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Jonathan Sims | The Magnus Archives

[postapocalypticgoogle]

1. It’s all coming back to me in waves... Waves of humiliation and nausea.

2. The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions

3. Wait... Why were you finger painting at one in the morning?

4. I'm lying on the floor in my office praying my boss doesn't come to work today. Never again.

5. I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.

6. Wildcard, text him!

1

[lskennedy]

Yeah… me too. How do I make it stop?

[postapocalypticgoogle]

Well throwing up is not the answer, it just made my throat burn.

[lskennedy]

I dunno. It made the room stop spinning for me, at least.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

Well good for you, I still feel like garbage and it did not purge my hangover like I hoped it would.

[lskennedy]

You’ll live. Or at least, you’ll survive the hangover part. Whether or not you survive the humiliation is anyone’s guess.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

You don’t know that for sure. The humiliation is pretty bad too. I lost all sense of English propriety.

[lskennedy]

… you could say that, yeah. But I’d say you just got fun, so there’s that.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

Because I let you drag me into you getting on a table and climbing a statue shenanigans?

[lskennedy]

Exactly that, yeah. Besides, the statue thing was only a bad idea once we needed to get down again. And I caught you, sort of, so it was fine.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

Oh.
That’s what the bruise on my ribs is from then.
Wonderful.

[lskennedy]

Better than them being broken. You’re welcome, by the way.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

My Knight in shining leather jacket.

[lskennedy]

Maybe I’ll even give you a princess carry next time. Save you eating shit on your way home.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

Maybe I enjoy skinning my knees.
But I might let you if you can pick me up.

5;

[motherofpuppets]

Well.
Not ALL of them are craving Chinese.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

Ah.
Well.
I personally think Chinese food is much better than eating people.

[motherofpuppets]

You might be... surprised just how much you might like it, Archivist.

[postapocalypticgoogle]

No thank you.
I think I’ll stick to trying to uh… not eat people.

4;

[ghosthuntuk]

Does it... honestly even matter anymore?
We're not exactly doing our jobs anymore at this point.

[Actively trying to kill your boss is probably NOT how you should spend your work day, but it's the only thing that's keeping her going at this point. Let her have her dreams.]

[postapocalypticgoogle]

It matters because he’ll only see fit to give me more work and increase my hangover exponentially.
Probably annoy me too.
I’d rather not be annoyed when I’m trying to feel sorry for myself.

[ This is all Daisys fault. ]

[ghosthuntuk]

Did you try to go shot-for-shot with Daisy?

[postapocalypticgoogle]

Yes.
How is she as fresh as her namesake and I am dying?
I mean it was needed but I have regrets.
Is anybody working or are all of you on strike?

3

[positivelyroomy]

Is there a more appropriate time for finger painting?

[ The answer, of course, is no. Not past the age of ten. Like Martin has shame. ]

[postapocalypticgoogle]

[ escaping captcha here! ]