❛Maria Magdalena❜ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
treks) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2024-06-11 05:58 am
treks) wrote in bakerstreet2024-06-11 05:58 am
Entry tags:
I'm ugly and I'm proud
why i'm single
these assumed relationship movies, well, assume a lot. like you're even capable of being in a relationship, for starters.
how to play:
➬ no rocket science here. your character tells us why they're single. they can...fudge details, of course! of course.
➬ everybody shares their hot take on whether your character's singlehood is deserved or not. you never know, they could even volunteer to remedy the situation!
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Oh I been there done that for plenty of years, but if your over thousands then you've got more years on me. Guess I'm the whipper snapper.
[Which is strange to imagine.]
Why I'm just a young two hundred... hell, closer to three hundred than anything.
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[ The actual babies. ]
Numbers get a little muddled after the first couple millenniums, yeah. I'm definitely a bit of a geezer.
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[He can dunk on himself sometimes.]
Hell, son, you some sorta angel then?
[Look he's not saying he believes this, but he's going to ask anyway.]
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[ He's been around for a really, really, really, long time - but he can't say he's seen many survive enough radiation that melts off your nose with their wits about them. Congrats?
At that question, though, Gildo's face scrunches so tightly you'd think he smelled a rancid fart and tasted a rotten lemon at the same time. ]
What - no, hells below - I'm not an angel. Ugh. [ Does he give off that vibe? The vibe that the humans seem to think angels give off and the vibe they actually give off both suck, to be honest. ] I was created to keep everything from going to shit. They call me a "Bridge" but that never made sense to me - bridges just sit there getting walked all over-
-actually that may be more accurate than I thought.
[ Shit. Well, the point is- ]
-I'm not an angel or a demon. Let's just get that straight.
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[Radiation + Cooper = crispy old noseless man. He does however listen with a raise of his brow at the other man who goes on a bit of a tangent. The ghoul chuckles.]
Hit a bit of a sore spot did I, Mr. Bridge? What's so bad about being called an angel, ain't they supposed to be the good guys?
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Nukes? Now that isn't something I've seen a lot of.
[ Of course, his idea of "a lot" might be a little different.
Cooper's question gets an indignant snort. ]
That's what everyone thinks, but let me tell you - you lot are seriously misguided in that belief. Don't remember where that bull started, but angels are entitled, power hungry pricks. Y'know they have the power to stop making earth a miserable fucking rock, right? But, they do the bare minimum cause it does nothing for them.
Fuck 'em.
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[It's amusing to hear that apparently Heaven and Hell are two giant corporations setting the world on fire in their own way.]
Honestly don't give a shit either way. Mighta been a God fearing man at some point in my life, think I stopped believing even before the nukes dropped. Sure as hell don't believe now.
[He hmphs.]
So which angel pissed in your Sugarbombs?
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[ Namely cause there is indeed a specific angel that pisses in his "sugarbombs", but he won't give him the satisfaction of acknowledging that out loud. ]
They're all awful. And they don't have pretty white wings and flowing hair - just so you know. They're hideous. They just pretend to look nice.
[ Is he just ranting about angels now? Yes. Yes, he is. ]
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Cooper snorts softly.]
"Be not afraid." Right?
So what then, you're saying I could be prettier than any angel?
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[ Even he gets a little unsettled by some of their appearances. They go beyond just ugly. Some could drive a poor soul mad just trying to understand what they're looking at. Or crumble under a gaze so intense it borders on physically painful - so intense you can only focus on its eyes as the rest of the figure becomes nothing but a blur. It varies. ]
I guarantee you're prettier than literally any angel.
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[He says, more amused than anything.]
So y'said something about folks in your line a work handing over the souls of dates a lot. Is that some kinda soul snatching gig ya'll cooked up?
Cat fishing for souls?
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[ They're just cogs in the big machine, okay. ]
Er, "a lot" relatively speaking. I try not to take the "date" angle myself.
[ One genuine incident was enough. He's sure others take that route and end up buying into their own bullshit even. They may not be human, but he swears they spend enough time around them and end up doing silly things like catching feelings. Tsk. ]
But, yeah. Our line of works involves some trickery. Some more than others. Small price to pay for keeping hell from swallowing the earth whole, if you ask me.
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[Can you hear the sarcasm?]
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[ Oh he hears it. ]
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[ He knows it's bullshit. He knows. Unfortunately, he's far too tired and old to care! About time, to be honest. He remembers back when it bothered him. Ugh, gross. Feelings are awful. This definitely has zero affect on him now in any way shape or form and he most certainly doesn't find unhealthy ways to cope ever. ]
Look, mate - it's just the way the world works. The way this all keeps on spinning. If they don't get their tasty souls, they come up here and plunge the world into an eternity of suffering the likes of which will go unending, even when the universe finally goes lights out.
It's not pleasant, lemme tell you.