bakerstreet | (no subject)

Open the window, Stiles. [He considered threatening to break it, but thought of something better.] Open the window or I go show your father the highly inappropriate picture his son sent me and tell him how worried I am about your high risk behavior.

Hey!

[Stiles did open the window, but it was to put his head out and glare at Derek.]

You're the one that sent me a picture of lube. Should I show my dad that, huh? Tell him that you suggested it for me?

[All he really needed was the window opened, wedging his leg in and pushing Stiles out of the way so he could climb inside.]

I was only trying to be helpful and prevent unnecessary chafing.

[The innocent expression on lasted for about a second before Derek was glaring at him again.]

I'm starting to think you want me to do you bodily harm.

Why? Because I'm giving as good as I'm getting? You threaten me with my dad and I do the same and suddenly I'm the bad guy? I think maybe some werewolves need a nap.

[He was not happy with being pushed out of the way and he stood there, arms folded as he glowered at Derek.]

Not that.

[ He moved closer to Stiles, doing his best to invade his personal space as he studied him, still frowning.]

Why did you - [He shook his head.] Why do you always have to provoke me?

[Stiles did his best not to move away, still glaring up at Derek as the werewolf moved closer.]

You start it. I was all tucked away in bed and you just.. stuff. Stuff, Derek.

Stuff? That's really the answer you're going with? You consistently drive me insane and it's because of stuff?

Oh, well, if you want the answer to that it's because you're an entitled dick. But hey, I was trying to be nice.

I'm not - you're just -

[He growled low in his throat, it wasn't a threatening sound, more extreme frustration being vocalized. He grabbed Stiles shirt in his fists and he shook him a little to make himself feel better.]

[Oh, sure, just shake him around. That isn't going to prove his point or anything.

Stiles' hand comes up and grabs at Derek's wrists. He tastes blood, his tooth having caught at his lip because he wasn't expecting the move and he tries to pull Derek's hand free.]

What the hell? We're back to shoving and pushing now? I thought maybe you'd grown out of that phase. Clearly I was wrong.

And here I keep hoping you'll grow out of being a pain in my ass. Clearly I'm wrong.

[His nostrils flare as he gets whiff of a copperish scent from Stiles and the grip on his shirt eases up. The annoyed frown shifts to one with a hint of concern in it.]

Are you ... bleeding?

Like you care.

[His tongue moves out to lick over the small wound, tasting blood and grimacing.]

Are you done huffing and puffing yet?

[As much as he always wanted to do whatever possible to physically stop the endless sarcasm flood, he didn't want to make him bleed.

His gaze caught on his mouth and he let go of his shirt completely, giving a deliberate huff in response.]

Once I find a better way to shut you up, it'll stop.

Sorry but muzzles are for werewolves only. So now that you've come over and beat me up after threatening to show my dad a picture I sent of someone else's dick after sending me lube ideas, are we about done now? Or do you have some new torment to shove on me.

Wait, don't tell me you write poetry...

Ball gags exist, you know. Pretty sure they were created with people like you in mind.

[ He rolled his eyes. Of course the part where he'd been texted first was left out.]

You weren't beat up, if I actually intended to hurt you you know it'd be more then an accidental split lip.

[He reached into his jacket pocket and tossed the small tube of vanilla scented lubricant at him.]

Now we're done.

[He caught it on reflex, looking down with a frown at what was in his hand. Then he gaped.]

What the... How did... Where did... What the hell, Derek?

[He blushed bright red, tossing the container off towards his bed. Yes, because that was better.]

[That look on his face and the blush makes every single second of frustration worth it and he grins.]

I didn't have peach.

Oh my god, I hate you. I can't believe you just--

God.

[He shoves at Derek before going over to pick up the container and quickly shove it in a drawer. Hidden away. Like his shame.]

I believe the words you are looking for are 'thank' and 'you'.

[He chuckled softly.]

It's water-based so you won't stain anything annnd it taste good, if you ever have the occasion to lick it off someone that is.

...

[The utter shock that's written on Stiles' face could be apparent from the moon.]

I'm not-- There's no licking. Or tasting. And the words I'm looking for certainly end in 'you'.

[He's red to the roots of his hair and he can feel it, so the best thing to do is clearly to sit on the bed with his back to Derek. Because hello... why were they talking about him licking flavored lube off of anything?]

[ Yeeess. He'd found it, found the thing that could fluster Stiles and make him shut up however briefly.

He's tasted victory and he can't leave it alone. He ignored the grumbling to move to the side of his bed, so that his voice would come from right behind him.]

It warms up, too. If you blow on it.

[He jumped. He hadn't meant to, but he also hadn't expected Derek to be that close.]

Dammit, Hale. Why? Why are you doing this? This is... totally unfair. Seriously. It was one dick picture. One.

[He huffed again, the annoyed sigh only partially faked.]

You ever consider that I was trying to be nice?

[Wanting to get back at him for that stupid picture wasn't the reason he'd grabbed the lube he'd just bought for himself. He'd been intending to leave it when he left without saying anything, but nothing went according to plan with Stiles involved.]

Yeah, well, your nice sucks. What am I going to do with flavored lube that warms up when you blow on it? Not like I'm that flexible, duh.

So does yours. Find someone to blow you.

[The unsaid duh was evident in his voice.]

It warms from touch, too, and even if it didn't it still feels good. Slick is better.