It's a trap

[sarabi]

the TRAPPED meme


Your day has just taken a definite turn for the worse. There you were, minding your own business, exploring a cave system or wandering through a structurally unsound building or whatever it is you do for fun (hey, no judgement here), when by sabotage or natural disaster or plain old fashioned bad luck, suddenly it's collapsing all around you.

Tough break.


1. H/C options

1. Claustrophobia. Some people don't do too well with tight spaces, particularly when the way out just disappeared in a cloud of dust and rubble. Hopefully whoever's down there with you can help keep you calm.
2. Injury. Broken bones and blunt force trauma, oh my! Turns out collapsing chunks of ceiling are bad for the health. Who saw that coming.
3. BONUS ROUND: HEAD INJURY. Who am I, where am I, where the hell did this headache come from? Whether they've got a concussion or full-on plot-convenient amnesia, there's one thing to remember - keep them talking, and don't let them fall asleep.
4. BONUS ROUND: HYPOTHERMIA. Because it's not a H/C options section without the classic huddling-for-warmth trope.
5. Mission Failed. Well you may be in one piece, but whatever you were trying to achieve before you got trapped? Doomed. As long as you're going nowhere, might as well dwell on the consequences of your failure.

2. ACTION options

1. We need to go deeper. The way you came in is gone? Well that only leaves you one option. Better keep exploring, and hope there's a back way out everyone just forgot to mention...
2. BONUS ROUND: Shit, too deep. What do you mean you forgot to mark the way you came as you passed? You're lost? Well shit.
3. We're not alone in here... You hear that? Footsteps just a little too out-of-sync with your own, and-- was that a whisper of a breeze or something breathing...?
4. Dig for freedom! Wait for rescue? Pah! We don't need no stinkin' rescue. You can dig your own way out thank-you-very-much.
5. The next round. Whatever just brought everything crashing down round you? Whether it was explosion or earthquake, there's another one coming - you may have survived last time, but better get the hell out before round two or you might not be so lucky.
6. The show must go on. You're in one piece, so whatever you were trying to achieve before you got trapped? You're going to damn well achieve it, come hell or high water.

3. OBLIGATORY SMUT option

• 'cause you crazy kids are gonna stick it in there (pun absolutely intended) one way or another

4. WILDCARD option

• Whatever. I'm a meme, not a cop.

Warning: This meme is likely to deal with severe injury, and may be uncomfortable for people with claustrophobia. Please be a good RPer and respect your thread partners' wishes if they are uncomfortable with something!

Comments

[doesntsing]

[ Her senses having returned to her, Midge calls across the lobby to the soldier. ]

Yeah, he got lucky that he’s still alive.

[ Literally. Midge guesses that most of the other people at the hotel didn’t realize they were stuck in the elevator, as everyone seems to be going about their business.

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, trying to shake off the elevator ordeal. ]

Yeah. Lead the way.

[getmeoutofthedraft]

[He doesn't need much of a push to do so. His knees still feel wobbly, his head pulsing with leftover adrenaline, but in all seriousness, I want a drink is damn near the top of his mind.]

[Smoothing his hair, he clears his throat and starts towards the nearest bar.]

Hey, uh. Thanks.

[doesntsing]

You’re welcome.

[ She’s not going to make him say what he’s thanking her for. A guy like him probably feels emasculated enough after his reaction to getting stuck in the elevator. The fear is real, and Midge doesn’t think less of him for it. She was pretty scared herself towards the end of it.

The hotel bar isn’t a far walk from the lobby. When they arrive, it’s full of soldiers, mostly men, who smile at her and tip their hats with murmurings of ‘Mrs. Maisel’ as she and Hawkeye walk by. Midge knew she was coming to a place filled with men, but being constantly surrounded by them, many of them hitting on her in one way or another, wasn’t something she had prepared for.

They sit at the bar and Midge orders a martini before turning back to Hawkeye. ]

Are you on call?

[getmeoutofthedraft]

I'm on leave.

[He says it like it should be obvious - which, to be fair, it kind of is. MASH doctors don't usually get the chance to get stuck in a hotel elevator unless something is up.]

[He orders himself a martini, too - "Dry, dryer, driest - and leans his elbow on the bartop, flopping his cheek onto his hand.]

R&R, my ass. I better get back to the front lines, it's safer.

[doesntsing]

[ She nods seriously. ]

No elevators there.

[ They’re not going to talk about the war, at least not the visceral part of it. Part of the point of her being here is to help people forget about it, even if only for a few hours. ]

Where did you say you were from? Maine?

[getmeoutofthedraft]

[It's exactly the right question. If there's one thing that always picks Hawkeye up - even while making him melancholy - it's talking about home.]

[He nods.]

Little town called Crabapple Cove, just up by the Androscoggin. I was working at the hospital there when the draft board came knocking.

No elevators round there, either. Pretty sure they only invented the wheel a couple years back.

[doesntsing]

You’re probably right. [ No offense to his small town, but she’s been to ones like it and… yeah. ] I’ve been to Maine before, but never there. [ Midge ventures that most people haven’t been there.

The bartender brings their martinis and Midge takes a sip of hers. ]

I’m from Manhattan.

[getmeoutofthedraft]

[He pulls a face. Full offence to her big city, but he'd rather die.]

The Rotten Apple, huh?

You wouldn't get me out there. Not for a full honourable discharge and a lifetime pension. Chicago was bad enough.

[doesntsing]

That’s alright. New York’s already got enough bad comedians.

[ She loves her city. It’s not perfect. New Yorkers will be the first people to criticize something about the place. Other people aren’t allowed to say a bad word about it though. ]

Chicago is pretty bad though. Can you believe they call that pizza?

[getmeoutofthedraft]

Oh, Jesus, you mean Uno's? Yeah, that's an abomination.

But the ribs on Dearborn? God. Makes up for the mushy pie.

[doesntsing]

[ She nods seriously. ] I feel bad that they’ll never know good pizza.

Depends. Are you talking beef ribs or pork ribs?

[ One is Kosher and one isn’t. ]

[getmeoutofthedraft]

They did both, I'm pretty sure. It's been a long time, but... yeah, I think both?

It was the sauce, though. God, you've got no idea how good it smelled. Ambrosia.

And none of it - none of it - was creamed. [After two years with Igor's mess tent cooking, the value of un-creamed food can't be overstated.]

[doesntsing]

I can have beef. I’m not supposed to have pork.

[ Meaning bacon is good and she sneaks a few pieces sometimes.

Midge makes a face at the word creamed. ]

Like creamed corn? I guess I should be glad that the USO is feeding me well. Nothing creamed.

[getmeoutofthedraft]

Creamed corn, creamed potatoes, creamed peas, creamed chicken... If Igor sees a chance to cream something, he creams himself.

[He pulls a face, taking a long drink of his own martini, and visibly relaxes.]

You've got no idea what I'd give to be a performer, instead of a doctor. They'd never treat Larry Fine like this.

[doesntsing]

You can borrow one of my dresses if you’d like.

[ They’ve had this conversation before. Truth be told, Hawkeye’s much more valuable to the Army as a surgeon, so that’s where they’re going to keep him. ]

Larry Fine would bankrupt the Army at the cards table within a week.

[getmeoutofthedraft]

[He pouts.]

I'm doing my best, but the generals won't play with me any more.

[doesntsing]

What do you have the poker face of steel or something? [ Midge can’t see it. He likes to joke too much. ] I’d suggest bleeding the Army dry by wasting medical supplies, but it seems irresponsible.

[getmeoutofthedraft]

You're an optimist. They don't even send us the medical supplies we're not wasting, half the time.

Wish I still thought you could bleed the Army dry by tugging on their conscience.

[doesntsing]

Even I know that won’t work. [ Midge eats the olive out of her drink. ] You don’t agree with the war?

[getmeoutofthedraft]

[He scoffs.]

Pretty hard to agree with pulling shrapnel out of kids seven days a week, wouldn't you say? You can pass that on to the House Committee, too. Pass it to Ike if you want, he's not answering my letters.

[doesntsing]

Can’t say I know Ike personally. [ Midge shrugs. ] Didn’t even vote for him either.

Is everyone here miserable and just trying to put on a happy face?

[getmeoutofthedraft]

Not at all. Some of them are raving psychopaths.

Cw: smoking, I can edit if necessary

[doesntsing]

[ She hums in her throat. ]

I’d prefer not to meet them if I can help it.

[ Even though she’s finally starting to calm down from their ordeal, a cigarette would be really great right about now. Midge pulls a silver cigarette case and lighter out of her purse. Opening the case, she takes out one of the cigarettes and puts it to her lips. She offers the case to Hawkeye as she lights up and inhales. ]

Do you think it’s stupid that I’m here? Trying to tell jokes?

[getmeoutofthedraft]

[Hawkeye shakes his head. He has a lot of vices, but that isn't one of them.]

[Though, speaking of vices... He drains the rest of his martini, signalling for another round.]

[As for her question, it would be easy to give a sharp, meaningless answer, probably something unkind. He doesn't. He owes her better than that. There's a moment of genuine consideration before he answers, and the answer is serious.]

No. I think...

I think it helps. Hell, outside of the meatcutting, it's most of what I've been doing for the past two years. And I'll say it, you've got a better set than me.

[Whatever he owes her, he can't quite resist a cheap shot:]

Jokes are pretty good, too.

[And right back to serious:] I don't know if it's going to make any real change. But it sure as shit helped me just now.

[doesntsing]

[ Midge blows out a small cloud of smoke. She’s glad to get a serious answer because she had asked the question seriously. Of course he has to throw something mildly offensive in as well. ]

My set is impeccable. [ Deadpan. And yes, they’re talking about the same thing. ]

Thank you. I don’t expect jokes to reunify Korea, but if these guys get to laugh for an hour or so, then I’m glad I’m here.

[ Her eyes meet his. ] The jokes worked better than trying to distract you with my feminine wiles.