memes. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trashtalker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2025-08-22 09:00 am
trashtalker) wrote in bakerstreet2025-08-22 09:00 am
Entry tags:
1. If anything, the 'totally hypothetical situation' possibly being illegal only intrigues me more.
2. You sat at a stop sign for ten minutes waiting for it to turn green.
3. Parts of me hurt that I didn't know existed, fucking hell.
4. At least the bruise is in a cool shape?
5. Why do I have seven missed calls from you - are you imprisoned? Dead? In the process of becoming either?
6. God forbid a woman have a hobby.
7. [ Text her! ]
2. You sat at a stop sign for ten minutes waiting for it to turn green.
3. Parts of me hurt that I didn't know existed, fucking hell.
4. At least the bruise is in a cool shape?
5. Why do I have seven missed calls from you - are you imprisoned? Dead? In the process of becoming either?
6. God forbid a woman have a hobby.
7. [ Text her! ]
Edited 2025-08-22 16:04 (UTC)
1. You wouldn't answer to anything but 'Devil's Advocate' all night.
2. I don't think you're going to get me to reconsider my position as a leg man...
3. Please don't ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you CPR
4. that was both the raciest and most profane take on 'Green Eggs and Ham' I've ever heard.
5. saying you could do better is like saying water is somewhat moist
6. this is the third honor duel tonight, I'm leaving, PLEASE tell me you're somewhere interesting
2. I don't think you're going to get me to reconsider my position as a leg man...
3. Please don't ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you CPR
4. that was both the raciest and most profane take on 'Green Eggs and Ham' I've ever heard.
5. saying you could do better is like saying water is somewhat moist
6. this is the third honor duel tonight, I'm leaving, PLEASE tell me you're somewhere interesting
Edited 2025-08-22 16:01 (UTC)
1. Tabloids blew it way out of proportion! I'm really okay! You know those things also just make stuff up right?
2. So apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually "severe psychological distress".
3. I don't know if I'm grateful or annoyed that alcohol poisoning doesn't usually apply to me.
4. In his defense, you did say 'bite me' before he bit you.
5. When someone says get a grip, apparently around their neck is not what they meant.
6. You managed to leave bruises. They're mostly gone now, but still, impressive.
7. You can't just lock a door and think I'm not going to find my way through it.
2. So apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually "severe psychological distress".
3. I don't know if I'm grateful or annoyed that alcohol poisoning doesn't usually apply to me.
4. In his defense, you did say 'bite me' before he bit you.
5. When someone says get a grip, apparently around their neck is not what they meant.
6. You managed to leave bruises. They're mostly gone now, but still, impressive.
7. You can't just lock a door and think I'm not going to find my way through it.
That's literally what locks are for. Do we need to review the definition of boundaries again?
1. You can't get mad at me for being allergic to something that ATTACKED me. It touched me first!
2. Got a wedding announcement from my brother. He hasn't contacted me in a decade. Unsure if this is the weirdest 'yeah, I'm alive' I've ever gotten or not.
3. Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed? Be honest.
4. Keep walking. Don't look at me, don't indicate I messaged you this. I just saw a dude I had a disastrous one-night stand with in the Academy behind the counter of the bar.
5. Wanna explain the delta-shaped bruise on my sternum?
6. [ or send your own! misfires adored. let me know which one you want, but 2 only works for aos. ]
2. Got a wedding announcement from my brother. He hasn't contacted me in a decade. Unsure if this is the weirdest 'yeah, I'm alive' I've ever gotten or not.
3. Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed? Be honest.
4. Keep walking. Don't look at me, don't indicate I messaged you this. I just saw a dude I had a disastrous one-night stand with in the Academy behind the counter of the bar.
5. Wanna explain the delta-shaped bruise on my sternum?
6. [ or send your own! misfires adored. let me know which one you want, but 2 only works for aos. ]
I wouldn’t say embarrassed…
Concerned though? That I definitely get.
Concerned though? That I definitely get.
[ 001 ] That might be the most romantic thing you've said to me, unfortunately.
[ 002 ] I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets.
[ 003 ] I didn't want to talk to him, so I just started telling him how important Andraste and the Maker were to me.
[ 004 ] I… am not sure what I need first. A shower or a confessional.
[ 005 ] He thought I was flirting with him, but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
[ etc ] or text him. please be patient with me, i'm still voicetesting.
1. I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
2. Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?
3. So I was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
4. You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
5. Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
2. Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?
3. So I was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
4. You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
5. Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Strangely enough I found that I don't hate myself quite THAT much, actually. Who knew I still had any self-respect left after all these centuries...
( info. open to anachronistic texting, actual texting, or letters/messages. )
1 — anyone mind if this white boy speaks a little español tonight??
2 — theres banter and theres getting yourself killed
3 — did i run into a wall or get hit by a car how tf did i get this bruise
4 — feels like i'm being unfairly targeted bc im the only one here wearing a tuxedo
5 — somehow soeway im gonna mak ethis fucker talk an find out whag he knows
6 — idk if that was the right guy but i punched him anyway
7 — don't bleed on my floor
8 — ( bring your own. assumed cr + misfires a-ok! )
Firstly it's not my blood, and secondly it's not even that much.
01. cute underwear, where'd you get it?
02. [ just sends this photo. ]
03. don't ask.
04. want me to take it off for you?
05. i mean i'd do me too if the multiverse is real
06. text him! misfires welcome
6. misfire text from a YEARS post canon Stiles Stilinski? :D
imeanbeastiary
- 2025-08-23 01:46 (UTC) - Expand1. You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
2. Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
3. [Giant Story, "This Is A Stupid Bar" is continuing its storytelling, HELP]
4. I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick, kind, and completely justified.
5. pretty sure I heard some dokkaebi making plans for a 'beach episode', you might wanna watch out for that
2. Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
3. [Giant Story, "This Is A Stupid Bar" is continuing its storytelling, HELP]
4. I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick, kind, and completely justified.
5. pretty sure I heard some dokkaebi making plans for a 'beach episode', you might wanna watch out for that
1. There are leaves in my underwear?
2. Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
3. I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
4. If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
5. I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
2. Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
3. I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
4. If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
5. I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
A: I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
B: you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
C: None of what you just said was coherent.
D: I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting.
E: i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck.
F: [ Uno Reverse! Text Claire. Misfires, crosscanon, assumed CR all welcome. ]
B: you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
C: None of what you just said was coherent.
D: I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting.
E: i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck.
F: [ Uno Reverse! Text Claire. Misfires, crosscanon, assumed CR all welcome. ]
Sweetie, for future bad weeks, they sell it by the jar.
[ 001 ] Cake is only good when you eat it.
[ 002 ] I feel really bad about last night, can I give you head and we call it even?
[ 003 ] I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard.
I meant his actual lizard. Not his pecker.
[ 004 ] Don't joke about romantic serenades. I do own a lute and I am not afraid to use it.
[ 005 ] Just bought two bottles of wine and a modest wheel of cheese for dinner.
[ etc ] or text him.
James T. Kirk | Star Trek AOS | OTA including AUs you just get one today
smartass_captain
2025-08-22 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Aw fuck
I wanted an obviously ignore this and then worded it stupid hang on
smartass_captain
- 2025-08-23 17:52 (UTC) - Expand1. I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
2. I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
3. I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
4. This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
5. Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
2. I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
3. I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
4. This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
5. Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
As a former (kind of) pizza boy, that would be quite the tip.
1. I will never swim in a flooded basement again.
2. I shouldn't have tried so hard to get my tail out of your grip without waking you. How do you sleep so hard?
3. no one questioned the hat, the fur, the tail, anything. It was nice for five minutes and then started feeling really strange.
4. I can't find Ahrah and there's a full bubble-bath with no one in it. Anything you want to tell me?
5. I have been stuck in this convention since noon. Although I did win a cosplay contest.
2. I shouldn't have tried so hard to get my tail out of your grip without waking you. How do you sleep so hard?
3. no one questioned the hat, the fur, the tail, anything. It was nice for five minutes and then started feeling really strange.
4. I can't find Ahrah and there's a full bubble-bath with no one in it. Anything you want to tell me?
5. I have been stuck in this convention since noon. Although I did win a cosplay contest.
1. Say whatever you want, but my cloak holds both money and so very many complimentary bread sticks.
2. I wouldn’t consider it trespassing, per se. More like an unannounced wellness check of the property.
3. What pray tell does "simp" mean?
4. Every time I looked at her, I would start crying. She's put me in your room to make me stop.
5. [Text him!]
2. I wouldn’t consider it trespassing, per se. More like an unannounced wellness check of the property.
3. What pray tell does "simp" mean?
4. Every time I looked at her, I would start crying. She's put me in your room to make me stop.
5. [Text him!]
1. I'm assuming they haven't taken vows of celibacy until I discover proof otherwise.
2. So tired of weddings. Must make more friends who are already married.
3. I'd burn her portrait for closure but I never got one...
4. did I leave my cloak there?
5. 'stop flirting with girls all the time' 'the kingdom needs an heir' could they just make up their minds?!
2. So tired of weddings. Must make more friends who are already married.
3. I'd burn her portrait for closure but I never got one...
4. did I leave my cloak there?
5. 'stop flirting with girls all the time' 'the kingdom needs an heir' could they just make up their minds?!
1. I rarely say this, but in your particular case, rage may actually be the answer.
2. Fortunately they lost all interest when I explained my particular style of 'dancing' involves chakrams rather than nudity.
3. I can understand developing an attraction to someone capable and powerful enough to defeat you in a duel, but I must say I wish people would think a moment before attempting to act on it after losing THAT badly.
4. This aptitude test listed 'librarian' and 'bartender' as top career choices. Fascinating.
5. They spent thirty seconds attempting to kiss and forty minutes attempting to untangle their masks.
2. Fortunately they lost all interest when I explained my particular style of 'dancing' involves chakrams rather than nudity.
3. I can understand developing an attraction to someone capable and powerful enough to defeat you in a duel, but I must say I wish people would think a moment before attempting to act on it after losing THAT badly.
4. This aptitude test listed 'librarian' and 'bartender' as top career choices. Fascinating.
5. They spent thirty seconds attempting to kiss and forty minutes attempting to untangle their masks.
Edited 2025-08-22 16:04 (UTC)
There is perhaps more overlap there than at first glance. Both deal in comfort, caretaking of stories, and mind expansion.
1. they threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
2. He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
3. it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
4. For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
5. Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
2. He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
3. it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
4. For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
5. Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
[ 001 ] I'm too young to be this hungover.
[ 002 ] I remember you licked my face and said "that's all you're getting."
[ 003 ] Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
[ 004 ] It's not 'excessive cleavage'.
[ 005 ] The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
[ etc ] or text him.
1. Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
2. Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
3. I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
4. For the love of God, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
5. I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
2. Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
3. I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
4. For the love of God, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
5. I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A: No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
B: Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one? Current situation: missing one.
C: It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
D: I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
E: I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
F: [ Choose Your Own Adventure and text Becca! Misfires, crosscanon, assumed CR all good. ]
B: Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one? Current situation: missing one.
C: It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
D: I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
E: I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
F: [ Choose Your Own Adventure and text Becca! Misfires, crosscanon, assumed CR all good. ]
1. Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
2. Did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
3. Sorry didn’t mean to call you, I was just trying to put the T-Rex emoji beside your name
4. We couldn't find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "I'm safe"
5. I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
2. Did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
3. Sorry didn’t mean to call you, I was just trying to put the T-Rex emoji beside your name
4. We couldn't find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "I'm safe"
5. I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
Hon, if that worked I wouldn't have had to sit through those horrible plot lines.
1. thanks to this cookie, i have now eaten something other than coffee today.
2. was that picture taken before or after i supposedly punched him in the face?
3. kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. once again, vandalism solves all my problems.
4. you told me we could build a blanket and pillow 'fuck fort'. if it helps, i did consider it before i turned you down.
5. [Text her, misfires, etc.]
2. was that picture taken before or after i supposedly punched him in the face?
3. kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. once again, vandalism solves all my problems.
4. you told me we could build a blanket and pillow 'fuck fort'. if it helps, i did consider it before i turned you down.
5. [Text her, misfires, etc.]
1. then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!
2. great news I took pics last night!!
warning: most of them are of you collapsed in a corner while I got selfies
3. ( text her! )
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!
2. great news I took pics last night!!
warning: most of them are of you collapsed in a corner while I got selfies
3. ( text her! )
1 please let bruce be your gossip bestie, eve my queen
isnocturnal
- 2025-08-22 17:01 (UTC) - Expand
Page 1 of 10