As the Hitchhiker's Guide Says...

[sockhopsolly]

Some of the coolest threads come from just putting characters in situations! This meme is a chance to do just that.

How to Play:

1. No blank top-levels. Put a "don't panic, but..." statement in your top-level. Examples:
   • "Don't panic, but my father's coming and I need you to hide me."
   • "Don't panic, but everyone's throwing up."
   • "Don't panic, but I think something just exploded around the corner."
   • "Don't panic, but there's someone following you."
   • "Don't panic, but your shoes clash with that purse really badly."
2. Respond to other people's statements. Maybe you can help them. Maybe you can make the situation worse. Maybe you can't help but panic.
3. ????
4. Profit

Comments

Matt Murdock | MCU | OTA

[thedevilsworkisneverdone]

Don't panic, but you're going to need a really good lawyer.

[sweetabatina]

I'm a doctor, I took a patient. How the fuck was I supposed to know he was some kind of freak vigilante?

[thedevilsworkisneverdone]

The argument will be made that you didn't conduct your full due diligence regarding your patient and the nature and cause of the injuries. The failure to report the circumstances of certain injuries is a class A misdemeanor and subject to up to a year in prison.

[sweetabatina]

Jesus Christ. There wasn't any evidence of a crime! He said the burns were from an accident.

[thedevilsworkisneverdone]

And were they consistent with an accident and the sort of detail provided? Or did you just not ask questions?

[sweetabatina]

It's Hell's Kitchen. We see everything in the ER. The only reason this case matters more than others is because of who it ended up being.

[thedevilsworkisneverdone]

I'm not disputing that fact. I'm only telling you what the complaint against you is likely to state.

[sweetabatina]

My father's office said you were the best. Are you, actually? Didn't you represent the fucking Punisher before he killed like twenty people in Riker's?

[thedevilsworkisneverdone]

I represented him when he killed 'like' twenty of the Kitchen Irish, actually. And I would have gotten him off if he hadn't torpedoed my case on the stand. But if you'd rather lawyer-shop, that's up to you. No one has my record of defense of those tangentially tied or accused of being vigilantes, but it certainly your choice. I have a full docket of casework I put my attention to instead, but just know that the DA is out for blood on anyone associated with so-called vigilantes and those that aid them.

[sweetabatina]

I know, I know. You're a specialist. They flock to you. No, it- I'm not going to go against the office's advice. I'm just freaked out. It felt like a normal night. Maybe a lightly unusual injury, but we get all kinds of cases coming through the ER. No night is ever the same.

[thedevilsworkisneverdone]

You could argue that the workplace burden of a busy ER does limit your ability to take a full patient history. Why don't you describe in full what happened?

Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch - The Pitt - OTA

[keepsongiving]

1. Don't panic, but we've had three or four people call out sick already today.
2. Don't panic, but Gloria's been sniffing around the Pitt today.
3. Don't panic, but there's no coffee left.
4. Don't panic, but I need you to quietly get Ahmad or someone else from security here immediately.

4.

[doctorken]

Ok, I'm on it.

What exactly are we dealing with?

1

[comfortindarkness]

Christ.
Give me twenty minutes, I'm on my way in.

3

[cutyouopen]

Terrible news, Robby.

I’ll order Starbucks, we need a morale boost.

Arid | The Fall | OTA

[inperspective]

1. Do not panic: this is only maintenance.
2. Do not panic, the evidence can be expunged.
3. Do not panic, but I have identified an intruder.
4. I have told no one. Do not panic.
5. Do not panic. I am temporarily absent from my body. It is normal.

3

[keepsongiving]

Intruding in the hospital, or in your hideaway specifically?

[Either way, he definitely tenses, even if it isn't a full panic yet.]

[inperspective]

The hospital. He is currently on the third floor, and appears to be searching for someone.

[keepsongiving]

Searching for someone, but he didn't go through proper channels. And third floor is pedes.

[Robby doesn't say anything more, he just begins walking...no, striding, short of a jog, but the sort of strong quick walk that can part a crowd when paired with the right facial expression. He's not sure if Arid is coming with, cloaked or not, but he's going to get there as quickly as possible.]

[inperspective]

Affirmative. He is actively avoiding the staff.

[A pattern of movement she recognizes only too well. Much like she can read Robby's, now.]

Be careful. I cannot determine whether he is armed.

[She moves briskly to keep pace with him, fading mostly from view as she cloaks. Once they're inside she may have to really disappear on her own path for a bit: it's quieter at this time, but still much earlier than she'd usually dare venture downstairs.

On the other hand, she's not going to let Robby confront a threat unassisted.]

[keepsongiving]

[He feels safer knowing she's with him. Taking the stairwell down two, three steps at a time in his rush to get from the eighth to the third floor, Robby is keyed up, ready to face anything.]

Spoof my number and text the security duty phone. I don't know who's on shift, but I want backup who can act openly as well as you.

[He's absolutely certain she's capable of that, given what she's already doing with his phone.]

[inperspective]

[There's a second echo to his running steps in the stairwell, one that falters for a second as she diverts her attention. Unknown person in pedes acting suspicious-]

Done. I will direct their team to find you.

[It's a minor task to field their responses, and she can do it hands-free. She's intent on the hunt, putting into practice what she's learned about tracking human movements and evading security at the same time. This new interloper doesn't know whose patch he's on.]

The intruder is still searching, but- now he is moving faster, towards a private room.

🍭 Vergilius 🍭 Make the Exorcist Fall in Love 🍭 OTA 🍭

[sugarspite]

i. Don't panic, but I'm pretty sure you're being followed.
ii. Don't panic, but I need you to come with me.
iii. Don't panic, but there's some cultists who've been stalking your place for the past week.
iv. Don't panic, but I think you might've been pickpocketed by the kid who just bumped into you.
v. Wildcard!

🐚 pearl 🐚 hsr 🐚

[oneinashellion]

1. Do not panic, but I believe that we may be surrounded.
2. Do not panic, but no data in my memory matches our surroundings. This is a new space.
3. Do not panic, but we have yet to shake off our followers.
4. Do not panic, but I may require your assistance.
5. Do not panic, I will not harm you.
6. Bring your own.

Teieri Anri | Blue Lock

[sizeworldcup]

a.) Don't panic, but... uh... I-I think I lost my wallet.

b.) Don't panic, but there's some reporters trailing us. We better shake 'em off before they start harassing you.

c.) Don't panic, but there's a camera over there--Hey, don't look behind you, stupid!

d.) Bring your own!

⋆yao guang⋆hsr⋆

[wealofmisfortune]

1. Don't panic, but you have quite a bit of misfortune coming your way.
2. Don't panic, just follow me.
3. Don't panic, but things are about to get a little rough. You'd better fasten your seatbelt.
4. Don't panic, but I'll need you to back me up.
5. Don't panic, but we're probably going to be in for a fight.
6. Bring your own.

Tessa | Tales of Legendia OC | OTA

[merinesexual]

1. Don't panic, we are being watched.

2. Don't panic, but we should run within the next five seconds if we don't want to be caught by those things.

3. Don't panic, but we'll likely have to stay for the night in these woods.

4. Don't panic, but... I think that attack may have broken one of my ribs.

5. Don't panic, but we need to move. Now.

Geto Suguru | Jujutsu Kaisen

[eatingcursesout]

1. Don't panic, but there's something on your shoulder. Just hold still, I'll get it.
2. Don't panic, but I think you're stalker's gotten a little bolder. Stay close.
3. Don't panic, but we're probably lost.
4. Don't panic, but we're probably going to have to spend the night in this place. I'll take the floor.
5. Don't panic, but your shirt's still open.
6. Don't panic, but we've probably been cursed.

🔨Kasubata Kukuru🔨Dead Account🔨OTA, M/M lean for romance🔨

[kozuchi]

I. Don't panic, just hand over the phone.
II. Don't panic, but you're gonna die if you don't start running right about now.
III. Don't panic, but you're gonna have to go without me.
IV. Don't panic, but I don't think we managed to exorcise that piece of shit. --Pardon me.
V. Don't panic, but calling the police isn't going to do a damn thing. So quit it already. --Excuse my language.
VI. Don't panic, but you should hide.

Suo Hayato | Wind Breaker

[dispatchthis]

Don't panic. It's me they're after, not you.

Tsubakino Tasuku | Wind Breaker

[stilettohook]

1. Don't panic, but I'm gonna go teach those punks a little lesson, okay?
2. Don't panic, just hold this for me while I go grab your purse for you. It'll only be a second, I promise.
3. Don't panic, but I'm going to need you to get behind me.
4. Don't panic, but I'll probably have to leave you here for your own safety. I'll be back the moment I'm done.
5. Don't panic, but this is about to get a little rough.

Imogene Howell | original | ota

[unpavemypaths]

1. Don't panic, but I think you're bleeding. Can I take a look?
2. Don't panic, but these test results don't look good.
3. Don't panic, I know what's going on, I've seen this before.
4. Don't panic, but I have no idea where we are.
5. Don't panic, but I think I'm going to be sick.

[ Or throw me one to start with. Info & preferences. ]

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter | MCU

[ricochetingbullets]

Don't panic, but you're bleeding really bad.

Angel Dust | Hazbin Hotel (AU) | OTA

[hey_loser]

"Don't panic but my boyfriend is outside and he's gotta gun so ya need ta put ya fuckin' clothes on. Like. Right now."

Sigma | Fate/ Strange Fake | ota

[whalewatcher]

1) Don't panic, I'm not here to hurt you.

2) Don't panic, but we're not alone.

3) Don't panic. My boss is restless today. She doesn't care about personal space when she's bored.

Dr. Jack Abbot - The Pitt - ota

[comfortindarkness]

1. Don't panic, if I can do this under active fire I can do this here.

2. Don't panic, but I'm pretty sure the vest didn't stop that bullet.

3. Don't panic, but we've only got decaf in the break room.

4. Don't panic but the weather is getting really ugly out there.

4

[cutyouopen]

More car crashes expected then.

[comfortindarkness]

And pedestrians getting hurt. Let's get the carts stocked now, it's gonna be a busy night.

[cutyouopen]

Got it. Upstairs has an extra OR ready.

[comfortindarkness]

That's it? Call Walsh, tell her to open up at least two more. Lena will work on getting an Ortho attending down here. With that ice I'm betting on a lot of sprained and broken ankles.

[cutyouopen]

On it.

[she will grab her phone to call surgery.]

I’m ready for anything.

Yamada 💭 OC - OTA

[changeyourself]

Bio- A relaxed shapeshifter from a world where, once a month, the moon opens an eye and triggers reality-altering events wherever it looks. After a lifetime of dead-end jobs, Yamada has recently begun using their abilities to do good as part of an anti-Moon Gaze organisation, dealing with monsters and supernatural criminals.

1. Don't panic, it's me. [ Said while in some terrifying monster form. ]

2. Don't panic, but I don't think that was an earthquake.

3. Don't panic, but… the condom broke.

4. Don't panic, because only one of us can and I call dibs.

Courtney Crumrin | The Crumrin Chronicles

[sidhean]

1. Don't panic, just put the book down and back away very slowly. It can sense fear.

2. Don't panic, the car's supposed to fly.

3. Don't panic, it's more scared of you than you are of it.

4. ...panic if you want to, I guess, just leave me out of it.

charlemagne | fate/

[frankish]

1. Don't panic... actually, do panic! Aaaaah!

... Just kidding! Sorry, I always wanted to try being dramatic like that. Haha.

2. Don't panic, but he's naked again.

3. Don't panic, but there's something I haven't told you yet.

charlie mcgee | firestarter | ota

[burnratio]

1. Don't panic, but that's a bear. Stay very still.

2. Don't panic, but we need a better first aid kit.

3. Don't panic, but the bad guys just found me.

4. Don't panic, but there's blood on your shirt.

5. Don't panic, I'll figure out how to pay the bill.

Husk | Hazbin Hotel | OTA

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

1. Don't panic, but I thought I saw some exorcists on my way in.
2. Don't panic, but someone drank all of the tequila.
3. Don't panic, but Fat Nuggets threw up on the bar and it was bright blue.
4. Don't panic, but I think I might have been kidnapped.

chloe decker | lucifer

[detectivemiracle]

1. Don’t panic; I’m a cop. We can figure this out.

2. Don’t panic, it’s just a graze.

3. Don’t panic, but there’s been a bomb threat.

4. Don’t panic, I know it’s a lot, but what you saw? It was real.

5. Or find her panicking?