was gone...

I'm glad you checked! And better late than never. Hopefully this one goes through just fine!

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