bakerstreet | the soap opera meme

welcome to the world of drama, where emotions run high and your relationship is forever locked in bitter tensions and the most heated of passions. everyone's got a dirty secret, and it's always a frantic race to keep others from finding out, or to use it against someone else in your catty little games. or maybe it's time for you to spill these secrets out for all the world to see.

the rules are simple:

1. post with your character. don't forget to put their name and series in the subject line. additionally, don't forget to put your preferences there too. like it only PG-13 and under? males only? females only? open to all/OTA? serious? crack?
2. use the random number generator (RNG) to pick from 1 to 6. each number will correspond to a genre. OR just skip the rolling and pick your own genre to work with. now you're ready to play it out! buuuuuuuut if that's not enough, you can also
3. pick a scenario! roll again using the RNG to pick from 1-15. it doesn't have to be just one scenario though. you can mix and match. maybe you don't even want to use a genre! that's cool, just have fun with it!
4. ???
5. profit!!!

☆ the genres;

1. working class melodrama; you're basically Cinderella/Cinderello, except your hair is much more fabulous, gosh. and also you have a better name, like Camila or Jorge. you don't need a fairy godmother or any of that crap, you're fabulous enough on your own to attract the oh-so handsome CEO Santiago Sanchez. swoon. you have him wrapped around your little finger—er, you mean, you two are completely and utterly IN LOVE. he loves everything about you, which is great. and you like most things about him, especially his hot tub and all his money, but who's counting? (you.) if only his family would stop getting in your way. um, oops, you mean in the way of TRUE LOVE.

2. historical romance; you're engaged to the lord of the town. everything's hunky-dory, except for the small fact that he's ancient. boy's had twelve wives before you! you know you're a town beauty, but c'mon! this is kind of ridiculous, isn't it??? you want to help your struggling family, but you're not sure you want to give up your freedom. should you run away with that cute boy from the smithy? and that masked pirate gentleman makes your heart skip a beat. could it be that you secretly want him to steal you away? maybe he should hurry up and do so before the lord of the town does!

3. teen drama; so you've liked this person practically forever, right? only it turns out they're in love with your best friend. and your best friend's been acting kinda weird lately - but there's no way they have a crush on you. nope, no way whatsoever. and why has your ex been palling up with your worst enemy lately? not to mention that your new friend swears that one of your old friends is actually plotting your downfall behind your back. could this have something to do with the rumors that have been circulating at the speed of light, all of which seem to involve you? worse, some of them could even be true! sigh. ay dios mio, being a teen and growing up is hard. it's hard and nobody understands.

4. mystery/thriller; your great-great-great-many-times-great grandmother has died a sudden death! GASP. you're pretty shocked she didn't die sooner. so the bad news is, she's dead. the good news is, she was stinkin' rich. now you and the members of your estranged family have come back to reap the profits. and maaaaaaaaybe find out how and why she died. for some reason, you have a bad feeling about this. dun dun dun.

5. romantic comedy; it's love tripping awkwardly over banana peels. is that you there in the bushes spying on your handsome crush? uh-oh, how did you get yourself handcuffed to the guy you really (really really really) hate?! what if your crush sees you with this loser? your life would be over. you might find yourself pondering the survival rates of people who chew off their arms in a desperate attempt to escape horrible fates. okay, so you're being dramatic. this guy's not so bad. in fact, he's find of funny… and nice… and endearing… oh, fuck.

6. pop band; you have always known you were talented. you practically jumped out of your mom's belly singing "Guantanamera" and all the medics cried in awe. it's high time an agent has signed you! you're the star. it is you. you're even singing the theme song of this show. being a solo artist is grea—wait… what, BANDMATES?! okay, well, at least you're not as tacky as Menudo. and honestly, who is that wannabe Shakira/Ricky Martin trying to get all up in your face?

☆ the scenarios;

1) blackmail; you've got the upper hand—incriminating photos, video tapes of that one night stand, crucial documents that could change their life for good, anything that can put you at an advantage over them. and you're putting it all to good use.

2) coma; that was some accident, but it's a good thing it happened years ago, right? you miraculously wake up before they pull the plug on you to find that your life has changed. the world and your spouse/partner have moved on. or you've driven your family to poverty with your expensive medical care. maybe everyone you have ever known has already died or moved away from town. and there is just something about that ravishing young doctor who saved your life…

3) evil twin; you find out everyone hates you. you're fired from work for bullshit reasons you swore you've never done. you're heavily in debt. and, worst of all, your partner tells you that they've had the best night of their life just last night—except that you don't remember any of it. better go check those hospital records. oops, you look and find out what your parents should've told you a long, long time ago.

4) pregnancy; it could've been from that one-night stand you forgot about. or it could be a child that you've been trying for years with your partner to have. or it could be any of a hundred other reasons. in any case, whether you're only a few months in or happen to be the (un)fortunate dad-to-be, you'd better get ready to welcome that little bundle of joy (or terror) into your lives.

5) long lost family; you mean you're not all alone in this world? that there is someone out there whom you've probably never met or only vaguely remember only through fond childhood memories? you've got their address, their phone number, or that one memento. contacting them is easy enough in this day and age. but what if they've kept themselves estranged from you for a reason (be it for your own good or theirs)?

6) soap opera disease; the diagnosis is clear: your illness is terminal—you only have a few months to live, maybe even less than that. you can choose to live your life to the fullest in the company of your loved ones, or spend the rest of your days languishing in pain and sorrow until someone comes along to snap you out of it and give you a new lease in life, before…well…

7) adultery; you swear it was an accident—that you were drunk, that you didn't know it was them you were doing it with; or, you find out your significant other is at it, and it's a huge blow to your pride. are you just not attractive enough anymore? maybe you can make them jealous, or you can confront them and make them 'fess up—either way, maybe dragging in a third party wasn't such a good idea…

8) slapfest; they did something to you—said something horrible and did something unforgivable and then spat in your face. you confront them, full of righteous indignation at this arrogant display and deliver a well-aimed left hook. but they fight back, but you can't back down—well, someone has to give in sooner or later.

9) fake sibling; they're like family—they are family. you've been through so much together. played together and laughed together. you couldn't imagine a life without their loving support. but it turns out you're not related after all. that maybe they could betray you at any time, or just move far away to their real family and forget about you. and you can't let that happen, right? or maybe you've always been attracted to them. is it okay now? can you and should you act on it?

10) may to december; it was taboo, frowned-upon, but cruel Cupid has caught you in his snares, and like it or not you're madly in love with them. why should you let a petty thing like age get between you, anyway? a forbidden romance livens things up a little, after all. just be careful to dodge those threats and insults your sweetheart's relatives keep hurling at you for seducing one of their own.

11) inheritance; perhaps you've lost an obscure relative, or became involved in a family conspiracy for a share in the loot. or maybe all the riches you got were stolen by your benefactor. either way, there's big money to be had and you're free to take it at any time. just don't let the wealth—or the bullets—get to your head.

12) fake death; everyone's moved on since that unfortunate accident, and you've assumed a new identity and a new life since then. but you're needed back home—for revenge, for comforting your grieving family and friends, for shits and giggles. you've "killed" yourself for whatever reason, but now it's time to face your past and all the emotional baggage that comes with it.

13) confession; nothing else can work now—you have no choice but to be direct. to spill out your pent-up feelings, deliver an anguished declaration of love before they die/move away/get married/etc. hopefully, they'll turn around and see that they were in love with you all along, or you'll have to go to even greater lengths to convince them. whatever happens, you know you need to make a big impression on this one.

14) wedding; they're getting married, and it turns out that you've loved them all along or maybe you realized that their spouse-to-be isn't good enough for them. there's still a way to resolve this, but you'd better be quick about it and speak now or forever hold your peace.

15) wild card; tension runs hot in your relationship and a dash of intrigue or two can spice it up even more. combine any of the above choices or make your own scenario!

adapted from the soap opera meme at

casketbase
image from the Phineas and Ferb wikia

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[ The light comes in blinding and Vriska has to blink to adjust, but when she does, she groans. Of course, it had to be her ex, er, nemesis.

Well, he luck seems to have run out. The metaphorical cat is out of the not-so-metaphorical coffin now. She sits up because at least now she can stretch.]

Ugh, trust you to try and foil all my plans. I'm supposed to be dead. Can't you see that I'm the kind of corpse who totally talks.

[ A sarcastic beat ]

Oh, right, you can't see anything! Who invited you anyway????????

[ She might be stalling for time a bit. There's still a chance to get out of here, even if she does end up having to kill a few mourners!

The thought makes her a bit sick, deep down, but desperate times call for desperate beating people over the head with church equipment. ]

Justice! Justice invited me. (We blind people have to stick together, you know.)

[She uses her cane to point in Vriska's general direction.] Shall we escort this pungent young lady back to the land of the living?

the soap opera meme - TELENOVELA edition

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