swipe swipe swipe

[lowlaw]

the tinder meme Maybe you can't find a date. Maybe you don't want to find a date. Maybe this whole thing was set up by your well-meaning friends, or your prank-playing enemies, or your over-involved mother. Whatever the reason, you're on a swipe-based dating system. Call it tinder, cuddlr, e-harmony but for shallow assholes... you're on it. What's the worst that could happen?

FORMATTING
<center><table style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 2;"><tr><td width="260" align="center"><img src="IMG URL HERE" style="width: 245px; border-radius: 15px; border: 1px solid #7F7F7F; box-shadow: #8D8D8D 1px 1px 1px;"><br /><b><big><big>CHARACTER NAME (CHARACTER AGE)</big></big></b><br><div align="justify"> CHARACTER BIO <br><tr><td><center><span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span> <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span></div></center></td></tr></td></tr></table></center>

Comments

Valentine of Hearts | Derpixon | OTA

[valentine_of_hearts]

Valentine (25) Big girl with a big heart, here to fuck your brains out. I'm a lawyer, but my real passions are sports and games of chance. Any gender or species welcome as long as you're legal!

✓ ✕

[legitlessgrump]

More forward than I was expecting. Makes things easier though.

Angel Dust | Hazbin Hotel | (m/m for any smut)

[harderdaddy]

Angel Dust (30s/100s??) Looking for a private show with your favourite porn star? Numbers are down so we're trying this shit out now. It's cash upfront Parties of 3 or more cost extra No distribution of any personal filmed content or you deal with Val/VoxTek

✓ ✕

Kyon - Haruhi Suzumiya Series - OTA

[kyonichero]

JOHN SMITHKYON (16) Average high-schooler. Member of the SOS Brigade, menial tasks. Slightly snarky, but who doesn't love that?

✓ ✕

Stelle | Honkai Star Rail | F/F

[destroyersrow]

GALACTIC BASEBALLER (19ISH I THINK?) "the crack of the bat. the scent of fresh garbage. The excitement of the trailblazers. These are the things that piss the anti matter legion off the most" interstellar adventurer and woman of mystery (not a bit). interests include sports, video games, travel, dumpster diving, mixology. if you're a girl looking for a little (or lot of) excitement in your life, the galactic baseballer can provide

✓ ✕

[chasingthefire]

I'm not sure that's your best picture, but... it's charming!

What kind of video games are you into? Silver Wolf tells me I'm not very good at them, but maybe we could play together one day (✿◠‿◠)

MJ | MCU | OTA

[neverdisappointed]

Michelle (18) "The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions." Bring your brains, leave your egos Capitalists and assholes and capitalistic assholes need not apply

✓ ✕

[tedandroses]

Careful, comrade, you're gonna summon the anarcho-nihilists with that Nietzsche and they never read the "no assholes" sign (possibly on principle).

Actually that seems like a caveat no one it applied to would read: does it actually work?

mercury black || rwby || ota

[sarcaskick]

Mercury (21) Here for a good time, not a long time, but honestly still having a pretty shitty time anyway. Let's have a wild kickass night then forget each other's names and never talk again.

✓ ✕

Claire Bennet ∞ Heroes ∞ OTA

[infinite1ups]

Claire (69) Ha, I put my age as the funny sex number. I bet no one's done that before. I got dared to do this so here I am.

✓ ✕

chai || hi-fi rush || ota

[trashmetal]

Chai (25) Rockstar in the making with a kickass robot arm, can't stop won't stop! Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

✓ ✕

[ohihateyou]

I just really needed to know if I had a stroke halfway through that, or if you did.

sanjiro kawanari | oc | m/f

[personalprotection]

Sanjiro Kawanari (35) I’m a professional Bodyguard and I’m also a great cook. Pretty outgoing and active, have traveled quite a bit and seen a lot of the world.

✓ ✕

Dal — original — m/m

[safesex]

Dal (23) night owl. coffee drinker. enjoys drawing people. good listener. might fall for you if you buy me pizza.

✓ ✕

Matthias — original — ota

[thedevilsaid]

Matthias (old enough) I heard you like bad boys. Guess what? I'm bad at everything.

✓ ✕

don | loki | ota.

[dadstance]

Don (53) I enjoy long walks on the beach and sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them. 🏖️ Preferably from a tiki mug. 🍹 Looking for someone who enjoys the outdoors, good food, and a good time!

✓ ✕

I had too

[lingeringinshadows]

✓
53, huh? You never mentioned that.

[ He's the worst, absolute worst. ]

morticia addams | the addams family (90s) | i am so sorry for everything i choose to be

[gothmother]

MORTICIA ADDAMS (49) We did, indeed, "see you from across the bar and we really dug your vibe." How do you feel about digging graves?

✓ ✕

I had to, shes amazing.

[holiestlove]

I am not the most fond of digging graves, but it does help the roses grow. There is a certain beauty in the decay.

Jonathan Harker || Dracula AU || OTA

[holiestlove]

Jonathan (22) Widower, photographer, movie buff, and cryptid curious. Not looking for a lot. Just a connection.

✓ ✕

[ Sure, his wife 'died' over a 100 years ago and is probably still walking around. But he will always love her. He's looking for dinner. ]

✓

[dangernoodle]

favorite cryptid?

James Cooper — original — ota

[rhythmicalcomposition]

James (54) I'm the kind of guy you can take home to meet your mom. She'll think I'm charming and kind. And maybe a little bit sexy. She'll fall in love with me. I think I feel the same. We get married. I'm your dad now. I confront you. "Young lady/man why do you have a Tinder account?" You're grounded.

✓       ✕

is there a ? option

[dadstance]

This has such threatening energy and I'm not sure how to feel about that?

Annie January | The Boys

[januarystar]

Annie January (28) Former member of The Seven turned children’s advocate. Kind, sympathetic, sort of a smartass. Don’t pay attention to the news; they either tell half of the story or pure lies.

✓ ✕

henriette berg-knutholm | original character | ota, f/f pref

[bloksbjerg]

HENRIETTE BERG-KNUTHOLM (41) I could put a spell on you.

✓ ✕

Chell | Portal | OTA

[aperturesubject0001]

CHELL ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ (27?) SEEKING: ♀️/♂️/⚧️/🍰 LIKES: Puzzles, the outdoors, parkour DISLIKES: Timed tests, baked beans, bad listeners I'm good with my hands 🤟🏻 Let's go for a run and practice sign together! 01001110 01001111 00100000 01000010 01001111 01010100 01010011

✓ ✕

[combat_ready]

Do androids count as bots?

kimiko miyashiro | the boys | f/m

[fpdg]

KIMIKO MIYASHIRO (30) Hi! I like old movies, roller coasters and origami.

✓ ✕

✓

[pinball]

whats the tallest roller coaster u been on

P | Lies of P | OTA

[wasiagoodson]

P (17?) New to this. New to a lot of things. I enjoy riddles, and I'm a decent swordsman. Good at listening. A friend told me this is a good place to find more friends.

✓ ✕

matt jamison | disaster witch | ota

[semicharmed]

[ This profile is honestly one big red flag. Most of the images aren't actually of a person:

1 | 2 | 3 | and a semi-artistic thirst trap

Taken together, sans thirst trap, they depict a local bar, one of their demi-famous sazeracs, and a local band that does monthly gigs there. You could actually track Matt down at the next Trauma Vampire show, if you were so inclined and not put off by the fact that you had to solve a goddamn riddle. ]

Matt Jamison (25) Elle était fort déshabillée Et de grands arbres indiscrets Aux vitres jetaient leur feuillée Malinement, tout près, tout près.

✓ ✕

[ ooc: Yes there's an action prompt in the Tinder meme, I'm broken. Need some character info? PSL prefs? I gotchu fam. ]

[escardos]

[ flat, who is probably browsing tinder for the sake of curiosity and not for any actual desire for a fling can’t help but— ]

wow congrats on making the most desperate looking profile i’ve seen in a while! it’s like a ward against potential partners!

Skadi | Arknights | ota

[orcaestral]

[Funny thing: she did not write this. Apparently one of her coworkers or friends (cough Laurentina cough) decided to make an account for her. What could go wrong?]

SKADI (30s) Likes long walks on the beach, late-night swimming, and the blood of my enemies. Let me sing for you.

✓ ✕

Johanna Constantine | The Sandman (Netflix) | OTA 25+

[keepgodwaiting]

JO CONSTANTINE (34) 💙💜💗 A Liverpool girl in London looking for someone to help her keep her feet on the ground. Let's get a pint and talk about our favorite books. Tories need not apply.

✓ ✕

[ This profile was set up for Johanna by Chas Chandler and she has completely forgotten it exists. ]

Johanna Constantine | The Sandman (Netflix) | OTA 25+

[keepgodwaiting]

CONSTANTINE (34) Swipe to charge, message to cast. A L L U P L E I R U L I G I L U R I E L P U L L A Seeking casual fun with like-minded individuals. Unsolicited dick pics will be forwarded to your mother. Solicited ones will get something in return. Tories need not apply.

✓ ✕

[ Constantine set this one up herself. It's more likely to appear on your potential matches if you're plugged into the occult world, or if you're currently seeking the answer to some kind of secret or mystery.

It's entirely possible for you to see both profiles, of course, and you are welcome to call her out on that. ]

becca nova ~ original ~ ota

[cafeultra]

becca (25) what the shirt says. let's do things that would get us burned at the stake in olden times.

✓ ✕