sockfootage (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2026-05-08 12:01 am
sockfootage) wrote in bakerstreet2026-05-08 12:01 am
Entry tags:
I. You were so drunk last night that you asked for your glasses. [ point being: your character does not wear glasses and perhaps nabbed qifrey's albeit quite briefly. ]
II. [ optional: canon or urban fantasy/similar to that au ] Yes, and whenever your name comes up people start crying. Almost immediately. Even I'm aware that's not exactly normal.
III. I would not call it lost. Inconvenienced. [ chased a lead. deadend. as for "inconvenienced", well. yes. by a landslide. ]
IV. [ voice, sort of light but both a bit wary and concerned ] That message barely made any sense...and I'm being a bit generous, at that. Can you hear me? Are you alright?
V. Asking whether or not I am dead cannot be your best greeting.
VI. [ message him your own. quite open to misfires since tfln is made for hijinks. there is some information on his journal as well. ]
II. [ optional: canon or urban fantasy/similar to that au ] Yes, and whenever your name comes up people start crying. Almost immediately. Even I'm aware that's not exactly normal.
III. I would not call it lost. Inconvenienced. [ chased a lead. deadend. as for "inconvenienced", well. yes. by a landslide. ]
IV. [ voice, sort of light but both a bit wary and concerned ] That message barely made any sense...and I'm being a bit generous, at that. Can you hear me? Are you alright?
V. Asking whether or not I am dead cannot be your best greeting.
VI. [ message him your own. quite open to misfires since tfln is made for hijinks. there is some information on his journal as well. ]
Well, that is the only greeting you are getting tonight.
[ knife emoji!!! ]
[ knife emoji!!! ]
yes sinocia put him on blast (i am so happy you are writing her!)
bespelled
- 2026-05-08 23:36 (UTC) - Expand1. I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face.
2. I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
3. His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. Be prepared for some interesting DIY choices.
4. I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me.
5. I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka bottle.
2. I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
3. His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. Be prepared for some interesting DIY choices.
4. I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me.
5. I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka bottle.
I think I heard of a phrase for this that succinctly puts my opinion and desires plain:
"LET ME OFF THIS RIDE"
"LET ME OFF THIS RIDE"
i. i went on a date last night!!!!!!
and this morning I received an itemized venmo request
from them
chivalry is dead
ii. she believed she could so she did
mutilate a family of five
who knew she would really do it?
aren't humans amazing???
iii. why don't we let the guy whose problem solving skills
look like suicide attempts take a crack at it.
nothing else is working so far
iv. ughhhhhhhhhhh whyyyyyyyyyy
i'm going to have to pretend to be a girl on the internet again⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
[ ...like he ever stopped ]
v. [ text him ]
Edited 2026-05-08 04:02 (UTC)
1. i probably looked like a mental patient. supposedly had my IV in one hand, swaying down the hall with a "dazed grin."
2. been drinking and about to do free weights. let you know how it goes.
3. csi guy showed up, and i'm supposed to not play the theme song while he walked in?
4. if i have to stay here, we're having pizza delivered to the emergency room.
5. [ text him ]
2. been drinking and about to do free weights. let you know how it goes.
3. csi guy showed up, and i'm supposed to not play the theme song while he walked in?
4. if i have to stay here, we're having pizza delivered to the emergency room.
5. [ text him ]
You did. on the bright side, hauling you back to your suite was easier than usual.
What were you trying to do?
What were you trying to do?
1. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
2. I am the murderer of this scooby doo episode.
3. You kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life.
4. Drunken candy land NOW. Don't fight the urge... you want to.
5. Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
6. My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
7. What's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
8. We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
9. or text her!
2. I am the murderer of this scooby doo episode.
3. You kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life.
4. Drunken candy land NOW. Don't fight the urge... you want to.
5. Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
6. My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
7. What's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
8. We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
9. or text her!
2 - I literally could not stop laughing at this option
spiderinpink
- 2026-05-08 16:53 (UTC) - Expand1. One might say we're banned from that church.
2. He's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. Pop hasn't noticed yet.
3. Finishing at the same time is a project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
4. The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad.
5. [ text him ]
2. He's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. Pop hasn't noticed yet.
3. Finishing at the same time is a project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
4. The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad.
5. [ text him ]
Is it? I thought for sure that was what they call "nirvana".
001. I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
002. You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
003. He kept staring at my ass and repeating "it's just a beautiful piece of artwork"
004. If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
005. my hair is VERY soft and could EASILY be played with and you know how many people are playing with my hair??? zero
002. You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
003. He kept staring at my ass and repeating "it's just a beautiful piece of artwork"
004. If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
005. my hair is VERY soft and could EASILY be played with and you know how many people are playing with my hair??? zero
definitely meant to put 005 BUT I was also close to going for 004 so...
cornholes
- 2026-05-08 14:15 (UTC) - Expand1.) I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period?
2.) I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid the creepy drunk next to me.
3.) Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
4.) Apparently I have a face people want to share their life stories with.
5.) Text her
2.) I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid the creepy drunk next to me.
3.) Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
4.) Apparently I have a face people want to share their life stories with.
5.) Text her
Why did you not call me?
I would have taken care of him for you.
I would have taken care of him for you.
1. You know, if I'm going to play attack dog for you, you might as well let me know what's in it for me.
2. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything that'll end up on the evening news.
3. Bring me takoyaki and you're my new favorite person.
4. Just because I can't get drunk doesn't mean you can't. Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you, and I'll enjoy the show.
5. Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
6. [ or just text him instead it's probably a good idea ]
2. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything that'll end up on the evening news.
3. Bring me takoyaki and you're my new favorite person.
4. Just because I can't get drunk doesn't mean you can't. Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you, and I'll enjoy the show.
5. Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
6. [ or just text him instead it's probably a good idea ]
It hurts a little to have my ability to worry underestimated like that. For one thing, I'm worried about being able to find supportive garments that actually fit. My band and cup size aren't exactly commonplace, after all.
Edited 2026-05-08 18:37 (UTC)
it would be very funny no matter what, is the thing
jujutsugoroshi
- 2026-05-08 18:53 (UTC) - Expand001. I'm just so full of feelings and alcohol.
002. Pissing me the fuck off all by yourself, handsome?
003. I just didn't expect you to be so naked.
004. I'm experimenting with sincerity.
005. Everything will probably be fine but I have to get really anxious just in case.
002. Pissing me the fuck off all by yourself, handsome?
003. I just didn't expect you to be so naked.
004. I'm experimenting with sincerity.
005. Everything will probably be fine but I have to get really anxious just in case.
1. nah nah picture this
you come over, i draw you a bubble bath, give you a massage
and then i go down on you for like an hour. maybe two.
2. listen, there's only one person allowed to threaten my little sister, and that's me, alright?
3. girls are pretty and i am weak
that is the whole thought
4. there are a lot of nice tits at this party but not my favorite pair, so it's kind of a waste
5. is this going to be a leather pants kind of night out
or is that coming on too strong
6. [ text her instead you will probably only mildly regret it ]
you come over, i draw you a bubble bath, give you a massage
and then i go down on you for like an hour. maybe two.
2. listen, there's only one person allowed to threaten my little sister, and that's me, alright?
3. girls are pretty and i am weak
that is the whole thought
4. there are a lot of nice tits at this party but not my favorite pair, so it's kind of a waste
5. is this going to be a leather pants kind of night out
or is that coming on too strong
6. [ text her instead you will probably only mildly regret it ]
1.) My goal of the day is to not pass out. that's it. setting the bar real low.
2.) Not only was there glitter in the toilet after I peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after I wiped. This cant be healthy.
3.) A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together.
4.) I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
5.) Text this mess
2.) Not only was there glitter in the toilet after I peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after I wiped. This cant be healthy.
3.) A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together.
4.) I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
5.) Text this mess
No worries :) we'll just set this before whatever happens in that other thread
ruff_patch
- 2026-05-08 04:58 (UTC) - Expand1. you need to aim for "more pleasant than taking a nap" if you want me awake for the next few hours
2. i'm not the only one picturing her in nothing but the hat and you know that i'm right
3. let's cut to the chase: is this a booty call, are you trying to recruit me to your evil organization, or is this a secret third thing?
4. don't tell me i can't drink and work out at the same time
i am a man of many talents, alright
5. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
6. [ or just text or misfire yourself tbh ]
2. i'm not the only one picturing her in nothing but the hat and you know that i'm right
3. let's cut to the chase: is this a booty call, are you trying to recruit me to your evil organization, or is this a secret third thing?
4. don't tell me i can't drink and work out at the same time
i am a man of many talents, alright
5. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
6. [ or just text or misfire yourself tbh ]
1.) Frankly I'm up for anything that could reasonably be described as "shenanigans", though in a pinch I'm willing to settle for a ruckus.
2.) I did get stabbed, but it's fine.
3.) Standing there ominously doesn't count as socializing.
4.) I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
5.) Text her.
2.) I did get stabbed, but it's fine.
3.) Standing there ominously doesn't count as socializing.
4.) I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
5.) Text her.
01. you're so pretty
you're the prettiest girl in the entire world okay
the prettiest
an i wanna kiss you all the time because you're so pretty
02. he tried to insist i wear high heels to this big fancy whatever, so i may have thrown one in the general direction of his head
03. hello, this is your not-an-uber
just checking in if you're going to need me to pick you up any time soon
since i am still sober and i bet you're not
04. there is nothing in this world that would make me happier than if you came over, we put on a movie, and i spent the entire run time not watching it
05. [ modern day urban fantasy oc set in seattle. more details in her profile but the short version is: disaster lesbian who got roped into fighting monsters because she's god's favorite chew toy and has a people pleasing problem. misfires or byob are welcome. ]
1: Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
2: Sorry- Panic attack. I'll be there in 5 minutes. If I'm not, read this again.
3: As your girlfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as leader, I have to tell you to not do that again.
4: I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advice.
5: You built us a pillow fort. Of course you got laid.
2: Sorry- Panic attack. I'll be there in 5 minutes. If I'm not, read this again.
3: As your girlfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as leader, I have to tell you to not do that again.
4: I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advice.
5: You built us a pillow fort. Of course you got laid.
a. Please tell me which is the essential oil which calms people down. Chloroform? Is that it?
b. Well, some people require you to throw a chair at them.
However, do not take this advice, I will not be responsible for what happens if you do.
c. No. You cannot cite a dream or hallucination in your report.
d. We will not be breaking the law tonight, it is not a fun "couple's activity".
e. [ text him, crosscanon/crossmedium ♥ ]
Edited 2026-05-08 04:21 (UTC)
hehe ty! someone has to keep all these witches in one piece
sinocia
- 2026-05-08 17:11 (UTC) - Expand 1. I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
2. We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
3. Where are you???
4. Again, I did not call him stupid. I asked him if he needed help with his stupid. I was being very polite and helpful.
5. Too bad burritos don't cuddle back.
6..I just saw someone pour cheese on fire and everyone clapped. This place is chaos.
7. New rule: never trust how you feel about your life past 12AM.
2. We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
3. Where are you???
4. Again, I did not call him stupid. I asked him if he needed help with his stupid. I was being very polite and helpful.
5. Too bad burritos don't cuddle back.
6..I just saw someone pour cheese on fire and everyone clapped. This place is chaos.
7. New rule: never trust how you feel about your life past 12AM.
In your walls.
💬
Sorry, no. Kidding.
I am stuck in Madripoor right now.
I would have said something sooner, but it sort of came up last minute.
How long will you be in NY?
💬
Sorry, no. Kidding.
I am stuck in Madripoor right now.
I would have said something sooner, but it sort of came up last minute.
How long will you be in NY?
1. i mean if i had a time machine i’d just go forward in time and dig up my own bones
2. believe me
i can in fact be more of a freak
want to see me do it???
3. yeah so here’s the thing
if you even ATTEMPT to beat my high score at dragon’s lair I WILL be coming after you
you won't know when
you won't know where
so do me a favor and just play dig dug or galaga instead k???
4. i mean
you can try to put me in my place but you’ll find that that place is the grave sooo…
5. text him. assumed cr, misfires, etc, etc.
2. believe me
i can in fact be more of a freak
want to see me do it???
3. yeah so here’s the thing
if you even ATTEMPT to beat my high score at dragon’s lair I WILL be coming after you
you won't know when
you won't know where
so do me a favor and just play dig dug or galaga instead k???
4. i mean
you can try to put me in my place but you’ll find that that place is the grave sooo…
5. text him. assumed cr, misfires, etc, etc.
death will not do us part
i talk 2 the dead dumbass
i talk 2 the dead dumbass
YES thank u for tagging me again. they were fun last week
satanicpanics
- 2026-05-08 18:40 (UTC) - Expand1. is this a hangover or a concussion? I can't tell.
2. if you're still alive, sound off.
3. sorry I punched you. I thought you were a dead person I talked to in the ocean.
4. bring your own
2. if you're still alive, sound off.
3. sorry I punched you. I thought you were a dead person I talked to in the ocean.
4. bring your own
2. Excuse to use the best icon i have? Absolutely
smartass_captain
- 2026-05-08 17:06 (UTC) - ExpandDo I know how they got in that situation? No will that stop me? Also no
smartass_captain
- 2026-05-08 19:40 (UTC) - Expand01 | You gonna keep pretending last night didn’t happen, or are we talking about it?
02 | I don’t need to be saved. Just. Stay.
03 | It’s your fault I’m still awake. You gonna fix that or what?
04 | I’m fine, just do not check the news.
05 | FYI, I’m about one ignored text from searching you out.
06 | [ text him! ota, xcanon, xmedium, all welcome 🫰 ]
02 | I don’t need to be saved. Just. Stay.
03 | It’s your fault I’m still awake. You gonna fix that or what?
04 | I’m fine, just do not check the news.
05 | FYI, I’m about one ignored text from searching you out.
06 | [ text him! ota, xcanon, xmedium, all welcome 🫰 ]
1: Thanks to you, I was 10 minutes late today because I couldn't lose an erection. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is already tucked in
2: Hey, is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
3: I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different leve;
4: Be right there. Don't do anything stupid.
5: there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
2: Hey, is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
3: I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different leve;
4: Be right there. Don't do anything stupid.
5: there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know about that
I feel like if I'm hosting the gala, I can grab whoever's ass I want?
I feel like if I'm hosting the gala, I can grab whoever's ass I want?
1. It requires dancing, which isn't my forté.
2. I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
3. You want your jacket back or not?
4. I can't sleep. Don't know what I need. Maybe just someone on the other side.
5. Are you still mad that my trading card is better than yours?
6. Actually I can believe that you guys got into a brawl over a chicken nugget.
2. I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
3. You want your jacket back or not?
4. I can't sleep. Don't know what I need. Maybe just someone on the other side.
5. Are you still mad that my trading card is better than yours?
6. Actually I can believe that you guys got into a brawl over a chicken nugget.
(1) how could anyone look at my thighs and think i skip leg day
how actually dare you
(2) this is the body of someone who just ate too much cheese and now his tummy hurts a little
[ with the prerequisite shirtless gym selfie attached. ]
(3) i have nothing holy to say about that selfie
inshallah
(4) found out that my 100lb dog with a head like concrete is afraid of small river turtles
i'm feeling like a proud father today
(5) i've literally come back from the dead, a tequila hangover is nothing
stop being boring
(6) [ or text him yourself, he is... often in a Way. ]
how actually dare you
(2) this is the body of someone who just ate too much cheese and now his tummy hurts a little
[ with the prerequisite shirtless gym selfie attached. ]
(3) i have nothing holy to say about that selfie
inshallah
(4) found out that my 100lb dog with a head like concrete is afraid of small river turtles
i'm feeling like a proud father today
(5) i've literally come back from the dead, a tequila hangover is nothing
stop being boring
(6) [ or text him yourself, he is... often in a Way. ]
Meanwhile my 10lb chihuahua knows no fear, because he knows very little at all.
Pic?
Pic?
a.: no revenge because you’re literally gonna forget me and that’s enough for me lol[ ota/assumed cr + crosscanon adored! voice testing, i've made it to chapter 250 of the webnovel! ]
b.: if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
c.: I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
d.: It takes me 2 months to calm down please don't fuck with me
e.: text/misfire him!
Might I suggest meditation and not breaking the rules?
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