put that thing back where it came from or so help me

[parrygripp]

The SUDDEN Baby Meme

You don't know where it came from, you don't know who it belongs to, but suddenly there's a baby in your presence, and it's looking like it's your responsibility. Whether this child was left behind on a train or they just showed up on your character's doorstep, something has to be done here.

Time to ask others for help.

How to Play

1. State your character and preferences in the top-level.
2. Tag around and enjoy baby hijinks!
3. Bring diapers.

The Responsible One
Clearly, someone has to take charge here. This child needs to be returned to its guardians!

The Reluctant One
Nope, not happening. Not dealing with this. This is not your character's problem and they're more than happy to pawn this little bundle of joy off on someone else.

The Domestic One
While this kid might not be yours, it can't hurt to make things comfortable while you think of a plan. Maybe go shopping for kids' things, unless you already have some conveniently lying around the house.

The Rational One
Hello? Call the police?

The Reckless One
The last person who should be trusted with a child. Activities include taking the child for a motorcycle ride, attempting to feed the child cold pizza and Sprite, and educating the child on what it means to be punk rock.

The Co-Parent
Teamwork makes the dream work! Congrats. You're in this together, whether you want to be or not.

Choose Your Own Adventure
Naturally, every character will react differently upon being thrown into such a bizarre scenario. Feel free to ignore all of these possibilities and have your character march to the beat of their own drum!

Comments

Jamie Tartt | Ted Lasso | ota

[jamieshark]

cable (nathan summers) | xmcu | ota

[sodark]

[oops this is his life.]

the reluctant one (leading to co-parent probably)

[magike]

( the baby had been in their care for two days now. they'd eliminated the threat, which had eliminated the child's parents, and after debating what to do, had somehow taken her with them. they were staying in a hotel in the city, and rowena's hope was that they could find some other relative for this child.

except it was two days later, and despite her scrying and his-- whatever he did they hadn't found any other trace yet.

rowena sighed as her spell ended, releasing a frustrated breath, lifting the baby back up from where she'd laid her for the spell. centuries-old instincts had come back to her when they'd first taken the baby with them, and she bounced her gently in her arms as she crossed the room, her finger stroking gently over the baby's cheek )

She may not have any other relatives.

( which led to a bigger problem: what did they do then? )

nandor de laurentiis | WWDITS | ota

[delaurentiis]

jimmy / mouthwashing

[fixits]

( what do you want him to do with this? why is it crying?? fuck, he broke it— )

[takingchances]

[Eva holds out her hand immediately, gesturing.]

Here, hand him [her?] over.

[He's looking at the kid like it's either a bomb or degusting and she's not sure which.]

Birdie Lewis | OC | Vampire: The Masquerade | OTA

[acaseofyou]

[ info & permissions! she does not know what to do with a baby but she can sing it malvina reynolds songs to stop it from crying. ]

[terrifies]

"I just can't believe we were the only ones available. There's an entire temple of serpents here and I'm the one whose work is put on hold. For the sake of this..."

The baby blows a snot bubble. Ouija looks over, charmed.

"...Aw, that's gross."

[acaseofyou]

Birdie is sitting with the baby on her lap, still a little bewildered about why Jocalo handed it to her before ushering her and Ouija and baby into another room.

"I think it was a timing thing--"

When she looks down and sees the snot bubble, there's a wave of deep concern. "Is it supposed to do that?"

[terrifies]

"I'm sure he'll come bail us out sooner or later." Ouija agrees, reaching down to pop the bubble. "I have no idea."

The baby looks up and smiles delightedly at Birdie looking down at her, doing a half clap, half hand clasp, her entire face crinkling up.

"Look at that. This is the happiest she's ever been in her life." Ouija observes, "It's probably a low bar, cuz she's what... Ffffour months old?"

[acaseofyou]

"I have no idea about baby ages, honestly."

She's looking down, smiling back at the baby, braids swinging.

And then, predictably, there is a tiny baby fist of indeterminate age yoinking as hard as can be yoinked. Birdie's smile falters, and she leans into it, because at least tiny baby arms don't have a lot of range for pulling. The baby, though, seems absolutely delighted with this new toy attached to Birdie's head.

"Pretty sure this is normal, but ow."

eddie gluskin / outlast

[killsyourdarlings]

( he fucking stole this baby, i'm sorry to say. )

[revmeup]

[ Harley plants her hands on her hips and glares up at her murderous behemoth. ]

Eddie Gluskin! I know you are not trying to bring a baby into this house before the wedding!

[killsyourdarlings]

( she can't glare at him when he's clutching a precious life to his chest! the infant looks that much smaller when in the hands of a giant, but he's nothing but gentle with the way he coddles her.
or him?

you know, he hadn't thought to check beforehand. )

My darling, you've been flighty lately. Disinterested. ( it's been like four weeks, and they're not married, because..? ) My love for our marriage-to-be is so strong, I've taken it upon myself to offer a spot of... motivation.

[revmeup]

[ She tsks but her glare softens as she turns her attention to the squishy potato in his arms. ]

Daddy needs to learn to talk to Mommy about big changes before doing them.

[killsyourdarlings]

I've done this for us. Be agreeable, and I'll even allow you to name her.

( she's currently reaching for his nose, mouth, cheeks, anything she can get her curious little hands on. )

Isn't she perfect? She matches your hair.

[revmeup]

[ She reaches to take the baby. She likes Eddie very much but does not trust him to handle fragile things for very long. ]

Where's all her stuff? Formula, bottles, diapers, a crib... We can't just let our baby sleep on the floor, for Pete's sake.

[killsyourdarlings]

( the baby is just as delighted to grab onto whatever parts of harley it can reach. )

It'll be handled, Harleen. We'll go shopping this evening, and we'll buy everything she needs, and we'll be happy. Isn't that right, baby?

( he kisses the top of said baby's head. eddie, for one, is very happy with this arrangement. )

Her arrival was short-noticed. A happy accident, as most babies tend to be.

[revmeup]

[ Well.

Well, it is a very sweet notion. ]

She's so little. How old is she, do you think?

[killsyourdarlings]

A newborn. ( well, she looks like she's at least a few weeks to a few months old, but let him have this. ) We can't spoil her too terribly. Nothing good comes from a spoiled child, you know.

[revmeup]

[ Eh, newborns in movies always look like this, and how would Harley know otherwise? Not like she's got firsthand baby experience. ]

We can't spoil a kid before it can even do anything for itself yet! Taking care of her every need is just parenting. God, we don't even have a car seat. One of us has to stay here with her while the other gets all the baby stuff.

[killsyourdarlings]

You'd have us separate and set a poor example?

( you know, modelling for the child? the child who is, for some reason, beginning to grow fussy? )

Hold her on your lap, Harleen. It's how my mother held me.

[revmeup]

You were separate from me when you picked her up!

[ She carries the baby to a chair and tries to get comfortable... with ... all of this. ]

I think she's hungry.

The Medicine Seller/Kon | Mononoke Film Trilogy | OTA

[kusuriuris]

[ Maybe there was a baby left orphaned by a mononoke incident, or maybe he simply found the baby somewhere. Either way, the Medicine Seller has a baby. ]

Danny Chase | DC Comics (pre-2012) | OTA

[telekinesis_kills]

[ Most likely to be "The Rational One", but I'm flexible. M/M for any shipping, OTA for gen shenanigans. ]

Eddie Bloomberg (Kid Devil) | DC Comics (Earth-One) | OTA

[kid_devil_you_dont_know]

[ Most likely to be The Domestic One, but again I am flexible. M/F for shipping, OTA for gen shenanigans. ]

Gi-hun | Squid Games

[dontbetonme]

Gambit [Remy LeBeau] | Deadpool & Wolverine | F/M for ships, OTA for gen

[cardsgoboom]

[Still sort of voice testing here.]

Sarah Williams | Return to Labyrinth | F/M ships, OTA gen

[notimefordreams]

[Maybe the fae left her some changeling kid? Who knows. She's decidedly the rational one here.]

Lydia Deetz | Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

[weirdestdream]

[She's already done this and wasn't the best mom that time either so.]

Kate Bishop | MCU | OTA

[hawk_shot]

Super Creek | Umamusume: Pretty Derby | OTA

[mareternal]

[ This is. The best day. Of her life.

Any of the prompts, she’s definitely ready for this and enthusiastic.

If you’re the other parent fair warning you are also baby. All are baby in the eyes of this horse. ]

[disturbs]

[ the rain has been ongoing in texas for the past few weeks, and a couple of guests that she's been housing in a motel are waiting patiently for the storm to pass in order to take part in a race. it's not an unfamiliar thing to the people of texas, even tuesday knows all about those shows and the folks who take part, it's certainly new that these guests are taking part from what she's accustomed to.

the issue is that from here to the race park will take some time, and it's worse if anyone tries to leave during the storm. there's been all sorts of terrible accidents for those who don't listen to reason, and tuesday can only chuckle when there's newspapers describing the bad accident. it seems this time that the group she's taking care of alongside a few other people aren't as bad, they're willing to stay inside, and tuesday's happy to stand behind the motel's guest counter as she coo's at the baby swaddled in cloth in her arms.

the only person subjected to this show of motherly love is... you guessed it! super creek herself who may be sitting idly in the lobby, or maybe she's passing by, but whatever the case may be is that the horse doesn't go unnoticed. ]

Darlin', you're up so late... I reckon the thumps and bumps in the middle of the night has gotten to you?

[ the smile on tuesday's face is sweet, tender and warm despite her pale figure, she almost looks like a ghost standing there if it wasn't for the occassional flush of her cheeks when she talks about the scary parts of the hotel.

her fingers pinch at the fabric of the cloth, bringing it up to keep the unseen child warm. it's at this very moment that there's a thump, the sound of shoes shuffling like someone's running away, and then soft cries coming from a few feet away. tuesday's mouth thins into a straight line as her gaze shifts to the entrance of the door's motel. ]

Excuse me. [ she won't hold super creek there for idle chit-chat but the sound that came from the door requires her assistance as the motel's owner. besides, it would have been rude to send super creek over to do her job. ]

pamela isley | dc comics

[poisonflytrap]

looks at you very innocently

[brokeassgoing]

[he's holding this


baby that he isn't even sure is an actual baby or isn't just-- made of plants-- like this is a bomb, or a hot potato he wants to toss to the nearest person]

Noooo no no, no, no-- [he's also whimpering]

ngl i was waiting for something like this to happen lmao

[poisonflytrap]

[ WHY IS HE BRINGING THIS BACK TO HER???!!! But it is most definitely a real fleshbag bady and not something made of plants.

Ivy’s just sipping on some coffe when she frowns at him, stirring in another sugarcube to her drink. ]

Why am I not surprised? [ sigh. ] If you’re going to put that down on the table then use a coaster first.

bats eyelashes at

[brokeassgoing]

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY AREN'T YOU SURPRISED?! THIS THING ISN'T MINE!

[it doesn't even have red hair, okay, he's innocent! and she's just calmly taking it all in]

Ohhhh my gooooddddd...

[he puts it down-- -on a newspaper]

AND NOW THST WORK ISN'T CRAZY

[poisonflytrap]

But you DO almost always end up in a surprisingly amount of ridiculous situations. To the point where it's baffling. Such as-

[ She gestures to the baby that he puts down on the the morning newspaper.

Ivy sighs, sipping her coffee as she watches the baby cautiously... like it'll explode at any minute. ]

Where exactly did you get this from? Don't tell me it was out ny the dumpsters?

fights work

[brokeassgoing]

You have no room to talk!! Your thong is literally a VINE!! I don't wanna hear iiiiittt!

[at least she only has to deal with this crying baby right now, the little one is content to eat his foot]

Literally outside your door with your name on there.

YES. also i can spell

[poisonflytrap]

[ Oh my Gooooood, Badou. Ivy is tempted to swap his place with the baby and shove him into the bassinet. ]

Calm down. You're overreacting. I swear I'm putting you into a crib next and shoving a binky into your mouth.

[ Shut up, Ivy.

Speaking of the other (actual) baby sucking on it's foot, it's actually... kind of cute? In a weird sort of way. Though him mentioning that it was left on the doorstep with her name on it concerns her... ]

What? Are you serious? Who in their right mind would give me a free baby? I'm not a charity organization.

i believe in u always

[brokeassgoing]

[Badou holds in the nasty comment he's got about babies and-- well you can infer there. he doesn't want to die]

I have no idea! I just found it, thought maybe someone left you a hosta plant or something. But it was a whole ass baby.

[at least the baby isn't fussy so far, either. when he reaches over to poke it's tummy, it giggles around that foot]

<333

[poisonflytrap]

[ That's wise of him. Who knows what she'll do at any given moment. ]

This is someone's idea of a sick joke -- I bet Batman is behind it. Just like he's behind everything else wrong with the world. [ When in doubt, always blame Batman for everything. ] I can take care of a plant, but I have no idea what the hell to do with a baby. Maybe I should just toss it.

[ Ivy says that, but with a wave of her hand the vines of her hanging wall plants are already lifting and cradling the baby like a mother as it giggles and sucks on it's foot. ]

[brokeassgoing]

Why the hell would he give you a baby? He knows you'd use it for compost.

[there's a moment it's clear he's wondering if letting her cradle that baby with her vines, but ultimately, he can't do much]

Maybe we should give it to him. Let him hopefully adopt it out, and not adopt himself.

[poisonflytrap]

Honestly? I think if he gave me a baby it'd be more for Harley. Something about seeing the 'good' in her...

[ And even if Harley is more 'good-aligned' than Ivy... both Ivy and Badou know that the combination of Harley with a baby is an even worse idea. She'd probably go bungee jumping with it or launch herself out of a cannon while holding it.

The thought of Batman adopting something else into that stupid little, annoying Bat-family makes Ivy's nose wrinkle up and her facial expression shift into a combination of vexed and disgusted. ]

Would he, though? Adopt it out? [ She side glances the baby, which is still happily chewing on it's foot while being rocked back and forth by the vines. ] I may be somewhat of a monster, but even I don't think it deserves being tangled up in that mess of a family.

[brokeassgoing]

[the expression he makes, like a lemon shoved up a butthole, speaks a lot about what Badou thinks of the combo of an infant and Harley Quinn.

Batman and a baby is....worrisome. He's got enough of them, he doesn't need more]

I hope he'd give it to someone good. He's got too much shit going on, the way he and the big booty one fight all the time.

[poisonflytrap]

[ It's a dangerous, dangerous combo, that's for sure. ]

He should have given it to the orphanage. That's their specialty, apparently. Maybe- [ She pauses to look at the baby again, sighing an exasperated sigh. Son of a bitch- ] -maybe I'll stop by to drop it off tomorrow...

[ And then he mentions Batman fighting with the "big booty one". PLEASE, Badou, please don't make Ivy picture the Joker with a big booty.

Oh. Wait. He's talking about-- ]

Catwoman? My God, Badou... they way she and him fight is like a circus act... and not in the entertaining way. Actually, it's more like nails on a chalkboard, those two. [ She makes a face. ] Who wants to willing be brought up around those two? Besides nutcases, I mean.

[brokeassgoing]

Wait, no, I meant Nightwing-- literal fighting like, dad-son fights, probably. Hell if I know.

[he sends the baby a guilty little look, brow furrowed. an orphanage, in Gotham, can't be good. that's why so many are brought up to be Bats, apparently. still. that's probably what they'll have to do]

Does Catwoman tell you what he's like in bed and all that shit? Cause they're for sure fucking.

Alastor | Hazbin Hotel

[venisin]

Xiao Lanhua | Love Between Fairy and Devil | M/F

[xiyun]

{Fairy baby ftw? Fairy baby that is actually a deity probably?}