socklessghoul (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2026-04-17 09:59 am
socklessghoul) wrote in bakerstreet2026-04-17 09:59 am
Entry tags:
1. ‘Even King Arthur couldn’t pull him out of me’ was the last voice note you sent me.
So.
Uh.
I hope that got? resolved..??
2. Yes, I know first aid – I know a little more than that, actually.
Wait why? Are you okay?
3. It doesn't seem like you need much encouragement; if anything, you need the opposite right now.
4. I can’t tell if you’re kidding…
5. It’s been a very long shift of seeing objects inserted where they’re truly not designed to go.
6.[ BYO - have finished S2, please mark spoilers for others! ]
So.
Uh.
I hope that got? resolved..??
2. Yes, I know first aid – I know a little more than that, actually.
Wait why? Are you okay?
3. It doesn't seem like you need much encouragement; if anything, you need the opposite right now.
4. I can’t tell if you’re kidding…
5. It’s been a very long shift of seeing objects inserted where they’re truly not designed to go.
6.[ BYO - have finished S2, please mark spoilers for others! ]
Edited 2026-04-17 16:12 (UTC)
1. So I just woke up in Gotham with a hospital armband containing all the information from my fake ID and "CALL ME" written in red lipstick on my chest. What the fuck happened last night?
2. Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
3. You can't text people with drinker's regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
4. My penis has made plenty of life decisions and I would like to point out very few (if any) were in my favor.
5. In case any of you were wondering, he's alive. He also intends to do the same thing tomorrow night and the night after. Good night everyone.
[Or wildcard and/or misfire something! Up to date with canon, but please mark any spoilers as a courtesy to others.]
2. Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
3. You can't text people with drinker's regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
4. My penis has made plenty of life decisions and I would like to point out very few (if any) were in my favor.
5. In case any of you were wondering, he's alive. He also intends to do the same thing tomorrow night and the night after. Good night everyone.
[Or wildcard and/or misfire something! Up to date with canon, but please mark any spoilers as a courtesy to others.]
1. You’ve got to be goddamned kidding me.
2. I didn't say you were stupid. I said you've got two fucking braincells and they're fighting each other for third place.
3. It's three in the goddamn morning; if you're about to say anything other than 'I need help', turn off your cell and go to sleep.
4. I'm going to do us both a favour and pretend you didn't just send me that.
5. Did you listen to a word I said?
6. [ text her/byo – assumed cr & misfires welcome ]
2. I didn't say you were stupid. I said you've got two fucking braincells and they're fighting each other for third place.
3. It's three in the goddamn morning; if you're about to say anything other than 'I need help', turn off your cell and go to sleep.
4. I'm going to do us both a favour and pretend you didn't just send me that.
5. Did you listen to a word I said?
6. [ text her/byo – assumed cr & misfires welcome ]
1. If you feel frisky later I have cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
2. I think misery doesn’t even think of me as company anymore. I’m unofficial roommate.
3. Do I give off "I have a sex tape" vibe?
4. There is severe lack of banging on itinerary. I would like revision on my desk within the hour.
5. Date idea: We should go to store and buy all different flavors of Lays and eat them all.
6. Serious question: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
7. There was way too much discussion about my penis at that party.
2. I think misery doesn’t even think of me as company anymore. I’m unofficial roommate.
3. Do I give off "I have a sex tape" vibe?
4. There is severe lack of banging on itinerary. I would like revision on my desk within the hour.
5. Date idea: We should go to store and buy all different flavors of Lays and eat them all.
6. Serious question: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
7. There was way too much discussion about my penis at that party.
I think you'll find it's listed as 'miscellaneous activities'.
Unless you're saying it should be listed MORE than once a day, which won't leave much time for anything else.
Unless you're saying it should be listed MORE than once a day, which won't leave much time for anything else.
1. I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blowjobs before 3 o'clock on a Thursday.
2. I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
3. I vaguely recall screaming “If I’m going down, I’m going down pretty”
4. As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again, which made everyone else cry.
5. Wildcard - text him!
( ota - misfires, wildcards, etc all welcome! )
2. I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
3. I vaguely recall screaming “If I’m going down, I’m going down pretty”
4. As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again, which made everyone else cry.
5. Wildcard - text him!
( ota - misfires, wildcards, etc all welcome! )
Edited 2026-04-17 16:02 (UTC)
1. My wife and I happen to enjoy spontaniety. We likewise prefer it when nobody is around to listen.
2. Your argument is not compelling. Cats are the superior animal.
3. Really? Your idea of romance is to spring a surprise at the last minute? When has that ever worked out for you?
4. Love makes us do things we never imagined possible. They say that we never choose love but that it chooses us. It is hard to understand this expression until you find love has chosen you.
5. Zero. The perfect rating to mirror your romantic life, I see. You must try better.
6. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻Verso┻
2. Your argument is not compelling. Cats are the superior animal.
3. Really? Your idea of romance is to spring a surprise at the last minute? When has that ever worked out for you?
4. Love makes us do things we never imagined possible. They say that we never choose love but that it chooses us. It is hard to understand this expression until you find love has chosen you.
5. Zero. The perfect rating to mirror your romantic life, I see. You must try better.
6. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻Verso┻
nice to mix it up sometimes, though.
risk of discovery can add something.
risk of discovery can add something.
1. You sent me a 20 minute voice note, most of which was you doing ‘hold music’.
2. It shouldn’t be news that I know first aid. I’m concerned why you need it, though.
3. You said you wanted an honest opinion.
4. If you’re about to send me another ‘medically relevant’ photo, you should know I’m in a packed elevator right now.
5. I don't know how else to explain to you why putting that in your mouth is a bad idea.
6. It doesn't seem like you need much encouragement; if anything, you need the opposite right now.
7. Flight’s delayed; you’ve got my attention for the next two hours at least.
What’s up?
8. [ bring your own; misfires & assumed cr all good ]
2. It shouldn’t be news that I know first aid. I’m concerned why you need it, though.
3. You said you wanted an honest opinion.
4. If you’re about to send me another ‘medically relevant’ photo, you should know I’m in a packed elevator right now.
5. I don't know how else to explain to you why putting that in your mouth is a bad idea.
6. It doesn't seem like you need much encouragement; if anything, you need the opposite right now.
7. Flight’s delayed; you’ve got my attention for the next two hours at least.
What’s up?
8. [ bring your own; misfires & assumed cr all good ]
1. "i can change him" "i can fix him" did he shit himself? are we cutting his balls off? be serious mate
2. i love when people are rude bc omg no way now it's my turn
3. i have two options, either i go missing or i get put down
4. i'd get him pregnant if i could n by god do i try
5. it's not an easy thing to admit when you're wrong and that's why i never do it
6. txt her!
1. I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender
2. I woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What happened?
3. I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
4. I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the entire hotel staff calling me ‘The Incident’.
5. Wildcard - text him!
( ota - misfires, wildcards, etc all welcome! )
2. I woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What happened?
3. I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
4. I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the entire hotel staff calling me ‘The Incident’.
5. Wildcard - text him!
( ota - misfires, wildcards, etc all welcome! )
1. How many protein bars do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
2. I shall go consult my friend whiskey on this matter.
3. According to my internet history, I spent most of last night answering every question on r/legaladvice.
4. You spent an hour narrating a car chase on TV to me--taking place in a city we don't live in--and then asked if I would "Thelma and Louise" with you if it came to that. So yeah, that's the last time I let you drink my good whiskey.
5. I'm kinda drunk and scrolling dating profiles. Why do all men sound like serial killers?
[Up to date with DD:BA but mark spoilers for others.]
2. I shall go consult my friend whiskey on this matter.
3. According to my internet history, I spent most of last night answering every question on r/legaladvice.
4. You spent an hour narrating a car chase on TV to me--taking place in a city we don't live in--and then asked if I would "Thelma and Louise" with you if it came to that. So yeah, that's the last time I let you drink my good whiskey.
5. I'm kinda drunk and scrolling dating profiles. Why do all men sound like serial killers?
[Up to date with DD:BA but mark spoilers for others.]
a. Why are threesomes only for sex? Why can't I join in a couple's argument if I want to?
b. "You don't think"? Eloquent. Very well, we can wait for someone who does think.
c. Please don't ask me to give life advice to the apprentices. There is nothing I can say that will prepare them for knighthood. I used to think knighthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong.
Multiple crisis.
Concurrently.
All at once.
All the time.
Forever.
d. He was very tipsy and kept insisting wyrms are harmless. According to him "witches bite more people than wyrms". As if it is some sort of competition.
e.[ byot! cross-canon/assumed-cr/anything ]
Bio- A relaxed shapeshifter from a world where, once a month, the moon opens an eye and triggers reality-altering events wherever it looks. After a lifetime of dead-end jobs, Yamada has recently begun using their abilities to do good as part of an anti-Moon Gaze organisation, dealing with monsters and supernatural criminals.
1. I mentally consider everyone a creature, critter or beast.
2. Date idea: we fight another couple
3. My recently hobby is turning into a spider and giggling as I hide.
4. With you the line between horrifying red flag and fun fact about you is microscopic. Tell me more.
5. "I hope nothing goes wrong today," I say as I clock into the Everything Always Goes Wrong Factory
6. girl are you a medieval executioner bc you are torturing me with your rack
7. I'm going to need some of you guys to start getting weirder. I cannot keep pulling all the weight.
8. Don't teach my kid swear words. She stays up too late looking up their origins.
9. Or wildcard!
1. I mentally consider everyone a creature, critter or beast.
2. Date idea: we fight another couple
3. My recently hobby is turning into a spider and giggling as I hide.
4. With you the line between horrifying red flag and fun fact about you is microscopic. Tell me more.
5. "I hope nothing goes wrong today," I say as I clock into the Everything Always Goes Wrong Factory
6. girl are you a medieval executioner bc you are torturing me with your rack
7. I'm going to need some of you guys to start getting weirder. I cannot keep pulling all the weight.
8. Don't teach my kid swear words. She stays up too late looking up their origins.
9. Or wildcard!
001. All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big cup.
002. If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
003. NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
004. Just getting around to doing laundry. God there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
005. Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
006. ( wildcard )
002. If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
003. NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
004. Just getting around to doing laundry. God there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
005. Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
006. ( wildcard )
1. this pussy worth every problem it gives u
2. how are u gonna say u love halloween and then cry when i ghost u
3. live each day like it's ur last cuz i'm gonna kill u but i ain't super good at schedules
4. 24 years ago 2 people had sex n now i have to go to my third job after my first 2, every day, forever
5. txt him
1. Why is your signature on my underwear?
2. You were put on this earth to give me a headache.
3. And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair.
4. The last thing I have from you is 'This dick is FDA approved'.
5. Dumbass, I drove... you sat in the passenger's seat and steered with a paper plate.
6. I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
7. Where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
8. Please stop rearranging my mugs. And my fridge for that matter.
2. You were put on this earth to give me a headache.
3. And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair.
4. The last thing I have from you is 'This dick is FDA approved'.
5. Dumbass, I drove... you sat in the passenger's seat and steered with a paper plate.
6. I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
7. Where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
8. Please stop rearranging my mugs. And my fridge for that matter.
I had nothing to do with fridge.
Mugs are better now, easiest to use are closest to front, stupidest ones in the back.
Mugs are better now, easiest to use are closest to front, stupidest ones in the back.
1. Your keys are on your kitchen counter, your shoes are drying, and I've left ibruprofen and water for you. Let me know if/when you've returned to the land of the living.
2. If anything, the 'hypothetical situation' possibly being illegal only intrigues me more.
3. No, I'm not home, but I will be soon. Why?
4. You can be a real prick, you know that?
5. If your plan involves me putting a bra back on, you’re going to have to be a little more persuasive.
6. I don't know, a little blood loss can be character building.
7. I would apologise for laughing as hard as I did, but unfortunately, it was the funniest thing I've witnessed in a while.
8. You did what?
9. [ text her! assumed cr/misfires welcome ]
2. If anything, the 'hypothetical situation' possibly being illegal only intrigues me more.
3. No, I'm not home, but I will be soon. Why?
4. You can be a real prick, you know that?
5. If your plan involves me putting a bra back on, you’re going to have to be a little more persuasive.
6. I don't know, a little blood loss can be character building.
7. I would apologise for laughing as hard as I did, but unfortunately, it was the funniest thing I've witnessed in a while.
8. You did what?
9. [ text her! assumed cr/misfires welcome ]
1. I just found a stage wristband, two eyelashes, and a chicken nugget in my purse and none of them are mine
2. I'm not a booty call or a burrito. You can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour.
3. This is me politely asking you to slam me against the wall and make out with me.
4. Someone said “shots?” and I said “therapy?” and somehow that counted.
5. Wildcard - text her!
( ota - misfires, wildcards, etc all welcome! )
2. I'm not a booty call or a burrito. You can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour.
3. This is me politely asking you to slam me against the wall and make out with me.
4. Someone said “shots?” and I said “therapy?” and somehow that counted.
5. Wildcard - text her!
( ota - misfires, wildcards, etc all welcome! )
1) I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did u really have to have grilled yogurt?
2) ur my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
3) I already hear my dad disowning me
4) awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
5) i fcuked ip.
6) [text him! ]
2) ur my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
3) I already hear my dad disowning me
4) awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
5) i fcuked ip.
6) [text him! ]
1. All this screaming and hollering.... No one appreciates a surprise visit anymore.
2. When people ask me my sexual orientation, I just say books.
3. If you're going to make out in the library, at least pick a corner away from the desks so people can't hear and see you.
4. No one wants to go to the cemetery for a first date. Or the second! It's full of history - what's so so unnerving about visiting a cemetery?
5. [text her]
2. When people ask me my sexual orientation, I just say books.
3. If you're going to make out in the library, at least pick a corner away from the desks so people can't hear and see you.
4. No one wants to go to the cemetery for a first date. Or the second! It's full of history - what's so so unnerving about visiting a cemetery?
5. [text her]
I'm sorry, what exactly was going on in the library?
[ he's going to go snitch and get everyone in trouble ]
[ he's going to go snitch and get everyone in trouble ]
001. Whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. Have a good night.
002. I'm experimenting with sincerity.
003. I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying.
004. That's still my brother. I don't want to hear your dirty fantasies about him.
005. Everything will probably be fine but I have to get really anxious just in case.
002. I'm experimenting with sincerity.
003. I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying.
004. That's still my brother. I don't want to hear your dirty fantasies about him.
005. Everything will probably be fine but I have to get really anxious just in case.
- I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
- Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
- Do you remember whose house we're in?
- I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
- [text him]
Edited 2026-04-17 16:08 (UTC)
1. Checking in, still not dead. You happy?
2. Look, when they invented chocolate stout, they should have known it would be used for ice cream floats.
3. Might fuck around and end up at synagogue tonight. Might get drunk off my ass in my hotel room. Considering a coin flip.
4. Look. I don’t want to talk about it. You don’t want to talk about it. We don’t want to talk about it. So let’s not talk about it.
5. Or bring your own text. I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
2. Look, when they invented chocolate stout, they should have known it would be used for ice cream floats.
3. Might fuck around and end up at synagogue tonight. Might get drunk off my ass in my hotel room. Considering a coin flip.
4. Look. I don’t want to talk about it. You don’t want to talk about it. We don’t want to talk about it. So let’s not talk about it.
5. Or bring your own text. I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
3 - look you mention drinking and religion and he's gonna show up
low_key_angel
- 2026-04-17 17:11 (UTC) - Expand1. Mama believed him saying it wasn't drugs because, "Leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste, so obviously it's not drugs."
2. Jesus can read your poker face. He isn't pleased.
3. Said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage he used to work in. Someone needs to stop dealing to my brother ASAP.
4. He walked in at 6 AM saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
2. Jesus can read your poker face. He isn't pleased.
3. Said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage he used to work in. Someone needs to stop dealing to my brother ASAP.
4. He walked in at 6 AM saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
01. we should go to the aquarium and every time we see a fish we kiss
02. someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
03. didyou know yiu can door dash soft pretzel to. the bar? cinnamon sugar
04. It's not a pillow fort. It's a pillow castle.
05. You wouldn't answer to anything but 'husband' all night.
02. someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
03. didyou know yiu can door dash soft pretzel to. the bar? cinnamon sugar
04. It's not a pillow fort. It's a pillow castle.
05. You wouldn't answer to anything but 'husband' all night.
1. The secret to making people pay attention when you say the fuck word is to do it sparingly, so they know you mean it when you do say a fuck.
2. I never want to see another lawyer again in my life. :c
3. But would you go to the Renn Faire with me?
4. In my pursuit of new hobbies, I have gotten a tarot deck. This is going to be my whole personality for the next three to five business months.
5. Or text her yourself! I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
2. I never want to see another lawyer again in my life. :c
3. But would you go to the Renn Faire with me?
4. In my pursuit of new hobbies, I have gotten a tarot deck. This is going to be my whole personality for the next three to five business months.
5. Or text her yourself! I’ve seen the season finale, but I can avoid spoilers on request.
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