floating lantern meme

[misandrist]

FLOATING LANTERN MEME

>WE'RE DOING THIS SHIT AGAIN CUZ IT'S BEEN A MONTH
>SO DON'T BITCH ABOUT MEMES BEING REPEATED
>LAST TIME on "I gave that bitch a lantern, bitches love lanterns"
>so yeah same rules as last time
>you're on a awesome gondola with one other person
>you can't escape
>basically this is the floating lantern scene from Tangled
>if you don't know what that's like here's the scene everyone creams their pants over 
>SPOILERS IT'S CHEESY AS FUCK
>and it's really fucking romantic but hey it can be platonic too because why the fuck not
>I swear to God if you post kids fucking in a boat I am going to punch you in the gonads
>HAVE AT IT.

Comments

[fuckincakewake]

[ Laughing at how seriously Jake is taking this, waving the issue aside. ]

What, like you don't perform in bed? Kidding! Oh, please, you're doing fine with me, why would dealing with them be any different? Just cause they wanna jump your bones- they'll probably be way more forgiving of your charming faux-pas that way, right?

[shitknickers]

[He buries his face in his hands again, and this time stays there.]

This is not a conversation I was at all prepared for.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Reaches over to pat Jake on the shoulder. ]

C'mon, Jakey. Pailing is a part of romance. You can't REALLY tell me you never thought about filling the proverbial bucket with either of them.

[shitknickers]

[His hands still on his face, he shakes his head.]

It has crossed my mind a time or two, yes, but it's still hardly the forefront of my thoughts on the matter.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Scoots on over so she can plant herself next to Jake, sling an arm over his shoulders. ]

.. Wanna keep going with the pros and cons list? We don't have to say the sexy stuff.

[shitknickers]

[He looks reasonably miserable in this moment.]

I haven't come up with any better ideas, so I suppose carry on.

[fuckincakewake]

[ That's as much encouragement as she's ever gonna get! Goes back to counting off on her fingers. ]

Pros for Strider- He's never, ever gonna cheat on you because holy shit, uh I don't think it's possible for him to be smitten with anyone else, dude or lady. Con- um like.. did I mention clingy.

Janey! Pros- She will bake lots of delicious foods. Cons- uh well the Batterbitch is the main one that comes to mind. She doesn't want Janey alive, let alone dating, I bet.

[shitknickers]

[He gives her another withering look.]

Is Strider truly that interested in me?

[And he quirks a grin.] Well obviously part of the package there is to keep her safe, then. Not that I wouldn't do the same regardless of how I were to file my taxes.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Nervous little laugh back cause. well, is that a serious question? ]

Duh he is. When Di-Strider likes something, he gives it his full attention and that something's been you.

Anyway, Janey's not some damsel in distress, you know! She can fight as well as you and me and Strider too!

[shitknickers]

[He looks so awkward right now.]

Bugger this all for a lark.

Oh believe you me, I know. She'd be quite cross with me to hear me thinking I needed to protect her. And it's not a need, just... [Shrugs.] A want, should she need it. You, too. And Strider, though I imagine he'd remove one of my fingers for it.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Laughs at that visualization, nod. ]

Yeah, Dirk would definitely rather be saving you than the other way around, if you catch my drift.

[ Reaches over and ruffles Jake's hair. ]

And I'm a big girl too, I look after myself just fine, don't I?

[shitknickers]

And I think nothing less of any of you, it's just a simple 'should the need arise'.

And if you ignore the fact that your liver will cease to function by the time you reach thirty, I do suppose I can afford you that.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Rolls her eyes, everyone blows the drinking stuff out of proportion. ]

You should embark on a real adventure and let me get you schwasted!

[shitknickers]

[He smiles.] Perhaps when we are not on a boat in the midst of a lake.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Slides her hand into the water, testing the temperature. Straights up, thoughtfully. ]

I dunno.. Drunk swimming sounds pretty fun..

[shitknickers]

...Roxy. [Face.]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Griiiiinnnn. Raises one foot tentatively, like she's just gonna step out for a quick swim. ]

[shitknickers]

Roxy!

[Nope, he's grabbing you around the middle and sitting smack in the middle of the boat with you in his lap, instead.]

Confound it, woman, you are plum crazy.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Little squeak when Jake grabs her. Now sitting properly in his lap while the boat attempts to stabilize itself from that momentary struggle.

Innocently peers back at Jake. ]

.. Okay, this is kinda past the dangerously romantic stage, just so you know.

[shitknickers]

[Face.]

Not another word.

[fuckincakewake]

I mean, I'm in your lap!

[shitknickers]

I'm well aware, thank you.

[fuckincakewake]

I know you're from the middle of nowhere, but us humans (trolls too) consider that to be a pretty romantic gesture.

[ Ducks her face in to nip at Jake's neck playfully- Roxy's you a little brat. ]

Just thought I should let you know.

[shitknickers]

[He jolts at the nip, and looks briefly scandalized.]

Well I suppose then, that it's also a romantic gesture to go throwing oneself out of a boat for an inebriated swim? Seeing as that is what has landed us in such a compromising position.

[Playing along, when she recoils from her nip to his neck, he follows her and presses his lips to her forehead.]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Blushes her favorite shade of pink at the kiss. Okay stumbling on words, english, that is a language she speaks, she uh well uh. fuck shit say something. anything! LITERALLY ANYTHING YOU SAY NOW WILL WORK JUST SAY SOMETHING ]

I'll show you compromising positions.

[ Oh what the fuck, drunk brain. ]