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bakerstreet2026-01-04 01:56 pm
engagements) wrote in bakerstreet2026-01-04 01:56 pm
insecurity
 HOW TO PLAY
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I've made so many bad decisions and been so selfish that I'm afraid next time I fuck up too hard everyone's going to get fed up and leave me. And that's selfish too, isn't it? When you hurt people with your mistakes you should be more worried about them, not yourself.
[Maybe Charlie might see her as an angel, or still simply as a rather spectacular wolf, still Amaterasu approaches, and the princess will hear a soft, motherly voice speaking in her ears.
As noble as it may be, dear child...there is hardly ever a chance for that perfect altruism to manifest. No matter what, 'human' interaction will always feel like it might be marred for that. If you allow yourself to see it as a flaw, anyhow.]
As noble as it may be, dear child...there is hardly ever a chance for that perfect altruism to manifest. No matter what, 'human' interaction will always feel like it might be marred for that. If you allow yourself to see it as a flaw, anyhow.]
This son of Satan from another canon says hi and comes to be a bro.
secondadam
- 2026-01-05 20:58 (UTC) - ExpandI was going based off them being in Heroes and possibly meeting in Askr so yes!
alltheapologies
- 2026-01-04 22:14 (UTC) - ExpandPerfect! also can i just say i love alcryst he was the absolute mvp of my engage playthrough 'o'
woedao
- 2026-01-04 22:35 (UTC) - ExpandHe let so many people down, and I'm him. How do I know I haven't disappointed the world by not saving it yet?
I fucking hate my feet.
I worry that I was a terrible father to her. That I was a terrible person and thusly that reflects on how I raised my child. She's an incredibly strong, independent, bright little thing, but I can't help but wonder if it's because I wasn't always there the way I should have been, and that she had to fill in the gaps I left behind.
I have absolutely chosen a drink over my child more times than I want to count, and I'm deeply ashamed of it when I really stop to think about it. (Which is why I try not to.)
I have absolutely chosen a drink over my child more times than I want to count, and I'm deeply ashamed of it when I really stop to think about it. (Which is why I try not to.)
Terrible people can be decent parents. The person you were and the father you were are two different people where your kid is concerned. It's not about what you did to other people. Only what you did to her.
[ But Peter can certainly understand why someone might choose a drink over their child, if the child just happens to be part of the current reality they're choosing a drink over. Baby, bathwater, et cetera. ]
What were you running from?
[ But Peter can certainly understand why someone might choose a drink over their child, if the child just happens to be part of the current reality they're choosing a drink over. Baby, bathwater, et cetera. ]
What were you running from?
cw mentions of war crimes, alcohol misuse from here on out
militaryson
- 2026-01-05 17:02 (UTC) - Expand... That I end up being used again even when things look like they're turning for the better. Doesn't leave the back of my mind.
I won't lie, I have a similar fear. But I won't let them do that to either of us.
I spent years obsessing over him and wishing he'd love me back, and I've accepted that it's not meant to be. But now I'm afraid I'll never become more than the stupid crazy girl who chased a boy and let her life revolve around him just because he saved her life once.
[welp. a low whistle from the army's resident slacker.]
Not gonna lie, that's surprisingly... lucid of ya.
You want some advice from ol' Python?
Not gonna lie, that's surprisingly... lucid of ya.
You want some advice from ol' Python?
The people who know me just hang around me just to be nice, not anything special. I doubt that's true, but I feel like I'm a one-trick monster...
There are times I fear that I am mad, but that I'm hiding it so well I even fool myself.
I've lost everyone I love in my life over the course of it and I worry that I'm going to end up alone, like always, even when I do have people around me. It always feels like a shoe about to drop.
Yeah, feels like that comes with the territory of what we do, man.
Delia Battista ✨ Star Trek OC ✨OTA, 21+ for any shipping or smut
attackpatternbattista
2026-01-04 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[Also small CW: This turned into kind of a Mood.]
There are times I often wonder, "What now?", because things don't just end when you accomplished The Goal that drove every fiber of your being up to a certain point.
"What now?", when I still, even years later, have no idea what in the hells I'm even doing.
I have freedom, I have agency, self sufficiency, and people I depend on, and who depend on me in turn.
But sometimes that thought nags at me. "What now?"
There are times I often wonder, "What now?", because things don't just end when you accomplished The Goal that drove every fiber of your being up to a certain point.
"What now?", when I still, even years later, have no idea what in the hells I'm even doing.
I have freedom, I have agency, self sufficiency, and people I depend on, and who depend on me in turn.
But sometimes that thought nags at me. "What now?"
I wanted to keep going.
I was afraid of leaving things unfinished: questions unanswered, people unprotected, knowledge lost to the careless hands of time. I told myself I could carry it all a little farther.
I was afraid of leaving things unfinished: questions unanswered, people unprotected, knowledge lost to the careless hands of time. I told myself I could carry it all a little farther.
And you failed.
[It might sound crueler than he means it. Might.]
What will you do with that?
[It might sound crueler than he means it. Might.]
What will you do with that?
( spoilers for aitsf below )
My face. It's not my face, it'll never be my face, but I don't want my original body anymore. I miss — his. I miss Saito's body. But it's gone and I'm here and all I've got is this mask. Will I ever actually feel at home in this body again or will it always feel wrong? Like a too tight skin suit. I don't know how I'm supposed to live like this. This can't be sustainable.
[ There's a very deep frown here before — ]
My face. It's not my face, it'll never be my face, but I don't want my original body anymore. I miss — his. I miss Saito's body. But it's gone and I'm here and all I've got is this mask. Will I ever actually feel at home in this body again or will it always feel wrong? Like a too tight skin suit. I don't know how I'm supposed to live like this. This can't be sustainable.
[Oh god her again...
But something seems...different about her, uncharacteristically silent Gura sits next to Kaname and offers him a pocky stick from her box as she snacks, even she knows when to stop being a little shit.]
But something seems...different about her, uncharacteristically silent Gura sits next to Kaname and offers him a pocky stick from her box as she snacks, even she knows when to stop being a little shit.]
Edited 2026-01-05 03:21 (UTC)
That no matter what I do for them, my family doesn't know that I do care and love them.
[A head tilt and gentle whine, and there is suddenly a rather large white wolf flopping at Donnie's heel, eyes rolling up to give him a...well probably best to call it sympathetic look.
Just, giving him a moment to adjust to the sudden intrusion... She'll speak after she gauges how well he's effected by the "big friendly dog" routine. Amaterasu is, after all, an expert at that. (Or so she thinks.)]
Just, giving him a moment to adjust to the sudden intrusion... She'll speak after she gauges how well he's effected by the "big friendly dog" routine. Amaterasu is, after all, an expert at that. (Or so she thinks.)]
That I really am incapable of being anything but a soldier.
I don't buy that.
You would've made one hell of an artist, if there hadn't been a war on and all that.
You would've made one hell of an artist, if there hadn't been a war on and all that.
I'm a coward. I failed in my most basic duty as a soldier, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
I have... humiliated my father after all he did to get where he is. I went through the Academy, I went to school with the best of the best. I got into the Starfighter Corps. Got all these medals, promotion to colonel— and then the very first time I had to kill the enemy up close, really look in his eyes—I couldn't fuckin' do it. I missed. I panicked, and I missed, and I had to put him down after the fact.
[ He draws a wavering breath. ]
And then, of course, when I got captured anyways, you know what I did? An Imperial officer? I begged for my life, and I told them who my daddy was. So they traded me because of my last name and I let some other prisoner die in my place. And it didn't matter. I got out of the hospital and the Navy told me I'm too crazy to serve.
I have... humiliated my father after all he did to get where he is. I went through the Academy, I went to school with the best of the best. I got into the Starfighter Corps. Got all these medals, promotion to colonel— and then the very first time I had to kill the enemy up close, really look in his eyes—I couldn't fuckin' do it. I missed. I panicked, and I missed, and I had to put him down after the fact.
[ He draws a wavering breath. ]
And then, of course, when I got captured anyways, you know what I did? An Imperial officer? I begged for my life, and I told them who my daddy was. So they traded me because of my last name and I let some other prisoner die in my place. And it didn't matter. I got out of the hospital and the Navy told me I'm too crazy to serve.
Amelia Royer | OC (D&D Rogue, but AUs from other memes / games welcome!)
rogueinladysclothing
2026-01-05 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
That I'm not worth what those I love give to me. That I never have been and I never will be, no matter how much I give to them first.
My hair. I never know what to do with it.
And the arm, sometimes. Never know if I should leave the sleeve on or take it off.
[ Technically, those are his biggest physical insecurities...
Nobody needs to be subjected to his biggest mental insecurities. ]
And the arm, sometimes. Never know if I should leave the sleeve on or take it off.
[ Technically, those are his biggest physical insecurities...
Nobody needs to be subjected to his biggest mental insecurities. ]
I'm always empty. It's like I exist to show just how empty a human being can be.
crawling back, holidays and username change later.....
disheartenings
2026-01-05 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ eep. ack. he's pretty sure he isn't the one meant to be hearing this, but what's he to do..? vanish and hope he wasn't seen? but being spotted would make things hella awkward, so... he's just gotta sheepishly hang out, huh? ]
Ah—uh... Seriously—I wouldn't have guessed...
[ he would've thought it'd take a bit of whimsy to bully him, at least. ]
... Well, you probably don't wanna hear something like "it'll get better" or "we'll find a way to fix it," right?
Ah—uh... Seriously—I wouldn't have guessed...
[ he would've thought it'd take a bit of whimsy to bully him, at least. ]
... Well, you probably don't wanna hear something like "it'll get better" or "we'll find a way to fix it," right?
I worry that I really am the monster everyone else thinks I am.
I'm a huge loser and no one really likes me and no one will unless I can keep proving that I'm worth keeping around.
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[ Character info/permissions.]
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