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bakerstreet2026-01-23 10:08 am
socklessghoul) wrote in bakerstreet2026-01-23 10:08 am
Entry tags:
1. yes i am not drunk because i think my blood just is alcohol from last night.
so being drunk is sober.
so obviously...
2. what i am being right now is "very charming" so make a note of that. after all, there is no need for me to be in this hospital.
3. i told him if i wanted to be a prostitute i wouldn't be there would i? he responded about how you'd expect!
4. and you didn't let me choke to death last night because???
5. just tell them i'm drunk and you have to come get me. it's usually true.
6. i'm dying of boredom here. it's like regular dying, but slower.
7. [ test your own or misfire him orwhatever. cross-canon, cross-mediums, ocs: all fine. m/m only and 21+ for anything ship oriented, with exception for canonmates. (or 31+ if time skip) + ]
1. yet another baby stripper just told me she thinks she's bi. sometimes i love it here
2. you say maneater like it's a bad thing.
3. bored. might give myself horns for a few nights. thoughts?
4. what the camarilla doesn’t know won’t hurt them. it’s not like he’ll be missed. now let me take care of it xoxo
5. [ Text her! Info/permissions coming soon but TL;DR - Polaris is a bratty vampire (Tzimisce) stripper with a passion for fleshcrafting. Namely, turning men into hideous, twisted flesh sculptures and amalgamations. Cross-canon, assumed CR, etc all welcome! ♥ ]
2. you say maneater like it's a bad thing.
3. bored. might give myself horns for a few nights. thoughts?
4. what the camarilla doesn’t know won’t hurt them. it’s not like he’ll be missed. now let me take care of it xoxo
5. [ Text her! Info/permissions coming soon but TL;DR - Polaris is a bratty vampire (Tzimisce) stripper with a passion for fleshcrafting. Namely, turning men into hideous, twisted flesh sculptures and amalgamations. Cross-canon, assumed CR, etc all welcome! ♥ ]
lmao he is basically everything she hates in a man. i love it
fleshcrafts
- 2026-01-24 01:50 (UTC) - Expand1) u tried 2 carry me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did u tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
2) punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of vicodin one handed. night is going well.
3) don't threaten to terrorize my ass unless u have to wherewithal to back it up
4) is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the ER?
5) So what your saying is u DONT remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron???
6) [text him/bring your own!]
2) punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of vicodin one handed. night is going well.
3) don't threaten to terrorize my ass unless u have to wherewithal to back it up
4) is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the ER?
5) So what your saying is u DONT remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron???
6) [text him/bring your own!]
1. What the fuck is 🥺? Use your mouth, I don't speak bottom.
2. This might come as a surprise to you, but there are a number of people who send me regular death threats. Half the wasteland's itching to give me a case of lead poisoning.
3. I found your shirt buttons in my pocket. The location of your shirt remains unknown.
4. Nobody is doing it like me because, let's face it, this probably ain't the right way to do it.
5. I forgot to thank you for putting me out when I was on fire.
6. "I'm going to fuck you silly." Okay? Well I'm going to fuck you serious. I'm going to fuck you professional-like.
7. TEXT HIM! Canon, cross-canon, misfires, all good! For shipping 21+ please.
2. This might come as a surprise to you, but there are a number of people who send me regular death threats. Half the wasteland's itching to give me a case of lead poisoning.
3. I found your shirt buttons in my pocket. The location of your shirt remains unknown.
4. Nobody is doing it like me because, let's face it, this probably ain't the right way to do it.
5. I forgot to thank you for putting me out when I was on fire.
6. "I'm going to fuck you silly." Okay? Well I'm going to fuck you serious. I'm going to fuck you professional-like.
7. TEXT HIM! Canon, cross-canon, misfires, all good! For shipping 21+ please.
1. i'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah.
2. ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
3. i'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
4. i'm sorry i keep having sex with your friends. i'm done, for real. unless that one guy is interested. other than that, i'm done.
5. sorry i totally pulled a home invasion on you last night, that was super inconsiderate of me.
6. i've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth.
7. i ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible, so just let me know if you want teenage or adult flavor. )
2. ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
3. i'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
4. i'm sorry i keep having sex with your friends. i'm done, for real. unless that one guy is interested. other than that, i'm done.
5. sorry i totally pulled a home invasion on you last night, that was super inconsiderate of me.
6. i've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth.
7. i ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible, so just let me know if you want teenage or adult flavor. )
1. It only smiles. Endlessly, endlessly smiles.
2. The true joy is not a drinking contest. The true joy is being the only one in said contest who can hold her alcohol. Apropos, I've some interesting pictures...
3. Days like this I suspect the sum total of area covered by your entire wardrobe is less than only one of my robes.
4. This meal tastes like a week of Elpis rejects ground into a slurry and wrapped in intestine.
5. Let us do something most would consider stupid.
2. The true joy is not a drinking contest. The true joy is being the only one in said contest who can hold her alcohol. Apropos, I've some interesting pictures...
3. Days like this I suspect the sum total of area covered by your entire wardrobe is less than only one of my robes.
4. This meal tastes like a week of Elpis rejects ground into a slurry and wrapped in intestine.
5. Let us do something most would consider stupid.
oh good, my favourite
did you have anything particular in mind?
001. Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
002. You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
003. you've got to stop stretching your arms over your head and exposing your midriff im going to lose it
004. I'm soaked in blood, and i think beer
005. question is: do I stay in bed or get out of it
[ooc: available in either regular or young version, just specify which you'd like or I'll pick.]
1.) So how does that bad decision feel?
2.) I asked what was on your mind and all you said was "sin".
3.) Respectfully, that's a horrible idea. You should do it and send me pics after you're done.
4.) You need to stop showing people the things I drunk-text to you. I have a reputation to uphold.
5.) Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your day.
6.) Text him
1.) So how does that bad decision feel?
2.) I asked what was on your mind and all you said was "sin".
3.) Respectfully, that's a horrible idea. You should do it and send me pics after you're done.
4.) You need to stop showing people the things I drunk-text to you. I have a reputation to uphold.
5.) Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your day.
6.) Text him
ooc: this sounded more regular Alfie but if you want young let me know
flippin_peachy
- 2026-01-23 17:43 (UTC) - ExpandOmg hiii! I was just re-reading some of our threads the other day!
flippin_peachy
- 2026-01-24 03:14 (UTC) - Expandaww! they're so delightful <3 writers block snatched my soul but i'm crawling my way back!
pagekaren
- 2026-01-24 04:06 (UTC) - Expand1: No, I will absolutely NOT help you with it.
2: Serves me right for trying to be nice this one time.
3: Needing your bail posted is how you tell who your real friends are.
4: I didn't do it this time. Or the last time, either.
5: "Murder" may not always be the question, but it's definitely an answer.
6: Bring your own!
2: Serves me right for trying to be nice this one time.
3: Needing your bail posted is how you tell who your real friends are.
4: I didn't do it this time. Or the last time, either.
5: "Murder" may not always be the question, but it's definitely an answer.
6: Bring your own!
1. the north wing of the castle is on fire, again.
2. I'm comfortable with waking up on the roof only when I go to sleep on the roof.
3. Saw a dancer doing her best. Did nothing for me. Extremely concerned something's wrong.
4. Why are there six chocobos in my bedroom?
5. Using my position as King to pick up girls? Tasteless, won't happen. Using my position as commander of the Eblan Air Force and pilot of the Falcon, though...
2. I'm comfortable with waking up on the roof only when I go to sleep on the roof.
3. Saw a dancer doing her best. Did nothing for me. Extremely concerned something's wrong.
4. Why are there six chocobos in my bedroom?
5. Using my position as King to pick up girls? Tasteless, won't happen. Using my position as commander of the Eblan Air Force and pilot of the Falcon, though...
You could just be gay. Or asexual. That's also a thing.
1. i've decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting.
2. i'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
3. just saw your hook-up from last night... be embarrassed.
4. lets just fuck. we'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
5. i'm at the bar alone. is this how you feel?
6. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied.
7. it's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. i win 80% of the time.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible! more info in journal if needed. )
2. i'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
3. just saw your hook-up from last night... be embarrassed.
4. lets just fuck. we'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
5. i'm at the bar alone. is this how you feel?
6. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied.
7. it's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. i win 80% of the time.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible! more info in journal if needed. )
1. They keep challenging me to competitions of arm strength. I am currently ahead three hundred dollars.
2. Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
3. I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want my day to romance me before it tries to fuck me.
4. Why does every person at the grocery store feel like my enemy?
5. I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I am so horny I think I might die.
6. Ran into a past mistake last night. An unpleasant but effective lesson.
2. Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
3. I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want my day to romance me before it tries to fuck me.
4. Why does every person at the grocery store feel like my enemy?
5. I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I am so horny I think I might die.
6. Ran into a past mistake last night. An unpleasant but effective lesson.
Who are 'they' because clearly 'they' don't know you.
1. The toilet plunger duel was either the best or worst idea we ever had.
2. How did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?
3. Yeah but that wasn't the BATHROOM door.
4. I coulda told you that wouldn't have been enough wings.
5. really not sure if that was a bar full of vampires or just people pretending to be vampires, which probably says something about my life in general
6. Sauna's open if you want in
2. How did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?
3. Yeah but that wasn't the BATHROOM door.
4. I coulda told you that wouldn't have been enough wings.
5. really not sure if that was a bar full of vampires or just people pretending to be vampires, which probably says something about my life in general
6. Sauna's open if you want in
I don't know what sort of purpose it served, but if you enjoyed it...
[He's never going to talk about it with anyone else, though.]
[He's never going to talk about it with anyone else, though.]
1.) Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience.
2.) I'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
3.) I would be honoured to spend 4 dollars on you.
4.) Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk, it saves so much time.
5.) Text this mess
2.) I'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
3.) I would be honoured to spend 4 dollars on you.
4.) Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk, it saves so much time.
5.) Text this mess
01. I proudly identify as morosexual
02. so sad. i just ate the last jelly bean out of my pocket
03. i hope my unwashed hair and deer-in-headlights type stare have captivated you { Sent with a candid, post-show backstage photo. }
04. i am the shyest attention whore ever
05. People who don't like drinking water confuse me. Getting a sip of water is like a drug to me. I love a drink of water.
02. so sad. i just ate the last jelly bean out of my pocket
03. i hope my unwashed hair and deer-in-headlights type stare have captivated you { Sent with a candid, post-show backstage photo. }
04. i am the shyest attention whore ever
05. People who don't like drinking water confuse me. Getting a sip of water is like a drug to me. I love a drink of water.
1. I'll take care of you. I just need to climb out the bathroom window.
2. 'Subtle' isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night.
3. I'm making a mistake. Stand by.
4. I can 99.9% assure you that I'm probably never going to sleep with your mom.
5. I feel like I owe everyone an apology. Except the two people I punched in the face, obviously.
6. [ bring your own! misfires & assumed cr welcome, crosscanon/medium loved! ]
2. 'Subtle' isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night.
3. I'm making a mistake. Stand by.
4. I can 99.9% assure you that I'm probably never going to sleep with your mom.
5. I feel like I owe everyone an apology. Except the two people I punched in the face, obviously.
6. [ bring your own! misfires & assumed cr welcome, crosscanon/medium loved! ]
1. We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town, and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
2. This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
3. In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision.
4. Well, it's 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess I'll go home.
5. I feel like I'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.
6. Did you high five my face last night?
7. I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible! more info in journal if needed. )
2. This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
3. In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision.
4. Well, it's 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess I'll go home.
5. I feel like I'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.
6. Did you high five my face last night?
7. I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible! more info in journal if needed. )
1. Have we checked ALL food to see if exploding them makes them better or did we just stop with corn
2. If you're looking for someone to stress you out all the time, let me know.
3. You said, and I quote 'what's the worst that can happen? You're not my real mom, you can't tell me what to do'
4. It's too early for you to be weird like this.
5. Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
6. No, I didn't kill him. Don't act so surprised.
2. If you're looking for someone to stress you out all the time, let me know.
3. You said, and I quote 'what's the worst that can happen? You're not my real mom, you can't tell me what to do'
4. It's too early for you to be weird like this.
5. Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
6. No, I didn't kill him. Don't act so surprised.
001. You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion.
002. 1. Be hot. 2. Flirt with everyone. 3. Use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
003. I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
004. I wish I could be happy with a nice Satanist girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights.
005. Not to alarm anyone, but is anybody else worried about how everybody is fucking stupid?
002. 1. Be hot. 2. Flirt with everyone. 3. Use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
003. I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
004. I wish I could be happy with a nice Satanist girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights.
005. Not to alarm anyone, but is anybody else worried about how everybody is fucking stupid?
Oh please, you'd be bored to tears with a nice, normal Satanist girl.
1. You kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
2. Okay, I do have a favorite.
3. You're not sleeping in my bed unless you shower first.
4. If they won't bend, let them break.
5. [ wildcard/misfires ota! ]
2. Okay, I do have a favorite.
3. You're not sleeping in my bed unless you shower first.
4. If they won't bend, let them break.
5. [ wildcard/misfires ota! ]
1. You told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the coterie.
2. I think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can.
3. What would you do if you came home and I was in nothing but the table cloth?
4. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
5. [ text her! misfires/assumed cr welcome! ]
[ info & permissions! ]
2. I think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can.
3. What would you do if you came home and I was in nothing but the table cloth?
4. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
5. [ text her! misfires/assumed cr welcome! ]
[ info & permissions! ]
1. I am a bowling ball inspector, here to test the safety of your equipment. I will choose 3 random balls and if they pass, I will give your alley the coveted Turkey Award for Best Practice.
2. Want to see me juggle these? You have to turn away while I get ready though, I'm a little shy.
3. Ghoul an animal that can lift at least... 12...No, 18 pounds at once. But you'll end up with child weight bowling balls and you won't be able to get your fingers into them.
I can keep going, unfortunately.
2. Want to see me juggle these? You have to turn away while I get ready though, I'm a little shy.
3. Ghoul an animal that can lift at least... 12...No, 18 pounds at once. But you'll end up with child weight bowling balls and you won't be able to get your fingers into them.
I can keep going, unfortunately.
1. Don't uncuff him. He knows what he did.
2. I didn’t think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone.
3. Tell your friend I'm sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate.
4. My very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
5. There are too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
6. I'm sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didn't go wrong last night?
7. If this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me, I suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible & happy to make magical timeline crossing happen. more info in journal if needed. )
2. I didn’t think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone.
3. Tell your friend I'm sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate.
4. My very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
5. There are too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
6. I'm sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didn't go wrong last night?
7. If this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me, I suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible & happy to make magical timeline crossing happen. more info in journal if needed. )
1. that's why i need nudes... plutonic nudes.
2. just be happy that you're the pretty friend. otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
3. why do I have the four of hearts in my underwear?
4. ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a skittles bag, right?
5. i just feel like i'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
6. forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
7. have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? i have.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible! )
2. just be happy that you're the pretty friend. otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
3. why do I have the four of hearts in my underwear?
4. ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a skittles bag, right?
5. i just feel like i'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
6. forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
7. have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? i have.
( ota for gen, 15+ any gender for shipping. open to canonmates and crosscanon, assumed CR okay. canonpoint flexible! )
1. You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
2. I think my hand is broken, but his nose definitely is.
3. I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm going.
4. Of course I can handle you at your worst. That's basically all the time.
5. [ text/misfire her. ]
wow if I had a nickel for every time I heard that
I'd have a lot of nickels, which is a good thing? I hear?
I'd have a lot of nickels, which is a good thing? I hear?
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