bakerstreet | Caffeinate me

Caffeinate me

☕THE CAFE MEME☕

The weather is getting cold and what's better for batting off that chill than a nice hot beverage in a place with comfy chairs and a barista who knows your favourite combo?

☕PROMPTS☕

1) Customer. You spent ages choosing your drink, lining up for it and now there are no more tables. Great. As a result, you have to look for somewhere to sit while balancing that tray laden with your drink of choice and tasty pastry in your hands. Looks like you've got no other choice than to ask that person with the spare seat at their table.

2) Barista. An employee of this fine establishment, if nothing else, knows how to brew coffee. We hope. Maybe you're the best barista in the world. Or maybe you barely know how the machine works and instead make up for it by coming up with hilarious names on people's paper cups. Either way, you work here and go through the daily grind.

3) Student. It's no secret that students congregate in droves towards coffee shops for a combination of free wifi and caffeine. Whether in a group or on your own, the laptops and papers are out in full force. Whether any work is actually getting done is another question.

4) Early Morning Rush. It's first thing and you're crabby. All you want is your coffee and you will kick, punch and claw your way for that cup of black gold. And it looks like you're not the only one feeling this way. Are you going to let that person stealthily cut in front of you?!

5) Not A Coffee Person. Maybe you just want to try coffee for the first time. Or you're a tea drinker who is rethinking their views on coffee. You're canvassing for opinions, and that can range from outright asking other customers to hovering over tables to monopolizing the barista for a good 5 minutes, holding up the line.

6) Coffee Date. Asking people out to a coffee is the easiest thing in the world. Or is it? Whether it's with a friend or something more romantic, a coffee date is a good opportunity to connect with people and talk about whatever comes to mind.

7) Late Nights. The evening sky is dark and there's hardly anybody left in the coffee shop. Closing time is not for a while yet, but a stillness has settled over everyone. It's that time of night where anything can happen.

8) Free For All. Or if all else fails, just make your own scenario!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[She smiles at MJ - how nice of the young barista! But thumb-taps out again.]

Not hearing impaired, situationally mute. Thank you for the consideration!

Whole would be great - it's looking like a calorie burning day.

[Situationally mute. Huh. That's not one that MJ's had any personal experience with before. But if she claims she can hear her....

She manages another customer service smile to show that she understands before moving towards the coffee station to begin preparing the order.]

Can't tell if that's a good or bad thing, but you've got it.

[Yeah, she gets that a lot. She smiles back, a bit wryly. Since MJ isn't directly facing her she cups her hand over her mouth and says, carefully]

The job involves a lot of running. Some screaming. Occasional gunfire.

[The fact that this customer only speaks when MJ's back is turned and then chooses to say that is a bit jarring, but she focuses on her tasks and hopes this isn't just a really weird preface to a hold-up or something.]

Uh... sounds like an interesting gig. Cop?

[She didn't want to hold the phone out while MJ was busy!]

Agent of a small, obscure government agency.

[Which explains the bad suit?]

Ah. I'm assuming not one of the clandestine ones ones that can get random civilians killed just by knowing about it, since presumably you wouldn't tell me about it. I'd hope.

No. No, not that kind. One of the weird, obscure ones that nobody believes in unless we've saved their asses - and even then it's only fifty-fifty.

[She pockets a handful of something, and smiles wryly again.]

Mm. There seem to be a lot of those. It's hard to be surprised anymore.

[She glances back at her for a moment before returning to her work.]

How weird are we talking?

We, [sigh] protect the world from fairy tales.

[She does not expect to be believed.]

[She scoffs before she can really help it, though she at least manages to stifle it before she can get carried away.]

Fairy tales. Like the big bad wolf? Or like actual faerie folk from European folklore?

Ever heard the one about the sour old widow with two daughters, one of whom had jewels, pearls, and flowers fall out of her mouth with every word?

[There's something almost bitter in the question. Almost bitter - she's good at hiding it.]

Fairy tales want to be true. No matter who they hurt.

[MJ's pretty observant, especially when it comes to any customer interactions beyond the standard "have a nice day" pleasantries. So that seems like an oddly specific example from a fairy tale to bring up.]

Can't say that I'm familiar with that one, no. It doesn't sound like a Grimm or Andersen. But unless you're talking about something going back to oral traditions, I don't see how a fictional story can have enough agency to want to be true, at least not without a whole lot of magic being involved.

[Which is entirely possible, but she doesn't say as much as she turns around, sliding the completed drink across the counter as she rings it up at the register.]

[She waits until MJ is turned back to her, taking the cup, and saying distinctly]

Thank you very much.

[Two rubies, a pearl, and an orchid blossom fall from her lips.]

I did say that it's rare people believe us.

[That's four more pearls, a couple of daisies, and a moonstone. Sometimes she can control it. Not bothering right now.]

[She catches movement out of the corner of her eye as she rings up the order on the register, pausing with a small frown before slowly turning her gaze back towards the customer. What the...?

She slowly looks up at her, not sure what to make of what she'd just seen.]

Uh... what was that?

Memetic Incursion Type 480 - The Kind and Unkind Girls.

[More jewels, pearls, and flowers fall from her mouth.]

I'm the lucky one. My brother got snakes and toads.

[There's that bitterness in full force.]

I-... what?

[She knows all of those words individually, but they aren't quite hitting home when all strung together like that.]

Sorry, wait, are you trying to say that you're part of a fairy tale? Or that you were cursed or something?

I am part of a fairytale.

[Three emeralds, two pearls, and fairytale parses as an agate the size of a robin's egg. She continues in a veritable flood of flowers and pearls,]

Technically I got the blessing. My brother got the curse.

[MJ's seen a lot of weirdness, but this is a different brand of weird and she's not entirely sure how to react to it, trying not to stare at the stuff coming out of this woman's mouth.]

Well... I guess that would depend on whether he knows anybody who really like reptiles and amphibians.

Poisonous and venomous. He used to talk in his sleep.

[She takes a deep breath, and types (it hurts too much to say)]

He had his vocal cords surgically cut.

[MJ frowns softly when she reads that.]

Ah... I'm just going to stop talking.

[And... maybe stop talking about talking as she rings up the transaction.]

Sorry. For what it's worth.

Not your fault.

[She pulls cash out, and a hefty tip. It's an apology for the whole...thing.]

Keep the gems.

[Honestly, she's about to cancel out the transaction and tell her to forget about payment altogether, but the offer of keeping the gems takes her by surprise, and she instinctively shakes her head.]

Hey, no. Those are yours. Like, literally yours. They came out of you. You should at least make use out of them.

[She laughs at that]

Trust me, I have tons of them. Guess where my obscure government agency gets a good half of it's funding from.

How have you not singlehandedly wrecked the economy?

[If she can just fling precious gems around as payment, their value would have diminished ages ago and there wouldn't be so many articles whining about the younger generations no longer buying diamonds.]

About three quarters of them are semi-precious, and the rest are usually pretty small.

[Answer: she doesn't use them as payment. She has a credit card for the drink, she's just not...worried about what's left behind.]

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