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bakerstreet2026-03-27 12:04 am
sockfootage) wrote in bakerstreet2026-03-27 12:04 am
Entry tags:
1. She took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
2. I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
3. Look, the fact I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
4. What is wrong with you... is so attractive.
5. "Fatherless behavior" no, I had one, he just didn't teach me anything about people.
6. Got egg Mcmuffin combo, and put hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover.
7. If I am ever losing argument I just hit them with 'You want me'
2. I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
3. Look, the fact I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
4. What is wrong with you... is so attractive.
5. "Fatherless behavior" no, I had one, he just didn't teach me anything about people.
6. Got egg Mcmuffin combo, and put hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover.
7. If I am ever losing argument I just hit them with 'You want me'
I’m very proud of your self control but also Sam would be 0% surprised to find out anything.
Well, maybe a little surprised but not about me.
Well, maybe a little surprised but not about me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I’m going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I’m not picky. I just want someone who’d go down on me while I’m writing songs. That’s not a lot to ask.
He said I could live with him because I’m cheaper than a dog and don’t need a pet deposit. That and I don’t piss on the carpet.
( Text him! Misfires, assumed CR, crosscanon, cross-medium, OCs, et cetera. 25 or 35 year-old Kerry! Pick your poison or I’ll roll with whatever. )
1. they said he didn't die so what's the problem?
2. there weren't any signs saying i couldn't.
3. he's too busy for you. [ kamui just doesn't want you interacting with his most precious person actually sorry??? but not sorry??? at all???? ]
4. gross. i don't want it. [ he'd rather starve than drink blood from just anyone. ]
5. it's not like silver actually kills me.
6. [ send your own/misfire him. ]
1. You know where to find me. -SH
2. I can’t believe you made a group text to argue with me about Tesco.
3. "Fuck Trophy" is the ultimate baby nickname.
4. [Only the following attachment comes through.]
5. Text him! (Assumed CR, OCs, AUs, and cross-canon welcomed. Misfires are ♥)
2. I can’t believe you made a group text to argue with me about Tesco.
3. "Fuck Trophy" is the ultimate baby nickname.
4. [Only the following attachment comes through.]
5. Text him! (Assumed CR, OCs, AUs, and cross-canon welcomed. Misfires are ♥)
Edited (html) 2026-03-27 04:07 (UTC)
- 1. I never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to Hell.
2. Can you hurry and man up so you'll watch Ponyo with me??
3. Did he hurt you?? Where is he? I have business to take care of.
4. Maybe you don't have a Type but you definitely have a Pattern.
5. ( text him! )
1. Role call! Who’s not dead after last night?
2. I'm not your therapist, your rabbi or your parent. Thank G-d.
3.Yes I do have a handcuff key in my bag. I also know how to shim them open. Where are you?
4. I hate to have to ask you this, but what’s an ‘omegaverse’?
5. Or bring your own!
2. I'm not your therapist, your rabbi or your parent. Thank G-d.
3.Yes I do have a handcuff key in my bag. I also know how to shim them open. Where are you?
4. I hate to have to ask you this, but what’s an ‘omegaverse’?
5. Or bring your own!
Before I tell you, you have to tell me WHY you're asking.
1. I’m beginning to realize how messed up it was that my parents’ favorite compliment for me was that I was “low maintenance”.
2. I’m at a party and I don’t know anyone, so I locked myself in the bathroom with the dog, but eventually someone’s going to need the toilet. Help?
3. There’s something kind of relaxing about donating blood. You don’t need to do anything but exist and have a heartbeat for a while, and then they give you juice and cookies.
4. Is it weird if I liked it when she told me to just shut up and listen to her?
5. Or your text here!
2. I’m at a party and I don’t know anyone, so I locked myself in the bathroom with the dog, but eventually someone’s going to need the toilet. Help?
3. There’s something kind of relaxing about donating blood. You don’t need to do anything but exist and have a heartbeat for a while, and then they give you juice and cookies.
4. Is it weird if I liked it when she told me to just shut up and listen to her?
5. Or your text here!
Happy to help but first I have a very important question:
What kind of dog is it?
What kind of dog is it?
1. I want to lock you in my basement and watch you drink milk from a fork ❤️
2. I've really been into making playlists recently.
3. I'm calling you stupid, as in stupid as hell, a dumb idiotic sh*t for brains moron.
4. Never let salespeople from the department store spray you with random perfumes. I'm about to vomit, I smell like a musty scrote.
5. [ text him! ota, assumed cr, and crosscanon are loved🩷 ]
2. I've really been into making playlists recently.
3. I'm calling you stupid, as in stupid as hell, a dumb idiotic sh*t for brains moron.
4. Never let salespeople from the department store spray you with random perfumes. I'm about to vomit, I smell like a musty scrote.
5. [ text him! ota, assumed cr, and crosscanon are loved🩷 ]
Edited 2026-03-27 04:09 (UTC)
😳❤️!!!! i think we tagged each other at the same time ehehehe
beheaded
- 2026-03-27 04:43 (UTC) - Expandlol probably. me like yay more Twisted Wonderland characters around
carpetrides
- 2026-03-27 04:54 (UTC) - Expandooh nice, the events are especially cute so you're guaranteed a good time ❤️
beheaded
- 2026-03-27 05:45 (UTC) - ExpandJust watching through Nightdragon223 on Youtube. Almost finished Book 6.
carpetrides
- 2026-03-27 06:11 (UTC) - Expand[ trying something diff with using emojis instead of numbers this time ✌️ ]
🖐️ - So, I don't know where I am right now and I really don't need you yelling at me about it.
🖕- I'm going to flashbang those fucking wasps.
👏 - We are going to Denny's. End of discussion.
👎 - I'd rather shit knives.
👍 - Text him!
🖐️ - So, I don't know where I am right now and I really don't need you yelling at me about it.
🖕- I'm going to flashbang those fucking wasps.
👏 - We are going to Denny's. End of discussion.
👎 - I'd rather shit knives.
👍 - Text him!
1. one of the press secs couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said FUCK BOY was calling.
2. at this point a monastery might be a nice break from real life.
3. you tried to fight someone about spaghettios and then signed off with chef boyardeez nuts.
4. slept in the back of an abandoned uhaul. lose some dignity gain a cool new knife.
5. you know that grindr they set up as a joke? dude just hit me up and called me "bro."
6. text him ig
2. at this point a monastery might be a nice break from real life.
3. you tried to fight someone about spaghettios and then signed off with chef boyardeez nuts.
4. slept in the back of an abandoned uhaul. lose some dignity gain a cool new knife.
5. you know that grindr they set up as a joke? dude just hit me up and called me "bro."
6. text him ig
[ fUCK he shouldn't laugh about that ]
Guess I was feeling very passionate about canned pasta???
Guess I was feeling very passionate about canned pasta???
( 1 ) I'm not just a silly goose. I'm also a very philosophical and passionate goose.
( 2 ) Accidentally became important at work and it's ruining my life.
( 3 ) If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong, I don't want to be right.
( 4 ) Can I accept you unconditionally or are you gonna be weird about it?
( 5 ) [ wildcard me! cool w/ cross-everything. v v v rusty be nice to me ]
( 2 ) Accidentally became important at work and it's ruining my life.
( 3 ) If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong, I don't want to be right.
( 4 ) Can I accept you unconditionally or are you gonna be weird about it?
( 5 ) [ wildcard me! cool w/ cross-everything. v v v rusty be nice to me ]
1. Relaxing at about 91 thoughts per minute!
2. Was out of reception range for a while. All I got from your message was something about "lost dignity"?
3. The last thing I have from you is 'This dick is FDA approved'.
4. How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
5. iii wasnt going to drink but then there was alcohol and the producers r so pushyyyy
so you
know!
??
6. Why is it weird to wear socks to bed?
7. I don't even exist on the same plane of existence as drunk karaoke.
8. bring your own!
2. Was out of reception range for a while. All I got from your message was something about "lost dignity"?
3. The last thing I have from you is 'This dick is FDA approved'.
4. How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
5. iii wasnt going to drink but then there was alcohol and the producers r so pushyyyy
so you
know!
??
6. Why is it weird to wear socks to bed?
7. I don't even exist on the same plane of existence as drunk karaoke.
8. bring your own!
Fuck. You are drunk and I am not there to see? Wait. Where is photo shoot?
1. the scratches are from a seagull you challenged to a duel because it 'looked at me funny.'
2. sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls on fire.
3. is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
4. this is a conversation you should be having with a therapist.
5. offered to eat fruit loops out of my belly button drunk. that's how drunk
6. or just text her. I’m not picky.
2. sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls on fire.
3. is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
4. this is a conversation you should be having with a therapist.
5. offered to eat fruit loops out of my belly button drunk. that's how drunk
6. or just text her. I’m not picky.
( 1 ) I think that I deal with a lot of nothing. I've never had a problem.
( 2 ) I'm microdosing death by going to sleep.
( 3 ) Don't care + I handled that poorly
( 4 ) I am simultaneously my family's black sheep and gold star and that's why I am the way I am.
( 5 ) [ wildcard if you wish!!! cross-everything a-ok ]
( 2 ) I'm microdosing death by going to sleep.
( 3 ) Don't care + I handled that poorly
( 4 ) I am simultaneously my family's black sheep and gold star and that's why I am the way I am.
( 5 ) [ wildcard if you wish!!! cross-everything a-ok ]
Is THAT what you're doing. How is that working out for you?
1. the last thing I remember is arm wrestling a marine for their hat. why do I have a full uniform?
2. when have you ever known me to go too far?
3. and you said wrestling with a tiger was a bad idea.
4. found a nine minute video on my phone of you arguing with actual moss
5. escaped the ambulance. back at the bar
2. when have you ever known me to go too far?
3. and you said wrestling with a tiger was a bad idea.
4. found a nine minute video on my phone of you arguing with actual moss
5. escaped the ambulance. back at the bar
1.) So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
2.) You should get sea herpes.
...
I mean sea horses. Damn it autocorrect!!!
3.) Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
4.) I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass.
5.) Text her
2.) You should get sea herpes.
...
I mean sea horses. Damn it autocorrect!!!
3.) Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
4.) I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass.
5.) Text her
It's not s'mores unless fire is involved.
Luckily, I've got a Bunsen burner in the kitchen.
Luckily, I've got a Bunsen burner in the kitchen.
1. hey do me a favor and light me on fire?? i feel like i'm losing my spark
2. uh yeah. given the opportunity i WOULD in fact sell my soul at a crossroads at midnight
3. keep in mind i'll always be here to give you immoral support
4. hey so you’ve hardly touched my last nerve. are you okay?
5. text him. misfires, assumed cr, etc, etc.
2. uh yeah. given the opportunity i WOULD in fact sell my soul at a crossroads at midnight
3. keep in mind i'll always be here to give you immoral support
4. hey so you’ve hardly touched my last nerve. are you okay?
5. text him. misfires, assumed cr, etc, etc.
You better only be saying that in order to be clever.
1. Either stop staring at me or kiss me already.
2. I stole so many things from the ER last night.
3. I can feel my liver failing just looking at that thing.
4. With all due respect, which is none, no.
5. Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
2. I stole so many things from the ER last night.
3. I can feel my liver failing just looking at that thing.
4. With all due respect, which is none, no.
5. Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It’s hard being the only straw hat with a braincell
tangerinetides
- 2026-03-27 07:48 (UTC) - Expand(1) you know, i'm really not sure why anyone would come to me for dating advice
but i guess i've left a lighter trial of wreckage than grayson and drake in my wake
so i've got that going for me
(2) this is the body of someone who just ate too much cheese and now his tummy hurts a little
[ with the prerequisite shirtless gym selfie attached. ]
(3) just to be clear, that's "can i bench press you" as in "am i allowed to"
not "am i able to"
because that is obviously a yes
(4) part of the joy of being undercover as a flashy crime boss is getting to relive my great gatsby dreams
so come on old sport, live a little
(5) so i stole one of roman's sports cars and honestly, wanna have sex on the leather seats before i drive it into the harbor?
(6) [ or text him yourself, he is... often in a Way. ]
but i guess i've left a lighter trial of wreckage than grayson and drake in my wake
so i've got that going for me
(2) this is the body of someone who just ate too much cheese and now his tummy hurts a little
[ with the prerequisite shirtless gym selfie attached. ]
(3) just to be clear, that's "can i bench press you" as in "am i allowed to"
not "am i able to"
because that is obviously a yes
(4) part of the joy of being undercover as a flashy crime boss is getting to relive my great gatsby dreams
so come on old sport, live a little
(5) so i stole one of roman's sports cars and honestly, wanna have sex on the leather seats before i drive it into the harbor?
(6) [ or text him yourself, he is... often in a Way. ]
yeah, yeah, i weigh like 3 grapes to you
are you planning on saying any variation of
'she likes to be tall' or 'uppies' while doing this?
are you planning on saying any variation of
'she likes to be tall' or 'uppies' while doing this?
1. I need you to settle something. Does 'don't punch the horse' or 'you can't control battlefield instincts, boss' sound worse?
2. Lets be honest, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship. I knew this.
3. So I finished the whole bottle next thing I know it's in the morning and I woke up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing thirty feet from me just staring
4. Text him?
2. Lets be honest, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship. I knew this.
3. So I finished the whole bottle next thing I know it's in the morning and I woke up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing thirty feet from me just staring
4. Text him?
Why would someone want to punch a horse? They are magnificent creatures undeserving of that sort of terrible treatment!
1. just because i tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent.
2. i have a king size bed, i guarantee multiple orgasms, and i’ll give you a ride home in the morning. respond quickly.
3. thanks for waiting twelve hours to ask if i was in a ditch or not.
4. normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
5. i’m sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired. if you wish to renew your card you must submit a recent nude picture. please note that not all requests for a fwb card are accepted.
6. i’m texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
7. by "whatever happens, happens"... i meant "we are absolutely hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
( ooc: voicetesting! ota for gen and shipping, crosscanon okay, assumed CR okay. )
2. i have a king size bed, i guarantee multiple orgasms, and i’ll give you a ride home in the morning. respond quickly.
3. thanks for waiting twelve hours to ask if i was in a ditch or not.
4. normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
5. i’m sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired. if you wish to renew your card you must submit a recent nude picture. please note that not all requests for a fwb card are accepted.
6. i’m texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
7. by "whatever happens, happens"... i meant "we are absolutely hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
( ooc: voicetesting! ota for gen and shipping, crosscanon okay, assumed CR okay. )
only so i could laugh at you, and perhaps ensure these dogs piss on you when they go on their walkies(1) Is this your way of telling me that you had another sex dream about me?
(2) I'm at the point in my life where I consider any trip to the bar that doesn't result in a broken nose a successful one, honestly.
(3) Listen, if you want to make out with her so badly, just go ahead, I don't know why you feel the need to agonize about it to me.
(4) No, you can absolutely not call me "daddy" while you're in the field. You know those calls are recorded, right?
(5) [ or you can bring a wild card/misfire/etc. for this poor overworked disaster of a man. ota, cross canon approved, and i don't bite. ]
(2) I'm at the point in my life where I consider any trip to the bar that doesn't result in a broken nose a successful one, honestly.
(3) Listen, if you want to make out with her so badly, just go ahead, I don't know why you feel the need to agonize about it to me.
(4) No, you can absolutely not call me "daddy" while you're in the field. You know those calls are recorded, right?
(5) [ or you can bring a wild card/misfire/etc. for this poor overworked disaster of a man. ota, cross canon approved, and i don't bite. ]
This is very optimistic of you! I have to ask, though. How many times have you had a broken nose?
1. I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
2. Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
3. And I’m pretty sure he drank the lava lamp...
4. I think it’s time we have the “weird fetish” talk.
5. But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
6. He’s eating a cream cheese sandwich. He’s obviously distressed.
7. I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like?
( ooc: ota for gen and shipping, crosscanon okay, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible, i am up to date with anime & manga. )
2. Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
3. And I’m pretty sure he drank the lava lamp...
4. I think it’s time we have the “weird fetish” talk.
5. But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
6. He’s eating a cream cheese sandwich. He’s obviously distressed.
7. I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like?
( ooc: ota for gen and shipping, crosscanon okay, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible, i am up to date with anime & manga. )
1. I need to break up with him. I realized this while I was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. This is not the first time I've done that.
2. You've given and recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
3. Did you really have to spike the whole pot of coffee?
4. The majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're sexy", or "curry udon".
5. My very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
6. You started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week, so I turned on the shower and let you jump around in it.
7. I didn’t think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone.
2. You've given and recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
3. Did you really have to spike the whole pot of coffee?
4. The majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're sexy", or "curry udon".
5. My very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
6. You started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week, so I turned on the shower and let you jump around in it.
7. I didn’t think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone.
NOTHING OF THE SORT HAPPENED!!!
my boots are PINK like my hair1. If you ever tell anyone that I have emotions, I WILL kill you.
2. What’s a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
3. I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
4. Therapists aren’t actually allowed to tell you you’re a lost cause so they come up with personality disorders instead.
5. text him. proper canon version available upon request!
2. What’s a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
3. I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
4. Therapists aren’t actually allowed to tell you you’re a lost cause so they come up with personality disorders instead.
5. text him. proper canon version available upon request!
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