bakerstreet | FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S MEME

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S

During the day, it's a place of joy. But you aren't here during the day. Maybe you've desperate for a bit of cash, and ignored the ominous warning on the newspaper ad. Maybe you've eaten at the pizzaria since you were a child, and thought that taking up a job here can't possibly go wrong. Or maybe you're just playing the game under your bed covers at 2am.

Because seriously, who the fuck would work here for more than one day.

This is a meme based of the new horror game, Five Nights at Freddy's. As you would expect, this is a horror meme. Therefore, warnings for blood, gore, mutilation, and if you're really fucking scared of living dolls and the like you might want to think twice before posting here. A playthrough for the brave, and a small snippet for the faint of heart:

You've been hired as the night guard at a pizzaria called 'Freddy Fazbear's Pizza', and it seems that the animatronics seem to get a bit... quirky at night. On your first day, a phone recording from the previous guards starts to play, and it explains that you can't let the animatronics see you, or they will force you into an animatronic suit. And with all those wires and cogs in an animatronic suit? Yeah, that isn't going to end well.

Unfortunately, you can't just close the doors and pray to whatever deity you believe in. You've got limited power (you know, budget cuts) to make it through from 12am to 6am. Checking security cameras to see where each animatronic is, turning on the hallway lights outside your guardpost, closing the doors- all of these take up power. Use it all up? Black out, and you're left exposed. Good luck surviving that.

The guy on the phone is good at giving you tips, at least-- but these robots don't just seem to be... robots. They only move when you're not looking, and when you are looking, they have a tendency to look straight at the screen. (People who've seen Bonnie at Cam 5 will know how batshit terrifying this is.) And they seem to be... rather intelligent. Wait, did that one just talk?

There's 4 animatronics- Bonnie the purple bunny, Chica the chicken, Foxy the fox and Freddy the bear. Foxy's special, in the sense that it's got a whole area to itself and if you don't watch it enough, it will run down the fucking hallway. Freddy rarely leaves the stage... but he will if you run out of power. Oops.

You've got to balance limited power, limited view and trust that lady luck is on your side-- just to survive to 6am.

Good luck, sport.

Options:

1. FIRST DAY: You and your new co-worker take the job as night security. Maybe you're childhood friends, maybe you're strangers to each other. But when the phone recording starts playing and you both realize this isn't exactly what you two signed up for, you'd better start working together. Fast.

2. OVERTIME: Maybe you're a sucker for the paranormal or you seriously have a death wish, but you haven't quit the job yet. Quite the contrary, in fact. You're working doubly hard. Except tonight, it seems that they're getting more... lively. Hey, did the rabbit just speak--

3. FUCK THIS SHIT: Hell no are you staying cooped up in the guard room. You're going out of there. Maybe you're gonna investigate the back rooms, maybe you're going to find someplace else to hide, or maybe, if you're actually sane, you're going to try finding a way to escape. Still, is that a the music box theme song you hear nearby? Maybe leaving wasn't the best idea...

4. THEY GOT YOU: Uh oh. Well, they're here. Time to say your last words before you get brutally slaughtered by walking talking animatronics.

5. CHECK PIRATE COVE GODDAMMIT: Hiring more than one guard was a mistake, because in the heat of the moment, you're arguing over what to do. Maybe they want you to close the door, but you've only got 20% left and 3 hours to go. Maybe they want to look at another camera. In any case, try to settle this dispute fast, or something else is going to do it for you.

6. WHY IS IT DARK: Oops, out of power. Quick, play dead!

7. JUST PLAYING THE GAME: You're not actually stuck in a life-or-death situation. You're just playing it on your computer. It's still fucking terrifying, though.

8. YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME: Or make your own prompts!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Claire can't help but give a light snort.]

Maybe that would confuse them enough to let us run. They can't be that fast.

[When she looks up, he's already started to slip out the left door.]

Wait, I meant my--

[...]

Well, there he goes.

[They had brought some kind of comm units, right? They weren't that dumb, right?]

[Leon hadn't really been the 'wait for it' kind of guy and to be fair, waiting for it usually ended up badly. How many people had they found locked in rooms they thought were safe only to find out they'd just trapped themselves in with no way out? He wasn't going to let that be them.]

I feel like I'm in some really bad kid's cartoon.

[As if they would ever go anywhere unprepared. Nope, not Leon or Claire.]

[Thank goodness. She snorts a little at his comment. Her tone is all amusement.]

A bad kid's cartoon where the friendly forest animals like to stuff you into suits? What channels were you watching as a kid?

What, you didn't?

[It was dark but he wasn't about to take a night job and not have his own flashlight. It might have given off his location but then again, it wasn't like the place was so big that they would have a lot of trouble finding him.]

I never imagined you as the princess kind.

Less gowns, more robots. Don't call them princesses though, you'll offend them.

[She switches cameras as Leon moves, switching back to the main stage and Pirate Cove often. That curtain... is it creeping open bit by bit?

Flipping to the main stage shows most of the animatronics look like they're happy to stand in their one little spot so far.]

This is the time you're giving me details on growing up in the Redfield house? Any over the breakfast knife training?

[He tries to listen in between their words but so far, it's surprisingly quiet and Claire would give him a heads up if anything moved. Still, he keeps his pace careful, weary. He wasn't afraid but he wasn't going to return wearing a bunny suit, either.]

You started it, just remember that. Knives were more of a lunch thing.

[Speaking of, the humor drops out of her voice in the next breath.]

I'm pretty sure something is peeking out around that curtain now. I don't have a clue what it is but it doesn't exactly have a friendly smile.

What's it trying to do just opening a curtain? [No, he already had his answer.] Keep an eye on the other cameras. It's drawing us there. It's either working to separate us or I'm going to walk in to a fun surprise. Probably both. How many are missing from their spot?

[Not being afraid doesn't mean he shouldn't be prepared. He was walking into something, that much was obvious.]

None of them were a moment ago.

[Switching back though...]

Okay, so now the duck is gone. How fast did they say these things moved?

Slower than me, I'm hoping. [He sighs as he continues to move through the dark.] A duck? Am I really about to go against a duck?

[But that might mean two of them were there. The bear stayed on the stage, right? So, if he was the one opening the curtain, then the duck could be anywhere.] See if you can find it. Don't forget to check the doors, the cameras didn't cover them.

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S MEME

Don't rush so eagerly towards your demise, Leon.

He ain't afraid of no ghost. Or, you know, moving bunnies. He figures he can take all four

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