bakerstreet | It May Be Fun, But It Sure is Awkward Meme

Sex is weird. You do what with that? And it goes where? Oh god, right there, right - ohgodnonotthere! Did you just - no, no, it's fine. Whatever. I'm tired anyway. You want to have sex WHERE?!

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I. LOCATION!
1. The Beach!
Sounds great, right? There was that whole romantic thing in the movies and DEAR FUCKING GOD THERE'S SOMETHING CRAWLING ON ME GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!

2. The Pool/Ocean/Shower!
This is a great idea, right? Absolutely nothing could go wrong! Wait, what do you mean water washes away lubrication? God, I hope we don't drown/fall and crack our skulls open.

1. On Random Furniture!
Um. Um. Honey? I think it's great that you have that whole 'I absolutely need you right now' thing going, but I am not having sex on my grandfather's hand-carved table.

4. The Bathrooms!
Oh. Oh god. What is that smell? I think I'm going to throw up.

5. The Car!
Honey, you remembered to put the parking break on, right? Move over, I have a seat belt buckle in my back.

6. The Movie Theater!
Gdi, that guy's doing a walkthrough again. What the hell does he think we're doing in here- oh.

7. The Great Outdoors!
I'm sorry, I didn't invite that squirrel to this party. Oh man, I'm getting bug bites places I didn't even know I had.

8. In An Airplane!
Augh augh augh we're going to crash and die! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Oh man, I think I'm stuck. DAMN THESE TINY BATHROOMS.

9. WHERE AM I?!
DIY space! Pick another number or make up your own!

II. OOPS?

1. Injury!
Darling? Sweetie? Honey? I swear I didn't mean to slam you into the wall like that. Talk to me?

2. Timing!
....Uh. Look, if you give me a little while, I'm sure I can get it up again - can I give you a massage or something in the meantime?

3. Interruption!
OH MY GOD WHO THE HELL IS CALLING WHEN I AM FINALLY GETTING SOME - hi, Mom!

4. Awkward Bodily Functions!
...That totally wasn't what it sounded like. Honest!

5. Calling Out the Wrong Name!
Yeah, you're screwed. Just leave now while you still have your limbs.

6. Failed Experimentation!
Hey, honey? Honey? This really isn't working for me. I'm really sorry.

7. Just Plain Fail!
Where did I put the keys to those handcuffs?

8. Oh Shit!
DIY space! I have no idea what just happened, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't good. Pick another number or make up your own!

III. OBSTACLES!

1. Stress!
It's not you, honey, it's just that I've got a lot on my mind. Maybe we could try this a different way?

2. Preparation, Preparation, Preparation!
Fuck, where did the condoms go? Have you seen the lube? I swear they were around here somewhere!

3. Inexperience!
Do you like it like this? How about like this? Okay, what if I do - okay, no, not that. How about -

4. Location!
Your cousin just HAD to show up and need a place to crash today. IF WE DO NOT FIND SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO EXPLODE!

5. Mood-Killer!
I just feel like that picture of your mom is staring at me. :|

6. Surprise!
Hey. You didn't have that cut before. No, I want you to tell me what happened! Did you always have that birthmark? Holy shit! Where did you get THAT scar?

7. How The Hell Do I Say This?!
Hey, honey, you know that thing you do that you think is really sexy and stuff? ...Could you not do it this time?

8. Aww, I'm Sorry, Baby!
DIY space! Pick another number or make up your own!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

They could have just stayed in a hotel or gone on a camping trip, even just pitched a tent in the backyard and this would have been less awkward, but how was Kay supposed to have said no to her oldest friend? When Joey had heard they'd be renovating for a few nights and had offered up her spare room, Kay, in a moment of nostalgia and excitement, had agreed for herself and Aaron. To be fair it was nice to spend some time catching up. Last time Aaron and Joey had spent any time together was after that incident with the Drasis.

But now it was something like two in the morning and they'd all just gone to bed after several glasses of wine and plenty of good talk. Aaron and she had staked out the spare bed, which was narrower than she liked but not uncomfortable and the narrowness provided an excellent pretense for climbing on top of him.

What she hadn't counted on was the fact that it turned out that sound insulation wasn't even a thing in Joey's world and they could hear the elemental the next room over getting ready for bed. Of course, that meant she could hear everything they were doing, too...

Cockblocked (as such) and frustrated, the half-naked fire elemental sat back and looked monstrously out of sorts.

Aaron looked up at the redhead, his expression one of only somewhat less consternation. Kay had been doing little things all day to drive him nuts: casting glances, bumping into him, making grabs now and again whenever they were alone for just a moment. He'd been hoping that, now that they finally had a room to themselves, he could repay her in kind, but the fact that he could hear Joey humming from the next room over meant that there was no way that they were going to let vent the tension that had been building up.

Hell, even with the most minute shift, this bed skreeked like a rusty gate. "What would you say to the floor?" the blonde murmured, always the resourceful one.

"She'd still hear us," she muttered back through her teeth... though honestly the floor was better than the bed and goddamnit, she'd try.

Shifting to climb off of him again she slid over the edge of the bed to the floor feet-first, dragging the blanket along with her. The room wasn't hot, but she could make it warm enough herself that they might not even need a blanket -- though honestly, in regards to the sex thing all being on the floor meant was that they wouldn't be screaming their intentions through the wall.

Er, not at first, anyways.

Really, the elemental was looking progressively more annoyed as she thought through their options and came up with very few. "Could sneak out," she suggested in a mutter.

The padding on the floor wasn't going to be much if they went this route... but then, it wasn't like they were going to be at it in the way that Aaron would have preferred.

"Where would we go?" he asked, having swung his legs over the side of the bed to watch the redhead.

The thing about being able to pop off to wherever was, of course, the usual problem of having too many choices. Kay, scowling deeply, shook her head. "Nowhere near private enough," she complained, eyeballing him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

A breath of exasperation, and she threw up her hands. "Shit, we should just do it and awkward breakfasts be damned!" Still, she was keeping her voice down; there were few people in the world that she'd go out of her way to avoid embarrassing, and Joey was one of them. The redhead was practically pouting with the exertion, and she leaned back to the bed, putting her hands on Aaron's knees. "Any ideas?"

"We could just wait until the house is done," Aaron tossed out, an option he clearly didn't enjoy the prospect of. He lifted his arms, draped them over her shoulders so that his hands could knead at her back.

The look she gave him then, equal parts heated and baleful, suggested what she thought of that prospect. Still, he was good at soothing the savage beast, and her shoulders slumped, relaxed...

...though not too relaxed to bring a hand around, run it under the hem of his shirt. Even the prospect of having to stop before they got anywhere didn't cool her case of the hot panties, and though she knew she was just going to frustrate herself she was doing it anyways, damn it!

His hands stopped their ministrations, and Aaron cast her a look that suggested that she best not pursue that line of thought or action. 'Don't you dare,' he mouthed, already feeling a shivered response to Kay's roaming touch.

The fierce grin that she shot back let him know that his demand only goaded her on further, and Kay's wandering hands took a more definitely erotic bent, one of them sneaking down to fondle him through his pants.

And then she stopped, drawing back with a profoundly annoyed expression as they heard Joey lay down in her own bed, the next room over. Damn it, of course if their springs had to creak, so did hers!

It could have been more awkward: Joey could have had her own partner and Aaron and Kay could be the ones wishing they had sound proofing for other reasons.

Or maybe that would be less awkward; at least it would have meant that everyone was equally responsible for the awkward breakfast thereafter.

Whatever the case, Aaron sighed when the redhead stopped her mischievous wanderings. "Bring those blankets back up here, would you?" he whispered. If they couldn't sate their urges, at least he could wrap an arm around her on a comfortable mattress before they went to sleep.

Kay looked for a long moment like she might refuse on principle, positively cross at the prospect. Finally, however, she did, climbing back up onto the bed (cringing at the creak of springs) with the blanket along with her. She climbed all the way over Aaron so that she could snuggle into the inside, right up against the wall. "Tomorrow," she murmured in his ear, "we are going to find somewhere nice and private."

"And then I'm going to fuck you right through the mattress," Aaron murmured back, grinning in the dark. He couldn't bring himself to spoon with the woman, considering the sort of reaction that was liable to get. Instead he wrapped his arm around her while laying on his back, pulling her close whilst being especially, ever so carefully, chaste about where he rested his hand.

She sighed, some alchemical mix between frustration and satisfaction, and casting a hand unsexily across his chest she settled in for the rest. Oh, well; she'd make sure he followed up on that tomorrow!

It May Be Fun, But It Sure is Awkward Meme

Kay, OC, and III-4

((No icons, eh?! Two can play at that game!))

Hey, it was your idea!

Nuh uh it wasn't!

:P

>:P

>:3

...>:B

You know, after so much porn, cockblocking these two is fun!

I suppose we ought to do it more often. :D

Hee hee!

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