Love me tinder

[lovemod]

the tinder meme Maybe you can't find a date. Maybe you don't want to find a date. Maybe this whole thing was set up by your well-meaning friends, or your prank-playing enemies, or your over-involved mother. Whatever the reason, you're on a swipe-based dating system. Call it tinder, cuddlr, e-harmony but for shallow assholes... you're on it. What's the worst that could happen?

FORMATTING
<center><table style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 2;"><tr><td width="260" align="center"><img src="IMG URL HERE" style="width: 245px; border-radius: 15px; border: 1px solid #7F7F7F; box-shadow: #8D8D8D 1px 1px 1px;"><br /><b><big><big>CHARACTER NAME (CHARACTER AGE)</big></big></b><br><div align="justify"> CHARACTER BIO <br><tr><td><center><span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span> <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span></div></center></td></tr></td></tr></table></center>

Comments

what does krobus bring on a first date? A U-HAAAAULLLLL

[krobus]

The other shadow monsters have attacked the farmers in the town I lived in before. They were scared of me at first, but I established trade with them. That is where I learned about mayonnaise.

[Krobus is just different! The other shadow monsters didn't even worship Yoba. EVERYONE was into Yoba.]

I don't mind rot, it is a surprise every time.

I keep my hands to myself unless it is for hugs. We can try either or, when I move in.

I am moving in?

Well you can't eat mayo with just any spoon, so you gotta BYOS

[inorganism]

I don't understand why they are so ...spirited. [ The first time the stress of WX's situation in the Constant got to them, and they actually saw one of these nightmares made manifest, they'd been completely dumbstruck to discover nobody else could see it. Interdimensional science and math is nothing to WX, and magic is equally confusing. Krobus seems less confusing, though. ] Have you tried other forms of egg? Some are very different.

[ They snort mechanically at 'a surprise every time'. That's kind of hilarious. ] ..Hugs..? I have never been hugged. [ They take a second to think hard on it and then add: ] I am open to the possibility.

Yes. By all means. How many storage chests will you require?

no cuck jokes. none!!

[krobus]

I know a farmer that has blue chickens but they only give regular eggs. And then there are the Void chickens, they give eggs that no one wants, but I do. I want them.

Then the ostrich egg ... that is really good!

[Krobus can cook, he just doesn't know a lot of recipes. If only there was a book with them written down. ]

1 large chest or perhaps two small? And we can hug, or I can hug something nearby and you can observe.

[inorganism]

I am noting all of your preferences and aversions in /folderpath/roommate/askfornamelater.txt

I will retrieve a Tallbird egg for you to increase your sample size. There is no need to thank me. I enjoy it. It is roughly the size of an ostrich egg, I believe.

...Acknowledged. I am intrigued by your process. Perhaps when it is cold, you can acquire warmth from hugs. The meatlings seem to benefit from it. [ Skilltree updates that made WX a team player in all kinds of ways? You know it. ]

[krobus]

[ Krobus notices, askfornamelater... ]

I'm Krobus!

[inorganism]

Oh, that is your name. Good. I was not certain.

Then, I look forward to our mutually profitable alliance, Krobus.

[krobus]

And you are?

Profitable spiritually or financially?

[inorganism]

WX-78. Many of my organic companions shorten it to WX. I am not bothered.

Spiritually, and condimentally.

What hours do you keep? I can maintain a quiet period.

[krobus]

I try to stay awake with the daylight, as most of the creatures I converse with do the same!

On Fridays, I stay silent as a sign of respect to Yoba. That is my deity of choice.

[inorganism]

Do these interactions please you, or do you gain something by them?

Ah. If I had to choose a god, it would be the Moon. But I am not aware that there are requirements for worship. Are you permitted to write, or sign, or would this be seen as unfaithful? I have been taught rudimentary sign language.

[krobus]

They please me! And coins please me!

I have chosen to not speak. But I am interested in sign language for other reasons?

[inorganism]

I do not understand commerce.

Acceptable. Would you be interested in learning together with me?

[krobus]

I can teach you. Do you accumulate anything over time?

I would! We can even make our own signs!

[inorganism]

...accumulate... do you mean objects? Skills? Data?

Excellent idea.

The most important signs we should standardize are HELLO, STATUS GOOD/BAD, GOODBYE, 'HELP ME', and... WHAT.

how krobus gets the stuff is a mystery, so i made that part up

[krobus]

I live in the sewers, downstream from the Wizard's Tower. When he does magic in his cauldron that doesn't work out, he dumps it out and starts over.

I fish it out, and sell it to the farmer in town, the new farmer. She started to bring me things, and I found I didn't need to sell it for as much.

I also have a lot (a lot!) of iridium.

HELP ME is important, especially if I am attacked on a Friday!

I love it!! HC away.

[inorganism]

Magic. :| It is illogical, and unreliable, but I have no choice but to admit it has great utility and power. I can see why it is desirable.

So you trade magical effluvia for a precious mineral or metal! Yours is the gain, metal and gears are reliably powerful. Whatever nature and magic can do, I can replicate, as good, or better.

[ They ponder. ] Thank you for explaining it.

Are you attacked often?

[krobus]

The Wizard says a lot of ridiculous things and I suspect he's messing with people's memories.

I'd like to build something! Maybe a device for fishing?

No... not really. If I go into the mines, there are other Shadow Brutes there and they don't care who is in the way.