bakerstreet | ok stupid! let's play cupid!

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[meme] shipping

ok stupid! let's play cupid!

You are making a dating profile! Or maybe your significant other just "stumbled" upon one you made in the past. How did you describe yourself, or your hobbies? Maybe you made a little bit up, or the whole thing, or you were brutally honest!Or maybe you're a 500 year old vampire who just wants to gloss over that fact as best you can.

Let's see what your page says!

if you want to add some profile pics:

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Name & Occupation: Edward Nygma, professional archcriminal.
Likes: Riddles, puzzles, conundrums, cryptograms, silent film.
Dislikes: Idiots, law enforcement, boredom, the status quo.
Turn-ons: Good sense. Dress sense, sense of adventure, sense of humor, sense of culture. Common sense optional.
Turn-offs: Slow minds and uncultured buffoons need not apply.
Seeking: Fun-loving, open-minded individual interested in a night of mayhem and adventure. Gender irrelevant, personality more important. Redheads get extra points.

Edited 2013-08-30 01:36 (UTC)

Well, I can't say I meet all of your criteria, darling, but I do like what I see, and I don't just mean a dashing man in a suit. "Fun-loving, open-minded individual interested in a night of mayhem and adventure."? Count me in.

Then do tell me a bit about yourself?

For the sake of brevity and tidiness I'll use this handy little form. Forgive the... stranger answers. I do encounter these things in daily life.

Name & Occupation: Venus; former courier, current Mojave please-do-this-for-me go-to girl
Likes: revenge, bladed weapons, the preservation of art and literature, medical science, the Legion, the New Vegas Strip
Dislikes: idiots, drunks, drug addicts, mutants of any kind (exception: nightstalkers), cannibalism, the NCR (a.k.a. a futile attempt to restablish old world government), staying in one place for too long
Turn-ons: intelligence, someone who knows what they want and pursues it to the limit, sense of adventure, sense of humor, appreciation for the world's cultures (old a new), maybe a bit of good old-fashioned brutality, sense of style
Turn-offs: attempted abuse of me, taking orders, anything under the dislikes category and anything not under the turn-ons category
Seeking: Someone who is willing to both wine and dine and go out to stir up a little trouble all in the same night, preferably someone who isn't going to expect me to protect them during these ventures. Must be able to handle significant violence, rather foolish attempts at taming nightstalkers, malicious pranks against the NCR and just good old mischief. Enjoying sex in both normal and strange places is a plus.

Unfortunately, I don't get your extra points, as I'm a brunette.

I think we have a suitable amount of compatibility, my dear! We both seem to know how to dance the knife's edge properly. There's a certain club of which I'm fond, good food and good dancing. We might start the evening there and escalate as the hour darkens?

On a daily basis.

Just give me an address and a time, darling. I'm looking very forward to meeting you.

[The address he gives her is of an establishment friendly to his type, the "What A Way to Go-Go" club. Yes, it's a discotheque; that's what you get for hooking up with a man from the sixties. They have surprisingly good catfish.

He's waiting for her at a table with two margaritas and a question mark covered green suit.]

Venus decided not to overdo the make-up that night, settling for the bare essentials; foundation, eyeliner, a little blush and mascara. She briefly considered some green eye shadow, as he seemed fond of the color, but thought her green eyes should be enough there. She wore a simple black dress that she had purchased back home and taken great effort to clean. It stopped just above her knees. With it, she wore a silky green scarf that she had purchased in the city. Since she didn't know what was in store for the night she wore flat heeled black shoes. Both running and dancing were equally accomplishable in those.

When she entered the club she smiled a little at the music. It was like nothing she had ever heard before. Edward was easy enough to spot with his unique suit, and from the look of the drinks he ordered that would be a new experience too. Venus smoothed her dress down and approached, taking the seat across from him. Since her hair is straightened and smoothed back he may notice the scar on her forehead.

"Good evening," she greeted with a friendly smile. "Interesting place you've chosen here. I've never seen anything quite like it."

He notes it, and makes a note to ask about it later. And perhaps to find out if there's more scars elsewhere, but he's getting ahead of himself.

"It's a club that caters to a very exclusive clientele." He pushes the drink across to her, grinning widely. There's almost a giddiness to his pose. "I happen to be a regular, of course. Do make yourself comfortable."

Venus accepted the drink, leaned back in her chair and had brief look around before returning her attention to him.

"I can see why. It's a lively place, unlike many other parts of the city."

She hadn't seen much, but some of the places she had seen were downright dreary. Some less-than-friendly areas even made Nipton look good.

"Love the suit, by the way," she added after a moment, offering him a genuine smile to indicate that she wasn't being sarcastic. It had a lot of character, which she found charming.

He knew she wasn't. It was one of the classiest suits in Gotham, after all. "You look stunning as well. But tell me, my lovely warrior--what is always in bed but constantly on guard?"

He smirked at her and folded his legs, looking expectant.

Venus took a sip of her drink, not the least bit bothered by the riddle, though they were certainly not her forte. If he expected her to solve riddles all evening then it was going to be a very short evening.

"I do hate to be the bearer of bad news, but riddles aren't among my specialties, as intriguing as they often are. I remember reading a few in pre-war books. I don't suppose you care to share the answer?"

Riddler frowned, as if she'd failed some kind of small test. Ah, well. Not everyone could be as brilliant as he was. He reached below the table and pulled out a small bouquet he'd hidden beneath his chair, handing it to her. "Flowers, for they stay in their beds but are always a'guardin'."

"And here I was going to say flowers, but couldn't get past the fact that they live in gardens and not on them. Very nice word play. I like it."

She took the bouquet and took a moment to admire the flowers, smiling. They really were beautiful and had a lovely fragrance. No one had ever given her flowers before, for obvious reasons. Venus planned to treasure them for as long as she could keep them alive.

"Would you mind if I asked you one? It is a bit easy, but I'd hate to not play along."

"I suppose it is the thought that counts. So few people can even manage that these days." He sits back and awaits whatever pitiful riddle she may come up with.

"I am invisible, without taste or scent. Only with the right instrument can I make sound, but I'm deadly if you stick around. What am I?"

Name & Occupation: Spirit. World's Ultimate Death Scythe and Universe's ~~worst~~ greatest father.
Likes: The ladies, tailored suits, alternative ties, being a dad to the greatest daughter in the world and I swear to god if you hurt her I will kill you!!
Dislikes: Stein, Death Chops to the skull, and people who are awful to Maka because I will straight up murder you!!
Turn-ons: ...women??
Turn-offs: ...not women??
Seeking: Women!! It's like you can't read or something.

Name & Occupation: Morticia Addams, housewife and amateur horticulturalist.
Likes: Long walks in the graveyard, evenings at the theater (especially the Grand Guignol), rare book stores, prayers to the elder gods, light to heavy bdsm.
Dislikes: Pastels.
Turn-ons: Men who can dance, women who cast hexes.
Turn-offs: Anyone my children don't like.
Seeking: Playmate for an open marriage, possible threesomes

.

Name & Occupation: Izumo. And... fisher, I guess.
Likes: Fish, the beach, shiny things, treasure, swimming, pretty skylines, lazy days, being left the hell alone
Dislikes: Obnoxious people, eels, dolphins, pretentious entitled mermaids
Turn-ons: Self-sufficiency, lack of judgmental attitude, ability to hold one's liquor, height, and, uh... A soft chest
Turn-offs: Bitches, guys, drunks, people who keep fucking bugging me to make one of these stupid damn things
Seeking: THIS IS FUCKING STUPID

(Icon is profile pic)

Edited 2013-09-01 00:47 (UTC)

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ok stupid! let's play cupid!

The Riddler | Batman '66

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Spirit | Soul Eater

Morticia Addams | The Addams Family

Izumo | OC