bakerstreet | it took so long to get me back on my feet } THE RECOVERY & RELAPSE MEME

it took so long to get me back on my feet } THE RECOVERY & RELAPSE MEME

the recovery & relapse meme

I. physical

⑴ illness | are you being nursed back to health, or struggling with a repeat appearance of the symptoms?
⑵ injury | bones knit and wounds heal. but sometimes, they reopen at the worst possible time.
⑶ addiction | kick that bad habit! or, you know, not.
⑷ wildcard

II. mental/emotional

⑴ relationship | things are finally looking up for you and your friend/partner/colleague! or oops, nevermind, your bond is falling apart at the seams.
⑵ worldview | you're trading in your rose-colored glasses for a pair with a much more jaded tint....or the reverse.
⑶ trauma | either healing from a painful experience, or succumbing to the damage it inflicted upon you.
⑷ fixation/obsession | you've gotten much better about controlling yourse— ooh! shiny!
⑸ wildcard

III. spiritual

⑴ absolution | your faith (in the world, in the god of your choice, whatever) has been given a much needed boost....
⑵ corruption | ....that, or it's degenerating rapidly, possibly into something much more warped.
⑶ wildcard

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[Levi would give Ginia a look if he wasn't so tired. He'd also smile were he capable of that, but he isn't really, so he intones flatly:]

Ladies first.

[Erwin takes his attention again then, and he helps him sit up, though he's only got one arm to do it with. This is why he needs Ginia here, really - with a broken arm, he can't manage Erwin himself. The cadets are nearby and could help, but he'd rather it be Ginia than them. They shouldn't have to see Erwin until he's stronger, more recovered. He's the commander, after all.]

Don't take it too fast, moron.

[Ginia snorted dismissively. Aside from the gash in her side, already stitched up and bandaged, there was nothing else to take care of. What she needed were painkillers, but who didn't?

She looked at Erwin's back, her calm expression briefly fading into deep concern. When did wings become such an accepted sight that not having one seemed stranger? Ginia began to pull the bloody bandages away, working as carefully as possible. If his ribs were broken, he could sleep on his stomach or side while his wing grew back in.

He would need pain medication. Even better was sedating him outright and leaving him in the care of the clinic while his wing grew back, but he was in no condition to be moved. And would Levi even allow that? No, probably not. Too tired to keep on a calm mask, Ginia's expression fell into tight-lipped worry.

When the last bandage was removed and discarded, Ginia reached for a towel, soaked it in lukewarm water, and began wiping blood away.]

[ With help, Erwin is able to sit up, albeit not straight--not without someone else to hold him that way, at least, but he moves obediently as directed. He's been injured before, and he's been cared for before--though it's never been quite as bad as this. (Not yet, anyway.) His head is spinning already, but when Ginia begins to wipe at the blood around where his wing had once been, that new pain brings a little more clarity. He clenches his jaw tight, refusing to make a sound beyond a sharp inhale through his nose. He can't see Ginia, but he can see Levi, and he takes stock of Levi's injuries in turn.

Not trusting his voice at the moment, he instead meets Levi's eyes, raising his brows. Tell him about it, Levi. Take his mind off his own injuries for a moment and let him know the extent of yours. Even without being told, he can guess at his own. He knows the feeling of broken ribs, but the pain in his back is entirely strange, and more excruciating than he could have imagined. He knows that it must mean something severe happened to his wings.

However long this may put him out of commission, he wants to know what happened--not only to Levi and Ginia, but to the cadets as well. ]

[Levi helps support Erwin, letting him lean on his good shoulder with his arm around his waist. It's not comfortable - for any of them really, but it'll have to do while Ginia changes the dressing on the wound. He can see how much Erwin is in pain, but he doesn't draw attention to it. They'll have to figure out a way to lessen it.

It isn't hard to guess at the look in his eyes, and Levi almost doesn't answer - but it'll at least be a distraction, even though he doesn't want him to worry.]

Broken arm, bashed open my head on something. Might have fucked up my ankle again, can't tell. Everything hurts right now.

[a pause]

Though probably not as much as you.

[That Erwin is still conscious is a testament to his strength. That all of them are still awake and holding on is a testament to their strength. Or stubbornness. Or idiocy. The lines between the three are often blurry.

Ginia cleans off the last bit of dried blood and takes a good look at his wound. There's a ragged wound over his shoulder blade, the jagged remains of his wing bone jutting out. She glances up at Levi, quickly looks away.

She bandages and tapes carefully around the wound, leaving a small opening for when his wing bones begin growing back out. If it weren't Erwin, it might almost be interesting to see how the wings and feathers would grow back.

When she's done as much as she can, Ginia looks at Levi and signs.]

/I left an opening for when his wing bones begin regrowing. We need to get him pain medication as soon as possible./

[ Erwin is leaning heavily on Levi by now, relying on him for support. Levi would easily be able to hold him up like this normally, but with one arm it may be a bit more difficult. Levi's list of injuries is impressive. He should rightfully be in bed resting, too, but Erwin knows well that Levi won't have that until he's satisfied that Erwin is being well taken care of. Even after years of experiencing it, the depth of Levi's loyalty is still remarkable.

He has to close his eyes as Ginia works, his vision swimming. His breathing had been ragged to begin with, but he is desperately trying to regulate it now, swallow, even breaths in and out. He feels his hand rest over Levi's nearest knee, fingers curling around it as tight as he can make them, which isn't quite tight enough to distract him, especially when he feels the muscles in his arm quivering, strained, weak. It's good that he has a high tolerance for pain. (He'll lose more than a hundred of the men he leads beyond the wall the day he cuts his own arm off, but he'll bring the rest back before he collapses from blood loss.)

With his eyes shut tight, he misses Ginia's explanation to Levi, but that's just as well. He probably wouldn't understand very well at the moment, anyway. ]

If you are finished [ he manages tightly ] I should lay down again.

[He's essentially hugging Erwin close to himself, arm around his lower back to help support him. It'd be easier with both arms, but he just has to make due.

Levi rests his chin on Erwin's shoulder as Ginia works, shifting slightly once to watch her. The wound is gruesome, and the look she gives him isn't an encouraging one. His grip tightens on Erwin the more he clearly struggles for breath under the pain. It hasn't escaped his notice that the hand on his knee is Erwin's right hand, and that its usual strength is gone.

He speaks to Ginia before helping Erwin lay back down.]

Since you're the most mobile, you'll have to get it.

[with her help they re-situate Erwin, pulling up the sheets again. Levi resumes his seat on the bed, feeling as though he could half collapse right there himself.]

Hang in there, you asshole.

/I'll see what I can get./

[She's not hopeful, but anything is better than nothing and the clinic may be more generous if a missing wing is the injury.

Standing on shaky legs, Ginia from Erwin to Levi and back to Erwin. Maybe she's a sentimental fool when she shouldn't be, maybe it's weakness and exhaustion making her delirious, but she stiffly leans in and gives both men a quick peck to the forehead.]

/Try to rest while I'm out, Levi./

[Ginia waves and leaves the room before anyone else can say anything. It's a long, painful walk to the clinic, and she makes quite the sight with her hands covered with blood. But she waits in line with everyone else and when the doctor on staff is free, she explains the situation, leaving out names.

With low stocks and heavy injuries all around, it takes some negotiating, but she's able to get a few tablets of Vicodin for Erwin and some generic pain medication for Levi.

Once she's back at the apartment, she prepares a glass of water for both men and returns to the bedroom to check on them.]

[ Erwin isn't exactly more comfortable when he lays down again, but at least he doesn't feel quite so strained by sitting up. His eyes slide open again at Levi's words, and he gives him a wry smile. ]

It will take more than this to kill me, Levi.

[ He doesn't know exactly what Ginia is going out to get--more medical supplies, presumably--but before he can ask she's bidding both of them farewell with a kiss to the forehead. He accepts his by directing his smile at her, but it's Levi's reaction that proves to be the most amusing thing. And he has to agree with her parting statement. ]

You should rest. Your injuries are nothing to be dismissive about.

[ His eyes slide closed again. It's difficult to keep them open, even if it's easier to concentrate on something other than the pain that way. ]

Edited 2014-01-29 17:56 (UTC)

[An unusual look of thorough bewilderment slides over him when Ginia kisses his forehead. Levi's not sure anyone would ever risk being that familiar with him. Hange, maybe, if she were the forehead kissing type (which she notably is not), but only to rile him up. He's too drained to do much more, or say anything about it.

Levi waves her out tiredly, hoping that she won't collapse in the street. Maybe he should've made one of the cadets go with her. His attention turns back to Erwin. He wants to wait until she returns, but that could take some time. He's not sure he'll be able to stay awake for her.]

...not sure I'll have a choice.

[If Levi or Erwin were awake at her return, Ginia might have chided them for not resting. But as both were already asleep, she simply leaves the glasses of water on the nightstand along with the two containers of medicine, directions clearly labeled. Carefully, Ginia removes the bowls of water and takes them out to the kitchen.

Already on her last legs, Ginia makes her way to the couch and collapses on it. She stretches out as best she can, breathing a little shallow and labored as she tries to find a comfortable position. Then finally allowing herself some weakness, Ginia falls asleep.

She sleeps poorly. Her lips move wordlessly in silent mumbles and murmurs, she shifts and turns. The draft runs through her mind again, the ambush on the first wave. She sees Levi and Erwin being set upon by a pack of shift hunters, Erika taking a sword slash across the torso, Grune writing in pain as corrosive magic eats away her skin.

Ginia jolts awake, hands reaching for a weapon that isn't there, tears spilling from her eyes from terror and pain.]

[ It's a good few hours before Erwin wakes again. The pain registers first, and he grimaces to himself. He shifts one arm, bumps his elbow into something warm and solid. It smarts even to turn his neck to look, but he finds Levi asleep next to him, laying on his good side with his broken arm against his chest and his legs drawn up close as though to protect it.

The room is much darker than it was earlier, indicating that he slept past the setting of the sun. Ginia must have returned some time ago, but thought better of waking him--or Levi. He's grateful for the rest for both of them, and he knows his body well enough to know that he wouldn't wake without reason, so he waits for it to tell him what he needs. It doesn't take long before he feels a sharp, lingering pang in his stomach. Ah. How long has it been since he's eaten, he wonders? ]

Levi.

[ He speak the other man's name in a murmur, but knows it will be enough to rouse him, if his slight shifting hadn't already; Levi is a light sleeper. Erwin isn't the only one who needs to eat. They could probably all do with a meal of some sort. ]

[He hadn't necessarily intended to fall asleep on Erwin's bed, but he'd wanted to stay close by while Ginia was out anyway, and it'd just ended up happening - mostly not by choice. Levi drifts in and out of a full sleep, the pain radiating sharply enough to not let him sleep very deeply...not that he ever does.

Erwin's shifting does rouse him, though he doesn't quite move until Erwin calls his name, just to be sure that he isn't restless in his sleep. Every movement hurts, so Levi tries not to move when he doesn't need to. Except that now he's stiff and that makes it worse.

He pushes himself up, leaning heavily still on his good arm while the broken one reminds him just how broken it is. A few minutes after he opens his eyes, his head is pounding, though the light is dim.]

What do you need?

[It takes Ginia a bit of time to calm herself down and pull herself together, glad neither Erwin or Levi is around to see. She pulls herself off the couch and hauls herself to the bathroom to wash up. Her reflection in the mirror is a frightful sight; dark circles under her eyes, expression drawn, smears of blood on her cheek and brow, hair a mess. The sight is enough to make her laugh softly and hiss in pain. Maybe she'll steal some of Levi's painkillers after all.

She washes up and puts herself in a more presentable state. Not that either of them will care how she looks, but it makes her feel a bit better. It's easier to feel good feeling put together.

Only after that does Ginia quietly return to Erwin's bedroom, peeking in and knocking lightly on the frame when she sees both men are up.]

/Do you two want food? There's medicine on the nightstand too./

I need to eat something. [ Though he hasn't the strength to sit up, he levels a pointed look at Levi anyway, assessing him with a bit more clarity than he'd been able to the first time he'd woken. He's clearly tired and in pain as well, though making an effort not to draw attention to it in the light of the severity of Erwin's injuries. Erwin lifts a hand, curls his fingers loosely around Levi's good arm near his wrist. ] As do you.

[ But as if on cue, there's Ginia in the doorway, offering exactly what he needs. He would nod if he could. ]

Food would be welcome. [ He has a chance to look more carefully at Ginia now, too; he'd hardly been able to before. She seems less hurt physically than Levi--which isn't saying much--but it's clear that she is also worn and weary. ] How are you feeling, Ginia?

[Levi just returns that pointed look tiredly, with little energy to counter it with anything but blankness. His neck is starting to ache from the sling, just adding to everything else that aches. There's no point in arguing, because underneath the pain, he's hungry.]

Yeah, I'll eat.

[with Ginia's help he'll make sure that they all get medicine, even if it's taken him some time to practice with the pills. Hopefully after a while he'll start to feel more like a person again.]

/I'm fine./

[Her signs are quick and short, her expression flat, ready to dismiss Erwin's words and move on to a different subject. Physical injuries will heal, but mental wounding has always struck her deeper and her head is still in a bad place.

She helps by opening the containers and dispensing the proper amount of pills for each of them. Then she'll go into the kitchen to head up some food. Stew and some bread seems like the best choice for the moment; easy to digest, easy to spoon feed. A bowl each and some bread for each man, some water for herself. Her years as a server pays off as she carefully carries everything into the room and sets them down on the chair and nightstand.]

/Levi, do you want the honor of spoon feeding Erwin, or am I going to have to feed both of you?/

[ Ginia's dismissiveness raises a red flag immediately. He knows what it looks like when someone is trying to hide their own issues, whatever the reason may be. His gaze lingers on her, brow furrowing, but he doesn't comment--not yet, at least. He'll save that discussion for when all of them are in a bit less physical pain. Which should be soon enough, given his experiences so far with similar medication to the pills she's procured for them.

The food smells good when she returns with it, but just about anything edible would have been appetizing at this point. ]

Thank you.

[ His gaze moves from Ginia to Levi and back. He doesn't care who feeds him. While he'd rather do it himself, of course, he recognizes that it would be too painful for him to move so much. As long as they all eat, he's satisifed. ]

[he may be tired, but he's still capable of leveling annoyed scowls, which is what he directs at Ginia for suggesting that he'll have to be spoon fed.]

Think I can manage, thanks.

[his arm is broken, but his hand still works, and he can hold a bowl with one hand and a spoon with another. He takes one bowl and some bread from her and settles back next to Erwin, breaking the bred into pieces and holding it up for Erwin's lips. Every now and then he breaks some off and eats it himself also. Once the bread is gone, he moves onto the stew. It's a bit awkward, feeding something else, but it's the only way at this point.]

[Ginia smiles back, too much teeth not enough smile. If she can still tease, if Levi can still scowl back, then everything is okay. She steals one of Levi's pills and washes it down with a swig of water before she takes her previous position against the wall.

She watches them eat as she sips at her water. It's like old days again, licking wounds after a bad job, healing up and regaining strength, her playing nursemaid. Ginia wonders if that's her life, to relive the same moments again and again but with different faces, different places. It's not too bad if that's the case.

Ginia snaps her fingers to get their attention.]

/You got stabbed in the shoulder and lost a wing. The doctors at the clinic say it'll take five to seven days for it to regrow and you'll be in pain the entire time. If there's any complications with the medication, they'll put you on something else./

[ Erwin eats in relative silence, allowing Levi to shovel spoonfuls of stew into his mouth interspersed with pieces of bread. At least once, though, he refuses to eat another bite until Levi's swallowed at least half of his own bowl of stew. Only then does he allow Levi to resume.

They're mostly finished by the time Ginia snaps her fingers, and Erwin's eyes are on her instantly. His processing is still slower than it should be, but he can feel the medication she'd brought beginning to effect him, taking the sharp edge off the pain he's feeling. ]

I thought as much.

[ The wing injury isn't a surprise, though he doesn't remember being stabbed in the shoulder. He must have blacked out, he thinks, after the injury to his wing. ]

Do you know how it happened?

[ His gaze slides from Ginia to Levi. Does either of them have any idea? ]

[Levi rolls his eyes at Erwin's stubbornness, but eats. It isn't as though he'd planned to not eat - he's hungry, too - but it's not worth the energy to argue. He easily finishes his own portion, and by then the medication is beginning to work. Things don't hurt so badly, though his head still feels a little muddled.

What had happened? He couldn't be sure. Everything had happened so fast.

He shakes his head, carefully, the bandage around it clearly needing to be changed. Blood had seeped through from the wound there, spotting it a dry rust color.]

Not sure. Someone ambushed us, that's for sure.

...I can't remember anything very clearly.

[except struggling to bring Erwin back with one arm broken and blood dripping into his eyes.]

[Ginia gives a small shake of her head. She frowns at Levi's head wound - right, that'll need to be taken care of next - and mulls over the topic. The Malnosso haven't said anything, but she's gathered enough from the mood around town, from the conversations people were having at the clinic.]

/Less than half of those sent out to the draft returned. The Third Party knew we would be there and countered all of our moves./

[It's moments like this Ginia is glad she can't talk. It's easier being detached through signed words, erasing all emotion from her face as she reports the facts. She wouldn't trust a voice to be steady, to be calm.]

/At least in our defeat, we learned valuable information. The Third Party now possess a chemical weapon capable of inducing powerful hallucinations. The effects wear off in time, but it can be quite deadly in the middle of combat./

[Can be deadly. Is deadly. She didn't know the name of the doctor she strangled, but she can still feel her fingers digging into his throat. Ginia swallows, calm facade breaking for an instant into intense guilt.]

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it took so long to get me back on my feet } THE RECOVERY & RELAPSE MEME

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