bakerstreet | The Horrible Pick-Up Line Meme

Entry tags:

[meme] crack

The Horrible Pick-Up Line Meme

The [Horrible] Pick Up Line Meme So there's that guy/girl/whatever you've been eyeing this entire time. And now you've finally gotten the courage to go up to them and actually talk like a normal person instead of being a huge creeper. However, all you can think of are pick up lines. Horrible ones at that. Good luck with that, buddy, 'cause you're on your own.

how to do

Post with a character putting name and fandom in the subject
Hit up other people's characters with horrible pick up lines ("Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?", etc)
Character reactions can be either:
- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON??????
- /equally horrible pick up line
or whatever the player feels up to doing.
If you are out of ideas check this site out
All else fails, JUST HAVE FUN.

Originally by

mememaker

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dorian can look charming as hell when he wants to, and he does so now, offering his bright smile and a return wave.]

God, no; don't encourage him.

[Because Kennex has to deal with Dorian every day and if his ego got any bigger he wouldn't fit in the patrol car.]

He's plenty mature. For a robot.

[Yeah, that's just going to get an arched eyebrow from her.]

Aren't robots supposed to be pinnacles of maturity?

Nah, they're either just sentient typewriters.

Or. Dorian.

Think I figured out why they retired his line.

[That said with an 'I see you looking at me' at the DRN.]

Because they pull pranks on their partners?

I'm beginning to wonder just whose side you're on.

I'm not on anyone's side, I'm just a spectator.

A spectator to the fact that DRNs have terrible sense of humor, apparently.

[Said a little loudly and toward where Dorian stood in the crowd. ]

I could buy you a drink, you know, the non-hitting-on kind.

I wouldn't say it's terrible. Now childish...

[Have the most faux-innocent face ever.]

My mother always warned me about accepting drinks from strangers.

[She's just going to casually put her hand out.] I'm Clara.

Yeah, well, he's technically five. I think. Close enough.

[It's normal not to know your partner's birthday, right? Especially when it was complicated by having been decommissioned for a while.]

Hey, I'm not a stranger. I'm a cop.

[He takes the hand, briefly, with a wry grin. ]

Kennex. John.

Yeah, that definitely sounds like a five year old.

[She wouldn't know, considering Alex and Jack have always been scarily close.]

I'm sure you say that to all the girls.

It's nice to meet you, John.

Yeah, I'm surprised they let him in here. He should be back at Rudy's with a...coloring book or something.

[There's no way that's not hilarious. At least to John.]

Nah, if I'm arresting them I go with something more like 'You have the right to remain silent.'

[Don't ask how often he's had to say that to pretty women.]

So, at the risk of being cliche, [Like that has ever stopped him.] what's a nice married lady like you doing in a place like this?

More like jigsaw puzzles. Crayons in the hands of five year olds...it doesn't end well unless they're supervised.

[If walls could speak, the walls of her house would say "You don't want to know how long I was scrubbed at."]

My husband's been out of town for a few weeks. [More like months, but she knows if she says that she'll start getting questions and he'll probably figure out that she's that woman the media's been trying to get a statement from for months about OmniCorp's latest project.] My mom's watching my son for the day and I decided to have a martini before I go back to being a mommy.

How about you? What's one of the city's finest doing here?

I don't want to imagine him with a puzzle. You should see him with a case.

[Meaning, he's almost as dogged as John himself.]

[Yeah, wow. Not just a married lady, but doing the whole mom thing, too. Shit there are actually normal people in the world. Work as a cop long enough and you almost forget that. Or maybe he'd forgotten it during the coma.

Solved a case. Wanted a drink, but I wasn't going to cop bar with him tagging along.

It sounds like he'd get along with my husband.

[She'd hardly call her life normal these days. Maybe a couple months ago, but as it stood right now? Not a chance. And she's pretty sure that once Alex gets home, normal's going to be even further out of reach.]

They aren't that unfriendly, or at least the one my husband drags me to isn't.

Only if your husband likes talking about his 'feelings'.

[Whatever those are. John claims to not have them.]

I've got no problem with cop bars. I have a problem with him ruining my mojo.

[Such as now. And yeah, he could have refused the dare, but...honor.]

Okay, maybe not so much, then.

[Have the most skeptical look ever, John.]

I don't know what your mojo's usually like, but if I were single and someone used that line on me, I'd definitely bite.

Trust me, there's a reason they retired his line.

[Not that they were crazy, they were too damn curious. ]

Hey, my mojo's fine. Just. You know. A little rusty.

Because of feelings or because of potentially throwing off other people's mojo?

[Mmhmm. Yeah. She totally believes that.]

Last I heard, the best solution for rusty mojo is a decent-to-good wingman.

Mostly the feelings.

Rudy wouldn't know about mojo if it bit him on the leg.

[Who's side is she even on?]

Know where I could find one? Because I don't think this one's working out.

[She's not sure if she should even ask who Rudy is.

And once again, no sides, just a spectator.]

Just because he accidentally sent you to a married woman doesn't mean he isn't working out. Just that his radar needs a bit of fine tuning. [She would volunteer Jack considering Alex's wingman days are over. But knowing Jack, him and John would probably end up one upping each other to nab women and she refuses to let that happen.]

[Rudy. You know, the geek responsible for 99 of Kennex's problems. Number one being...Dorian himself. Then there was the guyliner incident. Yeah. Let's not talk about Rudy.]

That's not the only thing about Dorian that needs some recalibration.

[Judging by his tone of voice, Kennex would like to do it with a hammer.]

He probably knew. His idea of a joke.

I get that you're not Mr. Sensitivity, but sometimes the best way to deal with that stuff is to talk it out.

[Because no one should have hammertime recalibrations.]

Next time you should make sure that there's a "no married women" clause.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Horrible Pick-Up Line Meme

no subject

no subject

no subject

ack! I thought I responded to this forever ago. :|

things happen!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject