bakerstreet | FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S MEME

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S

During the day, it's a place of joy. But you aren't here during the day. Maybe you've desperate for a bit of cash, and ignored the ominous warning on the newspaper ad. Maybe you've eaten at the pizzaria since you were a child, and thought that taking up a job here can't possibly go wrong. Or maybe you're just playing the game under your bed covers at 2am.

Because seriously, who the fuck would work here for more than one day.

This is a meme based of the new horror game, Five Nights at Freddy's. As you would expect, this is a horror meme. Therefore, warnings for blood, gore, mutilation, and if you're really fucking scared of living dolls and the like you might want to think twice before posting here. A playthrough for the brave, and a small snippet for the faint of heart:

You've been hired as the night guard at a pizzaria called 'Freddy Fazbear's Pizza', and it seems that the animatronics seem to get a bit... quirky at night. On your first day, a phone recording from the previous guards starts to play, and it explains that you can't let the animatronics see you, or they will force you into an animatronic suit. And with all those wires and cogs in an animatronic suit? Yeah, that isn't going to end well.

Unfortunately, you can't just close the doors and pray to whatever deity you believe in. You've got limited power (you know, budget cuts) to make it through from 12am to 6am. Checking security cameras to see where each animatronic is, turning on the hallway lights outside your guardpost, closing the doors- all of these take up power. Use it all up? Black out, and you're left exposed. Good luck surviving that.

The guy on the phone is good at giving you tips, at least-- but these robots don't just seem to be... robots. They only move when you're not looking, and when you are looking, they have a tendency to look straight at the screen. (People who've seen Bonnie at Cam 5 will know how batshit terrifying this is.) And they seem to be... rather intelligent. Wait, did that one just talk?

There's 4 animatronics- Bonnie the purple bunny, Chica the chicken, Foxy the fox and Freddy the bear. Foxy's special, in the sense that it's got a whole area to itself and if you don't watch it enough, it will run down the fucking hallway. Freddy rarely leaves the stage... but he will if you run out of power. Oops.

You've got to balance limited power, limited view and trust that lady luck is on your side-- just to survive to 6am.

Good luck, sport.

Options:

1. FIRST DAY: You and your new co-worker take the job as night security. Maybe you're childhood friends, maybe you're strangers to each other. But when the phone recording starts playing and you both realize this isn't exactly what you two signed up for, you'd better start working together. Fast.

2. OVERTIME: Maybe you're a sucker for the paranormal or you seriously have a death wish, but you haven't quit the job yet. Quite the contrary, in fact. You're working doubly hard. Except tonight, it seems that they're getting more... lively. Hey, did the rabbit just speak--

3. FUCK THIS SHIT: Hell no are you staying cooped up in the guard room. You're going out of there. Maybe you're gonna investigate the back rooms, maybe you're going to find someplace else to hide, or maybe, if you're actually sane, you're going to try finding a way to escape. Still, is that a the music box theme song you hear nearby? Maybe leaving wasn't the best idea...

4. THEY GOT YOU: Uh oh. Well, they're here. Time to say your last words before you get brutally slaughtered by walking talking animatronics.

5. CHECK PIRATE COVE GODDAMMIT: Hiring more than one guard was a mistake, because in the heat of the moment, you're arguing over what to do. Maybe they want you to close the door, but you've only got 20% left and 3 hours to go. Maybe they want to look at another camera. In any case, try to settle this dispute fast, or something else is going to do it for you.

6. WHY IS IT DARK: Oops, out of power. Quick, play dead!

7. JUST PLAYING THE GAME: You're not actually stuck in a life-or-death situation. You're just playing it on your computer. It's still fucking terrifying, though.

8. YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME: Or make your own prompts!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Garry heaves a sigh of relief and almost happily brings up the screen again so he can go through all the cameras. Okay, the bunny is in the dining area, everyone else seems fin-]

[WAIT NEVERMIND]

[A startled squeak comes from Garry's corner.]

Someone messed with Pirate's Cove!

_{[Jack finally gets out of his chair and strides over to look into the cameras with Garry.]}

They shouldn't be...that whole area's out of order. It could be dangerous--wires, tools scattered around. I don't even think there are lights back there.

You're right, I don't think there are either... But regardless.

[And he reaches up to point at the eerie mechanical face leering out from between two now parted curtains.]

Someone's moved... something. I don't think I recognize that one- an old model maybe?

Maybe...that's still not a very good place for a joke. Is there an intercom system somewhere in here?

No. I think there were budget cuts.

[This goddamn place is so cheap, he swears.]

Do you think yelling down the hall to stop it would be good enough?

It had better be! Frightening us is fine, but getting hurt on my watch isn't about to happen.

_{[He stomps across the small room and leans out the right-hand door, one hand on the light panel.]}

HEY, DOWN THERE! SPOOKY ANIMAL FRIENDS? COULD YOU KINDLY HAUNT ANOTHER PART OF THE BUILDING THAT ISN'T LIKELY TO BURN IT DOWN WITH ALL OF US INSIDE? THANK YOU!

That'll have to do...

...You have a very impressive set of lungs, Jack.

[Now please come back inside, old man, those halls worry him.]

Why, thankyou!

_{[As he makes his way back to the video panel he sucks in a deep breath and puffs out his chest.]}

I teach a drama class during the summer and one of the most important things I teach is to make sure EVERY SOUL IN THE HOUSE can hear you loud and clear!

_{[Jack no.]}

You know, that actually explains a lot about you. Maybe it's something I should look into...

[Wait, he has more important things to think about.]

Do you think we should keep checking the cove then just to make sure no one else is messing with anything there?

You should! It's not only for students--anyone who wants to learn a thing or two about acting is welcome to sign up. For a fee of course.

_{[He sits back down and tries to jiggle the chair's adjustment lever. It breaks off in his hand. Jack quickly tosses it under the desk and folds his arms behind his head.]}

Absolutely. To be sure they've cleared out.

[...He realy hopes no one notices that broken chair now. That wouldn't get taken out of their already miniscule paychecks, would it?]

[Either way, with one last hesitant glance towards the desk, Garry checks the cameras again.]

Well, it looks like the fox is still where it is... I wonder if that means they left?

Let's hope so. We can move him back to where he belongs in the morning. Those things are heavy, I'm not sure how many pranksters we're up against.

...If it's heavy, do you really think the two of us can lift it?

I imagine they'll help! _{[He pauses. Then he frowns.]} They had better help.

_{[Something catches his attention on the cameras.]}

Flip back to the kitchen...I think the games have begun.

The kitchen?

[Obediently, Garry switches over to it.]

Yes.

_{[As usual the camera was out but the tell-tale sounds of someone shuffling around in the kitchen could clearly be heard.]}

Here we go.

Why on earth would they be in the kitchen? We throw out all the pizzas at the end of the day...

[Which is one good thing, he supposes. You don't serve day old pizza in a business.]

Perhaps...to make a welcome-to-your-job cake!

_{[Jack lived in a perfect world, okay.]}

Or...or distract us from what they're really doing!

...I think it's more likely that second one than the first, however nice it would be.

[Garry is an optimist only to certain degrees, sadly.]

Do you think I should check the rest of the cameras to see if they're doing anything in the other rooms, then?

Absolutely! They're a crafty bunch, I'll give them that!

I just wish they were more prone to getting bored.

[Flicking, flicking- nnnnnnnn. That sure is a Bonnie over in the dining area.]

Moved again...

_{[Jack narrows his eyes.]}

Crafty and unnervingly strong. Do they do drug tests at this establishment?

...If they do drugs here, I'm leaving.

[Or...]

Maybe instead of that, it's some sort of program? I mean... you can make small toys walk around, maybe you can do the same with animatronics. I don't know...

Gary, I work in theater. Simple puppets alone can cost quite a lot. If this place can't afford a decent swivel chair there's no way they can afford such complicated machiner--what was that.

_{[His 'i know more about this thing than you do' tone dropped instantly as the old man turned and looked toward the left door.]}

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S MEME

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