sockfootage (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sockfootage) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2026-04-24 12:00 am
sockfootage) wrote in bakerstreet2026-04-24 12:00 am
Entry tags:
1. Land Before Time marathon. We drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
2. I am carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
3. I'm like a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
4. There are some things that no one should be searching on the work computers!
5. Or text her yourself! I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
2. I am carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
3. I'm like a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
4. There are some things that no one should be searching on the work computers!
5. Or text her yourself! I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
it was for science, even I hadn’t heard of the position he was talking about
1. No, "shake a lemon at G-d" week IS real, but it's not until autumn.
2. No, but seriously, how do you tell a man you want to be swaddled?
3. He asked if all the music I listen to is sad, after I shared a song by The Butthole Surfers.
4. Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.
5. Or bring your own text. I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
2. No, but seriously, how do you tell a man you want to be swaddled?
3. He asked if all the music I listen to is sad, after I shared a song by The Butthole Surfers.
4. Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.
5. Or bring your own text. I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
I'm going out on a limb and say, just ask me Michael.
( character info. )
one. i'm going to be honest with you i'm not going to be honest with you
two. i literally never want to be the bigger person again. we can both go to hell.
three. "you're losing blood" no i know exactly where it is. The floor. don't underestimate me.
four. hey. wanna use my mouth? i think you should use my mouth. please use my mouth.
five. coming is so embarrassing. Like here's what's in my balls i guess. Jesus Christ.
six. no homo but the deer in headlights look you got going on is doing it for me
seven. [ or text him! ]
one. i'm going to be honest with you i'm not going to be honest with you
two. i literally never want to be the bigger person again. we can both go to hell.
three. "you're losing blood" no i know exactly where it is. The floor. don't underestimate me.
four. hey. wanna use my mouth? i think you should use my mouth. please use my mouth.
five. coming is so embarrassing. Like here's what's in my balls i guess. Jesus Christ.
six. no homo but the deer in headlights look you got going on is doing it for me
seven. [ or text him! ]
1. need a new gym. crossfit trainer came in wasted, kept screaming WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT? while staring at me from across the room
2. had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you "borrowed" from the gym
3. woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor. does it count as a third wolf if it's just on me?
4. you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of jerry springer way too seriously with me?
5. sick enough that i'm stuck in front of the tv determined to solve unsolved mysteries. all of them.
[ also available in rer2 & rer4, just let me know. info/perms in journal. ]
2. had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you "borrowed" from the gym
3. woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor. does it count as a third wolf if it's just on me?
4. you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of jerry springer way too seriously with me?
5. sick enough that i'm stuck in front of the tv determined to solve unsolved mysteries. all of them.
[ also available in rer2 & rer4, just let me know. info/perms in journal. ]
uh, yes. Always. We need to add Judge Judy to that, too.
But "wine drunk" is just being drunk.
But "wine drunk" is just being drunk.
001. if the next message doesn't include an offer to take me to a sushi place, I don't want to read it
002. a little sexual choking never killed anyone. and if it did, they died happy
003. she asked me if you were a rescue
004. he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
005. I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
002. a little sexual choking never killed anyone. and if it did, they died happy
003. she asked me if you were a rescue
004. he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
005. I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
1. oh my fucking god i saw the pictures. what the mother fucking fuck. destroy the pictures. destroy the fucking pictures.
2. i'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself on my porch.
3. are you offering me bathroom sex? i've never been more flattered.
4. apparently we had sex last night, and then i made him drive me to the beach so i could puke in the ocean.
5. what's with guys asking if i wanna "kick it" like i'm some fucking 19 year old
6. think of something healthy and responsible. now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter.
7. i dont remember anything after tequila & apple juice. may have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
( ota 15+ for shipping, happy to shove rohan into any jjba part or vice versa. crosscanon okay, assumed cr okay! )
2. i'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself on my porch.
3. are you offering me bathroom sex? i've never been more flattered.
4. apparently we had sex last night, and then i made him drive me to the beach so i could puke in the ocean.
5. what's with guys asking if i wanna "kick it" like i'm some fucking 19 year old
6. think of something healthy and responsible. now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter.
7. i dont remember anything after tequila & apple juice. may have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
( ota 15+ for shipping, happy to shove rohan into any jjba part or vice versa. crosscanon okay, assumed cr okay! )
1. I'm about to embark on a programme of self-destruction. Join me?
2. His pickup line was "I swear I'm not a serial killer." I almost went, out of sheer curiosity. Instead, I think I'll send you.
3. Got home. Somebody tried to sell me cocaine on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
4. Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to quit smoking when they care so much?
5. [Only the following attachment comes through.]
6. Text him! (Assumed CR, OCs, AUs, and cross-canon welcomed. Misfires are ♥)
2. His pickup line was "I swear I'm not a serial killer." I almost went, out of sheer curiosity. Instead, I think I'll send you.
3. Got home. Somebody tried to sell me cocaine on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
4. Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to quit smoking when they care so much?
5. [Only the following attachment comes through.]
6. Text him! (Assumed CR, OCs, AUs, and cross-canon welcomed. Misfires are ♥)
1: Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
2: You'll have to be more specific. I've done a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff.
3: I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
4: But I don't remember getting hit ... one minute I was fine, and the next there was blood running down my face.
5: You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here or I'm putting my clothes back on.
2: You'll have to be more specific. I've done a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff.
3: I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
4: But I don't remember getting hit ... one minute I was fine, and the next there was blood running down my face.
5: You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm halfway across the world.
Do you expect me to teleport my mouth onto your crotch?
How drunk are you?
Do you expect me to teleport my mouth onto your crotch?
How drunk are you?
(1) the fact that i haven't made out with someone in a corset at a ren faire is, frankly, a fucking crime
(2) this is the body of someone who just ate too much cheese and now his tummy hurts a little
[ with the prerequisite shirtless gym selfie attached. ]
(3) no, no, the fact that they didn't go careening off a rooftop is a sincere sign of growth for me
(4) in my defense, i did get put through a window today
so if i want to lie here and drink until i forget that my body hurts, i think i earned it
(5) but if i spend less time at the gym, i won't be hot enough to counteract my personality, and then what will i do?
(6) [ or text him yourself, he is... often in a Way. ]
(2) this is the body of someone who just ate too much cheese and now his tummy hurts a little
[ with the prerequisite shirtless gym selfie attached. ]
(3) no, no, the fact that they didn't go careening off a rooftop is a sincere sign of growth for me
(4) in my defense, i did get put through a window today
so if i want to lie here and drink until i forget that my body hurts, i think i earned it
(5) but if i spend less time at the gym, i won't be hot enough to counteract my personality, and then what will i do?
(6) [ or text him yourself, he is... often in a Way. ]
1. the second i saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, i knew i had a friend for life.
2. your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or i put them in the hole in the wall
3. giorno can't come to the phone right now. he's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
4. currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. drunk survivalist recycling!
5. there are some things you can't ever unsee. and walking in on someone in your family jerking off is one of those things.
6. the answer is no. its an illegal search n seizure!
7. HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
( ooc: voicetesting, ota for gen & shipping, crosscanon & assumed cr ok. elevator pitch: 17-year old mafioso who loves his found fam & is strong of heart, dumb of ass. will get unreasonably violent if provoked--and by provoked, i mean mildly inconvenienced. )
2. your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or i put them in the hole in the wall
3. giorno can't come to the phone right now. he's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
4. currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. drunk survivalist recycling!
5. there are some things you can't ever unsee. and walking in on someone in your family jerking off is one of those things.
6. the answer is no. its an illegal search n seizure!
7. HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
( ooc: voicetesting, ota for gen & shipping, crosscanon & assumed cr ok. elevator pitch: 17-year old mafioso who loves his found fam & is strong of heart, dumb of ass. will get unreasonably violent if provoked--and by provoked, i mean mildly inconvenienced. )
This is why they invented something called "knocking first," Narancia.
1.) Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment.
2.) Well, I'm not wearing pants, but I am wearing a tiara.
3.) It glows! I had to have it!
4.) FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
5.) Text her
2.) Well, I'm not wearing pants, but I am wearing a tiara.
3.) It glows! I had to have it!
4.) FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
5.) Text her
No one throws themselves as dramatically onto anything as me.
It is literally my entire education.
It is literally my entire education.
1.) I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
2.) Why did you call my penis depressed?
3.) Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover.
4.) I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
5.) Text this mess
2.) Why did you call my penis depressed?
3.) Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover.
4.) I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
5.) Text this mess
1. Looks like it's going to be an I Swear I Fell On It' kind of night.
2. I introduced him to the wonders of the weighted blanket.
3. I swear to god if he says big stretch one more time while I'm doing yoga...
4. Old lady gets a glimps of ass cheek one time over a year ago and you never live it down.
5. He got sad because I said no to finding out what it's like to get his iced coffee intravenously.
6. Nightcrawlers is a great fucking team name, thank you very fucking much.
2. I introduced him to the wonders of the weighted blanket.
3. I swear to god if he says big stretch one more time while I'm doing yoga...
4. Old lady gets a glimps of ass cheek one time over a year ago and you never live it down.
5. He got sad because I said no to finding out what it's like to get his iced coffee intravenously.
6. Nightcrawlers is a great fucking team name, thank you very fucking much.
I think the most I've ever had in one shift was three.
1: Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
2: You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
3: Run that by me again? You're 'so horny that you're legitimately concerned for my safety when you see me tonight'?
4: So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, and I quote, "Oh fuck... '
5: You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
2: You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
3: Run that by me again? You're 'so horny that you're legitimately concerned for my safety when you see me tonight'?
4: So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, and I quote, "Oh fuck... '
5: You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
1. Yes, he's here... It looks like he just gave up and passed out on the floor.
2. We don't have the same problems as normal people, do we?
3. Thanks for bringing me home and putting me in bed. The pillow fort you built around me is also appreciated.
2. We don't have the same problems as normal people, do we?
3. Thanks for bringing me home and putting me in bed. The pillow fort you built around me is also appreciated.
( 1 ) Why voice your opinions around your family when you can just stab yourself in the kidney for the same result?
( 2 ) I come from a long line of people who had something wrong with them.
( 3 ) If you're with the group, tell them I apologize for (insert whatever I did here).
( 4 ) Fuck, that is my circus. Are those...? Yep. Those are my monkeys.
( 5 ) I mean, you've threatened to kill me a bunch of times. You once told me you were going to drown me in the river like a kangaroo.
( 6 ) [ wildcard... happy clairobscuraversary to those who celebrate... ]
( 2 ) I come from a long line of people who had something wrong with them.
( 3 ) If you're with the group, tell them I apologize for (insert whatever I did here).
( 4 ) Fuck, that is my circus. Are those...? Yep. Those are my monkeys.
( 5 ) I mean, you've threatened to kill me a bunch of times. You once told me you were going to drown me in the river like a kangaroo.
( 6 ) [ wildcard... happy clairobscuraversary to those who celebrate... ]
1. I am seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
2. Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick?
3. It's my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
4. I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence.
5. Text him!
2. Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick?
3. It's my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
4. I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence.
5. Text him!
i. we get extra hour of sleep. that means we can take extra shot tonight. thank you daylight savings.
ii. i do not feel bad about all the stuff i stole from the hospital while i was there.
iii. the only way i apologize is by giving blow jobs.
iv. sex on the stairs... not the best idea.
v. text him!
ii. i do not feel bad about all the stuff i stole from the hospital while i was there.
iii. the only way i apologize is by giving blow jobs.
iv. sex on the stairs... not the best idea.
v. text him!
1: As a side note, I still have your handprint on my ass.
2: Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
3: I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
4: They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm starting to wonder what it is about me that makes me look like a lightweight.
5: Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
2: Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
3: I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
4: They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm starting to wonder what it is about me that makes me look like a lightweight.
5: Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
1. Sorry I punched your friend in the face.
2. An elderly man at the deli just flirted with me and it honestly might have been the best pick up attempt I've ever seen.
3. Quick question: is it morally sound or morally questionable to hustle a bunch of drunk douche bags at pool? And more importantly: want to help?
4. I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch, so obviously I'm doing great today.
5. I just went in the bathroom at the bar and there's three drunk girls in here listening to My Heart Will Go On, singing and crying. I'm going to join them.
2. An elderly man at the deli just flirted with me and it honestly might have been the best pick up attempt I've ever seen.
3. Quick question: is it morally sound or morally questionable to hustle a bunch of drunk douche bags at pool? And more importantly: want to help?
4. I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch, so obviously I'm doing great today.
5. I just went in the bathroom at the bar and there's three drunk girls in here listening to My Heart Will Go On, singing and crying. I'm going to join them.
1. the last thing I ate was a block of nutrient rectangles so I'll take whatever you have.
2. it turns out alcohol from the first aid kit wasn't meant for drinking.
3. am I hearing voices again or was someone talking to me
2. it turns out alcohol from the first aid kit wasn't meant for drinking.
3. am I hearing voices again or was someone talking to me
voices, simon.
come down here, i'm making us dinner. hungry?
come down here, i'm making us dinner. hungry?
01 » give me a reason to love you, aside from 'I have free beer'
02 » it's called a strip club, not a scratch and sniff club.
03 » there's nothing wrong with being a little needy
» wildcard — or bring your own.
02 » it's called a strip club, not a scratch and sniff club.
03 » there's nothing wrong with being a little needy
» wildcard — or bring your own.
Edited 2026-04-24 04:28 (UTC)
i. does me being hung over take away from how professional i can be today?
ii. we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex i’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury.
iii. when i feel bad about myself i go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention.
iv. i made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
v. text him!
ii. we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex i’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury.
iii. when i feel bad about myself i go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention.
iv. i made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
v. text him!
oh.
[how does he. respond to that.]
I haven't had sex?
[also his brain might be melting from what Grace said, so.]
[how does he. respond to that.]
I haven't had sex?
[also his brain might be melting from what Grace said, so.]
Page 1 of 6