big fish (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
liltuna) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2026-03-20 12:11 pm
liltuna) wrote in bakerstreet2026-03-20 12:11 pm
1.) After last night's cooking experiments, I have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery.
2.) Do you ever think popsicles get sad when they're split up from one another?
3.) According to the internet, muffins say "love me", waffles say "shag me", so what do cupcakes mean??
4.) There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my flat. It's starting to scare me.
5.) Text her
2.) Do you ever think popsicles get sad when they're split up from one another?
3.) According to the internet, muffins say "love me", waffles say "shag me", so what do cupcakes mean??
4.) There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my flat. It's starting to scare me.
5.) Text her
bwahaha literally as I tag you on your top level XD
bumblebee_tights
- 2026-03-20 17:22 (UTC) - Expand- 1. Did he hurt you?? Where is he? I have business to take care of.
2. Sorry for being impatient, I was just really excited to see you.
3. Maybe you don't have a Type but you definitely have a Pattern.
4. I never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.
5. ( text him! )
1. "God has a place for everyone," they say, but they get so mad when I say my place is 'nemesis'.
2. pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels
3. Those pants were so tight I'm pretty sure I could have read text through them.
4. Why did you think I'd want to see that? Not that I'm saying I didn't.
5. Whipped cream and salsa.
6. Every place has 'no smoking' signs these days but this one was just a statement of fact somehow.
2. pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels pretzels
3. Those pants were so tight I'm pretty sure I could have read text through them.
4. Why did you think I'd want to see that? Not that I'm saying I didn't.
5. Whipped cream and salsa.
6. Every place has 'no smoking' signs these days but this one was just a statement of fact somehow.
1. It isn't illegal if I only think it.
2. In my defense white mages all wear the same robes.
3. RED CHOCOBOS ARE REAL.
4. She was super cute and that did nothing for me. I'm starting to question just how bad I'm doing.
5. You left me some, right?
2. In my defense white mages all wear the same robes.
3. RED CHOCOBOS ARE REAL.
4. She was super cute and that did nothing for me. I'm starting to question just how bad I'm doing.
5. You left me some, right?
1. when someone tells u that u can't pet a wild animal that's real hater mentality. "it's gonna attack you" uuuhhh? have u considered that i will be extra nice??
2. Someone is still listening to the music you've showed them.
3. Disobedience is the foundation of liberty.
4. When I call you bb it stands for baked beans, not baby.
5. my kink: people with a kind heart and horny intentions
6. Due to unforeseeable circumstances i'm
2. Someone is still listening to the music you've showed them.
3. Disobedience is the foundation of liberty.
4. When I call you bb it stands for baked beans, not baby.
5. my kink: people with a kind heart and horny intentions
6. Due to unforeseeable circumstances i'm
1. Then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me, and that we could try again tomorrow.
It was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
2. I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
3. Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis real quick.
4. You’re the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
5. That’s because “bed time” is my sex playlist. If you’re trying to fall asleep, use “nap time”.
6. For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke four of the bar’s glasses tonight, and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
7. ( wildcard option, bring your own text. voicetesting, m/any okay, assumed CR okay, crosscanon okay. tl;dr higuruma is a tired 36-year old defense attorney & sorcerer. )
It was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
2. I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
3. Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis real quick.
4. You’re the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
5. That’s because “bed time” is my sex playlist. If you’re trying to fall asleep, use “nap time”.
6. For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke four of the bar’s glasses tonight, and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
7. ( wildcard option, bring your own text. voicetesting, m/any okay, assumed CR okay, crosscanon okay. tl;dr higuruma is a tired 36-year old defense attorney & sorcerer. )
Good. Eurgh, what did he do, pick up techs from porn? (You don't gotta answer.)
Doesn't sound like he's the learning and self-reflection type. Gross.
Doesn't sound like he's the learning and self-reflection type. Gross.
1. This 'fourthmeal' idea is way too smart to just be a slogan from a place that doesn't even have a bell despite the name.
2. Is this supposed to be fun or should I bring my sword? Setting aside that I always do.
3. That's another pop culture reference I'm not getting, isn't it.
4. I'm wearing twice as much clothing as anyone else here. It's cold outside and I have fur. I don't understand people here at all.
5. How is it 'breaking and entering' when I went over the fence! Nothing is broken!
2. Is this supposed to be fun or should I bring my sword? Setting aside that I always do.
3. That's another pop culture reference I'm not getting, isn't it.
4. I'm wearing twice as much clothing as anyone else here. It's cold outside and I have fur. I don't understand people here at all.
5. How is it 'breaking and entering' when I went over the fence! Nothing is broken!
1. You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
2. Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
3. What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
4. Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
5. I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon! You're welcome America.
2. Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
3. What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
4. Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
5. I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon! You're welcome America.
1.) My dick's big but it's regular big... some of these guys are walking around with like 12 inches of meat and I'm like you're causing dick inflation out here.
2.) I think I have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. It's an awkward vomit.
3.) Not gonna lie!! I had to look up how to spell fellatio. Still not sure I spelled it right even now because it just looks like the name of a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
4.) The Jesus-people on the corner asked me what I do for joy. I said I love tacos and kinky sex.
5.) Text this mess.
2.) I think I have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. It's an awkward vomit.
3.) Not gonna lie!! I had to look up how to spell fellatio. Still not sure I spelled it right even now because it just looks like the name of a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
4.) The Jesus-people on the corner asked me what I do for joy. I said I love tacos and kinky sex.
5.) Text this mess.
1. I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
2. All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
3. So how was the sex with me last night?
4. Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
5. You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
2. All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
3. So how was the sex with me last night?
4. Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
5. You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
...you know that's actually kind of brilliant. Were the tortillas part of the meal?
1. he called me a degenerate, two-faced catholic slut, so i had to deck him. i can't argue the rest, but two-faced??
2. might head to ikea and see if they can help me assemble a will to live. you need anything?
3. had a panic attack in the grocery store bc too many people remember i exist, so that was fun.
4. yeah, you drunk-dialed me at 4am and asked me to marry you.
5. [ text/misfire him! ]
i) you can’t tell me it’s over and send me pics of you and your cat
ii) twenty year olds can still do oral in a car right? or is that trashy?
iii) hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
iv) this just proves how much faith i have in “us”.. what should we be for halloween..?
v) you need to let me be on top sometimes. i gotta get rid of these love handles.
vi) WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
vii) three things i need a picture of: your friend, your kitchen table, and your dick.
( ooc: voicetesting! ota for gen and shipping, crosscanon okay, assumed CR okay. )
ii) twenty year olds can still do oral in a car right? or is that trashy?
iii) hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
iv) this just proves how much faith i have in “us”.. what should we be for halloween..?
v) you need to let me be on top sometimes. i gotta get rid of these love handles.
vi) WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
vii) three things i need a picture of: your friend, your kitchen table, and your dick.
( ooc: voicetesting! ota for gen and shipping, crosscanon okay, assumed CR okay. )
1. Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
2. I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
3. Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
4. Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
5. Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
2. I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
3. Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
4. Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
5. Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
001. just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
002. Just put me in your contacts as coyote
003. You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are "epic bros", that's just not cool. Return him.
004. After an hour of searching for her pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
005. ( wildcard )
002. Just put me in your contacts as coyote
003. You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are "epic bros", that's just not cool. Return him.
004. After an hour of searching for her pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
005. ( wildcard )
1. I'm glad you found a bright side. I'm just slightly concerned over what you consider bright.
2. If we invented a holiday, what would it be?
3. Subtle isn't quite how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night.
4. You can't "just see what happens" with glitter. It is not a neutral substance.
5. I just want to sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well, maybe. But sleep first.
6. [Text him!]
2. If we invented a holiday, what would it be?
3. Subtle isn't quite how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night.
4. You can't "just see what happens" with glitter. It is not a neutral substance.
5. I just want to sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well, maybe. But sleep first.
6. [Text him!]
Edited 2026-03-20 16:20 (UTC)
1. i have been nothing but strange and off-putting to you and this is how you treat me
2. aaaand you’re banished from the realm. you are not welcome at the next campaign
3. sure it's kind of bad when you call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar, but it's the truth
4. scooby doo is a dog who can talk which is amazing
but he largely uses his powers of speech to communicate how scared he is of ghosts and monsters, right??? and ALL HIS OWNERS DO. IS DRIVE HIM AROUND THE COUNTRY TO VARIOUS HAUNTED HOUSES AND SHIT
i wish i could take scooby doo aside
i wish i could tell him these people are not his friends
5. text him! misfires, assumed cr, etc, etc.
2. aaaand you’re banished from the realm. you are not welcome at the next campaign
3. sure it's kind of bad when you call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar, but it's the truth
4. scooby doo is a dog who can talk which is amazing
but he largely uses his powers of speech to communicate how scared he is of ghosts and monsters, right??? and ALL HIS OWNERS DO. IS DRIVE HIM AROUND THE COUNTRY TO VARIOUS HAUNTED HOUSES AND SHIT
i wish i could take scooby doo aside
i wish i could tell him these people are not his friends
5. text him! misfires, assumed cr, etc, etc.
Edited 2026-03-20 16:52 (UTC)
1. i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
2. So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
3. Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked her roommate.
4. Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
5. on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-girlfriends, table legs, and police officers.
2. So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
3. Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked her roommate.
4. Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
5. on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-girlfriends, table legs, and police officers.
jimmy darling | ahs: freak show | open to cross-canon/medium, misfires & assumed cr
jimmydarling
2026-03-20 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
a. no, no, i'm fine. I even stopped crying like five minutes ago.
b. tried to talk to someone on the bus about a book they had, and they said I 'didnt look like I could read'. so I threw their glasses out the window and said well then now BOTH of us can't read, dipshit!
anyway, walking home now. bus driver didn't think that was funny.
c. so uh, grief counseling sucks and everyone lied to me. I felt WAY worse during that than if I'd stayed home.
d. nah, don't apologize, you were fine. I've had more awkward first meetings...are you usually that drunk by noon, though?
e. really? I'm halfway through a house party, I got ladies lined up outside the room just waiting to pay, and NOW is when your dumbass calls about needing a ride from me?
f. how you holding up? Last I saw you, you looked like you were about to have a nervous breakdown, no offense.
g. being sober in a room full of drunks has gotta be a circle of hell.
h. [ text him ]
b. tried to talk to someone on the bus about a book they had, and they said I 'didnt look like I could read'. so I threw their glasses out the window and said well then now BOTH of us can't read, dipshit!
anyway, walking home now. bus driver didn't think that was funny.
c. so uh, grief counseling sucks and everyone lied to me. I felt WAY worse during that than if I'd stayed home.
d. nah, don't apologize, you were fine. I've had more awkward first meetings...are you usually that drunk by noon, though?
e. really? I'm halfway through a house party, I got ladies lined up outside the room just waiting to pay, and NOW is when your dumbass calls about needing a ride from me?
f. how you holding up? Last I saw you, you looked like you were about to have a nervous breakdown, no offense.
g. being sober in a room full of drunks has gotta be a circle of hell.
h. [ text him ]
That is the very definition of "that escalated quickly". So yeah. Probably shouldn't have done that.
[ But did she laugh when she read that text? You bet she did. ]
[ But did she laugh when she read that text? You bet she did. ]
Edited 2026-03-20 16:38 (UTC)
1. If you feel like laying around to the dulcet tones of the Rangers game, that's where I'll be for the next several hours. Not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
2. The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
3. You yelled, "New year, new me, dumbass" at me. As a reminder, it's March.
4. Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine just happens to last forever and there's nothing wrong with that.
5. I promised I'd be at Mass in six hours so if you want to do something that I'll need to repent for, now's the time.
2. The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
3. You yelled, "New year, new me, dumbass" at me. As a reminder, it's March.
4. Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine just happens to last forever and there's nothing wrong with that.
5. I promised I'd be at Mass in six hours so if you want to do something that I'll need to repent for, now's the time.
Is it truly worse or just a smart move to try and get laid again as quick as possible?
1. Is that... Sorry... Did you just send me erotic fanfiction... about ME?
2.He drunkenly screamed, 'I fucking hate hedgehogs, come at me ya jabby lil cunt' while angrily circling a hairbrush that had been dropped on the floor.
3.WHY IS THE THRONE UPSIDE-DOWN?!
4. 'I'll see you in hell' should really be followed with 'and I won't even stop to say hi.' Otherwise, you're just making plans with someone you hate...
Text him, cast sending, whatever. It's finally Friday.
2.He drunkenly screamed, 'I fucking hate hedgehogs, come at me ya jabby lil cunt' while angrily circling a hairbrush that had been dropped on the floor.
3.WHY IS THE THRONE UPSIDE-DOWN?!
4. 'I'll see you in hell' should really be followed with 'and I won't even stop to say hi.' Otherwise, you're just making plans with someone you hate...
Text him, cast sending, whatever. It's finally Friday.
It depends. That could be a threat from the right being.
1. No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
2. Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. I'm justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
3. Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
4. My vagina senses are tingling. I know you're here.
5. I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
2. Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. I'm justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
3. Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
4. My vagina senses are tingling. I know you're here.
5. I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
( Please mark spoilers for others.)
1. we can use the mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. problem solved.
2. our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance.also, lots of blood. how was yours?
3. sitting in the prison waiting room in some other guys clothes. looooong story.
4. who is this? the number is saved as "sexy awesome"?
5. [text him]
Edited 2026-03-20 16:27 (UTC)
I love the crew so much and their insanity and found fam together.
reindered
- 2026-03-20 20:44 (UTC) - Expanda. well, that's very sweet of you. i have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
b. i just wish they would stop trying to bring their emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
c. yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
d. i didn't mean that as an expression. i'm literally asking if you want to watch netflix and do nothing.
or, text him.
b. i just wish they would stop trying to bring their emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
c. yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
d. i didn't mean that as an expression. i'm literally asking if you want to watch netflix and do nothing.
or, text him.
1: Making a bucket list for felonies to commit. Suggestions?
2: I didn't do it this time. But I will next time.
3: Good news. I'm still alive. Or is that bad news?
4: Oh, I wouldn't say the night was completely wasted yet. There's still time.
5: Hit by a car. Rest in peace, car.
6: Your text here!
2: I didn't do it this time. But I will next time.
3: Good news. I'm still alive. Or is that bad news?
4: Oh, I wouldn't say the night was completely wasted yet. There's still time.
5: Hit by a car. Rest in peace, car.
6: Your text here!
1. She took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
2. I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
3. She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
4. I am bored, tell me something entertaining.
5. Yes, I know where it is. No, I will not be giving back.
6. He said my life is far too together for someone who is such a hot mess inside.
7. Can you legally marry burritos? Asking for science.
8. Or bring your own!
2. I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
3. She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
4. I am bored, tell me something entertaining.
5. Yes, I know where it is. No, I will not be giving back.
6. He said my life is far too together for someone who is such a hot mess inside.
7. Can you legally marry burritos? Asking for science.
8. Or bring your own!
Edited 2026-03-20 16:27 (UTC)
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