[If he could- Jack puts nothing past anyone anymore- he'd see Jack making a slow circle were he stands behind the counter at the gas station with the phone in his hand.]
Have you employed the gnomes to spy for you? You can be honest with me, man.
If you could do that, I would probably pay you $100 right now. No, actually, don't. My mom sucked just as much as everyone else in my family. I don't want to talk to her right now.
Anyway. No, no podcasts, actually. But I was totally serious when I asked who the hell this is, if this isn't Jerry.
Huh???? I missed a beat????????????????????? How dare you, that woman fed me the best pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, I'm going to fight you if you cut her off
Anyway I told you I don't like those kind of pet names
It's weird enough I have to worry about sharing you with Kait
No she didn't. I promise you, MY mother did not do that. I think you got the wrong guy, is what I'm saying. Maybe we're number neighbors and your finger slipped??? Idk. My name's Jack.
But I don't know who Kait is. And if this is like- your girlfriend, boyfriend, amorphous dark god- we don't judge at The Gas Station, honestly- that you're talking to, or you know, that you're TRYING to talk to... I'm just saying, I don't know your situation, but... Maybe don't- Don't settle for being someone's unicorn third in their relationship, you know?
[Too much? Probably. Especially for strangers. But Jack lost any little bit of filter he had a long time ago. He blames Jerry, mostly. And maybe Benjamin a little bit.]
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bakerstreet2025-05-22 09:00 pm
plz remember this is "absurdist horror" canon LOL
[If he could- Jack puts nothing past anyone anymore- he'd see Jack making a slow circle were he stands behind the counter at the gas station with the phone in his hand.]
Have you employed the gnomes to spy for you?
You can be honest with me, man.
L m a o
Did I just send you into some sort of impaired consciousness because I called you cute?
Is my game that strong??? Huh?????????????????????????
Ryan here I come
1/?
2/?
This isn't the time.
Quit fuckin' around
3/3
And how did you get his phone?
Misfire fuckery ftw
Babe are you listening to those podcasts again
I told you they're weird. I fucking told you they'd affect you.
Don't make me call your momma, now
Re: Misfire fuckery ftw
No, actually, don't.
My mom sucked just as much as everyone else in my family. I don't want to talk to her right now.
Anyway. No, no podcasts, actually.
But I was totally serious when I asked who the hell this is, if this isn't Jerry.
#justhimbothings
Anyway I told you I don't like those kind of pet names
It's weird enough I have to worry about sharing you with Kait
lmfao this is a hilarious mess A++
I promise you, MY mother did not do that.
I think you got the wrong guy, is what I'm saying.
Maybe we're number neighbors and your finger slipped??? Idk.
My name's Jack.
But I don't know who Kait is.
And if this is like- your girlfriend, boyfriend, amorphous dark god- we don't judge at The Gas Station, honestly- that you're talking to, or you know, that you're TRYING to talk to...
I'm just saying, I don't know your situation, but... Maybe don't-
Don't settle for being someone's unicorn third in their relationship, you know?
[Too much? Probably. Especially for strangers. But Jack lost any little bit of filter he had a long time ago. He blames Jerry, mostly. And maybe Benjamin a little bit.]
no subject
Wow
I fucked up
Name's Dylan. And 'guy with no sense ' apparently, as you feel the need to tell a stranger they're not respecting themselves enough.
That's bad, man. Rotten. The terrible vibes are vicious.