bakerstreet | Insomnia

Insomnia

the i n s o m n i a meme
It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they?

i n s t r u c t i o n s
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o p t i o n s

01 • FEAR.

Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet.

02 • HUNGER.

Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops.

03 • PAIN.

Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it.

04 • SOLITUDE.

For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them...

05 • DISCOMFORT.

Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort.

06 • PENSIVE.

Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help?

07 • SADNESS.

Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on.

08 • ANGER.

You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them.

09 • RESTLESS.

You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you.

10 • WILDCARD.

Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario.

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[He shakes his head at the apology, waving it off. There's the faintest smile on his face, like he's saying not to worry about it. Clearly he isn't angry. If he is, he's far too sleepy to show it.]

I'm up. I'll sit with you. [Pause.] If you want the company?

[Maybe Loki just needs time alone? And that's the reason why he slipped out of bed like that? Mobius isn't really looking into it. He's not annoyed or upset either. Brain too foggy and slow thanks to the exhaustion of another busy work cycle.]

Can always take my tea back to bed too.

[That’s just it, isn’t it? Loki always wants his company. Maybe a little too much.]

I don’t want you to go. [The words come out almost too quickly with an edge of desperation he wishes wasn’t there. There’s a pause before he continues, lamely trying to save face.] But I do not want to be the one responsible for you getting ill from lack of sleep.

[Loki sighs and rubs a hand over his tired face. Part of him knows he needs to clear the air, needs to talk to Mobius or he’ll never sleep again, but honestly he’s scared. He’s never lived with anyone before, never been in this kind of relationship before and he really has no idea what he’s doing.

Taking a deep breath, he puts the tea on the table in the little kitchen, allowing it to steep as he takes a seat.]

I am truly sorry for waking you. I am afraid it is just me overthinking things again.

[If Loki doesn't want him to go... then... what does he want? Mobius stands in at the entrance to the kitchen, mouth screwed into a frown, just watching him fret about with the tea-making.]

Don't hafta worry about me. You've been gettin' up a lot lately. [Did you think he wouldn't notice, Loki? He isn't exactly a sound sleeper himself most times...]

We can talk about it. [He's already padding his way over to his usual chair, pulling it away from the table to take a seat. There's no way the conversation can be avoided at this point.] That's what I'm here for. Or... I can listen? If you just wanna get it off your chest. Whatever you want, okay?

[Well isn’t that the question of all questions? What exactly does he want? In short, everything. He wants Mobius, wants him to stay even if Loki is a bit of a prick. He wants to be better, to be worthy. To not mess this up. Gods does he not want to mess this up. But Loki doesn’t even know if that’s possible. He’s already waking Mobius up in the middle of the night, was it that much of a stretch to think he might do worse?]

You noticed? [Because yes, he did think. Or hoped at least.] I am sorry. The last thing I wanted was to disturb you.

[Loki watches Mobius uncertainly as he approaches the table. It’s not like he thinks Mobius would lie to him. He knows he means what he says, or at least he does in as much as he can without knowing all the crap running through Loki’s head.]

I suppose I am just worried. I keep thinking I will do something wrong. That is typically how things go for me, after all. There is a reason why I’ve never done this before. [Loki gestures between the two of them indicating their relationship.]

I notice everything, Lokes. [He smiles when he says it, so it mustn't be that bad. A bit hyperbole more than anything else - because yes, even the great Mobius M. Mobius can be oblivious at times. Most times, actually. He just happens to be quite good at observing his partner once his suspicions have been aroused. Repeatedly waking up like this is enough evidence that something's going on, and now he's on the case.

Once he's seated and comfortable, an elbow comes to rests on the table and Mobius leans in to prop his chin up in his hand. Regarding Loki with a still-sleepy look in his eyes, yes, but he's here and he's somewhat awake and ready for this chat. The tea should help once it's steeped properly.]

Mm. [He gives a slight nod, then stifles a yawn.] Yeah I can understand that. [Give him a second. He clears his throat.]

But - y'know... I haven't done it either. [The relationship thing. He mirrors Loki's gesture with his free hand.] It's a learning experience for both'a us I think.

[And then both elbows are on the table and he's cradling his chin in both hands.] I got no complaints if that's what you're worried about, sweetheart. [There's another smily, a rather dreamy-looking one that's soft around the edges.]

[Loki can’t help but huff out a small laugh at that. He makes like he’s coughing into his hand to cover it. Because he does, doesn’t he? Loki doesn’t know how it happened, not fully, but Mobius sees him like no one else. He doesn’t even think Frigga knew him so well.

As Mobius gets settled, Loki finds himself fidgeting with anything and everything in front of him as he waits to hear what Mobius has to say. He knows how unsettled, how worried he’s been about all of this recently, but somehow waiting for Mobius’ response is the worst of it.

When Mobius does finally say something, Loki’s eyes flick up to look at his face, as if he needs to assess him to make sure he’s not just saying that to make him feel better. Or something equally as strange.]

You haven’t done this before? [Loki is legitimately surprised.] But everyone likes you. Even Renslayer likes you.

[Oh but that look does help. Loki feels himself melt a little bit. He feels his cheeks heat a bit as he covers another laugh and looks away, enjoying the praise and yet feeling a little uncomfortable at the same time.] None at all? I find that hard to believe.

[No, he hasn't done this. Mobius shakes his head at the question.]

Just because I'm a likable guy doesn't mean I've had luck in love, Lokes. [Did he just say the L-word? Yeah. And he doesn't realize it until it's slipped. Oh well - too late to take it back. Time to cover it up with more yapping.] This sort of thing is frowned upon in the Employee Guidelines anyway, so I haven't made it much of a priority until now.

[Did it work? Hopefully it did. He's looking rather uneasy - at least just enough to be noticeable.]

Why's that? 'mnot trying to butter you up or anything. This is the best I've felt... [He trails off, thinking about it as he sits back against his chair.] Ever, I guess?

[Loki’s heart stops in his chest at the mention of love. He quickly recovers, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Mobius noticed the surprise on his face.

Of course it must just be a turn of phrase though, right? Mobius didn’t actually mean he loves him. Love requires trust and no one as smart as Mobius would think they could truly trust him.

Loki wants that though. He wants Mobius to be able to trust him. Wants his own feelings reciprocated even if he feels like he doesn’t deserve it.]

I admit, I am surprised you would break the rules for me. When we first met, you seemed to much enjoy following the rules. [Loki bows his head and smiles to himself. Maybe it hadn’t been a mistake. Maybe Mobius did… love him.]

Why’s that? I suppose because I annoy most people. I am not unaware of my reputation, after all. I am glad you feel well though. It… well I suppose it makes me happy when you are happy.

[If Mobius noticed, he's not letting on that he did. Not one bit. What a poker face he's got.

He nods at Loki's words, biting back a smile of his own at the idea of following the rules.]

Yeah, well... I was kinda uptight back then wasn't I?

[He makes a face, his nose scrunching some in disdain. He talks like it was such a long time ago. Ancient history, even.

Resting one of his arms on the table, he extends his hand Loki's way. Silently offering for him to take hold of it.]

I think I've learned you're worth the risk, Lokes. What's a little rule-bendin' huh? [He finally smiles.]

[That is actually something Loki mostly agrees with. To him, it takes quite a lot to make Mobius crack. It’s something that has always impressed him.]

I think some might say you’re still a bit uptight, but I like to think that they just don’t know you very well.

[In fact, Loki believes that maybe Mobius has always had a bit of a love for mischief. It would certainly explain how he became the resident Loki expert.

There’s the slightest bit of hesitation before Loki reaches out to take the offered hand. Mobius feels warm against his slightly cooler skin and he can’t help but enjoy the feeling.]

To me, nothing, but I know how much this place means to you. How much your work means to you. Even if I think the whole thing needs an overhaul. [Loki smiles in return, unable to look away from those bright blue eyes and how they seem to read him so easily. He feels seen in a way he never thought would be possible and it makes him feel uncharacteristically shy, even as he squeezes Mobius’ hand gently.]

[And here's the eye roll! But it's only a slight one, just enough to be playful with.]

You might be onto somethin' there, yeah. [Come to think of it - Loki... probably... knows much more about him at this point. Yeah. He considers this for a few moments, then silently nods his head.

He wiggles his fingers some, trying to draw attention to his dreadfully lonely hand as it sits on the table between them.]

You might be right about that too. The whole overhaul thing.

[But that's neither here nor there at the moment. There are more pressing matters to address!!

Once Loki takes hold of his hand, Mobius can breathe a sigh of relief. He wastes no time lacing their fingers together, and he grins at the way Loki squeezes his hand.]

Doin' better now? Just a little? [He lifts their joined hands, pressing a light kiss to the back of his partner's.]

[The eye roll causes a smirk to pull at Loki’s lips. Everyone around this place might think he’s a bit too uptight, and they would all be wrong. They just hadn’t bothered to get to know Mobius. His smile only widens when he sees Mobius wriggle his fingers.

Who knew that holding hands could be so delightful?]

Of course I’m right. I’m always right. I know you know that. [He’s already speaking before his brain catches up with his mouth and he realizes the totality of what Mobius has said.]

You… agree with the overhaul? [He sounds incredulous.

The feeling of Mobius’ warm hand squeezing around his own feels nicer than Loki ever could’ve imagined. It’s a sign, along with Mobius asking him if he was feeling better, that shows he really cares. Something Loki had thought impossible when it came to him until very recently.

His heart flutters at the kiss and he hangs his head to hide both his smile and his blush.]

Yes, I am feeling a little better. I am truly sorry I woke you for such trivial things. I do appreciate you listening though.

[He nods at that. Several times, actually. A smile still on his face as they hold hands. Of course Loki is always right, and of course he knows that.]

Well - aspects of the overhaul, yeah. Some of the ideas are intriguing enough. But I'm sure we can have a more nuanced discussion about it at some other time. [When they're not sharing an intimate chat session in the kitchen and waiting on tea.]

No need to apologize. [Loki gets another kiss to his hand - since it's currently being held hostage (affectionately).] I'm happy to listen, and I'm glad we could hash this out together.

Y'still want tea? [He sits up straighter in his chair, peeking over at the kettle on the stove as steam begins to creep out from the spout.]

[A part of Loki knew that Mobius would agree, but at the same time, he is also skeptical that he truly believes all of that. It is part of their schtick, isn’t it? That they both make bold claims and tease each other? Though as he looks across the table at the other man, he also sees that Mobius is telling the truth as well. And that realization fills his chest with something akin to happiness and love.]

I’d like that. [His voice comes out hushed, almost reverent. Loki knows he can be a pain and as such, people don’t often listen to him even when he is actually trying to help. The fact that Mobius is willing to listen is as much or more than the gentle kiss to his hand.]

I admit I am not used to this. [What he really means is he’s not used to deserving this, but he suspects Mobius might already understand that.

Loki startles at the mention of the tea, having completely forgotten. Mobius really is so very distracting.] I suppose, if you do. [Loki would honestly be just as happy to go back to bed and wrap himself around the other man, hoping he’ll never have to let him go.]

We can make it happen! Promise. [Mobius is so earnest about it, nearly forgetting to keep his voice down to a hush. It's supposed to be night time, their brief rest period between work. But despite it all, he's rather awake, his energy renewed from having such an intimate conversation with his love.]

Me neither. [Pause.] But it's nice. [He chuckles softly, suddenly shy.] I think it's nice... [He nods once, twice. Yeah. It's nice.]

'Course. [A smile.] Have a few sips, get nice and warm. Then it's back to bed, yeah? [Because he won't be able to say no to cuddling up either. But they might as well since the water's boiling already...]

Here. Lemme get it. [Mobius gives Loki's hand a squeeze before finally letting go. Getting up from his chair, he doesn't move past where Loki sits without dropping a kiss to his hair along the way. Pouring the tea for them both is the least he can do, especially since his partner's been having such a restless time. He enjoys doting, and he does it with a spring in his step while humming softly to himself.]

Do you really think so? Are there others that feel the same? [Loki won’t even pretend to know what others at the TVA think, except maybe their mutual dislike for him. But maybe they have a common goal?

For maybe the first time that night, Loki smiles. Mobius’ slight hesitance is so purely him, Loki can’t help but love it. And him.] I agree. It is definitely nice. But maybe I think everything with you is nice.

Loki nods in response. He’s about to get up to get the tea when Mobius suddenly offers and is up before Loki can even move. Somehow the doting, the soft kisses, all the small little things add up to so much. It means more to him than he ever thought possible. “Thank you. And not just for the tea.”

There might be. Best we can do is have a little hope. [He isn't speaking in definites, but at least he's maintaining an air of optimism. That's also so like Mobius.]

I've heard I'm a pretty nice guy so I guess that checks out. [Loki gets a playful little grin at that. It's almost like he's pretending to preen from the compliment. There's a definite sway in his step - anything to show off on his way to the stove. Keep it light and fun.]

It's my pleasure. Really. [Mobius checks the containers of tea, rifling around for something that's considered the sleepiest type. (He's never been much of a tea guy, but Loki's converted him. Now he's hoarding whatever he can find in his room.) He pours the hot water from the kettle into their mugs, humming softly as he watches the water darken from the tea bags.]

Here ya go, sweetheart. [He says once he's carrying the mugs back over to the table.] Let it steep a little.

[He sets one down right in front of Loki, not forgetting to press another soft kiss to his hair before settling back down in his chair. Mobius starts blowing on his tea as soon as he can.]

[Hope isn’t something that comes naturally to Loki. All his life he’s had to plot and scheme to get anything he wanted or needed. Or at least that is how it has always felt. With Mobius by his side though, maybe he can risk this hope thing. He only nods in response, not really knowing if he could voice that yet.]

Hmm, perhaps. Things with you are nice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are nice. After all, there must be something less than nice about you if you like me. [Despite the slight self-deprecation in that, Loki smiles genuinely. He’s both teasing and means it.

Loki takes a moment to just watch Mobius work. Moving around the kitchen as he prepares their tea. Sometimes he thinks he’d be happy just watching Mobius do about anything. He blushes slightly at being called ‘sweetheart’ and looks down into his tea, a small smile on his face.]

I don’t know if it’s sweet, but I am glad you think so. And thank you again.

We all have our deep, dark secrets. [There's a playful lilt when he says this. Loki is right, and they both know it. Sure, Mobius is nice, but that would be rather two-dimensional now wouldn't it? He's only human.]

No no - it's pretty sweet. I have it on good authority. [And he lifts up his mug, taking a cautious first sip to make sure he doesn't scald his mouth.

...There's minor flinching - perhaps it's still too hot - but he doesn't complain. Just waits a moment before trying again. The second attempt is more successful, and then he's blowing on the tea some more between the sips after that, enjoying the feeling of the warm mug in his hands.]

Is that so? [Loki doubts very much that Mobius has anything that dark in his past. He just seems like too good of a person for anything like that. Someone that’s willing to give the likes of him a second chance can’t possibly have anything quite that dark looming over them. Not to say Mobius is all sunshine and light, Loki just can’t really imagine him doing anything truly bad.

Mobius’ next words take Loki even more by surprise.] Oh? And whose authority is that? [He laughs a little incredulously at the thought that someone else might agree with Mobius on the topic of Loki’s heart. He’s pretty sure more people think of him the way B-15 does.

Loki shakes his head, still smiling as he takes a sip of his own tea. It is quite hot, but he likes it. He might be a little biased about anything Mobius does though.]

Mmhm! [Just a rather cheerful noise of agreement between sips of too-hot tea. The most disarming sort of duality, really, once one takes the time to think about it. If Loki is even taking said time to try and consider. Everyone has their secrets, their scar tissue - even honored senior analysts like this guy right here. There's always rain before the rainbow.]

Mine. [He grins, gesturing towards himself with his mug. No one else has even bothered trying to know Loki (or Lokis in general) as well as Mobius has. So yes - he's the authority here. And he's feeling rather smug about it.]

I'm the expert here, remember? [Loki gets a playful wink with that comment.]

[Loki raises a skeptical eyebrow.] I am not naive, I know that many if not most people have some darkness in their past, but it must pale in comparison to… certain others. [Loki is actually aware that Mobius isn’t all good. It’s partly why he likes him so much, but whatever skeletons are in his closet, Loki can’t imagine they come even marginally close to the awfulness Loki has managed to spread in his life. It’s not exactly a competition he’s happy to win, but that doesn’t change the facts.]

And you think the others will allow you to simply do as you please when it comes to me? [Loki is actually really touched that Mobius would stand up for him like that, and has already done just that in a number of ways. He also just thinks he’ll run out of rope eventually.]

Yeah, yeah... minor technicalities... [Mobius sips at his mug, gives a shrug of his shoulders. Everything is technicalities. Everything is context and open to subjectivity.]

To a point, yeah. [Said with the utmost optimism.] I'll fight if I have to. Do everything I can. [He's already fought this much for Loki, what's a little more? Or a lot more? The analyst stands by everything he's promised, and he has more than enough to back it up.]

You worry too much. [The slightest chuckle.] That causes lines y'know. [And there's the joke, the attempt to lighten the mood.]

[And that, he thinks, is why they get along so well. Mobius might seem like the uptight company man, but when he sees something he wants, he finds a way to make it happen. Even if he has to bend the rules a little bit.

What’s more surprising is that Mobius continues to fight for him, even after everything he’s done. Even if Mobius is willing to bend the rules, he must have a breaking point.

Though really, which how their relationship has evolved Loki suspects his morals might be more flexible than he initially believed. In turn, Loki does not plan on trying to see how far he can push him. It’s too much of a risk and he’s not willing to screw up what they have now.]

I still have perfectly youthful skin, thank you very much. I’ll have you know I am the equivalent of about twenty-three of your years. I will not see a wrinkle for centuries to come.

[He huffs slightly, but there’s a glint of amusement in his eyes that shows he got the joke and is running with it.]

[While they sit and sip at their tea, one of Mobius's hands creeps back across the table top, seeking out one of Loki's. He can spare it! They only need one each for their mugs which frees up the other for plenty of holding. If he doesn't get what he wants, he'll just keep poking and prodding until he can lace their fingers together again.]

Well. You look great for your age. [A little grin.] You're the most gorgeous person I know, actually.

Insomnia

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Sorry for the delay!

sorry for mine too! but i'm here!!

No problem!

:D

I can’t believe I switched styles mid post and didn’t realize…

it happens to all of us!!

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i'm alive i swear!!

So am I, barely!

december really... decembered lol

And how!

:)

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