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a. I think he thinks that I don’t notice when things go missing, but it’s getting out of hand now. A shirt I can explain but my toothbrush? Really?
b. I know I’m a fugitive but do you think you can hold off bringing me in for execution for now and instead come meet me at the bar. I need a responsible adult. Possibly also an irresponsible adult.
c. She’s been knitting hats for the curses. I don’t know how to tell her to stop. But it’s giving me indigestion and they look stupid when I’m trying to be imposing.
d. If you send me one more nude while I’m in the middle of this meeting I’m going to kill everyone here and then myself.
misfires + crosscanon welcome / choose your own / will link replies from other post here!
b. I know I’m a fugitive but do you think you can hold off bringing me in for execution for now and instead come meet me at the bar. I need a responsible adult. Possibly also an irresponsible adult.
c. She’s been knitting hats for the curses. I don’t know how to tell her to stop. But it’s giving me indigestion and they look stupid when I’m trying to be imposing.
d. If you send me one more nude while I’m in the middle of this meeting I’m going to kill everyone here and then myself.
misfires + crosscanon welcome / choose your own / will link replies from other post here!
1) No, you may not borrow Masamune for a champagne bottle-opening trick.
2) I am currently at the grocery store contemplating what makes us human.
3) Consider it positive reinforcement. I'm training you to be a good boy.
4) May this text find you before I do.
5) Making cat noises will not solve this issue, I'm afraid.
6) Genesis made you punch yourself in the face last night, and I would like to apologize on his behalf.
7) ( text him! misfires and assumed cr are very welcome. )
2) I am currently at the grocery store contemplating what makes us human.
3) Consider it positive reinforcement. I'm training you to be a good boy.
4) May this text find you before I do.
5) Making cat noises will not solve this issue, I'm afraid.
6) Genesis made you punch yourself in the face last night, and I would like to apologize on his behalf.
7) ( text him! misfires and assumed cr are very welcome. )
Did you really believe I don't have proof of your activities?
a. unit’s casual friday turned into margarita friday which turned into hr monday but let me tell you, kate’s got some moves! i’m impressed. a little scared. but mostly impressed.
b. i think she was a little put off by the beautician. in my defence i didn’t think the having a snail body would play into it. and yeah, it was a little weird having someone slime all over ur face but #selfcare #beautyispain??.
c. the villain of the week did not like me spontaneously breaking into song but me and rubes literally just watched the barbie movie and he was being such a ken about it.
d. people really need to stop having buttons with ‘do not touch’ written above them, because i just gotta. see button, push button, boom.
misfires + crosscanon welcome / choose your own + mark for spoilers / will link replies from other post here!
b. i think she was a little put off by the beautician. in my defence i didn’t think the having a snail body would play into it. and yeah, it was a little weird having someone slime all over ur face but #selfcare #beautyispain??.
c. the villain of the week did not like me spontaneously breaking into song but me and rubes literally just watched the barbie movie and he was being such a ken about it.
d. people really need to stop having buttons with ‘do not touch’ written above them, because i just gotta. see button, push button, boom.
misfires + crosscanon welcome / choose your own + mark for spoilers / will link replies from other post here!
1: video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
2: My life is just a trash fire now
3: Their pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
4: two words...techno handjob
5: text him?
[Open to new or continuing threads.]
2: My life is just a trash fire now
3: Their pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
4: two words...techno handjob
5: text him?
[Open to new or continuing threads.]
Edited 2024-06-22 19:23 (UTC)
continued / ok just texting this one real quick so i can move it but the next absolutely action
a TERRIBLE one quite frankly.
what flavours do u have? i'm coming anyway but a man's gotta know if he's getting peanut butter chocolate or just plain old vanilla?
a TERRIBLE one quite frankly.
what flavours do u have? i'm coming anyway but a man's gotta know if he's getting peanut butter chocolate or just plain old vanilla?
a. Actually, I’m mad at you because you ignored me in my dream, which is a valid and totally rational way of being. I won’t be told otherwise.
b. He thought I was looking at his wife and tried to pick a fight with me. Apparently almost falling on the floor with laughter is not the way to deny things and now he and his friends are waiting for me outside. One of them has the tiniest little knife! I’m very excited to see what happens next.
c. You’re asking me to do things I’m too pretty to do. Find another minion.
d. Compliment me.
misfires + crosscanon welcome / choose your own
a. it’s part of the brainwashed assassin’s club group bonding. we get real drunk off of counterfeit vodka and do really bad impressions of our old handler’s. it’s fun, in a really, really sad fucking way.
b. y’know i’m kind of surprised he didn’t build a metal schlong into the suit. if there’s anyone who’d take unsolicited dick pics to the next level it would absolutely be him, right?
c. my mouth feels like ten thousand caterpillars came to die in it and my arm has silly string gummed up in the plates. wtf happened last night?
d. we are not spending your birthday inciting riots, we left that shit in the forties. i’ll allow a politically poignant cake tho.
misfires + crosscanon welcome / choose your own / will link replies from other post here!
b. y’know i’m kind of surprised he didn’t build a metal schlong into the suit. if there’s anyone who’d take unsolicited dick pics to the next level it would absolutely be him, right?
c. my mouth feels like ten thousand caterpillars came to die in it and my arm has silly string gummed up in the plates. wtf happened last night?
d. we are not spending your birthday inciting riots, we left that shit in the forties. i’ll allow a politically poignant cake tho.
misfires + crosscanon welcome / choose your own / will link replies from other post here!
You didn't have to mention it, I noticed
Which is perfectly fine with me, by the way
Well, it may have been before I met you
But now I'm daydreaming about it, if that helps
Which is perfectly fine with me, by the way
Well, it may have been before I met you
But now I'm daydreaming about it, if that helps
( from here )
How ever could I be jealous when it means learning more of these endearing things about you?
Why, Aerith. How thoughtful of you.
You may be overestimating my cooking abilities, but I'll be sure to bring emergency food in the event of disaster.
We wouldn't want you going hungry all night, seeing as I'm not allowed to leave. Safety measures, of course.
How ever could I be jealous when it means learning more of these endearing things about you?
Why, Aerith. How thoughtful of you.
You may be overestimating my cooking abilities, but I'll be sure to bring emergency food in the event of disaster.
We wouldn't want you going hungry all night, seeing as I'm not allowed to leave. Safety measures, of course.
continued
The faces a man makes when his brain gets put in a blender should not be held against him. But I'll allow it only because I wanna see you do it.
At least I don't think this one is evil. A mean-spirited beast, but not evil.
The faces a man makes when his brain gets put in a blender should not be held against him. But I'll allow it only because I wanna see you do it.
At least I don't think this one is evil. A mean-spirited beast, but not evil.
Doesn't work either.
Getting the picture of why I worked for HYDRA yet?
Getting the picture of why I worked for HYDRA yet?
1. I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
2. Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
3. I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
4. ( text her~? )
2. Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
3. I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
4. ( text her~? )
1. I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks.
2. Your voicemail was too dramatic for me to call back, so texting you here to make sure you're ok.
3. So did you mean it when you said I could reach out any time?
4. This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos.
5. I woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
6. She told me to use "feeling words" so I kindly told her to fuck off.
7. On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be?
8. or text him! open to new texts!
2. Your voicemail was too dramatic for me to call back, so texting you here to make sure you're ok.
3. So did you mean it when you said I could reach out any time?
4. This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos.
5. I woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
6. She told me to use "feeling words" so I kindly told her to fuck off.
7. On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be?
8. or text him! open to new texts!
continued
No, because infrastructure was shit even pre-war and Benson Mines was six hours away. You think I could have left Steve for that long by himself? The riots, kid.
No, because infrastructure was shit even pre-war and Benson Mines was six hours away. You think I could have left Steve for that long by himself? The riots, kid.
If I stop breathing, he will receive all the videos.
But I am willing to negotiate terms.
But I am willing to negotiate terms.
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