Christmas in July

[ex_tabiya893]

THE CURSED GIFT MEME



Everyone loves to give gifts, right? Whether it's for a birthday, Christmas, a wedding shower, or a housewarming gift, it's time to get caught up in the spirit of love, joy, and generosity. Not all gifts are very nice, though. Someone might make you brownies while you're on a diet, or you'll get a gift card to someplace you've never even heard of. And then there are these gifts, the gifts so horrible no one should ever give them...

But for some reason? You just received one. Good luck with that, and try to survive the occasion!

Rules:
1. Post your character and list any preferences you have
2. Use a random number generator to pick a scenario (1 - 5) and a gift (1 - 20) to decide what you're getting! Or...
3. ...Wait for someone to reply and just plot it out. Go nuts!
4. Play nice and have fun. Respect people's preferences and all that.
5. Consider rule 5 a trigger warning? Some of this stuff might be uncomfortable, so please be clear about what you do/don't want!


Possible Scenarios:
1. Someone is upset with you, and they either sent you the gift or delivered it personally. You know who the gift is from, though!
2. The cursed gift is anonymous. It's just a package left on your doorstep, or maybe it was already on your table? Creepy...but friendly! What could possibly go wrong?
3. The gift wasn't mean for you. Maybe you were supposed to deliver it yourself or it just ended up in the wrong hands...either way, you're using it.
4. You bought it for yourself/yourselves! There are some strange things on Ebay, right? And there's nothing wrong with spoiling yourself once in a while.
5. You found it! Finders keepers, losers...are probably better off. Who can resist free?
6. Make your own!

Cursed Gift:
1. Perfume/Cologne: Some people just want to be irresistible, don't they? Whoever uses this gift will find that they're suddenly just that. Only...it might not work well at all. You might only attract animals, or you might attract the opposite of your desired gender. Or maybe even worse, it will work on everyone...too much of a good thing, right?

2. Lingerie: Oh, these look nice. Silky and black, or maybe they're lacey and red? Either way, someone probably wants you to wear them...and it might not be your special someone. Wearing the gift (or maybe just touching it for too long) will make you fall head over heels for the person who gave them to you...even if you hated them before, even if they're disgusting. At least you'll be happy about it?

3. Dollhouse: You're never too old to play with dolls! It's even more fun collecting them, and you're just about to get another one: You! You could end up any kind of doll; porcelain, plastic, rag...you're about to have plenty of time on your hands. Maybe someone will play with you?

4. Board game: This one seems normal...at first. What's this card, though? Go to jail? Well, here come the police, and they just found that body you hid. Oh, this space says "In the jungle, you must wait, until the dice read 5 or 8." Better hope everyone keeps playing, because in this game, reality warps to match what the cards and spaces tell you they do!

5. Rings: Diamonds a girl's best friend, and they look pretty fly on your guy, too. Once you slip your new ring on, you won't be taking it off ever again. Why would you want to? As an added bonus, you're now linked to whoever wears the other ring! You can feel what they're feeling, hear what they're thinking, see what they're seeing...don't get too close, though. You might end up as one...permanently.

6. Cutlery: Everyone can use a good knife every now and then. For cooking, right? Right. Except when you pick up one of these knives, you start feeling extremely angry...extremely violent...they just have to pay for what they've done to you, right? Or maybe you'll take it out on the next person you see...

7. Leather collar: Well, getting gifts for your pet is certainly...normal. Who's to judge? Only, when you pick up this collar, you have the strangest feeling that it's for you instead. Wearing it will make you completely submissive. Maybe you'll gain a tail or two, or maybe you'll wake up the next morning as an alligator. In every scenario, though, you're no longer a person. You're a pet. Enjoy it.

8. Flash Drive: For the computer geek or student in your family! Just use it once, and all of your memories will be nicely stored on it. Good luck getting them off! Funny how some things only work once, huh? Maybe someone can get them off for you, or maybe they're all gone for good. Hopefully, you can trust the next person you see...

9. Camera: Perfect for a party! Everyone needs to upload these to Facebook, pronto. Only...this camera...was there a sixth person in this picture before? Whoever uses this camera will start seeing things they shouldn't. Are they ghosts or illusions? They seem to want you to join them...better be careful, because you're more accident prone than before, too.

10. Toy soldiers: Everyone loves the nutcracker! ...Or maybe not. How about those little green army men? Or those action figures? Play with one of these, and you'll finally have a perfectly sculpted body...of plastic! Complete with a duty to serve whoever owns you, these toys are perfect for those who don't want to play with the dollhouse.

11. Cigars: For the more refined gentlemen and madames on your Christmas list! Except...how odd, these seem to be handed out more often to the younger audience. No matter. Whoever smokes one of these cigars will find themselves aging. Maybe they'll gain a few years of weight, or lose twenty years of their life. It will show, though. Hopefully, being young was fun for you!

12. Pacifier: Haha, what a mature gift. Instead of growing older like the cigar, you're suddenly growing younger just for touching the thing. You won't become an infant (not unless you want to, at least) but you could become a young adult, a kid, a teenager...you might not want to try driving anytime soon.

13. Down Pillow: It's so soft! It's firm, too, somehow...just perfect for anyone. Why would you (yawn) ever want to sleep with anything else? For that matter...why would you ever want to wake up? (Yawn) Sleeping is just...too perfect...wake me never...

14. Red Wine: Everyone needs a drink, especially during the holiday season. It's a bit strange-tasting, though...and isn't that a bit too off-color? This gift is perfect for the blood-lovers, because there's a bit of blood in that glass you just drank. Enjoy the new fangs and the bloodlust, and try to hold onto your sanity. Some might say this is the best gift of all...!

15. Voodoo Doll: Now, this is a cute doll! Don't worry, you're not going to be played with. Just try to keep this doll in a safe place. I wouldn't throw it away if I were you. Ouch! Your cat's fangs are certainly painful, aren't they? Only, the cat is biting the doll, not you. ...Wait! No, Fluffy, no! Don't throw the doll into the fire! Can you be trusted with your own fate?

16. Monkey's paw: Your wishes will all come true, your wishes will all come true~! This thing may be gross, but that million dollars you wished for? Congratulations, you just had someone give you a million dollars...as a result of a money laundering scheme. Enjoy prison. You want to be fit and have people look at you? You might just "wake up" as a mannequin. All of your wishes will go horribly wrong, even the innocent ones.

17. Genie's lamp: It's all about the wishes, isn't it? Only...this lamp is empty. Oh well, guess whoever rubs this lamp will have to take care of that. People who receive this gift will become genies/djinn and serve their masters as best they can...and then the next master...and the master after that...won't anyone free you?

18. Wind Chimes: These are lovely. They make the sweetest sound when the wind jingles them just right...it's a good thing, because it's always stormy out. It's much safer inside, you'll start to realize. Hanging up these wind chimes will make you never want to leave your house again. You can tell what the weather's like just from opening your window and looking...right at those chimes...

19. Scarf: Hasn't it been extra snowy lately? This gift is extremely thoughtful! Wearing something like this will make the cold feel like nothing to you. And...it will make everything else feel like nothing, too. Your sense of taste and smell will slowly vanish, as will your ability to feel temperature or things you pick up with your own hands. Soon, you won't be angry or sad, either...but that's alright. Just let me know--is the coffee hot? Or is it cold?

20. Marionette: An old puppet doesn't make for the greatest gift, but it will certainly keep things lively...because it's alive! It moves when you aren't looking, and sometimes? It moves when you are. It won't be long before it's chasing you, trying to kill you, or turning you into a puppet like himself...puppets are never lonely when they come in a pair.

21. Make your own! There are plenty of awful gifts out there, right?

Original meme credit hateshumans

Comments

Gaius || Fire Emblem Awakening || OTA

[sugarbaddy]

[ this is probably all tharja's fault ]

5-4

[wyrmsbane]

[ Nowi's found a boardgame and Gaius is the only free person around for her to bother. Explanation and set-up takes a few minutes as Nowi learns the pieces can't be eaten but she's quickly cheered up as she claims the dice and rolls.

After moving her game piece five steps forward, she picks up a card. ]

Uh, let's see... 'Need a hand? Well, you just wait. We'll help you out, we each have eight.'

[ She blinks. ]

Eight?

Mitsuru Kirijo | Persona 3

[obeymycommand]

[ota, but especially interested in 3, 5, 7, 12, 15, 16, or 17. talk to me before anything smutty.]

Lark Tennant | Sharp Teeth | OTA

[ukan]

Ana Clark, Dawn of the Dead 2004, F/M for romance--OTA all else

[igothim]

Chang Wufei | Gundam Wing | MM for romance

[chang_wufei]

[Interested in 3, a light 7, 14, and 17.]

17

[path_refused]

The king of the Ashura clan was used to receiving various unusual gifts. Not just from the king of all Heaven, but from individuals on his own clan and those who worshiped Ashura and his fellow gods. It was simply part of being who and what he was.

Often he simply had his gifts sent directly to his chambers, to wait for him to look over them himself. Books. Scrolls. Precious items. Lamp - that was different... He reached out to pick it up, curious.

7

[deathspilot]

Duo'd thought it was a joke from Wufei. A collar? Really? The braided man picked the admittedly finely made collar and fingered the soft leather, clearly meant to be worn around a human's neck. And clearly for him, considering the coloring.

He pouted down at it and called out to their living room. "Nice one, 'Fei - but are you sure you got the right size?" Because of course he'd make a joke of it. And yet he found himself reaching up and putting the thing on.

Orihara Izaya, high school era | Durarara!! | OTA

[raijin_izaya]

First steps into investigating the supernatural gone bad? XD I'm open to Izaya being the victim for any of the options except the age-changing ones.
For all the options that don't supposedly have good results, you may also feel free to assume that Izaya is giving the gift to your character by way of experiment. How else can he safely find out if it works, after all?

2-9

[reallyhatesviolence]

[He's coming home from school when he finds the package, shirt covered in rips and tears as it usually is. Fucking Izaya's the reason he goes through so many shirts in a week. Yet the day ended as it usually did, with Shizuo grudgingly leaving Russia Sushi after having been scolded yet again by the older man, and once again he had failed to break the flea's nose.

Shizuo almost misses the package entirely, but then his foot bumps against it as he reaches the front door, and after blinking once he glances down. Lifting up the box, he looks it over, mumbling 'what the hell is this?'. It's addressed to him, oddly enough, but what's even odder is that there is no return address.

With such a suspicious parcel, the obvious course of action is to open it. Tearing the top open, Shizuo reaches in and, after a moment, draws out a small object.]

A camera?

[He looks it over, turning it in his hands. It's an older model, but otherwise appears normal. Why it was sent to him, though, is a complete mystery. Maybe it was just a mistake? Lifting it up, Shizuo moves his fingers along the top...and accidentally takes a picture of himself.]

Jonathan Crane | DC | OTA

[arkham_doctor]

Sherlock Holmes || Sherlock BBC || all options

[improbably_true]

Oh hello! Long time no see? :3

[theconfirmedbachelor]

[Fancy a thread? How about one of the following: 7, 14, 18, 19? The cursed present can arrive on the doorstep, no name tag on it, worth opening together to see what's inside?]

Yuna | FFX-2

[silverwings]

[Not interested in 13 or 14, otherwise open!]

Jack | Bioshock | Anything but sex

[obeyseventually]

[[So uh, 2's probably right out. I'm gonna say 11 too, since I'm not sure I can do anything interesting with an old Jack. :T

If you want something to start with, I could always say Jack got some cologne that attracts splicers and he's running right at you!!!

or you can roll for whatever. I could even start? 8D]]

Usagi Tsukino | Sailor Moon | open to any

[mooncrystal]

 

kamui // gintama // ota

[foeyay]

Yaten Kou | Sailor Moon (mangaverse)

[starsensitiveinferno]

[neither aging option pings me, but otherwise ota]

Steve Rogers | MCU | m/m for romance

[starspangledspandex]

1 - definitely looking for that m/m romance... what if it only attracted ghosts? XD

[iamagod]

It has been over two months since the week they spent in Washington and it felt like they made real progress. At least, Loki was a bit more tolerating of the super solder's 'boringness' and Rogers, well, there wasn't much he could do about his dead companion anyway. It seemed that he did cater a bit more to Loki's whims though, and in return, Loki made less trouble for the captain. Relatively speaking.

The god still made plenty of commentaries whenever he was in the same room with the other Avengers or SHIELD personnel just to annoy Rogers, and suspected that no matter what straight face the super soldier wore, he never quite could ignore the mischievous god. Except when Thor was also around, then Loki would always disappear.

They sparred too, possibly one of the few activities that both of them enjoyed. It was one day that Loki suggested they stripped down before they sparred. That was as close to being true sparring as they ever came since skin to skin contact allowed the captain to touch him, and it worked out well enough that they did it every so often. Loki never admitted it, but he enjoyed being corporeal during those times too and seemed to almost always be in better spirits after. Of course, it might have to do with him nearly always beating the super soldier too. A dead god was still a god.

It was after one of these and Loki waited in the change room for Rogers to come out of the showers —he did have the decency to disappear while the captain was inside—. "When will you not fall for the hand trick?" he asked when Rogers came out with a towel wrapped around him. Loki was already dressed, courtesy of being a ghost. Today had been a tie, but like always, Loki hadn't fought fair.

6- Steve touches a cursed knife?

[you_have_heart]

Loki's been pouring over this strange artifact the Avengers brought him for hours now. It was very rare that they came to him for help, but it was clear that the dagger had magical properties so Thor somehow found his not-brother and brought him back to Avengers tower with the understanding that if he helped, and as long as his next prank didn't kill anyone they might overlook going after him.

Of course they won't leave him alone with the dagger, which is why the Captain is there.

Lindsey McDonald | Angel S2 | OTA

[hellsbestlawyer]

Claire Bennet | Heroes | OTA!

[breakablegirl]

John Watson || BBC's Sherlock

[substituteskull]

2 + 19

[noshit]

It had been left at the door, but it really wasn't unusual. People knew that Sherlock Holmes and bachelor John Watson lived here. Every once in a while they would be left a gift for some case they'd solved.

So when Sherlock brings up a small box with no address or stamps or much of anything on it to denote who it's from... it's not that much of a strange thing really.

"Another 'gift'." Sherlock tosses it on the couch, not even interested. Probably more cuff links. Boring.