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bakerstreet2025-07-03 09:00 pm
trashtalker) wrote in bakerstreet2025-07-03 09:00 pm
Entry tags:
1. had to remind myself that killing her is not a good career move AGAIN.
2. Aesir Alcohol and Fireworks are a losing combination no matter what safety precautions you take.
3. they're like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
4. all my brainrot is now children's edutainment coded. H E L P
5. said i'm unapproachable. little bitch needs to learn to approach better
6. Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
7. 50# of ground beef, 25# potatoes, 10 gallons of borscht, Dole whip mix, 3 gallons of vodka, pallet of fireworks, body glitter.
8. text him
2. Aesir Alcohol and Fireworks are a losing combination no matter what safety precautions you take.
3. they're like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
4. all my brainrot is now children's edutainment coded. H E L P
5. said i'm unapproachable. little bitch needs to learn to approach better
6. Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
7. 50# of ground beef, 25# potatoes, 10 gallons of borscht, Dole whip mix, 3 gallons of vodka, pallet of fireworks, body glitter.
8. text him
O.M.G.
You better be serious right now.
You better be serious right now.
Edited 2025-07-04 04:16 (UTC)
1. If I open that door am I going to be angry? Be honest.
2. Please remove the clown doll from my chair, you've made your point.
3. She said I looked like her first husband, then mentioned she's never been married before.
4. "Surprise" inspection today. I'm telling you this because I need you to have pants on and also not to be in my bed.
5. It's always where are you Jim, what are you doing Jim, why are you being like this Jim, who do you think you are Jim, and never how are you, Jim?
6. [ or send your own! lmk if you'd like a response from mirror, older, alt femme, snw/alt snw, or, uh, tos if you're feeling saucy. previous shipping partners/previous discussion only for 4, thanks! ]
2. Please remove the clown doll from my chair, you've made your point.
3. She said I looked like her first husband, then mentioned she's never been married before.
4. "Surprise" inspection today. I'm telling you this because I need you to have pants on and also not to be in my bed.
5. It's always where are you Jim, what are you doing Jim, why are you being like this Jim, who do you think you are Jim, and never how are you, Jim?
6. [ or send your own! lmk if you'd like a response from mirror, older, alt femme, snw/alt snw, or, uh, tos if you're feeling saucy. previous shipping partners/previous discussion only for 4, thanks! ]
Why does this always happen when I have something planned!!
heeeelp i'm so glad you pick this one every time i use it
negativechill
- 2025-07-04 04:10 (UTC) - Expandsomeday they'll get to have their nice time and klaxons will start going off
negativechill
- 2025-07-04 04:22 (UTC) - Expand5, idk she got timewarped in or accidental first contact or trek AU who knows
veiljump
- 2025-07-04 18:09 (UTC) - Expand( info. open to anachronistic texting, actual texting, or letters/messages. assumed cr and misfires a-ok! )
1 — idk some kind of bone is on display there
2 — honestly probably better that you didn't bring an axe and trashcan
3 — alright we men freaks for this one
4 — yeah those are my teethmarks on the pill bottle lid
5 — you're not supposed to run out of pepper spray
6 — FUCK
YOUR COUCH
7 — i live outside gods sight and by consequence outside his love
8 — ( bring your own. )
01. You sent me seven Happy Birthday texts last night, one after the other, each spelled differently.
02. No, I don't think it's completely OK for me to lose all sense of my morals because it's my birthday.
03. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
[ Salaryman years only... ...and it's his birthday party. ]
04. The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
[ Sadly not student years. ]
05. Do you have the wherewithal to pick up a baguette?
06. [ Text him! Misfires welcome by me, if not him. Student, sorcery drop out and corporate drop out all available, except as noted, but plz label it. ]
02. No, I don't think it's completely OK for me to lose all sense of my morals because it's my birthday.
03. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
[ Salaryman years only... ...and it's his birthday party. ]
04. The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
[ Sadly not student years. ]
05. Do you have the wherewithal to pick up a baguette?
06. [ Text him! Misfires welcome by me, if not him. Student, sorcery drop out and corporate drop out all available, except as noted, but plz label it. ]
Edited (oops) 2025-07-04 04:02 (UTC)
i was going to send 73 but i ran out of ways to spell and turn it into symbols around 59 :( i'm sure i'll manage next year though so be ready!
also my sister sent you a gift!
[ haibara also has gift(s) for him obviously but he's super delighted about the one his sister sent. she even over nighted it! he's more or less been rattling her ear off about nanami off and on so she knows he likes bread. she sent a fresh loaf. it's a family recipe and actually uses some of the locally harvested rice in it, pulverized down into a flour to mix with regular flour, which gives it a slightly airier lighter but subtle chew at the same time. it's best toasted juuuust a little. ]
also my sister sent you a gift!
[ haibara also has gift(s) for him obviously but he's super delighted about the one his sister sent. she even over nighted it! he's more or less been rattling her ear off about nanami off and on so she knows he likes bread. she sent a fresh loaf. it's a family recipe and actually uses some of the locally harvested rice in it, pulverized down into a flour to mix with regular flour, which gives it a slightly airier lighter but subtle chew at the same time. it's best toasted juuuust a little. ]
1. I threw up in 3 different cities already today.
2. Your brother just walked into my room, piss drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. You have one hour to deal with him before I do.
3. He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down.
4. Bart just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
5. [ Text first? Gen welcome too! ]
2. Your brother just walked into my room, piss drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. You have one hour to deal with him before I do.
3. He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down.
4. Bart just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
5. [ Text first? Gen welcome too! ]
that he ate it or got it
i could have sworn it was your turn to get him, tim1, YJ or early TT preferred but if adjustment is required lmk
mini_supes
- 2025-07-04 05:31 (UTC) - Expand1. I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of July won't be so bad.
2. I specifically said DO NOT open the door. now you have to live with the consequences of your actions.
3. Tell me in 10 words or less why I should come bail you out.
4. Happy Birthday, Steve!
5. My friends seem to think I'm very interesting, but I'm just struggling to find a conditioner that works.
6. I did warn you that things tend to go wrong when I try and be social.
7. I don't think my arm is broken: I can still text.
2. I specifically said DO NOT open the door. now you have to live with the consequences of your actions.
3. Tell me in 10 words or less why I should come bail you out.
4. Happy Birthday, Steve!
5. My friends seem to think I'm very interesting, but I'm just struggling to find a conditioner that works.
6. I did warn you that things tend to go wrong when I try and be social.
7. I don't think my arm is broken: I can still text.
Edited 2025-07-04 04:05 (UTC)
Is this some sort of bizarre American tradition I'm unaware of?
Those cupcakes were for later you know.
I hope the whole plate isn't gone.
Those cupcakes were for later you know.
I hope the whole plate isn't gone.
1. I still taste you from last night upon my lips. I cannot profess you taste like wine. Nor can I claim you taste like chroma. I can only contend you simply taste like you.
2. I cannot help but think leaving me chained here is an abuse of your talents. When do you intend to release me?
3. On occasion she requests I wear the baguette outfit when we retire to our bedroom. I cannot understand her at times. Does she have some image of me she cannot share? I cannot claim the idea appeals to me, but if she needs this, then damn my pride. It is a question about her happiness. The combination does possess a certain appeal, I suppose…
4. You call me a tease? You started this and now blame me.
5. Too old for this? My dear, we used to indulge in much worse
6. Stop texting my family. This is your only warning.
2. I cannot help but think leaving me chained here is an abuse of your talents. When do you intend to release me?
3. On occasion she requests I wear the baguette outfit when we retire to our bedroom. I cannot understand her at times. Does she have some image of me she cannot share? I cannot claim the idea appeals to me, but if she needs this, then damn my pride. It is a question about her happiness. The combination does possess a certain appeal, I suppose…
4. You call me a tease? You started this and now blame me.
5. Too old for this? My dear, we used to indulge in much worse
6. Stop texting my family. This is your only warning.
1. Maybe if I eat something filling like pizza I’ll be less hungry for things like dick.
2. I’ve been living off popsicles and broth 🙁
3. Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Happy Pride!
4. Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please. This is also a sext.
5. There's a woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
6. Bring your own text!
1 ► I am becoming a pro at deescalation.
2 ► How do you guys nut without making a mess?
3 ► Some words you can only spell on autopilot. Once you stop to think about it, you've already lost the fight.
4 ► I was recently at a hangout where I didn't know anyone very well, so I asked everyone their favorite species of shark and told them facts about them. I have now been informed by other friends that it was "strange behavior even for me"
Have you considered acquiring better friends?
there’s no way prompt 4 wasn’t a summoning ritual for me. Bet
riotgun
- 2025-07-10 14:19 (UTC) - Expand1 ► I want devotion. And also clarity
2 ► I think being six feet tall is a little excessive.
3 ► yet thou wilt still not heed my words regarding the blasphemy
4 ► I think it would be incredibly emotionally fulfilling to hit someone in the back of the head really hard with a shovel
5 ► I have political reasons for it now but my original and still most powerful reason is "I am not getting out of this bed one single second before I have to."
1. I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
2. I wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
3. Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40am. I’m justifying it with the fact that I just got off a 48.
4. This is an emotional support booty call.
5. Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging.
6. Bring your own text!
1. There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future.
2. I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
3. Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
4. The neighbors in the apartment above me are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one.
5. ( Wildcard / Text first? M/M for shipping, OTA for gen! )
2. I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
3. Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
4. The neighbors in the apartment above me are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one.
5. ( Wildcard / Text first? M/M for shipping, OTA for gen! )
♬. i’m drinking on a roof. not sure which one~
♭. fyi at my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket~
♮. no i'mn ot lying to you im just not telling you everything big difference
♪. i’ve been told that without my personality i’m a pretty good one night stand.
≠. this place is full of the visually unfortunate and financially annoying. as usual!or text him! open to misfires. cross-canon, cross-mediums, ocs: all fine. m/m only and 21+ for anything ship oriented, with exception for canonmates. + ugetsu hates phones so he must be very bored or very not-doing-well or both to use it at all.
[info! ota gen especially misfires — canonmates, crosscanon welcome. 25+ for ships.]
1. i haven’t seen you in like two years and we have sixteen hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
2. i think i accidentally got a sugar daddy but i was already planning on sleeping with him so i’m going to see where this goes
3. let the record show that i hate your ass
4. had to remind myself again that killing him is not a good career move
5. you left me a note that said “the world is blowing up, being the wine.” wtf
6. text him!
1. i haven’t seen you in like two years and we have sixteen hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
2. i think i accidentally got a sugar daddy but i was already planning on sleeping with him so i’m going to see where this goes
3. let the record show that i hate your ass
4. had to remind myself again that killing him is not a good career move
5. you left me a note that said “the world is blowing up, being the wine.” wtf
6. text him!
Do not work for free. Anything worth doing is worth getting paid for.
1.) Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
2.) I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
3.) FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
4.) It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
5.) Text him
2.) I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
3.) FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
4.) It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
5.) Text him
[ 001 ] Saw a dead body on the way to the casino.
[ 002 ] That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
[ 003 ] Are you also wondering how we got back?
[ 004 ] You are not my drinking buddy. You are my drinking enemy.
[ 005 ] I got two bottles of red and sorrows to drown in, you in?
[ etc ] ota. bring your own texts if you're inclined.
A Crow or a regular one because we gotta handle those differently
1. I am battling a regenerating monster (never-ending pile of laundry)
2. Why is my shirt charred?
3. Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
4. In my defense it's my birthday and I really want to do it.
5. They did an ass ranking poll in honor of my birthday....
2. Why is my shirt charred?
3. Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
4. In my defense it's my birthday and I really want to do it.
5. They did an ass ranking poll in honor of my birthday....
1. Just printed out a drug dealer's resume for her. Guess the weed scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
2. He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
3. Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
4. Good morning. Or afternoon. Sorry for falling asleep on you.
5. (text first? assumed cr + misfires aok! )
2. He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
3. Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
4. Good morning. Or afternoon. Sorry for falling asleep on you.
5. (text first? assumed cr + misfires aok! )
awww, that's really sweet! best thing someone's gotten from a civilian i think1. and if i don't report in what are they gonna do? fire me??
2. you want your jacket back or not?
3. the wings are bullet proof. not my body. stupid.
4. well they tried reassigning me but everyone keeps dying.
5. i can't feel my legs. that's new.
6. ( text your own. open to misfires. m/m )
1. my aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
2. i'm really sick of you accidentally texting me when you're doing illegal things. i'm taking away your phone.
3. my 12 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
4. i love science majors. she told me she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and her initial data had been inconclusive. so for the next few weeks, i'm part of her experiment. the only work i have to do is keep a log.
5. [Wildcard something!]
2. i'm really sick of you accidentally texting me when you're doing illegal things. i'm taking away your phone.
3. my 12 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
4. i love science majors. she told me she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and her initial data had been inconclusive. so for the next few weeks, i'm part of her experiment. the only work i have to do is keep a log.
5. [Wildcard something!]
Ooooh! Those are "special" brownies. A advice from your older brother, once you do get to them don't gorge yourself on them okay? Start with one and let it work its magic. I made them mistakes of having too many at once.
1. Seriously, I'd take you over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
2. I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot. on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
3. Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Satoru Gojou would be rolling over in his grave right now.
4. I'm just saying, telling people you're a dad is a high risk high reward thing in a bar.
5. Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
6. [ or just text him instead it's probably a good idea ]
2. I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot. on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
3. Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Satoru Gojou would be rolling over in his grave right now.
4. I'm just saying, telling people you're a dad is a high risk high reward thing in a bar.
5. Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
6. [ or just text him instead it's probably a good idea ]
I'm not sure if I should be flattered that I caught your eye the most.
Or annoyed that I had any competition to begin with.
Or annoyed that I had any competition to begin with.
1. you left your dildo in my car
2. you told me i got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that i made it to the bar
3. this is the third time my roommate and i have drunkenly hooked up. i'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
4. i have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
5. you called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
6. idiscovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when her parents walk in the room
7. i can't remember what i did last night, but judging from the state of my hair we had a pretty good time.
8. [ text her instead you will probably only mildly regret it ]
2. you told me i got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that i made it to the bar
3. this is the third time my roommate and i have drunkenly hooked up. i'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
4. i have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
5. you called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
6. idiscovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when her parents walk in the room
7. i can't remember what i did last night, but judging from the state of my hair we had a pretty good time.
8. [ text her instead you will probably only mildly regret it ]
1. do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the marines you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with panda man?
2. just wrestled a marine. he won my pants. i won my freedom. in bandana and boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
3. you can't just snailchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
4. i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
5. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
6. [ or just text or misfire yourself tbh ]
2. just wrestled a marine. he won my pants. i won my freedom. in bandana and boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
3. you can't just snailchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
4. i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
5. also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
6. [ or just text or misfire yourself tbh ]
1. Is it wrong that im more embarassed about the karoke than the toplessness?
2. If you really hate me that much, you need to stop putting your mouth on my vagina. It sends the wrong message.
3. I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
4. Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right. But I still got in.
5. we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from my kitchen.
6. UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
7. Text her!
2. If you really hate me that much, you need to stop putting your mouth on my vagina. It sends the wrong message.
3. I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
4. Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right. But I still got in.
5. we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from my kitchen.
6. UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
7. Text her!
01. me and gojo sensei hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
02. I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
03. Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
04. If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
05. Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
06. [ or just text him, misfires and such welcome. ]
02. I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
03. Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
04. If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
05. Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
06. [ or just text him, misfires and such welcome. ]
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