laying in bed all day (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
f6f6f6) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2026-02-27 12:00 am
f6f6f6) wrote in bakerstreet2026-02-27 12:00 am
Entry tags:
1 ► Relaxing at about 91 thoughts per minute!
2 ► what is wrong with you... it is so attractive
3 ► please don't take my horse piece in chess, i like him :(
4 ► Which herb do I give off? 1. Basil 2. Oregano 3. Parsley 4. Dill 5. Bay leaf 6. Rosemary 7. Mint
1 ► As my father always said: What the hell is wrong with you?
2 ► What are some beginner wants for someone just getting into desire?
3 ► "fatherless behavior" no, I had one, he just didn't teach me anything about people
4 ► He will not be hearing from me tonight. But everyone else will definitely be hearing about him.
1. We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet…
2. I swiped right for the same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night.
3. I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
4. Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover.
5. (text first? AOK with assumed cr / misfires / etc! )
2. I swiped right for the same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night.
3. I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
4. Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover.
5. (text first? AOK with assumed cr / misfires / etc! )
001. Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch.
002. I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
003. Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
004. Oh please. You given/received a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
005. I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee.
002. I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
003. Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
004. Oh please. You given/received a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
005. I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee.
1. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.
2. I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my dating life.
3. Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it.
4. The air tastes purple.
5. [ Text first? Assumed CR, crosscanon, misfires, hmu! OTA for gen]
2. I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my dating life.
3. Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it.
4. The air tastes purple.
5. [ Text first? Assumed CR, crosscanon, misfires, hmu! OTA for gen]
Oh come on, it could be worse! It could be a knife one.1: Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
2: I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
3: Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment.
4: Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
5: He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
2: I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
3: Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment.
4: Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
5: He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i'm sure you can imagine the smugness in my voice when i say
told you so
and also: you're welcome
told you so
and also: you're welcome
A: Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
B: Ohhh, the usual. Lying in bed, reflecting on my decisions.
C: I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me.”
D: Who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
E: I woke up face-planted on your ottoman...thanks for letting me sleep over.
F: Wildcard
B: Ohhh, the usual. Lying in bed, reflecting on my decisions.
C: I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me.”
D: Who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
E: I woke up face-planted on your ottoman...thanks for letting me sleep over.
F: Wildcard
001. Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss.
002. its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
003. So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
004. note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
005. new low: just stole a cigarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
Not the worst time I've ever had
Made my day when somebody called me a stupid brainless man though
Made my day when somebody called me a stupid brainless man though
1. you need a warning label. just announcing who you are is seen more as a challenge
2. yea i saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
3. if i'm ever losing an argument i just hit em with 'you want me'
4. i'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
5. yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
[ a toplevel with the energy of a nascar taking one final lap around the track before exploding. ]
2. yea i saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
3. if i'm ever losing an argument i just hit em with 'you want me'
4. i'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
5. yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
[ a toplevel with the energy of a nascar taking one final lap around the track before exploding. ]
01. you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
02. She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Aurora, . Please help me
03. I was just handed a bible on my walk
04. Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
05. His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots.
02. She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Aurora, . Please help me
03. I was just handed a bible on my walk
04. Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
05. His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots.
01. I can hear the two of you arguing from the other room. You're both wrong and I'm tired of hearing it.
02. I will not take it under consideration.
03. Breaking a rib will not get you out of patrol.
04. If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better.
05. Why do I have "apologize to Jason" written on my hand?
06. Text him! Misfires welcome.
02. I will not take it under consideration.
03. Breaking a rib will not get you out of patrol.
04. If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better.
05. Why do I have "apologize to Jason" written on my hand?
06. Text him! Misfires welcome.
Edited 2026-02-27 05:09 (UTC)
1. You know, if I'm going to play attack dog for you, you might as well let me know what's in it for me.
2. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything that'll end up on the evening news.
3. Bring me takoyaki and you're my new favorite person.
4. Just because I can't get drunk doesn't mean you can't. Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you, and I'll enjoy the show.
5. Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
6. [ or just text him instead it's probably a good idea ]
2. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything that'll end up on the evening news.
3. Bring me takoyaki and you're my new favorite person.
4. Just because I can't get drunk doesn't mean you can't. Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you, and I'll enjoy the show.
5. Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
6. [ or just text him instead it's probably a good idea ]
1: Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
2: I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
3: Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
4: For future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... '
5: I want you bad. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know, balance.
2: I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
3: Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
4: For future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... '
5: I want you bad. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know, balance.
1. nah nah picture this
you come over, i draw you a bubble bath, give you a massage
and then i go down on you for like an hour. maybe two.
2. listen, there's only one person allowed to threaten my little sister, and that's me, alright?
3. girls are pretty and i am weak
that is the whole thought
4. there are a lot of nice tits at this party but not my favorite pair, so it's kind of a waste
5. is this going to be a leather pants kind of night out
or is that coming on too strong
6. [ text her instead you will probably only mildly regret it ]
you come over, i draw you a bubble bath, give you a massage
and then i go down on you for like an hour. maybe two.
2. listen, there's only one person allowed to threaten my little sister, and that's me, alright?
3. girls are pretty and i am weak
that is the whole thought
4. there are a lot of nice tits at this party but not my favorite pair, so it's kind of a waste
5. is this going to be a leather pants kind of night out
or is that coming on too strong
6. [ text her instead you will probably only mildly regret it ]
1. All the marines left the bar and are running towards the center of town. Please tell me you're not in the center of town.
2. Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
3. His name is Raymond. You called him Ramen all night and told him you would eat him up "like sex on a budget."
4. Offered to eat fruit loops out of my belly button drunk. That's how drunk
5. [text her anything, I'm down.]
2. Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
3. His name is Raymond. You called him Ramen all night and told him you would eat him up "like sex on a budget."
4. Offered to eat fruit loops out of my belly button drunk. That's how drunk
5. [text her anything, I'm down.]
1. you need to aim for "more pleasant than taking a nap" if you want me awake for the next few hours
2. i'm at the level of drunk where i'm thinking about eating dinosaur steak again
3. let's cut to the chase: is this a booty call, are you trying to recruit me to your evil organization, or is this a secret third thing?
4. don't tell me i can't drink and work out at the same time
i am a man of many talents, alright
5. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
6. [ or just text or misfire yourself tbh ]
2. i'm at the level of drunk where i'm thinking about eating dinosaur steak again
3. let's cut to the chase: is this a booty call, are you trying to recruit me to your evil organization, or is this a secret third thing?
4. don't tell me i can't drink and work out at the same time
i am a man of many talents, alright
5. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
6. [ or just text or misfire yourself tbh ]
1. kind of worried about something. i’ll get back to you if i figure out what it is
2. i can’t pay you back in money right now but i have a couple guitar picks and a cool rock with your name on them if you’re interested
3. uh, no?? i have big brown eyes and unsettling things to say. why would i ever need to FLIRT???
4. with all due respect, which is none, i’m gonna need you to get different music taste real fast. like. better music taste
5. text him. misfires and assume cr are all okay!
2. i can’t pay you back in money right now but i have a couple guitar picks and a cool rock with your name on them if you’re interested
3. uh, no?? i have big brown eyes and unsettling things to say. why would i ever need to FLIRT???
4. with all due respect, which is none, i’m gonna need you to get different music taste real fast. like. better music taste
5. text him. misfires and assume cr are all okay!
Delia Battista ✨ Star Trek OC ✨OTA, 21+ for any shipping or smut
attackpatternbattista
2026-02-27 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
[Basic gist: Largely faction-neutral Orion mercenary in her mid thirties, can be adapted into most any Star Trek timeline point for ease of RP, flirty, easy to get along with, but extremely observant. Pilot, mercenary, ship captain. Also comes in various Starfleet AU flavors as desired.]
1) I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. I thought you were going to shiver out of your skin.
2) I really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
3) soooo no reason but
can you bring a change of clothes with you when you come?
4) wasn't expecting to go into the depths of some kind of weird psychic entity infestation in my nice heels and this dress but here we are
5) They told me they wished they could shrink down to a small size so they could live inside my cleavage.
6) emotions are dumb and i may be drunk
7) 🃏Wildcard🃏 Option! Got an idea? Hit me with it! Wanna combine prompts? Go for it!
1) I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. I thought you were going to shiver out of your skin.
2) I really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
3) soooo no reason but
can you bring a change of clothes with you when you come?
4) wasn't expecting to go into the depths of some kind of weird psychic entity infestation in my nice heels and this dress but here we are
5) They told me they wished they could shrink down to a small size so they could live inside my cleavage.
6) emotions are dumb and i may be drunk
7) 🃏Wildcard🃏 Option! Got an idea? Hit me with it! Wanna combine prompts? Go for it!
1: Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
2: You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
3: Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
4: If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
5: Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
2: You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
3: Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
4: If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
5: Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
90% of the time a voice is asking me to do something after 1am it's you.
1.I don't know what you told him, but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking.
2. I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
3. I learned it's motivating to say you are a trash can, not a trash can't.
4. My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
5. Stop staring at me. I can't concentrate.
6. Handcuffs and friendship bracelets are essentially the same thing, aren't they?
2. I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
3. I learned it's motivating to say you are a trash can, not a trash can't.
4. My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
5. Stop staring at me. I can't concentrate.
6. Handcuffs and friendship bracelets are essentially the same thing, aren't they?
( show & books & mdwh familiar. )
1. i'd like to know where dora the explorer's parents are when she goes on all these crazy-ass adventures.
2. put my kids' dipping sauce for their chicken nuggets in little shot glasses and now they look like a bunch of tiny alcoholics. lol
3. can you come collect your freak of a man please? he's doing things
4. invoking the no judgement clause of our friendship.
5. stop asking me if my wife is single, you guys KNOW i have a crush on her
wildcard. ( bring ya own text! )
(1) I don't want a story, I want you to put. It. Back.
(2) I cannot stress stridently enough how much this phone number should never be used to send selfies, in any state of dress or undress.
(3) I need a date for a Wayne Foundation gala that is actually capable of holding a conversation, that's all.
(4) That was tactical usage of a stripper pole, obviously.
(5) [ or you can bring a wild card/misfire/etc. ]
(2) I cannot stress stridently enough how much this phone number should never be used to send selfies, in any state of dress or undress.
(3) I need a date for a Wayne Foundation gala that is actually capable of holding a conversation, that's all.
(4) That was tactical usage of a stripper pole, obviously.
(5) [ or you can bring a wild card/misfire/etc. ]
1. Are you paying me for sex with muffins?
2. The news is being gay right now.
Even more gay than usual.
Don't watch it.
3. Hey.
[img_62873.jpg]
Is this drywall or cocaine?
4. I'm coming over. I need to sleep, but there's some chick in my bed. She looks comfy.
1: Well, I'm not wearing pants, but I am wearing a tiara.
2: People don't tend to mess with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
3: Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love.
4: Now I'm nervous about the consequences of letting you loose
5: So was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
2: People don't tend to mess with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
3: Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love.
4: Now I'm nervous about the consequences of letting you loose
5: So was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Edited 2026-02-27 05:23 (UTC)
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