fmk

[hydrates]

FUCK*, MARRY, OR KILL
a game with a twist



You know the game: now, let’s dabble in a version that’s a little bit unusual.

how to play
○ Do the comment do.
○ Folks line up to say whether they would fuck* (*kiss, if your character's underage or you're not into R-rated dialogue), marry, or kill your guy.
○ Rinse. Repeat. ♾️

Comments

[nutkrusher]

What, to all three?

[meds4sale]

No. Simply the only one I find worthwhile.

[He doesn't kill the living and he's done the whole marriage thing for few hours; too bittersweet for his tastes.]

[nutkrusher]

Here for a good time, not a long time, huh?

[Beat.]

Dunno, you're a little pointier than what I usually go for. It'd depend on your personality.

[meds4sale]

Both, actually.

Though if I am not to your tastes, I take no offense.

[nutkrusher]

You could maybe talk to Liu Kang. Age is just a number to him, apparently. Though he might already already be taken by another 10,000 year old.

[meds4sale]

My, my, such a revered elder, indeed.

[Said without the slightest hint of reverence.]

Is he an acquaintance of yours...?

[nutkrusher]

Yeah, sorta. It's complicated, there's, like, timelines and Titans and revenants involved.

[WARNING: Attempting to explain Mortal Kombat lore may cause your brain to drizzle out your nose.]

[meds4sale]

Well well.

What is the saying these days...?

...Ah yes.

That tea sounds

scalding.

[Girl, spill it.]

[nutkrusher]

Frothy and messy, more like. But sure.

[She takes a deep breath.]

So Liu Kang was a Shaolin monk who represented Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat, which is a once-in-a-generation tournament between realms decreed by the Elder Gods to allow one Realm to absorb another with ten consecutive victories. Liu Kang thwarted Shao Khan and Outworld by winning twice. (I know I said "once in a generation," but there was a second one right after; that's a whole different thing, don't worry about it).

While he was there, he hit it off with Kitana, the Princess of Outworld who was ten thousand years old and didn't know she had been adopted and kidnapped from her real father. But she helped him 'cause they wanted to fuck.

Anyway, after getting bitched out twice Shao Khan got mad and decided to cheat the Elder Gods by invading Earthrealm straight up. Liu Kang tried to stop him, but the thunder god Raiden got a premonition from the future that Shao Khan needed to try to merge the realms so the Elder Gods could strike him down. Liu Kang didn't agree and Raiden accidentally killed him. And also all the other fighters got killed except my mom and dad, but the Elder Gods stopped Shao Khan.

Anyway, Liu Kang and Kitana were brought back as evil revenants serving the dark god Shinnok. After I beat up Shinnok, Liu Kang and Kitana became king and queen of the Netherrealm.

But THEN, Kronika the Titan of Time threw a fuckin bitch fit and decided to reset all the timelines so good and evil could be more balanced or some shit. So she crunched the past and the present together so she could, like, recruit people? Don't know why she couldn't have just put up a listing on LinkedIn.

But whatever, the good Liu Kang was back. And then HE beat Kronika and reset the timeline and he's basically God now.

And Kitana is around somewhere, I don't fuckin' knooowwww-

[And after that rapidfire recitation, she collapses theatrically to her knees as though out of breath.]