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[asimpleegg]

RED FLAGS meme

Sure, you may look like a total catch, but what's the catch? Maybe everything isn't what it seems.

how to play
- forget what you think you know about memes.
- forget the traditional subject line. no prefs. no character info.
- what do you put there instead? verbalize the red flag(s) that should, in a just world, come attached to your characters. be honest. be brutal.
- with this forbidden knowledge in mind, the rest of bakerstreet has to decide whether they wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole or if they'd throw caution to the wind and still go for it.

Comments

manipulative, rude, overly proud, overly sensitive, will get his girl pregnant on the second date...

[oldwarsfinished]

... and inevitably die in his best boyfriend's arms. 1/10, don't recommend.

Commitment issues, works day and night, emotionally distant, tons of trauma, secrets.

[thedevilsworkisneverdone]

Lots of secrets.

Diagnosed psychopath, will stalk you if he's actually interested, will literally kill for you...

[ricochetingbullets]

...and probably will do it anyway even if you don't ask. This all before the multiple mass murder sprees and currently being in his supervillain era.

[canhandleit]

Damn, I need to find myself better drinking buddies.

Manipulative, unpleasant, ignorant, rude, all round obnoxious arsehole you will ever meet.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

Dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the happy...

Never stays put. Also, murderous psychopath. Lots and lots of murder.

[nomadicflame]

[Also obsessed with the complete genocide of insane death cultists. In his defense, he doesn't kill innocents anymore. As if that makes anything better.

Also owns several books that will kill whoever attempts to read them.

It's him. He's the red flag.]

Many, many crimes, cruel, demeaning, manipulative, self-destructive.

[deathdrive]

[How many crimes? Well...]

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

It's boring when you just admit to your crimes.

Ex-pirate, with a still questionable record with the law...

[attackpatternbattista]

[...And similar numerous similarly questionable friends and contacts. Often misbehaves and flagrantly breaks laws she finds inconvenient. To be fair, this is usually for a good cause, but she can be ruthless and occasionally dangerous when absolutely necessary.

...Then there's her dangerous pirate overlord mother she's not on good terms with...]

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

Just one question...
Why ex-pirate?

Can and will use anyone and anything to achieve godhood.

[paragonof_hope]

Hazardous curiosity, competitive recklessness, prioritising snacks over stealth,

[grit_and_glitter]

emotional volatility, literally will ghost.

[The kind of dumbass, who has a lethal lack of self-preservation, who’ll race a frag grenade timer just to see if he can beat it. He’s the man who’ll pout if no one has emergency snacks or stop for snacks along the way. He will vanish for a month or longer, no letters, no texts, no calls, until he will turn up on your doorstep one rainy night, at midnight, sporting a new scar and brandishing a packet of gummy bears. Once you take pity on his dumbass and welcome him in, he’ll demand you give him a rom-com marathon to soothe away his emotional trauma.]

Eight million committment issues, abraisive personality....

[demscrawnyhips]

[And into some weird magical Fae bullshit that she's not entirely sure the rules of]

Mind control power, and a willingness to use it

[agentlerplace]

[And even if he didn't have it, he'd just kinda steamroll over anyone to get his way because he thinks he knows best how to handle Everything when he doesn't, actually. ]

Literally Satan. Yeah, that one. Can also read your mind, and make things out of your blood.

[bruxing]

That's normal, isn't it?

[fellfurthest]

I've always assumed so. [SHRUG. Don't look at him for normal.]

A workaholic with committment issues who will likely love his vices more than you.

[fathersonspirit]

[ That's not even getting into the eldritch powers: did we mention he can invade your dreams and make you do what he wants at a command? ]

Will eat crackers in bed

[stupidbutgood]

[youlaughyoulose]

Ah, I see.

[ A nod, with a smile. ]

Death penalty.

Anti-social, cynical, uses violence loosely to produce results, and aloof to a fault.

[n0regr3ts]

...Sounds about right. Don't see how it's anyone's business but my own, though.

Stalker with more wealth than common sense, and violent urges he doesn't know how to handle.

[outerself]

That's not very polite, is it? I do my best handling those urges, I'll have you know.

Shares body w/ childhood imaginary friend, maybe schizophrenic, anxiety squirrel&depressed banana

[shadoworself]

[space_glowup]

Okay, okay. [ Matt raises a finger in a 'pause' gesture and then taps his chin with it as he ponders. He's giving this real and proper space in his mind, thank you very much! That was a lot and he matches energy and commitment with the same in return!

Even if the energy is kind of giving Keith, the guy who is accurately described as a tryhard emo edgelord. It's okay as long as you accept who you are. Everyone needs more eyeliner in their life sometimes. Should he suggest a celebratory mullet to this guy? Anyway. ]

I need a big more, my friend. What kind of schizophrenic? Like are the red flags actually in the room with us right now?

[ He's so not judging. Just looking at him earnest for more information. ]

Will do all the right things, but for all the wrong reasons.

[dejectedly]

That's absurd. I live to serve the people.

A traumatized, angry alcoholic with abandonment issues.

[thanksbitch]

Ooh! Did I win Bingo?

[canhandleit]

Think you need one more number for Bingo.

Of course, I could always give you mine.

Literal devil, so proud, doesn't like humans, war with God, might try to murder you despite hating-

[fellfurthest]

destruction. Cheerfully evil sadist, main hobbies are curse-breaking and tying people he likes to the ceiling.

[imperfectsoldier]

What's the issues with humans, exactly?

Only interested in people with red flags.

[manfromclay]

[fellfurthest]

So this is like a buffet for you.

Only interested in people who can kill him.

[knightbynight]

[manfromclay]

Those are the most fun.

will kill you 33 million times for the greater good and burn down your library to salt the wound

[khrysos]

That... is technically accurate.

[ His shoulders slump. ]

[fellfurthest]

My father would like you.

Always 'on.'

[youlaughyoulose]

Well yeah! If I was off... I'd smell bad!

[discountdeity]

What in the Heavens do you mean by that?

Self-righteous, stubborn, and depressed as fuck.

[imperfectsoldier]

[havenomercy]

While I gather it's the idea, you're a terrible salesman.