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(other-wordly)
The Other-Wordly Meme
Words are magical things; they can have so many lovely connotations and varied histories.
Words have family trees just like people. They are linked to each other.
Some words are full of flavor and color and describe things you never suspected there were words for.
Words are why we're here.
The meme is simple: post a comment with your muse's name and canon in the subject line.
List any preferences you may have ("No Shipping," "No Smut," etc.), if you decide to leave the next step up to responders.
Responders (or original posters, if they so decide), go to the Other-Wordly blog and hit 'Random' until you get a word. Use the word as a prompt to write up an RP scenario. Do this several times, if you like. Mix and match. Have fun with it!
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He knew relief when he looked to his side then, and found Bilbo sitting near him, even after the monstrous things he had told him, after the manner in which he treated him and cast him aside when the hobbit wanted nothing but to help him. He knew it by the hold in his hand, warm and an anchor, feeling thin but strong like Elven Rope, and he learned relief when, upon sliding his eyes close, he felt himself freed from the madness of the gold, and his body surrendered gladly to whatever should come next.
But a new day came next, and another, and Thorin's eyes opened again, and the king welcomed that just as well. Yet all those times did not compare to the feeling that washes through him now, too grand and strong for him not to express in his face, as it lights up and unfurls into a soft smile, or in his breath, sharp and not so quiet as he exhales deep and shakily. He turns then, until he is facing Bilbo, and carefully moves his other arm until his palm rests over the hobbit's hand, adding to the clasp of their fingers where they hold onto each other.]
Then I must present my apologizes. [His voice is almost melodic in the way the tone wavers, but if anything it carries in it no more than the elation veining through him right at that instant.] For when I spoke of your journey back to Bag End, I thought that was what you so hoped for, now that Erebor has been returned to us. There is nothing I hope for more than to see you stay beside me, yet it is not as strong as my wish that you have whatever it is that you want.
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And then Bilbo finds himself smiling too, caught between pleasure and embarrassment and a weight of warmth in his heart as though there is nothing more now to fear. ] No, it is my fault; I should have been frank about it, only I could not bring myself to speak before now. [ After all that passed between them, he had thought, what right did he have to speak what was in his heart? Yet now he has, and nothing will ever be the same again: he is so very far away from the place where he has lived all his life, among people that are not his own, and he shall have to find some place here for himself if he is to be comfortable with his choice, and Bilbo has no idea what that should be yet. But none of that matters truly, not so long as he can stay by Thorin's side. ]
I am truly happy— [ His voice sticks briefly and Bilbo looks down, clears his throat. ] I am truly happy that your wish and mine are the same in this. I was lost when I saw you so terribly hurt, you know. I don't think I could bear to lose you.
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Still there are words he wishes to say, things he had not managed when lying in his wounds and blood. Things of perhaps little importance now, or quite the contrary, all the more meaningful to say now that Thorin is no longer counting the minutes, the seconds to see his life's end. He is not frowning but his eyebrows knit together, in a mix of worry and repentance that is embedded in his voice just as well.] I thought... you resented me. For what I did and said to you.
[And what terrible moments those had been. Even now, as Thorin tries to remember them, it seems to him as if it had been another person entirely, and not himself, who had treated someone so dear to him in such a horrible manner. In a way, he knows. It had been someone else; he had been someone else. He forces the memories away for now, not wanting to sour the moment with the ache that they bring.] When I woke I did not expect to see you there. I was sure you would be long gone, all chance of reconcilement leaving with you.
[A deep, quiet breath, and he steps closer, enough that he can lean down to rest his forehead against Bilbo's, much more softly than he would anyone else. Partly because he does not want to hurt the Hobbit, who is after all not as sturdy as other Dwarves, and partly because this time it holds an entirely different meaning to it, and he wishes to convey that through the intimate gesture.] I'm glad you stayed; I fear I would not have lived were you not there.
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But he does not want to be apologized to, not now; he does not want Thorin burdened with regrets, with things that were already spoken and forgiven when he lay so near to death's door. Bilbo would be quite happy to forget the shadow of madness that ever lay across Thorin's mind. But it is not that simple either: to forget would be a betrayal greater than his theft of the Arkenstone had ever been, for if he can make even the smallest effort to safeguard Thorin's wellness, his wholeness of mind, he must not fail in his vigilance.
With his small hands he touches Thorin's jaw, framing his face carefully between them, feeling his heart leap with a sort of shivering delight at the soft prickle of his beard beneath his fingers. ] You cannot think me so small-minded as to leave a dear friend in his greatest hour of need. And I could not take credit for your life, except to say that if wishing could give you long and happy years you would have a thousand of them now.
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He finds it is within his reach, at least, to rest one hand on Bilbo's shoulder, while with the other he plays at the tips of his hair, almost distracted enough for it to seem casual, even if it is enough for a lump to form at the pit of his own stomach.] My mistake lies in the fact that I thought you no longer saw me as a dear friend.
[He had not been himself, he knows this now, but others, he knows, would have abandoned him for much lesser offenses. It had just been yet another time that the hobbit had proven his own worth, in his astounding ability to forgive, to simply let go of a grudge with such ease, as if nothing had ever happened. Thorin sees in that a perfect mirror of himself.
He chuckles softly, the sound ever so foreign coming from his lips; and he opens his eyes.] I do not ask to live so long. To live for now is more than enough.
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It pleases him that Thorin speaks of living for now. Perhaps it means he has found at last that which he sought over all the unimaginable years, all that drove and tormented him. Perhaps there is happiness for him here in the Lonely Mountain after all, when for a time it seemed there would be nothing but violence and death. His hand comes back to Thorin's cheek and Bilbo looks up at him from beneath his lashes, his head still bowed forward a little to let Thorin's brow rest against his. ] That is as hobbits see things. A very sensible outlook, I think, not to worry so over what the future brings.
[ For it would come whether or not you were prepared for it, and catch you up in its bright long arms, and fling you out into a waiting world. His gaze drops again to the hollow of Thorin's throat where the pulse beats, about the highest point of him that he could kiss without standing up on his toes, and Bilbo does so, tremulous and unthinking. ]
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He tries to breathe but it is nearer to a gasp, and everything that could pass his throat, whether it is air, a dry swallow he forces down or even his very heart as it lunges up to his mouth, is stolen by Bilbo's lips through that spot where they rest so comfortably. There is nothing from him for a moment, not a single movement, and after he closes his eyes for a good few seconds he finally tilts his head, rests his cheek against those soft locks of hair, sliding down the side of the hobbit's face so their cheeks touch, their temples, their noses brush and they are close enough that Thorin can breathe the very air that comes out of Bilbo's lungs.
He opens his eyes then, and stays like that until Bilbo is looking back at him, warmth and surprise evident in that one single gaze. And when he is sure that there is no attempt to pull away, his fingers become bolder, sifting through hair and cradling the back of Bilbo's neck, coaxing him to tilt his head as he closes the distance and presses their lips together.]
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It feels like a very long time since Bilbo has kissed anyone. It has been: he is circumspect, for what would be the point of kissing someone he didn't yearn for as much as he yearns for Thorin? How could it possibly feel like this, frightening and so wonderful? He shivers and clings to Thorin's shoulders, small hands finding a hold in his clothing, the press of his mouth at first light and chaste; but then he grows bolder and he nibbles a little, softly, at Thorin's lower lip. He doesn't know, yet, what he would like, how it is that dwarves kiss, and now he is thinking again, perhaps thinking too much, but not enough to shy away. He has wanted this too badly; he can learn whatever needs to be learned. ]
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But the slowness of the contact lasts no longer than it does for Bilbo to nibble on his lip. The tide unfurls from deep within him, claws its way up his ribs and slips out into the kiss, a loud and gasped rumble, his whole body tensing and his fingers curling tighter, one on his shoulder, the other into his hair. He pulls Bilbo closer, presses his mouth harder against the other while parting his lips, as if coaxed to do so by Bilbo's teeth.]
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There is a shivering delight in him, a thirst unquenchable; he wants to touch and explore and know this joy forever, never again to be parted, never to know even a shadow of parting. ]
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He seems to quite have forgotten himself by now, surrendering fully to the feelings and letting go entirely of thoughts. Yet he is reminded, painfully so, when he snakes his arm around Bilbo's waist a little too harshly than he ought to, and the injury is strained beyond dull and tolerable ache. The groan he lets out is none too pleased, as he finds himself pulling from the kiss rather abruptly, eyes closed and eyebrows knit together, as he tries to calm his labored breath into something that doesn't feel like the wound could just split open with each inhale.]
I think... [He says after a while, but the voice is coarse and he must clear his throat before speaking again.] I'm afraid I have gotten a little carried away.
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But he seems to recover himself after a few moments, while Bilbo waits worried and holding onto him, ready to offer any comfort and assistance he could possibly provide. ] I do apologize. It was too taxing for you. [ He would be mortified if he weren't so worried. As it is--well, he could not say he regrets the kiss, not after those few moments of utter bliss, only that Thorin should have felt any pain. He ought to have waited; in fact, Thorin ought to be in bed where Bilbo can look after him properly. ] I'll help you inside. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you lie down, Thorin; this is no time for any--any activities.
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Thorin cannot help the look he shoots at Bilbo at his words, an eyebrow arched, a smile playing at the corner of his lips, though small, barely there, as he is still feeling the wave of tension coming from his side.] I do hope not to have to wait another week to indulge in such activities. [Still, even with the displeased tone at having to part, he does. Bilbo is right, even if Thorin is beyond the point of light stubbornness when it comes down to it. He turns back towards the room, one arm resting over Bilbo's shoulders, though hardly leaning any of his weight against the hobbit, and taking steps much slower and cautious towards his bed instead.]
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[ He's glad that Thorin recognizes that now as well, or at least that he isn't arguing against lying down anymore. Bilbo hates seeing him in pain for a moment longer than he should be. He needs someone to look after him more closely, and if, as it turns out, Thorin likes to have him about, then surely he is the best person for the job.
So he pulls back the bedcovers for him and anxiously pushes a pillow or two into place before letting Thorin lower himself down to the mattress. ] Do be careful. [ His fingers touch Thorin's brow gently, pushing some of the heavy black strands of hair away from his eyes. ]
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For a moment he entertains the thought of asking Bilbo to continue, but he is no child. He knows that the pain is only gone because he is not making any effort currently. So he lowers himself onto the mattress, not entirely lying down as he had left his pillows piled up against the headboard, though he is not completely sitting either. There is a soft sigh, between relieved and resigned at his situation, but he supposes he ought to be thankful. At least he lives.
His blinking is slow for a moment, then he reaches for Bilbo's hand, wrapping his fingers around smaller ones and bringing it down so that it is resting over his own chest.] Thank you, Bilbo.
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You may want to save your thanks; I'm afraid you're going to be quite stuck with me until you are better. [ Someone is going to have to make sure he stays in bed where he belongs. ]
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Shall I take it back, then? [His voice is already lower and softer, a smile on his lips then. He is sure to thank Bilbo's presence too, even if objectively he knows the both of them are equally stubborn, and that may very well lead to one frustrating moment or another. He would be thankful even then.]